The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book

by don Miguel Ruiz

book data

5,357 ratings, 4.01 average rating, 989 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		40%
4		30%
3		19%
2		6%
1		2%

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published

January 15th 2001 by Amber-Allen Publishing

binding

Hardcover, 168 pages

isbn

1878424505 (isbn13: 9781878424501)

description

Sit at the foot of a native elder and listen as great wisdom of days long past is passed down. In The Four Agreements shamanic teacher and healer Don ...more

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07/15/07

Marissa rated it:

(review of isbn 1878424319)

Read in July, 2007

recommends it for: people with an hour to kill; people who are limitlessly optimistic (or striving to be)

Thank you, this book, for making me realize what a cynical asshole I am. By being skeptical of people who appear to suck, I am apparently doing a disservice to myself and to the Creator. And by judging myself when I make mistakes, a.k.a. stressing out when I screw up at work and have to fix it under pain of losing my job, I'm only contributing to my outer dream of Hell on Earth. Actually, by writing this paragraph I have probably put a few more nails in my psychological coffin.

All jo...more Thank you, this book, for making me realize what a cynical asshole I am. By being skeptical of people who appear to suck, I am apparently doing a disservice to myself and to the Creator. And by judging myself when I make mistakes, a.k.a. stressing out when I screw up at work and have to fix it under pain of losing my job, I'm only contributing to my outer dream of Hell on Earth. Actually, by writing this paragraph I have probably put a few more nails in my psychological coffin.

All joking aside, this is a good little book for the cynicist in all of us (in? How about that is?). Parts of it made me angry because they seemed to stress forgiveness over all else -- and yeah, I know that's generally accepted wisdom and all, but sometimes people need more than forgiveness to move on from things in life, like forgiveness and then perpetual avoidance.

As a philosophy, the "four agreements" (be impeccable with your word, don't make assumptions, always do your best, and ... crap, I already forgot the fourth one) are a superbly idealistic way to approach everyday life, but ever the empiricist, I was disappointed that the author didn't give more concrete examples of how to apply them to various situations.

When you're listening to someone tell you how to live, you naturally want to counter with, "Well, what if [blank] happens and [so and so] says [blank]?" In that case, is being impeccable with my word mean I should tell that person that I am sorry he or she is such a pitiful waste of space and, oh, by the way, all your personal habits are annoying? I guess my idea of impeccable honesty may betray some of the other agreements I'm supposed to make with myself.

The best part of what the author is teaching here is that you should be unfazed by what people say, think, or do, be it positive or negative -- even when it's directed toward you. The thinking behind it is that people do and say things because of their own situations, not yours, so whenever they say something to or about you, it has nothing to do with you. If someone calls you fat, it's because they are insecure, no matter how much of a blimp you are. If someone says you are awesome, you don't need to cling to it like a desperate child because, in theory, you knew you were awesome already.

Plus, this takes no time to read. You could finish it in a commute or two and at least feel like you'd thought things over a little, if nothing else. And, granted, I had been having some insecurity issues surrounding my performance at work, and after reading the "Always Do Your Best" chapter on the bus Friday morning, I proceeded to have a pretty kick-ass day, so there is definitely irrefutable power in the simplicity presented therein.(less)

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09/17/07

Suzanne Vaughan rated it:

Read in September, 2007

recommends it for: People who want to live an authentic and happy life

This is my second time reading this book and I picked it up again because I felt I was compromising too much in my life and it was affecting my core. I have a chapter to go but here's the summary:

The book cites four agreements that, with practice, will lead you to a happier state of living, essentially and dramatically, lead you out of your living hell. The idea is focused 100% on you. You can only control yourself and only honor yourself.

1. Be impeccable with your word. ...more This is my second time reading this book and I picked it up again because I felt I was compromising too much in my life and it was affecting my core. I have a chapter to go but here's the summary:

The book cites four agreements that, with practice, will lead you to a happier state of living, essentially and dramatically, lead you out of your living hell. The idea is focused 100% on you. You can only control yourself and only honor yourself.

1. Be impeccable with your word. Your word is your power to create the events in your life. It can create positive events or destructive events. Impeccable means "without sin". So the idea here is that you use your word without sin against yourself. You take responsibility for your actions but you do not judge and blame yourself. There is a big difference. And as you practice your impeccable word don't you think the very actions which might have caused you to judge and blame yourself before will decrease and it will become easier to truly know the difference between taking responsibility and punishing yourself (over and over again).

2. Don't take anything personally. Don't take compliments or insults or anything in between personally. If you know who you are and are impeccable with your word (i.e.: being yourself, not going against yourself) then you will get better and better at not allowing others to shape how you feel about yourself. This particular chapter I struggle with because I personally like to build people up by showing them how I feel about them and what I think about who they are. It is a rare thing for me to tell someone something negative unless i am trying to be a friend to help them through something and they need to hear it. However, I will re-read this to try to gain more meaning and understanding out of it.

3. Don't make assumptions. This almost requires no comment. We do this ALL the time. I know I do. You hear someone explaining their situation and as they are you are summarizing it in your own words in your head, filling in blanks because you want to have the complete picture. Except it's not the complete picture because rather than ask questions to fill in the blanks, you used your own experience and assumptions to do so.

4. Always do your best so that you will not judge and punish yourself. Do things because you want to do them and do your best, not for some reward. Enjoy your life. Live it now. And your best may not be the same every day if you're sick, tired, or you've fallen victim to beating yourself up. Doing your best means doing your best with the previous 3 agreements also and it means you may not always live up to your desire to always honor them. But it's your best so don't judge yourself.(less)

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03/12/08

Mikaela rated it:

Read in February, 2006

recommends it for: everyone

I'd like to propose this book as required reading for the course, Life. Make four simple agreements with yourself and living becomes so much easier, so much lighter:

1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others s...more

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06/04/08

Jim Mitchell rated it:

(review of isbn 1878424319)

Read in July, 2003

recommended to Jim by: Friend
recommends it for: Everyone

I am currently reading this book, because it is a small book that when I finish page 129, I start over again on page 1. I have been reading it for about five years now, and I suspect I will continue reading it for as long as I can read. A few pages at a time is more than enough to give me something to kick around in my head for a few days.

The book could be tagged as a self-growth book, but that is too limiting. It is a book that challenges one to live up to four simple truths, and o...more

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07/24/07

Illyria rated it:

I know this little book is the type of cliché self-help item that makes its way to the impulse-purchase-friendly shelves by the registers at Barns and Nobel around Christmas time and subsequently gathers dust on bookshelves across the nation unread by recipients because they are not the "type of person who reads self-help books."

But please don't judge this book by it's section.

The writing is a bit choppy and the use of repetition can be annoying initially, but...more

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08/23/08

Polly Trout rated it:

Read in August, 2008

This is a sweet little book -- a few parts are overly naive or treacly, but on the whole it has good advice in a wholesome format. Ruiz claims this is ancient Toltec wisdom, a la Castaneda -- so check your scholarly skepticism at the door, because this is a very contemporary spiritual worldview filtered through dreamland and nostalgia for the "primitive" -- but frankly, that's a worldvuew I like so I'm not opposed to Ruiz promoting it with a bit of anthropological sleight of hand.
...more

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06/17/08

Debs rated it:

bookshelves: 2008, borrowed, nonfiction, philosophy, recommended, self-growth

Read in June, 2008

recommended to Debs by: Nella

There is plenty of soul searching and self examination that goes along with this one, due to, I believe, a point made in the first chapter. It is the idea that we agree with and therefore integrate beliefs into ourselves because we are too young to successfully rebel against them. Because they are engrained in us so strongly, they become our own personal "Book of Law" which may feel safe, but at the same time is our undoing because we can never live up to the perfection of those beli...more There is plenty of soul searching and self examination that goes along with this one, due to, I believe, a point made in the first chapter. It is the idea that we agree with and therefore integrate beliefs into ourselves because we are too young to successfully rebel against them. Because they are engrained in us so strongly, they become our own personal "Book of Law" which may feel safe, but at the same time is our undoing because we can never live up to the perfection of those beliefs.

Although I think it's fairly obvious that many of these beliefs are not constructive, it is hard to break free of them because they are a part of us, especially when it would mean coming around to a new way of thinking and being. So here I am, writing the review, but also rereading for the third time in a few days in an attempt to habituate my mind to some of these ideas, in the hopes that I may implement them, because I do believe they will lead to greater simplicity, and therefore clarity.

The Four Agreements are:
1) Be Impeccable With Your Word: Word here is literal, and also refers to any form of expression. The idea is that you say only what you mean and use your power toward the positive. Do not be negative toward yourself, or to others (it will in turn come back to you).

2) Don't Take Anything Personally: We tend to place great emphasis on self-importance, but people act in a certain way because of themselves, not because of you. Realizing this will help you be immune to the negativity of others.

3) Don't Make Assumptions: We get upset at people because "they should have known," but no one really knows what you are thinking. Simply by communicating about your wants and needs we can avoid unnecessary drama, disappointment and heartache.

4) Always Try Your Best: It may vary from day to day, but knowing that you've done your best, whatever the circumstances will help you avoid self-judgement and self-abuse.

Now for the book itself. It's a small book and there is quite a lot of repetition, both good things for the reason stated above. It also smells really good (yes, I judge a book by its smell sometimes). The only reason I'm not giving it five stars is because the religious aspect and the prayers at the end really irritated me; I think the Four Agreements could have stood perfectly on their own without it.

All in all, this is an absolutely wonderful book, and a real eye opener. Much more than a typical self-help book, and a book that I recommend to everyone who wants to become more aware of themselves and their surroundings, and find a new viewpoint that will lead to a happier, kinder life.
(less)

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06/02/08

Yuki rated it:

(review of isbn 1878424319)

Read in June, 2008

recommends it for: anyone seeking clarity, inspiration

"Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering." The Toltec wisdom of this book is commonsense which we all have heard, but do not always believe and apply every moment. As I read each section, specific relationships (of mine or others) came vividly to mind, esp. "negative" or "toxic" people I have had to walk away from; and the ones we can't leave (family) but can learn not to blame for their sickness. It's a very quick read, and I plan to re-read it in different stag...more

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06/12/07

Jackye Chan rated it:

(review of isbn 1878424319)

bookshelves: motivational, self-help

Read in September, 2007

recommends it for: those fighting against themselves.

Ruiz used to be a surgeon, until he fell asleep at the wheel one night and crashed into a wall. He recalls being outside of his physical body pulling two people from the wreckage. The near-death experience woke Ruiz to the teachings of his people, The Totecs, and thus renewed his original commitment to learn the Four Agreements.

This book spoke to me on a universal level because its principles are in harmony with the methodology of many other transformational techniques, and most impo...more

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07/19/07

Renee rated it:

Read in July, 2007

Positives:
-It's good to be reminded not to assume why people treat you a certain way. It is often not personal.
-I liked the thought that if you shouldn't take negative comments personally, you also shouldn't take positive comments personally. Trying to believe one side and not the other is contradictory, and our views of ourselves should be maintained on our own.
Negatives:
-I felt there was a lot of filler fluff and repitition.
-The author tried to simplify religi...more

Like this review? yes (1 person liked it)

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01/06/08

Claudia rated it:

(review of isbn 1878424319)

Read in January, 2008

This quick read was interesting in that I gained a new perspective on how others view the world. The book itself is quite simply written and very repetitive, and although brief, could have been about 1/8 the length to get the main points across. There are definitely some good takeaways that we should all apply to our lives. I always struggle with individualistic worldviews, even if the goal is to love others, so that might have been difficult for me to get past. Additionally, the book was sp...more

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10/22/07

Jamie F rated it:

Read in October, 2007

I liked the concept of the four agreements. All good things to live by: Be impeccable with your words, Do not take anything personally, Do not make assumptions, and Do your best. With that said, I do not think this book was anything earth shattering. Instead of saying you are in control of your own life with your thoughts, he substituted the word dream for life. I think this was a lot of the same stuff over again...manifest destiny...you reap what you sow....if you believe you are great, yo...more

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05/07/08

Anita rated it:

Read in May, 2008

New age psycho babble that nearly had me giving up, but it was so short I persevered. The middle part was good how to change your life with the four agreements: speak impeccably, don't take things personally, do your best and some live each moment or something. Good stuff, but not ground breaking or earth shattering. We know all this stuff, but it is nice to be reminded and hopefully inspired to do better. Unfortunately it ended with more new age stuff. It's sort of a sandwich and just like an...more

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06/18/08

Jess rated it:

Read in July, 2007

recommended to Jess by: My mom

The Four Agreements is an inspiring text that describes the ways in which human beings can live, love and enjoy life in its entirety. Through the compassion, understanding, respect and forgiveness that we impose on ourselves, we are able to reach a deeper understanding and acceptance for the people in our lives and how we treat them. I thought that this book was very encouraging and for those who are continually searching to be better human beings should share in the advice that Don Miguel Ruiz...more

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01/14/09

Diane rated it:

(review of isbn 1878424319)

bookshelves: non-fiction

Read in January, 2009

The Four Agreements, based on ancient Toltec wisdom, is a powerful little book aimed at self-improvement and self-discovery. Don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering.

These agreements are pretty simplistic:

* Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of ...more

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04/25/09

Brad rated it:

Read in April, 2009

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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01/03/09

Laurie rated it:

Read in January, 2008

Ruiz has come up with four principles from ancient Toltec wisdom. If one adopts these four agreements, Ruiz argues, they will help bring a sense of peace and happiness to one's life. Generally the agreements sound reasonable enough: don't take things personally, say only good things about others, etc. So far, so good. But there's some serious theoretical problems that underlie Ruiz's plan. Ruiz seems to suggest that the self can determine the majority of one's experience outside of social contex...more

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01/10/09

Kimberly rated it:

Read in January, 2003

I love this book! Its concepts are simple, yet so powerful when consciously applying them to your life. As I am easily forgetful, I love that it is such a quick read to go back to from time-to-time for a refresher.

1. Be impeccable with your word.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.

2. Don’t take anything personally.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do i...more

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03/04/08

Becky rated it:

Read in February, 2008

Yeah, didn't love it. There were a lot of over-generalizations without much practical application. There were a few interesting things in it that I liked. To be fair, I actually really liked each of the four agreements he presents, I just disagree with his interpretation of what living those means. All in all, I thought it was worth the hour and a half it took to read, but had it taken much longer I probably would have wanted the time back.

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11/21/08

Lou rated it:

bookshelves: self-improvement

Read in November, 2008

recommends it for: Everyone

I like this book a great deal. At the risk of fulfilling a prophecy of the book, let me first make a disclaimer or two.

1. It is not the end-all solution to all the world's problems.
2. The presentation of the first few pages is a bit off-putting to those who are realists such as myself.

Having said that, however, it's easy to read past the "uncomfortable" bits and glean some very good, very helpful and best of all, very motivational thoughts. The book "...more

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quotes from this book

""God is life. God is life in action. The best way to say, "I love you, God," is to live your life doing your best. The best way to say, "Thank you, God," is by letting go of the past and living in the present moment, right here and now. Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now."" More quotes...