Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

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Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

3.65 of 5 stars 3.65 · rating details · 168 ratings · 54 reviews

People who are single are changing the face of America. Did you know that:

* More than 40 percent of the nation's adults---over 87 million people---are divorced, widowed, or have always been single.
* There are more households comprised of single people living alone than of married parents and their children.
* Americans now spend more of their adult years single than marr

...more

Many of today's single people have engaging jobs, homes that they own, and a network of friends. This is not the 1950s---singles can have sex without marrying, and they can raise smart, successful, and happy children. It should be a great time to be single. Yet too often single people are still asked to defend their single status by an onslaught of judgmental peers and fretful relatives.

Prominent people in politics, the popular press, and the intelligentsia have all taken turns peddling myths about marriage and singlehood. Marry, they promise, and you will live a long, happy, and healthy life, and you will never be lonely again.

Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo debunks the myths of singledom---and shows that just about everything you've heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment by the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism. Single people really are living happily ever after.

Filled with bracing bursts of truth and dazzling dashes of humor, Singled Out is a spirited and provocative read for the single, the married, and everyone in between.

You will never think about singlehood or marriage the same way again.

Singled Out debunks the Ten Myths of Singlehood, including:

Myth #1: The Wonder of Couples: Marrieds know best.

Myth #3: The Dark Aura of Singlehood: You are miserable and lonely and your life is tragic.

Myth #5: Attention, Single Women: Your work won't love you back and your eggs will dry up. Also, you don't get any and you're promiscuous.

Myth #6: Attention, Single Men: You are horny, slovenly, and irresponsible, and you are the scary criminals. Or you are sexy, fastidious, frivolous, and gay.

Myth #7: Attention, Single Parents: Your kids are doomed.

Myth #9: Poor Soul: You will grow old alone and you will die in a room by yourself where no one will find you for weeks.

Myth #10: Family Values: Let's give all of the perks, benefits, gifts, and cash to couples and call it family values.

"With elegant analysis, wonderfully detailed examples, and clear and witty prose, DePaulo lays out the many, often subtle denigrations and discriminations faced by single adults in the U.S. She addresses, too, the resilience of single women and men in the face of such singlism. A must-read for all single adults, their friends and families, as well as social scientists and policy advocates."
---E. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman

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Hardcover, 336 pages

Published November 14th 2006 by St. Martin's Press (first published 2006)

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Mar 09, 2013 Melinda Seyler rated it 2 of 5 stars

Recommended to Melinda by: newleaph@gmail.com

I heard about this book somewhere- probably CBC radio as that's where most of my book info comes from- and have had the name floating on my desk for a year or so. I finally ordered it from the library and read it.
First of all, it interested me because I have noted many of the situations which the author comments about: I have to pay extra when going on holiday, because I only am one person. It is not an option to say; "I'll take a single room," because there ARE NO single rooms anymore. Yes, yes...more
I heard about this book somewhere- probably CBC radio as that's where most of my book info comes from- and have had the name floating on my desk for a year or so. I finally ordered it from the library and read it.
First of all, it interested me because I have noted many of the situations which the author comments about: I have to pay extra when going on holiday, because I only am one person. It is not an option to say; "I'll take a single room," because there ARE NO single rooms anymore. Yes, yes, I understand that most people are couples or families and it makes sense to have larger rooms for them all to sleep in, but how is that MY fault? I would love to just stay in a little room with a small bed and pay accordingly, but that's not an option. And I'm not sure that the tax thing is still valid, at least in Canada. I do think it unfair that singles can't designate someone as their beneficiary on pension insurance and , again, am not sure that's the case in Canada. But there are many inequities, that's true. There's the constant assumption that a person of a particular age is married, or there is something wrong with them. There are all the studies that show marrieds as happier and healthier (turns out that's not really the case when you look at all the data).
On the other hand, the more I read, the more I was reminded of my time in university. I was an arts/ Chinese major but often searched other faculties for interesting courses. At one time there were quite a few interesting courses about women in the arts and Oriental women's literature, so I took them. [At this point, let me say that I would describe myself as a feminist. As Susan B. Anthony (February 15, 1820 - March 13, 1906) said: "Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less."] I found myself seeing discrimination everywhere as I took those classes. Most of the other people in those classes were Women's Studies majors and my feeling of being constantly discriminated against was reinforced by my fellow students. I am not saying that there is not discrimination against both women and singles, but it doesn't seem that railing on against it constantly does much good except to alienate others and make oneself unhappy. I guess I prefer a more subtle approach. Let my accomplishments speak for themselves. I mean, I do building restoration and farming; both pretty male dominated fields.
So after reading this book, my thought was ..."yes, and now what?" I do think I might ask for greater discounts on rooms and other blatantly singlist policies, but what else? Do I really think that asking the provincial government for a discount on my health care premiums with fly?? I don't comment much to others on my personal life, unless they already know me, so that won't change. (One of the other farmers at the market where I sell all summer was surprised last year to learn I ran my farm alone- after knowing me for 4 years...it just never came up.)
But I do think that I will write an obituary and bury it in my person papers/files. The chapter I found quite revealing was the one where accomplished singles are compared to people with partners. Condoleezza Rice for example seen as lonely and work obsessed because she isn't married- even though she is an accomplished pianist, a respected university professor, had friends, etc. So my advice is to everyone: Write your obituary, so you can emphasize what you think were your accomplishments and the important aspects of your life. And that's probably good advice for everyone, not just singles....
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Jun 12, 2012 Liviania rated it 4 of 5 stars

I know some people are marriage-obsessed and I’ve certainly experienced one of the main questions at a family gathering being, “So, do you have a boyfriend?”; still, I’ve never realized the extent of discrimination against singles. (And yes, Bella DePaulo is very aware that singles do not face the discrimination many other groups must survive.) Sometimes she seems to be digging too deep into a frankly benign situation, but other times she uncovers surprising truths. The tone rarely contains bitt...more I know some people are marriage-obsessed and I’ve certainly experienced one of the main questions at a family gathering being, “So, do you have a boyfriend?”; still, I’ve never realized the extent of discrimination against singles. (And yes, Bella DePaulo is very aware that singles do not face the discrimination many other groups must survive.) Sometimes she seems to be digging too deep into a frankly benign situation, but other times she uncovers surprising truths. The tone rarely contains bitterness – yes, there is some, but DePaulo approaches her subject matter with humor. Each chapter focuses on a different subject singlehood in a fairly self-contained manner. Thus, I’d like to make some comments about my favorite discussions.

Science and the Single Person

This is perhaps my favorite chapter in the book. Some might be intimidated by the large amount of data presented, but DePaulo presents everything in easy to understand terminology and graphics. We’ve all heard that married people are happier and healthier – but how accurately are scientists presenting this data? As it turns out, not very. I want to force some of my science friends to research some of the topics DePaulo brings up for their theses.

Myth #2: Single-Minded

DePaulo barely has to make a case for this one. What to single people want? To get married. Yeah, right. She deftly addresses how demeaning it feels to be reduced to an empty-headed man or woman chaser, simply because you don’t have a partner. She brings up examples of this experience that will feel familiar to any single. None of the material in this chapter seems stretched; it’s a concise, clearly stated common problem.

Myth #4 It Is All About You

This chapter definitely brought some issues to my attention I had never considered. Many cultures regard marriage as a sign of maturity, and treat singles as children no matter their age. On the other hand, there are many culturally acceptable ways for married people to act immature. One of the most obvious: a perfectly capable married person can rely on their spouse to cook and do their laundry.

Myth #6 Attention, Single Men

SINGLED OUT is a female-centric work, partially because it is informed by DePaulo’s person experience. This chapter focuses entirely on the male side of the equation. One of the most intriguing points is the tendency to perceive single men as creepers. In truth, many serial killers married and procreated. The majority of violence against women is done by a past or current intimate partner. In the end, DePaulo concludes society regards single men more favorably than single women.

To Be or Not to Be Single

DePaulo writes, “I think that most Americans – including most single Americans – want the marital mythology to be true. They passionately want to believe that if only they find their soulmate, they will live happily ever after.” My friends and I talk all the time about this concept, and we do want it to be true. We grew up in an age of high divorce rates, but we still hold the Disney dream close – jaded, cynical teenagers who still believe one day we’ll find the one. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. Who cares? We’ll be just fine on our own, whether Prince Charming arrives on the scene or not.

Don’t be put off by the non-fiction aspect. SINGLED OUT is a fascinating read. It may not change your paradigm, but it will open your eyes to various injustices.(less)

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Oct 04, 2011 Stephanie Gross rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: health-environment

I stumbled upon this book last week on Facebook. Someone had posted a New York Times article covering National Singles and Unmarried Week. Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. Harvard, was mentioned along with her newest book Singlism: what it is, why it matters and how to stop it. (The latter is on my wishlist. It's an anthology by 26+ contributors on the topic.) At any rate, DePaulo is the first author I've read to really face the topic head-on as a social scientist with an objective, critical eye. The book e...more

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Jul 28, 2011 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

(full disclosure, I am not single, I am engaged)

I think this was a really strong book when it argued the point that singles in American culture are patronized, stereotyped, pitied, and generally looked upon as deficient in some manner. She can clearly prove this with examples from newspapers, movies, tv, and the personal anecdotes of people around here.

However I do think that the book falls down around the concept of singles as happy. The author seems to be on a quest to justify that she is real...more

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Jul 02, 2010 Yasmin rated it 5 of 5 stars

I reviewed this book for Windy City Times, and the original review can be found at the link below this review.

If you're single, you'll die alone and miserable in a cramped and filthy apartment. Only the stench of your putrefying corpse will alert neighbors to your death. Once they break down the door, they'll find your desperately ravenous cats chewing on the soft tissue of your eyes and lips. There'll be no one to claim the body or your pitiful estate. Your life, in short, will have been useles...more

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Jan 05, 2013 Michele Minor rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book goes into the common sterotypes that singles face and dispels them. Though when it comes to getting government benefits including tax breaks single parents do get more benefits than do married couples. There is a double standard with married moms and single moms when it comes to how their choices can be seen. If a married woman whose husband is unemployed or underemployed decides to not work she is seen as standing up for her family however if a single woman decides not to work than sh...more

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Dec 17, 2008 Alexis rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this book in one heroic burst. At times I felt the author was overcompensating or a bit angry, but I still really appreciated the nature of this book. Her premise is that the world is prejudiced again single people, especially those who are HAPPILY single. There are numerous ways in which we maintain stereotypes about singleness, and that single people are discriminated against when it comes to things like buying homes, insurance etc.

At times the book was a bit dense or repetitive, which...more

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Jan 28, 2013 Kate Sherrod rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm tempted, this time around, to just share all the passages I highlighted, but that would just be lazy, and would probably somehow confirm some of you in your stereotyping of older single women as selfish and flippant and useless and whatnot. Heh.

For yea, I am one of those, unashamedly in my 40s and not only unmarried but uninterested in changing that, and I've been the target of every single (heh) one of the crappy remarks, employment practices, interrogations and dismissals Bella DePaulo cal...more

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Jun 28, 2010 Rose rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is awesome. Everyone, married and single should read this. The next person who tries to pity me for being lonely is going to get slapped upside the head with this book.

People may think it's whiny for single people to be taken seriously and for people to believe singles are happy the way they are, but it's not. For every time a couple leaves you out of an evening out ("we thought you might feel left out if you were the only single person") or relegates you to the kids table or doesn't...more

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Jun 01, 2012 Peggy rated it 4 of 5 stars

An excellent read -- I would have given it five stars if not for the ranting. DePaulo goes in depth into what the research actually says about overall happiness of single people vs. married people, and how even the research conclusions are filtered through a "matrimania" lens. Marriage is used as the gold standard with which to measure all relationships, and singles are discriminated against unquestioningly when it comes to health benefits, taxes, and workplace discrimination. After reading the...more

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Jun 24, 2009 Gretchen rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

This book was pretty good. As someone who is pretty much perpetually single, I could relate to a lot of the stuff she talked about. I also belong to a religious/cultural group where marriage, especially young marriage, is highly valued. Therefore, at 29, I am quite the old maid. Anyway, on with the review.

At first I had a hard time getting into the book. The first couple of chapters she's just setting up her methods and doing a lot of statistical/scientific stuff that was not very interesting to...more

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Sep 27, 2012 Natalie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this book as it verifed that I am not alone in some of my thoughts/feelings about being single in today's society. Unfortunately, I learned some distressing things that I was not aware of prior to reading this book such as Social Security benefits go back into the pool for all upon my passing and I am not able to bequeath them to my loved ones. There are many advantages to being married, socially and financially. Some of these things I have unfortunately experienced in life such...more

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Jan 03, 2012 Kelly rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was very interesting and not near as dry or scholarly as I thought it might be. The author pointed out statistics (and how they have been skewed) to show how marriage was advantageous for ones happiness, health, etc. Turns out, those that remain single their whole lives are consistently happier. Not a huge surprise given the divorce rate these days.

She also discusses how people expecting one person to fill all their emotional needs is unrealistic and sets one up for failure. She notes...more

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Oct 02, 2010 Terri Lucas rated it 5 of 5 stars

Loved this book. DePaulo clearly described, in detail, the ten myths of singlehood, then proceeded to shoot the proper holes in those assumptions. At times she comes across as admittedly angry, but obviously allows that other forms of discrimination have had far more disastrous consequences throughout history. However, that does not mean that matrimania (seriously hearting that term) should continue to trump and be taken more seriously than the choice to remain happily single. For me, the real b...more

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Dec 01, 2012 Jim Townsend rated it 4 of 5 stars

I thought this book was a good presentation of things that, as a lifelong single man, I already knew but to which I never paid attention. I certainly was aware of the outright discrimination against singles practiced by the travel industry and by the tax laws of the United States. It was very enlightening to know that, unless you're married, you can't leave your social security benefits to anyone else. I would recommend this book to anyone, especially to fellow singles who wonder why they have t...more

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Jan 22, 2011 Meika rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was a pressure release valve for me.

Growing up in a church where the patriarchal model of marriage and family is central (all-consuming might not be overstating it), I'm very familiar with much of the rhetoric about how your health, happiness, sense of self, longevity, and eternal salvation are dependent on finding a mate and bearing children. I ran like hell because it went against everything that matters to me. I ran like hell because I didn't like the feeling that I was little bett...more This book was a pressure release valve for me.

Growing up in a church where the patriarchal model of marriage and family is central (all-consuming might not be overstating it), I'm very familiar with much of the rhetoric about how your health, happiness, sense of self, longevity, and eternal salvation are dependent on finding a mate and bearing children. I ran like hell because it went against everything that matters to me. I ran like hell because I didn't like the feeling that I was little better than a head of cattle in that arrangement. (I know, that's insulting and not everyone feels that way.)

On the outside, I thought, I can be free of that stigma. The stigma that clearly marks me as desperate, fatally flawed, gold-digging, spinster librarian etc etc etc vomit. Alas, out here, there is match.com, eHarmony.com plentyoffish.com etc etc vomit again. Not only that, but now that I can watch rated-R movies with impunity, I'm subjected to Bridget Jones Diary, Never Been Kissed, He's Just Not That Into you... etc etc etc Dry heaves. Stigma still sticks.

What the fucking fuck? I ask. Seriously, this is insanity, right? It has to be, but even my friends are telling me, "you're human, it's natural, it's a numbers game, you'll find him..." and suddenly a hermitage in Montana looks like the sweetest deal on the planet because all these people are fucking insane!!!! But wait, maybe I'm not the only person who feels that way? According to Bella DePaulo, I don't have to want to enter into a matrimonial state in order to fulfill myself. Furthermore, there's no guarantee that it'll give me everything that's promised to accompany it, so I should be wary of false promises of ecstasy. Furthermore, exclusive, tight coupling with expensive white weddings and tons of gifts is a total fad. Suddenly, it occurs to me that all these people who have been telling me that my career matters, that sitting around with yarn and books because it makes me happy is fine, that burning my social energy going on blind dates with internet trolls isn't necessary, are right. Not that I didn't believe them... just that I couldn't rule out the competing viewpoint.

What DePaulo adds to the voices of reason is a strong background in Social Science and a tight deconstruction of flimsy studies based on poorly interpreted statistics. She often has counter-arguments that are also based on good science. She also provides references to additional resources so you can dig deeper into this stuff. She also acknowledges where she's letting her personal bias of bitchy "Fuck off," attitude creep into her writing. Some people find this distracting; I did not.

DePaulo also says I am allowed to be pissed off by the fact that my boss assigned me to a project involving more travel because the other person who was available "has a family," even though he knew I was in the middle of training for competitive weight lifting. This really happened. Nevermind I'm not equally compensated, bear a tax penalty, and had to buy my own Cuisinart. Don't get me started on smug-married bullshit I'm supposed to be perfectly happy with (because I will get my turn to be bridezilla). Hm.... yeah. Bella tackles it all.

One thing I didn't particularly like was that she only briefly mentions the status of single fathers. She goes into detail about single parenting, but in this one area, she does not acknowledge her bias towards single mothers, and I think that's sad. I do think that had she adequately addressed the whole issue of single parenting, the book would've been another 100 pages long, at least.

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Jul 27, 2009 AJ rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: do-not-own, nonfiction, 2009

This book definitely hits home. As somebody with no plans to get married, even though I have been in (and am in currently) pretty serious long term relationships, and have also spent plenty of time single, I can relate to a lot of what is said in this book. It has always struck me as strange and somehow unfair that people who are married are seen as more legitimate and "grown up" than people who aren't married, whether they be single or in a serious long term non-married relationship.

Bella DePau...more

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Jan 31, 2009 Lisa rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, 2009

This more of a rant than critical/scientific criticism on the culture of marriage. The book attempts to debunk myths surrounding singlehood. It is a nice but flawed read. Except for the insight into the welfare system and the subtle discrimination which singles face, I don't think that this book is necessary.

DePaulo highlights the fact that marriage is deeply ingrained in our culture. I didn't need the book to tell me this; just about every magazine is obsessed with who's hitched up with whom....more

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Aug 13, 2007 lkt rated it 5 of 5 stars

"Don't worry, honey, your turn to divorce will come...."

DePaulo's book is brilliant, but it made me so angry. Angry at how many couples (from here on, "marrieds") stereotype, stigmatize, and ignore singles, of course! I already knew that marrieds feel sorry for singles because they're "incomplete," "lonely," and "unfulfilled." But not everyone wants the same thing, not everyone wants the conventional, predictable married life. I enjoy solitute tremendously, and marriage has never been my life...more "Don't worry, honey, your turn to divorce will come...."

DePaulo's book is brilliant, but it made me so angry. Angry at how many couples (from here on, "marrieds") stereotype, stigmatize, and ignore singles, of course! I already knew that marrieds feel sorry for singles because they're "incomplete," "lonely," and "unfulfilled." But not everyone wants the same thing, not everyone wants the conventional, predictable married life. I enjoy solitute tremendously, and marriage has never been my life goal. I'd rather focus on my career, which is more fulfilling than any relationship I've had. I also enjoy traveling on the weekends whenever I want, spending my money how I want, hanging out with single friends (fortunately I still have several of them). Most marrieds don't plan a weekend to go visit a good college friend (well, maybe they will if it's a couple and not merely a single person) and spend money "selfishly" on food, entertainment, and going to take photographs of old nuclear power plants or other unique trips. Does this mean I'm not grown up? no! It means I know what I like to do, so I do it. It's that simple. I feel like I have to put so much energy into defending my contented state, while marrieds are assumed to be content (although I know that isn't always the case, especially since marriage ends in divorce half the time).

I am almost 26 so it's still "acceptable" for me to be single, but people still ask why I don't have a boyfriend. "Don't you want to get married one day?" "Are you dating anyone?" "Don't you want to have children?" "You're attractive, why aren't you with anyone?" (there must be something wrong with you!) I used to feel inferior when asked those kinds of questions, especially in college when people were frantically getting engaged, much like a Baskin Robbins gets raided on the day they sell ice cream for 31 cents per scoop. Better get some before it runs out, ya know. But gradually, I became confident in my singleness by my junior year. This book really reinforced my feelings and it was as if DePaulo was reading my mind for most of it. Especially the chapter about why anybody should CARE if we're single of not? Get a life, marrieds..perhaps you should worry about decreasing your divorce rate instead...

I was especially disgusted with Chris Matthews' treatment of Nader. How dare he imply that because Nader did not consume as much as the marrieds (such as no house, no car), that he was less of a person, less responsible? He is really a thousand more times responsible than Newt Gingrich or Bill Clinton, who have made a mess of their marital relationships. Nader is responsible enough to never embarrass a wife (or any other woman, for that matter) on international television. HE never made a mockery of the all-important marriage as others have done. And he is environmentally responsible for not owning a car because, wow!, he doesn't need one, which makes perfect sense (although not to Matthews). Singles rarely get credit for their accomplishments. I admire him and politicians like Condi Rice all the more because of their singleness.

[excerpts from my review at Amazon.com](less)

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Jul 21, 2012 ellen rated it 5 of 5 stars

At first I thought this book was teetering on being a bit too angry. The author sounds pretty angry and resentful about the treatment married people get over singles. But the more I read the more it made sense and the more interested I became. It flips the idea that being married is the end all be all for people. And it makes it clear just how people find themselves in unhappy and unfulfilling relationship all the time. It happens because the myth is that if you aren't in a serious relationship...more

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Mar 26, 2013 Leigh Kramer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Fascinating book. I read this one for book research. A fair portrayal of the benefits of singleness, along with helpful critique of marriage and happiness studies. DePaulo doesn't spend much time discussing her own singleness and very little time addressing singles who would like to be married. That weakened some of her argument for me but I still recommend this to anyone interested in the topic.

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Jun 27, 2009 Becky rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Overall I really, really enjoyed this books. I have definitely felt and have been on the other end of some of the things she talks about. Not necessarily the huge, major things, but in small ways.

I loved that she addressed the myth of marriage, and how one human person cannot meet all your needs and fulfill all your hopes. I hoped that she would explain what does (The Lord!!!), but I am not sure that she comes from that world view, so I think I just have to accept her best efforts.

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Feb 18, 2010 Robert rated it 4 of 5 stars

People made comments about the angry tone of this book. I guess being perceived as pathetic, stupid and or incompotent because you don't want the same thing most people want should not make you angry. Of course, this general attitude of superiority on the part of married people tends to make one embrace a solitary lifestyle all the more.

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Aug 22, 2008 Jan rated it 4 of 5 stars

I expected to be annoyed with this book, anticipating a "poor me, look how hard my life is" rant. The Washington Post called it hilarious, which I would downgrade to witty. Each chapter left me more angry than amused as I learned of numerous quality-of-life structures in society that discriminate against single people. The financial advantage goes to the marrieds on issues of healthcare, insurance, salary, benefits, travel, restaurants, etc. I had previously been only vaguely aware that two-for-...more

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Jan 30, 2009 a. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It's an excellent sociological perspective about how single people are stigmatized in our society. Her definition of single spans "currently non-married" to "unable to be married" (aka non-hetero/monogamous relationships). It was a book I was excited to read and that I enjoyed reading. DePaulo manages to inject humor and wit in a text filled with compelling statistics (of which I will not bother with trying to relate to you without the book next to me). But basically, I recommend this book to my...more

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Oct 06, 2012 Sharla rated it 2 of 5 stars

I was interested in reading this book because I thought it would provide some interesting insights into being single ... but it was mostly about the stereotypes and the stigmas facing singles in the United States (we have it better in Canada) with very little of the "happily ever after." And where was the humour? The first page was funny but after that, 260 pages of whining about married people. Very disappointing.

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Mar 14, 2012 Erica rated it 3 of 5 stars

Interesting book, easy to skim and gather the main thrust of her argument. I am now exquisitely sensitized to the many ways that society stereotypes, stigmatizes and ignores me. Also, I am now aware that Bella DePaulo has an unexpectedly complicated relationship with the long defunct TV show "Judging Amy."

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Jul 20, 2011 Madonna Analla rated it 5 of 5 stars

this was a great book. I often feel stereotyped and stigmatized for being single in addition to not benefitting from many program that I pay taxes for because I don't have kids and i'm not at the poverty level. So it was great to read a book about my issues for a change

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Aug 02, 2009 Stefani Johnsen rated it 5 of 5 stars

You have to a person who like data and numbers. She is all facts no fluff. Thankyou Bella for pointing out the flaws in the studies. Definately a great read if you a single person and ever thought that you were treated differently, its not in your head it happens!!!

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Jan 07, 2010 Erin rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a great book for everyone, not just "singles." Because let's face it, at some point in our lives we all feel "single," whether we are married, in a relationship or single.
Is this considered self-help? I don't know. I'd call it empowering.

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About Bella DePaulo

Bella DePaulo (Ph.D., Harvard, 1979) is a social psychologist and the author of Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After and Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship. In Singled Out, and in her other work on people who are single, DePaulo has drawn from social science da...more

More about Bella DePaulo...

Books by Bella DePaulo

Friendsight: What Friends Know that Others Don't

Single With Attitude: Not Your Typical Take On Health And Happiness, Love And Money, Marriage And Friendship

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“The freedom to be single, to create a path through life that does not look like everyone else's, can be unsettling to people who feel more secure with fewer choices.” — 2 people liked it

“The other side of mental blanketing - the buffing and puffing up of marriage to keep it seeming shiny and magical - is up against a formidable fact. Statistically speaking, the act of marrying is banal. Even though many Americans wait longer than ever to marry, and often do not stay long in the marriages they do enter, most Americans - close to 90 percent - still do marry at some point in their lives. Some try it over and over again. Marrying, then, does not make people special; it makes them conventional.” — 1 person liked it

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title link	preview: Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After
avg rating	preview: Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever Afte Goodreads rating: 3.65 (168 ratings)
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/66086.Singled_Out?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1317065838l/66086.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/66086.Singled_Out?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo[/url]

Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After

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