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148th out of 1,712 books
—
1,525 voters
You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning
From the author of the bestselling classics We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you’ll shoot co’cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as:
• Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate
• How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life
• Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering
• Sex every night f...more
• Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate
• How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life
• Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering
• Sex every night f...more
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published
September 1st 2009
by St. Martin's Press
(first published August 29th 2009)
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After I finished this book and headed to Goodreads, I considered writing a review to explain my one-star rating. In the end I decided that I need to because a) dammit, I wanted humor but was handed 242 pages of stale personality and b) I simply feel the need to justify a low rating when the average is higher.
Note that before I requested this book from the library, I read the title and thought, Witty. I don’t judge books by their covers, but I often judge them by titles before I get around to rea...more
Note that before I requested this book from the library, I read the title and thought, Witty. I don’t judge books by their covers, but I often judge them by titles before I get around to rea...more
I have been trying to read this book for 3 months, waiting for something to pull me in and make me want to keep reading. It never happened, so, barely 100 pages in, I'm cutting my losses and moving on.
I've lived all but 11 months of my life in Texas, the majority of that in a mostly rural area on the southeast side of the state. The author clearly has a different idea of the South than I do so I couldn't relate to many of her characterizations. The inclusion of random recipes at the end of some...more
I've lived all but 11 months of my life in Texas, the majority of that in a mostly rural area on the southeast side of the state. The author clearly has a different idea of the South than I do so I couldn't relate to many of her characterizations. The inclusion of random recipes at the end of some...more
With the wisdom and humor of a North Carolina belle, Celia Rivenbark takes it all on in her latest book, “You Can’t Drink All Day If You Don’t Start in the Morning,” a piece of wisdom she gained along the way. As you read these hilarious essays, you, too, will be tempted to grab your sweet tea-infused vodka bottle and join along.
From perfect attendance awards at the grade school to cat whispering, she covers it all in a context most of us understand, that being common sense. Whether she’s skewer...more
From perfect attendance awards at the grade school to cat whispering, she covers it all in a context most of us understand, that being common sense. Whether she’s skewer...more
This is the third book I have read (or listened to) by Celia Rivenbark, as usual, she does not disappoint. I could listen to her tell her stories forever. This is Southern humor at it's finest.
Since I listened to the book, I can't really go back and find my favorite parts. One that stayed with me was her take on Gweneth Paltrow's website. She talks about Gweneth's ideas on how to help us lead a fuller life. One of the Gwennie's suggestions is to "cook a meal for one you love". Celia's reply, "I...more
Since I listened to the book, I can't really go back and find my favorite parts. One that stayed with me was her take on Gweneth Paltrow's website. She talks about Gweneth's ideas on how to help us lead a fuller life. One of the Gwennie's suggestions is to "cook a meal for one you love". Celia's reply, "I...more
http://wwwdiaryofabooknerd.blogspot.com/
You know those goofy ice breaker questions people ask at corporate events? Things like “If you were stranded on an island, what three items would you want with you?” and “If you could be any ice cream flavor, what would you be?” My favorite though, is always, “If you could have a dinner party with anyone, living or dead, who would you invite?” It’s my favorite because most people try to do the ass-kissy thing and rattle off names like Gandhi, Mother Theres...more
You know those goofy ice breaker questions people ask at corporate events? Things like “If you were stranded on an island, what three items would you want with you?” and “If you could be any ice cream flavor, what would you be?” My favorite though, is always, “If you could have a dinner party with anyone, living or dead, who would you invite?” It’s my favorite because most people try to do the ass-kissy thing and rattle off names like Gandhi, Mother Theres...more
Rivenbark is a Southern humor writer, and her book is filled with catty observations about her town, witticisms regarding Southern life and even a few F-bombs. She doesn't hold back, and takes absolute glee in letting loose on whatever and whomever her target may be, from Gwyneth Paltrow to "the cat whisperer." Oh, and Claymates (Clay Aiken fan club members). That was a pretty hilarious chapter. There are some poignant moments (the death of her father, a trip to NYC with her daughter), which hel...more
Like several other reviewers have stated, I have mixed feelings about this book. It seemed to take forever for me to finish it, but I often enjoyed reading it once I took the time to pick it up.
The chapter where Rivenbark talks about Gweneth Paltrow's ideas on helping her blog followers lead a fuller life were great. I love me some Gweneth, but according to Rivenbark, one of the Gwennie's suggestions is to "cook a meal for one you love". Rivenbark's reply, "I do. It's called dinner, and I do it...more
The chapter where Rivenbark talks about Gweneth Paltrow's ideas on helping her blog followers lead a fuller life were great. I love me some Gweneth, but according to Rivenbark, one of the Gwennie's suggestions is to "cook a meal for one you love". Rivenbark's reply, "I do. It's called dinner, and I do it...more
So I've read through a few of the one-star ratings of this book. If you don't like Southern humor, don't like the word "y'all," aren't fond of the nicknames and niceties so common in the South, and hate grits, you probably won't like this book.
At all.
But for the rest of y'all, read on! Her commentary on everything from raising a family to Clay Aiken to mom jeans to going green is slap-your-momma hilarious. This is the book I loan to anyone who needs a better understanding of what I experienced...more
At all.
But for the rest of y'all, read on! Her commentary on everything from raising a family to Clay Aiken to mom jeans to going green is slap-your-momma hilarious. This is the book I loan to anyone who needs a better understanding of what I experienced...more
I've got mixed feeling about this book. It didn't make me laugh out loud, but there were quite a few things that I thought were funny. I don't know if you have to be Southern to get her humor, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. I did think she played up the Hick-Factor a bit too much, and I found it a little tiring towards the end.
However, Rivenbark caught my attention right off the bat by lampooning something that I have long hated...The Perfect Attendance Award. I cringe inside every time some po...more
However, Rivenbark caught my attention right off the bat by lampooning something that I have long hated...The Perfect Attendance Award. I cringe inside every time some po...more
Delightful Southern female humor with that hint of irony and quirkiness that I know oh so well. I read this and thought 'this woman must be able to read my mind!'
To be fair, I'm a southern gal myself that doesn't take the world and other people too seriously. So I might be biased on how wonderful and hilarious I found her musings :)
But seriously, if you're looking for a quick, light read that will make you chuckle out loud give this a go. And then go look up The Lazy Book Reviewer blog who knows...more
To be fair, I'm a southern gal myself that doesn't take the world and other people too seriously. So I might be biased on how wonderful and hilarious I found her musings :)
But seriously, if you're looking for a quick, light read that will make you chuckle out loud give this a go. And then go look up The Lazy Book Reviewer blog who knows...more
I first began reading Celia Rivenbark when she wrote a weekly column for "The Morning Star" in Wilmington, N.C. In fact, I continued to take the Sunday paper just to see what Celia had to say that week. She always had a biting wit and charm, but somewhere along the way, either she changed or I did. No longer in her writing do I sense that Celia is laughing with "us" southern girls, but more and more it feels like she is laughing at "us." I don't know, maybe I'm too sensitive, but Celia seems to...more
This is my second Rivenbark read. I really want to like her and her humor, but I just don't. Some things come across as very funny (kids who go to school with the measles), but much of it is just not funny. At all. How much does she need to go on about Gwyneth Paltrow being wealthy? It's just not funny. Every so often, she does say something that makes me laugh out loud. This time -- "you're uglier than a sack full of armpits." If that doesn't make you laugh, you'll definitely hate this book. It...more
Jun 20, 2011
Shelley
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Anyone who loves sarcastic wit and Southern Humor
Recommended to Shelley by:
A very good friend who knew I needed a laugh
Started this earlier today and it is hilarious! I love Southern humor and sarcasm and this book drips with both. It also has some great recipes in it. I am going to try a couple of them this week. They sound really yummy. I hope to finish this tonight before I go to sleep but I may finish it tomorrow instead.
Well I ended up going to sleep last night so I finished it this morning. It is a hoot! I read a lot of negative reviews from people who did not find it amusing or did not understand the hum...more
Well I ended up going to sleep last night so I finished it this morning. It is a hoot! I read a lot of negative reviews from people who did not find it amusing or did not understand the hum...more
I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/11214133
This was a funny and touching collection of essays by Celia Rivenbark looking at snips of Southern life and culture. There were even a few recipes that are channeling Paula Deen (anything that calls for 2 sticks of butter...)
Some of the quotes I liked:
"This is usually a prelude to something that is going to be pretty harsh. Just as we bless the heart in the South before we remove it and stomp on it."
"It's easy to...more
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/11214133
This was a funny and touching collection of essays by Celia Rivenbark looking at snips of Southern life and culture. There were even a few recipes that are channeling Paula Deen (anything that calls for 2 sticks of butter...)
Some of the quotes I liked:
"This is usually a prelude to something that is going to be pretty harsh. Just as we bless the heart in the South before we remove it and stomp on it."
"It's easy to...more
As Celia Rivenbark says herself, it's humorous non-fiction. And it's great! This lady may prove to be a Southerner with her quirky sayings and her charm, but her forthrightness and outspokenness could've come straight from the North! Trust me, I've lived in both and she could pull it off.
Now, these types of books are extremely hard to review, because well... there's no synopsis of a story. Yet, Rivenbark still manages to entertain, give you a chuckle, and lead you straight to outright laugh-out...more
Now, these types of books are extremely hard to review, because well... there's no synopsis of a story. Yet, Rivenbark still manages to entertain, give you a chuckle, and lead you straight to outright laugh-out...more
If I had read some of her other books, perhaps I would have felt differently upon beginning with a chapter describing how she hates kids who achieve perfect attendance in school, especially at the health expense of other kids at the school. Had she simply said what I stated above and not boo-ed the children off the stage, maybe I would have been fine with it.
I do take a little offense to someone from North Carolina thinks she's a true Southern girl. That's like somewhere I read that Kentucky was...more
I do take a little offense to someone from North Carolina thinks she's a true Southern girl. That's like somewhere I read that Kentucky was...more
Reading this woman's work is like sitting down for a drink-and-bs-session with a girlfriend. Well, a one sided session, anyway.
On the list of Mama Celia books, this one isn't at the top, but it's not a disappointment, either. Instead of falling down laughing, I got some great chuckles, and it just made me smile. Coworkers saw the cover and did a double take, and it led to great conversations and shoving and nudging to get them to pick up a book of hers and have a great laugh.
Two reasons I love...more
On the list of Mama Celia books, this one isn't at the top, but it's not a disappointment, either. Instead of falling down laughing, I got some great chuckles, and it just made me smile. Coworkers saw the cover and did a double take, and it led to great conversations and shoving and nudging to get them to pick up a book of hers and have a great laugh.
Two reasons I love...more
I wouldn't recommend this to someone who hasn't read Rivenbark. I'd have to recommend We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle or Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank. This was very funny and I laughed out loud numerous times.
I think sometimes people take funny people wrong. Real straight up people need to understand that Rivenbark is being funny with the things she says, she doesn't necessarily do or think then herself.
I absolutely loved the part w...more
I think sometimes people take funny people wrong. Real straight up people need to understand that Rivenbark is being funny with the things she says, she doesn't necessarily do or think then herself.
I absolutely loved the part w...more
Mar 29, 2011
Tini
added it
I didn't read this, that's a lie. It's a book of short stories; I read half of the first one and wasn't impressed. I thought maybe it was just that particular story, so I selected a random story midway through the book. It was also terrible. One more toward the end of the book? Strike three. Mainly, the author is trying WAY TOO HARD to be funny. Aiming for sarcasm or cynicism or something in between, but missing the mark by a mile. Not worth the paper it was printed on.
What can I say? She is southern, a bit bawdy, and tells a good story. Very few people can make kitchen remodeling sound like fun, but Celia can. For a really good laugh at the end of the day, she's your woman. But her best book was my first love only because of the title....Stop Dressing your 6 year old like a Skank. Anyone who can get a book published with "Skank" in the title is my kind of woman. I'd have to buy her books even if I never read them. But I do.
I want to be friends with Celia Rivenbark. I listened to her read this, which adds a whole dimension to the experience. She's proof that a Southern dialect doesn't make you stupid or slow (listening, Yankees?). She's so unabashedly a mix of higher education and "low-culture" enjoyment (in the Klosterman vein), and I'm probably going to grab the rest of her books sooner or later. Highly recommended, especially for those who live in the South or have lived in the South.
Celia Rivenbark will have you laughing out loud. If you are not familiar with her work, please give her a try. Her books are written as almost short stories, or each chapter being a reflection on a situation or event. This probably is a result of her years of being a columnist for a newspaper. Her reflections on husbands, children, buying houses, reality shows are hysterical and the chapter on airlines will have you holding your sides.
Hilarious! I'm loaning this to my mom, a born and bred southern woman who will appreciate little gems that complete entire chapters, such as: "Things a Man Never Says to His Southern Wife" (or something along those lines. Answer: "Honey, I cleaned the cast iron skillet. Man that thing was dirty--like it had never been washed!" I think the author is coming out with another book and will absolutely, happily be a continued reader.
When I first picked up this book I didn't really get it, I didn't realize the author was a humorist. So I put it aside to try again later. I must have been in the mood for a laugh this try because I was cracking up the whole time. It's all the snarky comments on society you wish you could say but can't; all the harsh truths that we often bend into back sided compliments. A light, comical read.
This is a book that is well worth listening to on cd (read by the author). Celia Rivenbark is from a small North Carolina town close to my hometown. I related to far too many of her stories. Her language is a bit rough and nothing is off limits - she's willing to make fun of just about anything but I found some chapters were really funny. This isn't a thought provoking novel but strictly brain candy.
I don't know. I really never heard of this author/comedienne - but I thought the title was hilarious. Some of the chapters were hilarious, but others were just okay. Might I add that I am also a person who always disliked going to comedy clubs - I just never thought most of the material was so laugh out loud, like apparently everyone around me did. Sometimes I think it's like "you had to be there...."
This is an easy, entertaining read. I am half done and started it last night! She is bold in her statements, but somethings are hilarious! I love the bit on bingo-being a bingo fan myself... and there is a "scene" from an airplane that is a riot. Also, there are strategically placed recipes among the anecdotes. I want to make the pecan pie--I personally do not like nuts, but mom does--I thought I could make several small (personal sized) ones, freeze and send.
eventhough this book is not the mos...more
eventhough this book is not the mos...more
Celia Rivenbark's essays are always hilarious and this collection doesn't disappoint. You don't even have to be from the South to enjoy them either. The recipes at the end of each chapter are a really nice touch and I copied several of them before I send this book on to a friend.
You would probably like this if you enjoy Dave Barry, Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro.
You would probably like this if you enjoy Dave Barry, Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro.
A screamingly funny and very up to date look at daily life, particularly in the South. The author fights a losing battle between her inbred politeness and the urge to point out that someone is a moron, bless their heart. She has also included recipes that sound a lot better than anything you see some skinny little thing producing on a TV cooking show. My favorite discovery this year.
I love this author. She swears way too much, is fairly crass, and a little too liberal. She is also so very drop dead funny! Her laid back, wearing a snuggie, shopping at "the walmart", and bless your heart dear southern style is to die for hilarious. Two of the chapters in this book had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. I can't wait for the next one.
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Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first ind...more
More about Celia Rivenbark...
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first ind...more
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“I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die a horrible death', and thon, which means 'for a stupid T-shirt.' Look it up.”
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21 people liked it
“Pecans are not cheap, my hons. In fact, in the South, the street value of shelled pecans just before holiday baking season is roughly that of crack cocaine. Do not confuse the two. It is almost impossible to make a decent crack cocaine tassie, I am told.”
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11 people liked it
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Oct 23, 2011 01:59am
updated Oct 23, 2011 05:45am
Oct 23, 2011 02:24am