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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws
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What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws

3.27 of 5 stars 3.27  ·  rating details  ·  40 ratings  ·  13 reviews

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.

When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-
Kindle Edition, 288 pages
Published (first published June 24th 2009)
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ehhh... some useful suggestions, I think, but uninspired writing at best and I have to confess, if you're going to use anecdotal case studies, I kinda like to know how one or two of them ended up...
Picked this up from a display shelf at the library 'cause it caught my eye...I thought "all the answers"...hurray!!!

I think I've already figured out a lot of what she was saying but it was very interesting to see the studies done...nice to know that it's not just me or my family (or in-laws) that act this way! Can't say I found a lot of solutions in the book but I think the purpose was perhaps just recognizing where feelings and issues come from.

One thing that I know I've been surprised to find
This book addresses in-law contention with a focus on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law contention. I would recommend this to someone who is not yet married or who has only minor contention with in-laws. For me, it was not very practical and it seems the majority of the advice was appeasement-focused. The other downside was that it read like a dissertation-turned-seminar-lecture (like reading a professor's PowerPoint), which was terribly distracting and unengaging. I should have seen this coming whe ...more
Liz DeCoster
For having a lot of examples, the overall book still felt a bit vague and unspecific (and too long).
Maureen Jackson
I picked it up because the title is something I have wondered to myself. While I enjoyed the case studies and the feeling that, wow, some people have it waaay worse than I do, I was disappointed in the lack of follow through.

Did the strategies presented in the book work for anyone? How is it possible to broach this subject without causing hard feelings?

As I read the book I found I wanted less an answer to the question of the title and more tried and true strategies for coping with the answers y
Libby Say
it was ok but a bit redundant.
This book is a thought-provoking exploration of common in-law issues. Apter encourages readers to consider why an in-law might be behaving in a certain manner, and how understanding the other's perspective is the first step to collaborating towards a solution. I liked that Apter did not let the blood relative off the hook (usually the husband in her examples), and focused on the triangular nature of most in-law problems.
hmm, some food for thought, especially if I ever become a MiL myself.
Sarah (sarahelisabethm)
This book really focused a LOT on mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. Although I'm sure that's very useful for many people, I would have liked to see a broader range of relationships addressed in the book. I did think some chapters were really helpful.
Gave me some good insight but I would have liked more specific suggestions about how to handle conflict.
Maggie Jones
Focuses mostly on mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationships. Pretty interesting so far.
Jul 07, 2009 RF marked it as to-read
I actually get along famously with my in-laws... but figured this'd be interesting nonetheless!
Maggie Jones
Nov 30, 2009 Maggie Jones is currently reading it
I need some help that I hope this book will deliver...
Mirjana Thiessen
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