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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

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4.1  ·  Rating Details ·  4,064 Ratings  ·  266 Reviews
Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone and Who's Got Your Back The first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do any thing is getting them to hear you out. Whether the person is a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades. Drawing on his experience a ...more
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published September 1st 2009 by Amacom
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Amir
Sep 17, 2016 Amir rated it really liked it
یه کتاب که حتما همه برای بهتر شدن زندگیشون و روابطشون باید بخونن
چرا دعوا؟ چون بلد نیستیم حرف بزنیم.
چرا نوجوون ساعت ها با دوستش تلفنی حرف می زنه ولی نگاه به پدر و مادرش نمی کنه؟
چون پدر و مادر یاد نگرفتن با نوجوونشون چه طور صحبت کنن
چرا مصاحبه کاریتون موفقیت آمیز نیست و همش رد می شید؟
چرا توی دوستیاتون مشکلای کوچیک باعث اختلافای بزرگ می شه؟
چرا فلان همکارتون از شما خوشش نمیاد؟
چرا شریک زندگیتون فقط با فریاد جوابتون و می ده؟
چرا مدیر شرکت به کسی که مهارتش از شما پایین تره ارتقاء مقام می ده ولی به شما نه
...more
Jenny
Jul 27, 2011 Jenny rated it it was amazing
An excellent book, I'll probably buy it in paperback and re-read it periodically.



Some reminders of what it says:



Stop trying to be interesting, be interested instead.



Practice moving quickly from: Oh fuck! (reaction) to Oh God! (emotional release) to Oh Jeez (re-centre yourself) to Oh well (re-focus) to OK (you are ready to fix this).



Everyone wants to feel "felt".



Letting a person in crisis exhale: they vent, be quiet, they stop, say "tell me more", don't engage or debate or offer solutions, just l
...more
Victoria
Feb 07, 2012 Victoria rated it it was amazing
"Just Listen" is an outstanding, practical how-to guide for becoming a better face-to-face communicator. As a professional communicator, I often find it easier to write for an amorphous, anonymous large audience, or speak in front of a large room, rather than work one on one with people who are resistant or difficult. Dr. Goulston's book is for people like me, who are friendly, sociable and articulate, but need to refine their personal leadership skills. Sometimes I am prone to thinking that som ...more
Tannaz
Sep 30, 2016 Tannaz rated it really liked it
That was totally worth reading... It's just way different from those inspiring books which tell you some "you must" and "you shouldn't" style recommendations that bores you before even finishing the book. Just know that there are some pages which the writer tirelessly brags about himself because he believes he's gonna teach you some miracle-like lessons, but believe it or not, he is so damn right!
Farnoosh Brock
Oct 16, 2015 Farnoosh Brock rated it it was amazing
Shelves: business-spirit
This is going to the list of my top recommended leadership and self-growth books both for corporate professionals as well as business owners. When my business coach casually mentioned the book, I didn't think much of it so I just ordered the Kindle version and started reading. I had to STOP reading so I could get the physical paper copy of the book and sit up and take notes as I read. And I hardly buy physical copies of books these days, much as I love them, so you know this was special. It has ...more
George
May 26, 2013 George rated it liked it
There are a lot of interesting and salient points made in this book about connecting with people. Some of it seems like common sense, and some of it seems truly novel. At times, though, while I was reading certain chapters, it felt more like a guidebook on how to manipulate others and less like suggestions or recommendations on how to connect with people in a genuine, authentic way. That troubles me and that's why I gave this book 3 stars instead of 4 or 5.

To be clear, the author is definitely a
...more
Norm Konzelman
May 10, 2014 Norm Konzelman rated it really liked it
I need this book as a must have, to aquire the skills/habits the author presents. The principles he lays out are profound, and yet when you give them thought, you realize it's just common sense, often times you could even say "common courtesy" in the respect it gives another.
The author presents his work with a worldly view that at times was weird to hear, as in "reptile brain, mammal brain, human brain", but when taken in a biblical context, he borrows what God laid out in His word ages ago.
I ha
...more
Erika RS
Jul 22, 2012 Erika RS rated it liked it
The core message of this book is sound: getting people to listen to you requires you listening to them. Effective communication requires work to understand the person you are trying to communicate with. Beyond the core message, this book had a lot of practical tips with something of a laundry list feel to their presentation.

I like a lot of the tips, but I sometimes felt the author did not really address the concerns of an average person trying to learn how to listen and communicate better. If y
...more
Van
Jul 02, 2015 Van rated it it was amazing
Những lời khuyên về thuật đắc nhân tâm nghe nhiều đến mức đã thành chán nhàm. Không phải là coi thường những lời vàng ngọc đó, nhưng tôi vẫn luôn cảm thấy hoài nghi : Cơ sở của những lời khuyên đó là gì ? Liệu nó có thể áp dụng thành công cho mọi người ?

Chỉ đến khi đọc cuốn sách này, tôi mới thật sự nhận được câu trả lời. Mỗi người có thể là một cá thể độc nhất vô nhị, nhưng cấu tạo bộ não của chúng ta và cách thức nó phản ứng trước căng thẳng thì không khác nhau. Hơn nữa, tác giả cũng không hề
...more
Miêu Tặc
Jan 10, 2015 Miêu Tặc rated it really liked it
Nói chi thêm một câu
Gieo bao nghiệp khổ đau
Có nhiều khi em ạ
Lặng im là phép màu.
Kelly
Apr 07, 2013 Kelly rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own
This book is a very practical, applicable, "how to" on getting people from a defensive position to one where they may listen to you. Most of us won't have to deal with a hostage situation but at times we may feel like the idiot we're trying to help has us held hostage as they are reacting defensively to a situation and failing to act logically. Goulston does a marvelous job of explaining ways and methods to approach these delicate situations. Hint, don't call the person an idiot. He also does a ...more
Leslie
Jan 25, 2014 Leslie rated it it was amazing
I read this book in a few hours from my college online library. I just ordered a copy from amazon, this book has so much information that will help me in my personnel life and professional life. Looking forward to getting my copy! there is a lot i want to highlight and re-read. I highly recommend.
Sarah
May 07, 2015 Sarah rated it it was amazing
Great, but I wish it talked about confrontation, religion, and politics. In other words, the most difficult bits.
Patama
Sep 25, 2011 Patama rated it it was amazing
There are several points made this book become one of my favorite book. How this book organized is so effective for learning.

1.Always inroduce concepts with mini stories from the author's real life. This not only attracted the audience
but also showed how he is real great communicator who care reader's think, for example from Sect I: chap 2
"..I got the point. Most poeple reading this book don't care about neurons and neurotransmitter.."
Therefore the scientific part in this book comprise Three
...more
Greg
Jan 09, 2015 Greg rated it it was amazing
If you want to learn how to reach out to people in your family, work, community, or even total strangers, you will definitely learn a lot of useful lessons from Mark Goulston in his book Just Listen. The title itself makes it simpler by saying exactly what you need to do. However, what this book is all about is on how exactly will you listen.

I find this book very interesting because I did not expect that it will be different than other books about interpersonal relationship. I am assuming that t
...more
Dan
Nov 10, 2016 Dan rated it it was amazing
What a fantastic book, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. This is one area everyone could improve on. It offers real practical advice that make you think and put into action.

- Just let people talk and be excited,
- Try not to judge but rather facilitate their expression of that emotion because it helps move alleviate their minds from a primal mindset to a thinking mindset. Its technique used for hostage negotiations, so it works!
- Control the pace of conversation through powerful engaging questions
...more
Annie
Sep 15, 2013 Annie rated it it was amazing
Shelves: recommend
This book gives plenty of realistic scenarios: my teenager son hardly tells me anything, I have to work with a co-worker who's constantly angry, my boss doesn't get what I'm saying, and my spouse and I are always fighting. As you're listening to these scenarios (complete with realistic dialogues), you think "Yes, I've been there. What do I need to do to fix it?" The author then gives solutions that move people from arguing to empathizing to listening. The solutions aren't earth shattering. The s ...more
TarasProkopyuk
Mar 31, 2014 TarasProkopyuk rated it really liked it
В книге Марка Гоулстона «Я слышу вас насквозь» автор призывает читателей не к тому, чтобы просто научиться читать мысли людей, а научится их понимать, научиться глубоко проникнутся тем или иным человеком, и попытаться побывать в его шкуре.

Автор уверяет, что только после этого как вам удастся это сделать, а это не так уж и сложно, то отношения и взаимная коммуникация выйдет совсем на новый, очень высокий уровень. Автор постоянно напоминает, что множество проблем между людьми происходит не обязате
...more
Mario Tomic
Sep 13, 2014 Mario Tomic rated it really liked it
Very cool book on empathy and managing relationships with people practically in all areas of your life. I'd say it's a must read for anyone dealing with people, for me it was interested as it helps me become a better coach for my clients. If you're a manager, CEO, doctors, attorney, parent or any similar position this book will teach you the exact skills to master the art of maintaining win-win relationships with people you interact with. The only reason why I don't give it 5 stars is because it ...more
Nicole
Feb 28, 2013 Nicole rated it really liked it
Full of relatable and easy to use techniques!

I thoroughly enjoyed Goulston’s book! And, while I understand why some people have written reviews stating that he writes with an arrogant tone and tries to show-off his accomplishments, I disagree with this assessment.

While Goulston does use examples from his experience as a psychiatrist and consultant, I think the book has a friendly, genuinely-interested-in-helping-people voice. In fact, as a young woman who didn’t receive much parenting in the w
...more
Quirky Shauna
Aug 10, 2012 Quirky Shauna rated it it was amazing
Shelves: self-help
Goulston identifies our three brains; the snake brain, the rat brain, and the Mr Spock brain. Obviously, I want to be at Mr Spock level and Goulston has several techniques to reach my nirvana.

From his book: "Techniques create traction – they pull people in. Most people upshift when they want to get through to other people. They persuade, encourage, argue, push. In the process, they create resistance. When you use these techniques, you’ll do the opposite – listen, ask, mirror and reflect back t
...more
Earl Gray
Mar 18, 2012 Earl Gray rated it it was amazing
This is an excellent book on deep, effective listening. It simply and accessibly written. The first section about the difference between the three main ways our brain responds and the illustrations of it are worth the price of the book alone. I am experientially learning my way through it, applying the different aspects.

04.06.12 - This book is remarkable, full of cascading, remarkable insights. Read this, slowly, and put it into play. It will make a difference in your life.
Caren McCracken
Nov 16, 2014 Caren McCracken rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very thoughtful book

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The techniques described in this book can be used by anyone in all aspects of their life, personal and professional. The examples given make it easy to apply. Even if you take just one thing away from this book...........listening.......can improve almost any relationship.
Heather Couchenour
Amazing. I am trying to put it into play on a daily basis. I learned a lot about how to be a better listener. I have a lot to learn. I am hoping that other's will see an improvement in my communication styles.

Anton Antonov
Apr 08, 2015 Anton Antonov rated it did not like it
Not a book for the everyday person. I expected a simple and unobtrusive "self-help" book, instead I get the hostage negotiator's pocket guide.

I like my books straight to the point without unneedless cliched stories.
Gregory
May 09, 2011 Gregory rated it it was amazing
Shelves: leadership, 2011
This was a paradigm changing book that I think everyone should read. It is how we don't really listen to others for understanding. We need to be more attentive and we would get much more satisfaction out of our relationships. If you have teenagers this book should be a must read.
Homy
Apr 25, 2013 Homy added it
If you want to have deeper connection with people in your life, the secret is deep listening ... to what is said and what is not said. Mark Goulston opens a door to many clues that we usually ignore and never able to open up the secret chest of our companions.
Miranda Diaz
Dr. Goulston outlines strategies for faster coping during crisis, mirroring others, recognizing needs, and deescalating with a little manipulation thrown in for good measure. Some of his examples were a titch simplistic and not-so-believable, but on the whole a very good read.
Cindy
Oct 24, 2009 Cindy rated it it was amazing
I'm really liking this book. It's a great book to read - as a Librarian and as a human being. LOL. Seriously though - People do not know how to listen to each other. Listening is a skill.
Sumathi Kotthuri
Oct 07, 2012 Sumathi Kotthuri rated it it was amazing
Very good book.Quite informative. Looks like a professional book. Have to re-read again to have a all points in hand to use practically.
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MARK GOULSTON, M.D., is a business psychiatrist and consultant, author of the bestselling Just Listen, and subject of the PBS special “Just Listen with Dr. Goulston.” He writes a Tribune syndicated career column; blogs for Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; and is featured frequently in major media including The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fort ...more
More about Mark Goulston...

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“One absolutely crucial element in moving your brain from panic to logic is to put words to what you’re feeling at each stage.” 2 likes
“Perpetually needy people suck the life out of you, because no matter what you do for them, it’s never enough.” 2 likes
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