The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

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The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

4.02 of 5 stars 4.02 · rating details · 45,749 ratings · 2,832 reviews

In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. The Four Agreements are: Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't...more

Hardcover, 168 pages

Published September 14th 2001 by Amber-Allen Publishing (first published November 7th 1997)

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May 13, 2013 Jim Mitchell rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone

Recommended to Jim by: Friend

I am reading this book, and even though it is a small book, when I finish page 129, I start over again on page 1. I have been reading it for about ~~five years~~ fifteen years now, and I suspect I will continue reading it for as long as I can read. A few pages at a time is more than enough to give me something to kick around in my head for a few days.

The book could be tagged as a self-growth book, but that is too limiting. It is a book that challenges one to live up to four simple truths, and offer...more

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Jul 15, 2007 M rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: people with an hour to kill; people who are limitlessly optimistic (or striving to be)

Thank you, this book, for making me realize what a cynical asshole I am. By being skeptical of people who appear to suck, I am apparently doing a disservice to myself and to the Creator. And by judging myself when I make mistakes, a.k.a. stressing out when I screw up at work and have to fix it under pain of losing my job, I'm only contributing to my outer dream of Hell on Earth. Actually, by writing this paragraph I have probably put a few more nails in my psychological coffin.

All joking aside,...more Thank you, this book, for making me realize what a cynical asshole I am. By being skeptical of people who appear to suck, I am apparently doing a disservice to myself and to the Creator. And by judging myself when I make mistakes, a.k.a. stressing out when I screw up at work and have to fix it under pain of losing my job, I'm only contributing to my outer dream of Hell on Earth. Actually, by writing this paragraph I have probably put a few more nails in my psychological coffin.

All joking aside, this is a good little book for the cynicist in all of us (in? How about that is?). Parts of it made me angry because they seemed to stress forgiveness over all else -- and yeah, I know that's generally accepted wisdom and all, but sometimes people need more than forgiveness to move on from things in life, like forgiveness and then perpetual avoidance.

As a philosophy, the "four agreements" (be impeccable with your word, don't make assumptions, always do your best, and ... crap, I already forgot the fourth one) are a superbly idealistic way to approach everyday life, but ever the empiricist, I was disappointed that the author didn't give more concrete examples of how to apply them to various situations.

When you're listening to someone tell you how to live, you naturally want to counter with, "Well, what if [blank] happens and [so and so] says [blank]?" In that case, is being impeccable with my word mean I should tell that person that I am sorry he or she is such a pitiful waste of space and, oh, by the way, all your personal habits are annoying? I guess my idea of impeccable honesty may betray some of the other agreements I'm supposed to make with myself.

The best part of what the author is teaching here is that you should be unfazed by what people say, think, or do, be it positive or negative -- even when it's directed toward you. The thinking behind it is that people do and say things because of their own situations, not yours, so whenever they say something to or about you, it has nothing to do with you. If someone calls you fat, it's because they are insecure, no matter how much of a blimp you are. If someone says you are awesome, you don't need to cling to it like a desperate child because, in theory, you knew you were awesome already.

Plus, this takes no time to read. You could finish it in a commute or two and at least feel like you'd thought things over a little, if nothing else. And, granted, I had been having some insecurity issues surrounding my performance at work, and after reading the "Always Do Your Best" chapter on the bus Friday morning, I proceeded to have a pretty kick-ass day, so there is definitely irrefutable power in the simplicity presented therein.(less)

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Sep 17, 2007 Suz rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: People who want to live an authentic and happy life

This is my second time reading this book and I picked it up again because I felt I was compromising too much in my life and it was affecting my core. I have a chapter to go but here's the summary:

The book cites four agreements that, with practice, will lead you to a happier state of living, essentially and dramatically, lead you out of your living hell. The idea is focused 100% on you. You can only control yourself and only honor yourself.

1. Be impeccable with your word. Your word is your power...more This is my second time reading this book and I picked it up again because I felt I was compromising too much in my life and it was affecting my core. I have a chapter to go but here's the summary:

The book cites four agreements that, with practice, will lead you to a happier state of living, essentially and dramatically, lead you out of your living hell. The idea is focused 100% on you. You can only control yourself and only honor yourself.

1. Be impeccable with your word. Your word is your power to create the events in your life. It can create positive events or destructive events. Impeccable means "without sin". So the idea here is that you use your word without sin against yourself. You take responsibility for your actions but you do not judge and blame yourself. There is a big difference. And as you practice your impeccable word don't you think the very actions which might have caused you to judge and blame yourself before will decrease and it will become easier to truly know the difference between taking responsibility and punishing yourself (over and over again).

2. Don't take anything personally. Don't take compliments or insults or anything in between personally. If you know who you are and are impeccable with your word (i.e.: being yourself, not going against yourself) then you will get better and better at not allowing others to shape how you feel about yourself. This particular chapter I struggle with because I personally like to build people up by showing them how I feel about them and what I think about who they are. It is a rare thing for me to tell someone something negative unless i am trying to be a friend to help them through something and they need to hear it. However, I will re-read this to try to gain more meaning and understanding out of it.

3. Don't make assumptions. This almost requires no comment. We do this ALL the time. I know I do. You hear someone explaining their situation and as they are you are summarizing it in your own words in your head, filling in blanks because you want to have the complete picture. Except it's not the complete picture because rather than ask questions to fill in the blanks, you used your own experience and assumptions to do so.

4. Always do your best so that you will not judge and punish yourself. Do things because you want to do them and do your best, not for some reward. Enjoy your life. Live it now. And your best may not be the same every day if you're sick, tired, or you've fallen victim to beating yourself up. Doing your best means doing your best with the previous 3 agreements also and it means you may not always live up to your desire to always honor them. But it's your best so don't judge yourself.(less)

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Jun 03, 2008 Yuki rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: anyone seeking clarity, inspiration

"Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering." The Toltec wisdom of this book is commonsense which we all have heard, but do not always believe and apply every moment. As I read each section, specific relationships (of mine or others) came vividly to mind, esp. "negative" or "toxic" people I have had to walk away from; and the ones we can't leave (family) but can learn not to blame for their sickness. It's a very quick read, and I plan to re-read it in different stages. I think I will get somethi...more

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Jun 02, 2011 Chris rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2011

I never thought I would fall for a book by someone who would allow this picture of himself to adorn the back cover:

I can't explain it. I'm not one to be floored by silly, little self-help books full of spirituality and cliches and horrible stories and simple advice. But I was. This book might just change my life.

I'll hand the rest of this review over to David Foster Wallace:

"It seems to me that the intellectualization and aestheticizing of principles and values in this country is one of the thin...more

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Mar 12, 2008 Mikaela rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: everyone

I'd like to propose this book as required reading for the course, Life. Make four simple agreements with yourself and living becomes so much easier, so much lighter:

1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own...more

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Oct 02, 2007 Jackye rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: those fighting against themselves.

Shelves: motivational, self-help

Ruiz used to be a surgeon, until he fell asleep at the wheel one night and crashed into a wall. He recalls being outside of his physical body pulling two people from the wreckage. The near-death experience woke Ruiz to the teachings of his people, The Totecs, and thus renewed his original commitment to learn the Four Agreements.

This book spoke to me on a universal level because its principles are in harmony with the methodology of many other transformational techniques, and most importantly, wit...more

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Feb 09, 2013 Chrystal rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: my-book-club, self-help-psychology

This book is very similar to a lot of other New Age/Self-Help books I've read. They always have some great advice and simple truths that are often overlooked or that we can all improve and practice. The mystical language and storytelling style of this book is entertaining and it is a quick read. I feel he touches on some universal truths that I have given a lot of thought (i.e. being mindful, being honest and loving in language, and realizing everyone is more consumed with their own 'stuff' so w...more This book is very similar to a lot of other New Age/Self-Help books I've read. They always have some great advice and simple truths that are often overlooked or that we can all improve and practice. The mystical language and storytelling style of this book is entertaining and it is a quick read. I feel he touches on some universal truths that I have given a lot of thought (i.e. being mindful, being honest and loving in language, and realizing everyone is more consumed with their own 'stuff' so we can't really take things personally).

I will usually only give these sorts of books 3 stars because for me personally, they are missing the full answer to personal growth and freedom - Jesus Christ. These books try to separate themselves from religion but basically share the fundamental messages of most spiritual and religious leaders in history. Following these practices are definitely powerful and it would improve our lives and world if everyone were to practice them. Yet, I personally don't believe they hold all truth, nor do I agree with every piece of each theory. I feel the points of a theory that are applicable are often good, but when it makes too broad of generalizations (i.e. 'we're living in hell' or 'the Book of Law is wrong') then it can be dangerous because it can be used to justify forgetting God or following relativism, or denying the reality of our need for Christ.

I agree that each of us do create our own personal hell with self-abusive thoughts, as well as each of us carrying beliefs we picked up in life that do not serve us - this is true. I have just seen people take these theories to extreme and they lost some of the light in their lives that they once had.

One other criticism I have of books like this is that they write like the message is new, or a panacea and make it sound if by switching on the light of this new info., they can revolutionize the world or your life. But most of us have heard it all before put in a different way and we also already try to do what the 'new' thing is already! It's not as easy as flipping on a switch and I wish authors would quit writing as if they were giving people some sort of magic...because they aren't. If they said, 'this is a reminder of things you know but maybe forgot,' I'd be less critical. But, I guess they have to do what sells books and the 'hook' is that it is somehow new, or it was old and lost and now it's found again etc. OK, rant over. :-D

My favorite idea in this book was the mitote. I really see that in effect and the explanation was great.

So yes, I hope to follow the 'Four Agreements' better in my own life and would encourage others to do the same. I look forward to our book club discussion of this book.(less)

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Jul 24, 2007 Illyria rated it 5 of 5 stars

I know this little book is the type of cliché self-help item that makes its way to the impulse-purchase-friendly shelves by the registers at Barns and Nobel around Christmas time and subsequently gathers dust on bookshelves across the nation unread by recipients because they are not the "type of person who reads self-help books."

But please don't judge this book by it's section.

The writing is a bit choppy and the use of repetition can be annoying initially, but the message is completely worth it...more

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Jul 23, 2007 Renee rated it 2 of 5 stars

Positives:
-It's good to be reminded not to assume why people treat you a certain way. It is often not personal.
-I liked the thought that if you shouldn't take negative comments personally, you also shouldn't take positive comments personally. Trying to believe one side and not the other is contradictory, and our views of ourselves should be maintained on our own.
Negatives:
-I felt there was a lot of filler fluff and repitition.
-The author tried to simplify religion to a point where it didn't...more

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Jul 22, 2012 Carrie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

I was given this book as a Birthday present from my little brother. He said its teachings can be life changing. I ENJOYED it a lot!!! As with any self help type of book you gotta "take some" and "leave some" if you know what I mean? For me this was a definite TAKE way more than leave. My brother and I have similar personalities and I can see very much why he gave...more

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Jan 31, 2013 Diana rated it 2 of 5 stars

OK. So. I liked several parts of this book very much. I love that happiness is a choice. I especially appreciated reading about the third agreement: Don't Make Assumptions because communication is something I can always work on. I loved the parts about accepting and loving yourself and others. There is some amazing advise in this little book and I can see how it can be life changing for many people.

But.

I'm going to be honest and admit that Ruiz almost lost me at "Everything is God" in the introd...more

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Jan 20, 2013 Tammy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Tammy by: Julie, Robyn L

Shelves: self-help

I have mixed feelings about this book. I thought there were some good messages spread throughout it but I had such a hard time getting past the author's writing style.

To me, it seemed like a lot of short sentences using similar words. For example, it starts, "What you are seeing and hearing right now is nothing but a dream. You are dreaming right now in this moment. You are dreaming with the brain awake. Dreaming is the main function of the mind, and the mind dreams 24-hours a day. It dreams wh...more

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Mar 09, 2010 Brian rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I came upon this book after reading an article in the Rolling Stone about Jeff Bridges. I liked the way he referenced it in relation to his life. I'm normally not one who can stomach much of things that are categorized under New Age (violation of Agreement #3: Don't make assumptions), but I found a few things here that were very helpful in thinking about problems my 23 year old son is facing and problems that I am facing in my own life. The crux of this book are the four "agreements" that you ma...more

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Jun 27, 2010 Jessica rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: rr-book-group

I was surprised. I thought I would really like this book. A friend of mine told me the basic ideas were to be impeccable with your word, don't take things personally, don't make assumptions,and always do your best. To me, these sounded great: be honest, be forgiving, give others a chance to say what they think and try your best...or so I thought!

The ideas were actually more along the lines of: don't send out poisonous words that put spells on people, don't let others poison you with their spells...more

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Aug 23, 2008 Polly Trout rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a sweet little book -- a few parts are overly naive or treacly, but on the whole it has good advice in a wholesome format. Ruiz claims this is ancient Toltec wisdom, a la Castaneda -- so check your scholarly skepticism at the door, because this is a very contemporary spiritual worldview filtered through dreamland and nostalgia for the "primitive" -- but frankly, that's a worldvuew I like so I'm not opposed to Ruiz promoting it with a bit of anthropological sleight of hand.

Ruiz starts wit...more

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Jun 23, 2008 Debs rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Debs by: Nella

Shelves: 2008, self-growth, nonfiction, philosophy, borrowed, recommended

There is plenty of soul searching and self examination that goes along with this one, due to, I believe, a point made in the first chapter. It is the idea that we agree with and therefore integrate beliefs into ourselves because we are too young to successfully rebel against them. Because they are engrained in us so strongly, they become our own personal "Book of Law" which may feel safe, but at the same time is our undoing because we can never live up to the perfection of those beliefs.

Although...more There is plenty of soul searching and self examination that goes along with this one, due to, I believe, a point made in the first chapter. It is the idea that we agree with and therefore integrate beliefs into ourselves because we are too young to successfully rebel against them. Because they are engrained in us so strongly, they become our own personal "Book of Law" which may feel safe, but at the same time is our undoing because we can never live up to the perfection of those beliefs.

Although I think it's fairly obvious that many of these beliefs are not constructive, it is hard to break free of them because they are a part of us, especially when it would mean coming around to a new way of thinking and being. So here I am, writing the review, but also rereading for the third time in a few days in an attempt to habituate my mind to some of these ideas, in the hopes that I may implement them, because I do believe they will lead to greater simplicity, and therefore clarity.

The Four Agreements are:
1) Be Impeccable With Your Word: Word here is literal, and also refers to any form of expression. The idea is that you say only what you mean and use your power toward the positive. Do not be negative toward yourself, or to others (it will in turn come back to you).

2) Don't Take Anything Personally: We tend to place great emphasis on self-importance, but people act in a certain way because of themselves, not because of you. Realizing this will help you be immune to the negativity of others.

3) Don't Make Assumptions: We get upset at people because "they should have known," but no one really knows what you are thinking. Simply by communicating about your wants and needs we can avoid unnecessary drama, disappointment and heartache.

4) Always Try Your Best: It may vary from day to day, but knowing that you've done your best, whatever the circumstances will help you avoid self-judgement and self-abuse.

Now for the book itself. It's a small book and there is quite a lot of repetition, both good things for the reason stated above. It also smells really good (yes, I judge a book by its smell sometimes). The only reason I'm not giving it five stars is because the religious aspect and the prayers at the end really irritated me; I think the Four Agreements could have stood perfectly on their own without it.

All in all, this is an absolutely wonderful book, and a real eye opener. Much more than a typical self-help book, and a book that I recommend to everyone who wants to become more aware of themselves and their surroundings, and find a new viewpoint that will lead to a happier, kinder life.
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Jun 12, 2012 Azar Hoseininejad rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

هیچ کدام از کارهایی که دیگران می کنند به خاطر شما نیست. به خاطر خودشان است. همه ی مردم در رویا و در ذهن خود زندگی می کنند. آنان در دنیایی کاملا متفاوت با دنیای ما زندگی می کنند. ما وقتی چیزی را به خود می گیریم، فرض می کنیم که آن ها می دانند در دنیای ما چه می گذرد، و می کوشیم دنیای خود را به دنیای آنها تحمیل کنیم.

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Jan 06, 2008 Claudia rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This quick read was interesting in that I gained a new perspective on how others view the world. The book itself is quite simply written and very repetitive, and although brief, could have been about 1/8 the length to get the main points across. There are definitely some good takeaways that we should all apply to our lives. I always struggle with individualistic worldviews, even if the goal is to love others, so that might have been difficult for me to get past. Additionally, the book was sprink...more

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Mar 20, 2012 Jeanny rated it 2 of 5 stars

I like the four agreements themselves, the material on domestication, and some of the material on putting the four agreements into practice. I did not respond well to the "ancient Toltec wisdom" piece, which felt like a contrivance to somehow add authority to the concepts.

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Oct 30, 2007 Jamie F rated it 2 of 5 stars

I liked the concept of the four agreements. All good things to live by: Be impeccable with your words, Do not take anything personally, Do not make assumptions, and Do your best. With that said, I do not think this book was anything earth shattering. Instead of saying you are in control of your own life with your thoughts, he substituted the word dream for life. I think this was a lot of the same stuff over again...manifest destiny...you reap what you sow....if you believe you are great, you are...more

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May 09, 2008 Anita rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction-read

New age psycho babble that nearly had me giving up, but it was so short I persevered. The middle part was good how to change your life with the four agreements: speak impeccably, don't take things personally, do your best and some live each moment or something. Good stuff, but not ground breaking or earth shattering. We know all this stuff, but it is nice to be reminded and hopefully inspired to do better. Unfortunately it ended with more new age stuff. It's sort of a sandwich and just like an O...more

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Jan 20, 2012 Sean rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2010, 20th-century, non-fiction

A few good but obvious tips for living better and thats about it.

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Jun 18, 2008 Jess rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Jess by: My mom

The Four Agreements is an inspiring text that describes the ways in which human beings can live, love and enjoy life in its entirety. Through the compassion, understanding, respect and forgiveness that we impose on ourselves, we are able to reach a deeper understanding and acceptance for the people in our lives and how we treat them. I thought that this book was very encouraging and for those who are continually searching to be better human beings should share in the advice that Don Miguel Ruiz...more

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Apr 14, 2013 Dave rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction-read

I had a hard time liking and listening to this book at first. It has a new age feeling to it, in my perception, which puts me off because I lean toward rationalism. OTOH I felt many of the ideas put forth by the author resonated with works from positive psychology as well as from Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism and Christianity. It may in fact have some roots in Toltec and other Native American cultures, but I'm not sufficiently versed in Toltec history and mythology to judge the validity of that conn...more

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Apr 14, 2013 Jonathan rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013, life-curriculum

Honestly, I didn't love this book, but some of the principles it teaches are so potentially life changing that I had to give it four stars.

One important note: I read this in Spanish; consequently, some loss in translation may have occurred.

The book begins by explaining that our life is a dream made up of all the agreements we've made. Many of our agreements are lies born of fear and negativity and those consume a lot of our personal, productive energy. Love-based agreements preserve our energy.

T...more Honestly, I didn't love this book, but some of the principles it teaches are so potentially life changing that I had to give it four stars.

One important note: I read this in Spanish; consequently, some loss in translation may have occurred.

The book begins by explaining that our life is a dream made up of all the agreements we've made. Many of our agreements are lies born of fear and negativity and those consume a lot of our personal, productive energy. Love-based agreements preserve our energy.

There are four agreements which if adopted will aid us in breaking negative agreements and will allow us to use our personal power to rewrite our dream into heaven on earth.

The first agreement is to be impeccable with our words. Impeccable means without sin. Examples of sinful use of words are: negative self talk, gossiping, lying, carelessness with words, etc. Ruiz reminds us that words have power and must be used carefully and accurately. We should never hurt ourselves or others with our words, instead we ought to focus on using our words toward truth and love.

The second agreement is to not take anything personally. Anything said and done by another person reflects that person's "reality", not yours, unless you allow it to become part of your way of thinking. What I liked about this explanation is that it invited me to consider what influences people who make offensive remarks. Maybe they have some emotional baggage that is causing hurt in their life. It makes it easier to have grace toward others.

The third agreement is to never make assumptions. Ruiz makes no direct mention of assumptions making asses of u and me. He does explain that assuming creates a false reality, invites problems in relationships, and creates negative emotions. We assume because we fear asking for clarification or we think others ought to know what we want or think. How much better off would we be if we simply asked for clarification.

The fourth agreement is to always do the best we can. Action leads to fulfillment and happiness. Inaction is an attempt to avoid fear or risk. When we do our best we are content because we don't feel guilt or shame. It's about progress, not perfection. One day our best is different than the next day, but we can only be our true self is we're giving all we've got in that moment, otherwise we're hiding or avoiding part of who God intended us to be.

There is a lot of wisdom in these agreements. It is difficult to master them, but liberating if we do.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to find more happiness and peace in their life, especially those with low self-esteem.(less)

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Apr 04, 2013 Barbara rated it 1 of 5 stars

A short book, but still much too many words. By page 25, I was just leafing through. The whole book was summarized on the inside front cover:
The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable With your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, th...more

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Jan 02, 2013 Della S.white rated it 5 of 5 stars

“The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted,” writes author Don Miguel Ruiz. And that is why books like these are so important and refreshing!

I have read a number of Buddhist books in my lifetime and The Four Agreements is very much like all of them in its simple philosophy of Right Living.

“We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way w...more “The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted,” writes author Don Miguel Ruiz. And that is why books like these are so important and refreshing!

I have read a number of Buddhist books in my lifetime and The Four Agreements is very much like all of them in its simple philosophy of Right Living.

“We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumptions that humans can make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works.”

The ideas are extremely simple, but incredibly profound and sensible. It's a practical guide to communicating with yourself like a child. The Four Agreements are these: 1. Be Impeccable with your Word, 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally, 3. Don’t Make Assumptions, and 4. Always Do Your Best. This coupled with mindful breathing and loving prayers, one can become a Spiritual Warrior in the Toltec tradition.

These kinds of books are important for reminding us that we are all very much alike in our programming, that we can find personal happiness by lifting our personal fears long enough to see them for what they are, and that we deserve to feel the miracle of heaven around us. This world can be either "good" or "bad" or neither through the prism of our own eyes, and regardless of our programming, that lens is focused by our power of personal choice. The Four Agreements isn't just a meaningful reminder that we can be happy; it's also an extremely condensed read that can be absorbed in a day. It makes the possibility of reading it over and over again probable.

“We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.”

One of many incredible insights into a magical guide towards self-love.
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Nov 13, 2012 Lydia Lee rated it 5 of 5 stars

“The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted,” writes author Don Miguel Ruiz. And that is why books like these are so important and refreshing!

I have read a number of Buddhist books in my life and The Four Agreements is very much like all of them in its simple philosophy of Right Living.

“We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we ab...more “The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted,” writes author Don Miguel Ruiz. And that is why books like these are so important and refreshing!

I have read a number of Buddhist books in my life and The Four Agreements is very much like all of them in its simple philosophy of Right Living.

“We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumptions that humans can make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works.”

The ideas are extremely simple, but incredibly profound and sensical. It's a practical guide to communicating with yourself like a child. The Four Agreements are these: 1. Be Impeccable with your Word, 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally, 3. Don’t Make Assumptions, and 4. Always Do Your Best. This coupled with mindful breathing and loving prayers, one can become a Spiritual Warrior in the Toltec tradition.

These kinds of books are important for reminding us that we are all very much alike in our programming, that we can find personal happiness by lifting our personal fears long enough to see them for what they are, and that we deserve to feel the miracle of heaven around us. This world can be either "good" or "bad" or neither through the prism of our own eyes, and regardless of our programming, that lens is focused by our power of personal choice. The Four Agreements isn't just a meaningful reminder that we can be happy, it's also an extremely condensed read that can be absorbed in a day. It makes the possibility of reading it over and over again probable.

“We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.”

One of many incredible insights into a magical guide towards self-love.(less)

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Sep 20, 2012 Lissa Albert rated it 5 of 5 stars

Not a day goes by that I do not live by these four agreements. It was recommended to me about 9 years ago, and from the minute I opened its covers I knew Don Miguel was going to help me change my life. I have used the agreements to illustrate situations of all kinds, from familial relationships to my son's hockey tryouts. The toughest one, still, for me is Agreement #2: Don't Take Things Personally. I still do. Less than before, but it's still a tough one to master. However, every day I invoke a...more

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About Don Miguel Ruiz

Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers, and raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and a nagual (shaman) grandfather. The family anticipated that Miguel would embrace their centuries-old legacy of healing and teaching, and carry forward the esoteric Toltec knowledge. Instead, distracted by modern life, Miguel chose to attend medical school and become a surgeon. A near-dea...more

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Books by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship --Toltec Wisdom Book

The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace

The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery

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“The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best. ” — 357 people liked it

“Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” — 328 people liked it

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