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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws
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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws

3.21  ·  Rating Details ·  52 Ratings  ·  16 Reviews

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.

When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-
Kindle Edition, 288 pages
Published (first published June 24th 2009)
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Jul 27, 2009 Lisa rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
ehhh... some useful suggestions, I think, but uninspired writing at best and I have to confess, if you're going to use anecdotal case studies, I kinda like to know how one or two of them ended up...
Nov 24, 2009 JaNae rated it liked it
Picked this up from a display shelf at the library 'cause it caught my eye...I thought "all the answers"...hurray!!!

I think I've already figured out a lot of what she was saying but it was very interesting to see the studies done...nice to know that it's not just me or my family (or in-laws) that act this way! Can't say I found a lot of solutions in the book but I think the purpose was perhaps just recognizing where feelings and issues come from.

One thing that I know I've been surprised to find
Jul 12, 2012 Katie rated it it was ok
This book addresses in-law contention with a focus on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law contention. I would recommend this to someone who is not yet married or who has only minor contention with in-laws. For me, it was not very practical and it seems the majority of the advice was appeasement-focused. The other downside was that it read like a dissertation-turned-seminar-lecture (like reading a professor's PowerPoint), which was terribly distracting and unengaging. I should have seen this coming whe ...more
Maureen Jackson
Jun 14, 2011 Maureen Jackson rated it really liked it
I picked it up because the title is something I have wondered to myself. While I enjoyed the case studies and the feeling that, wow, some people have it waaay worse than I do, I was disappointed in the lack of follow through.

Did the strategies presented in the book work for anyone? How is it possible to broach this subject without causing hard feelings?

As I read the book I found I wanted less an answer to the question of the title and more tried and true strategies for coping with the answers y
Jan 29, 2017 Nicole rated it liked it
Discussed in-law issues in depth, all in all it felt like an exploration of issues with self help as a secondary. Each section ends with strategies and suggestions though. It was actually a little stressful to read because of how much rang true for me. Definitely found it helpful in terms of learning to appreciate different perspectives and understand the complexity of in-law relationships better.
Jun 20, 2016 Eve rated it liked it
This was a well researched, well-thought out examination of the universal in-law problem(s) - from all sides, from all aspects. It has given me perspective that I should have had when I first got married. Better late than never, I suppose. At least I learned that I am not alone, and that it is a difficult task blending families and/or expanding them to include in-laws from both sides. Well worth reading.
Jul 25, 2009 Christina rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, borrowed
This book is a thought-provoking exploration of common in-law issues. Apter encourages readers to consider why an in-law might be behaving in a certain manner, and how understanding the other's perspective is the first step to collaborating towards a solution. I liked that Apter did not let the blood relative off the hook (usually the husband in her examples), and focused on the triangular nature of most in-law problems.
Sarah (sarahelisabethm)
Jun 16, 2012 Sarah (sarahelisabethm) rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
This book really focused a LOT on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. Although I'm sure that's very useful for many people, I would have liked to see a broader range of relationships addressed in the book. I did think some chapters were really helpful.
Maggie Jones
Jan 12, 2010 Maggie Jones rated it really liked it
Focuses mostly on mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationships. Pretty interesting so far.
Gave me some good insight but I would have liked more specific suggestions about how to handle conflict.
Jul 07, 2009 RF marked it as to-read
I actually get along famously with my in-laws... but figured this'd be interesting nonetheless!
Libby Say
Oct 13, 2014 Libby Say rated it liked it
it was ok but a bit redundant.
Liz De Coster
May 15, 2014 Liz De Coster rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, wic
For having a lot of examples, the overall book still felt a bit vague and unspecific (and too long).
Maggie Jones
Nov 30, 2009 Maggie Jones is currently reading it
I need some help that I hope this book will deliver...
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