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Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons
In Boys Should Be Boys, one of our most trusted authorities helps parents restore the delights of boyhood and enable today’s boys to become the mature, confident, and thoughtful men of tomorrow. Boys will always be boys–rambunctious, adventurous, and curious, climbing trees, building forts, playing tackle football, and pushing their growing bodies to the limit as part of t...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published
May 19th 2009
by Ballantine Books
(first published 2008)
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A great book if you're a reactionary, feebleminded, conservative dolt who hasn't yet heard or intuited that you should be there for your kids, encourage them instead of criticize them, and watch out for issues of violence, porn, or destructive behavior in mass media. Holy crap, why did I think a pop psychology book would have anything interesting to say?!? This book took advantage of my neurosis about raising my son to sell me a bunch of crap about religion, the dangers of pornography, and nee...more
I thought the book had excellent insight into the minds of boys. Having two sons of my own and having grown up between two brothers, I see the action and adventure side as well as the tender loving side of my boys. This book does not try to categorize your boy into a certain pigeonhole of shoot everything you see to be a man, but instead, real stories from acrossed the spectrum to identify with the nature of boys.
The author deals with a perspective that can be respected taking h...more
The author deals with a perspective that can be respected taking h...more
I love the main points in this book. Boys need God, and this is much forgotten in society today. Boys need time with their parents...not for their parents to stay at work late making more money so they can go to just one more activity and get that much better of a Christmas present, but for their parents to be with them and teach them character qualities that will truly allow them to succeed in the future. I also like how she emphasized that time together needs to be quality. While being there i...more
I had high hopes, but it fell short. The things she had to say didn't resonate well with me and I got a very conservative undertone. She was very essentialist, meaning "Boys are essentially X. Mothers are essentially Y. Fathers are essentially Z." After 300 pgs, I had the prototypical image of ONE boy in my head; there wasn't much room for range or individual differences. It's ironic, actually, because I had been searching for books that would lead me a bit into the biological developm...more
K.
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Parents, adult mentors of boys
Recommended to K. by:
Ryan & Heather Moller
Shelves:
parenting
Notes so long because I don’t own the book and want to remember some key points.
Great book from the same author of another important parenting book: “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.” These are two books worth reading if you parent or plan on parenting (or grandparent, or mentor) children, boys & girls. While many of the things in these books seem like common sense, I realize that in many places this may not be so.
I find the author’s honesty and willingness to call some th...more
Great book from the same author of another important parenting book: “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.” These are two books worth reading if you parent or plan on parenting (or grandparent, or mentor) children, boys & girls. While many of the things in these books seem like common sense, I realize that in many places this may not be so.
I find the author’s honesty and willingness to call some th...more
As seems to be the case these days with the wealth of books, I thought this one would have been better served with a more fitting title, such as "Boys to Men," especially since the book did not outline "seven secrets to raising healthy sons." That nit-picking aside, the book was quite straightforward, easy to read, and extremely helpful about boys, their general disposition, and what they most need to mature into wise and compassionate men. Not surprisingly, their needs are s...more
I liked the author's heavy emphasis on teaching our boys to be virtuous men. I feel like in this day in age, its not really viewed as the "norm" and she boldly states that teens that are drinking, having premarital sex, etc that this is not normal teenage behavior. Although I feel like these are things that I already knew, I liked having the reminder that boys need more of us (their parents) and less things or activities. They need a relationship with God, they need rules and they need...more
This book was very enjoyable. Since I have 3 sons I occasionally like to read books about boys. I can gauge what the experts say against how I am raising my sons. Meg Meeker says there seven keys ro raising great sons. One is encouraging your son without spoiling him, and not being too harsh so you lose communication and destroy his self-esteem. second, is understanding what your son needs and it is not more stuff...its time with their parents. Third, boys need rules. Fourth, virtue is no...more
This book was quite good and I would like to give it 4.5 stars.
The reason it lost 1 star
There are a few places when I think the Author is a little heavy handed with the perils and dangers facing our sons.
also I think she puts a little too much emphasis on the differences between boys and girls. There are certainly some real and siginficant differences but really I think 90% of this book is good for parents who have daughters too.
And finally this book was very cente...more
The reason it lost 1 star
There are a few places when I think the Author is a little heavy handed with the perils and dangers facing our sons.
also I think she puts a little too much emphasis on the differences between boys and girls. There are certainly some real and siginficant differences but really I think 90% of this book is good for parents who have daughters too.
And finally this book was very cente...more
This book is A MUST READ for anyone who is raising boys! I think Dads should read it too!
I got so much out if it that i feel like you need to read the book to really get the important points. But I was reminded that time together is the most important (and to make sure it is happy time), that boys need time to be bored and let their imagination go wild (it reinforced my views on TV and video games and reminded me not to get caught up in comparing with others and not over schedulin...more
I got so much out if it that i feel like you need to read the book to really get the important points. But I was reminded that time together is the most important (and to make sure it is happy time), that boys need time to be bored and let their imagination go wild (it reinforced my views on TV and video games and reminded me not to get caught up in comparing with others and not over schedulin...more
**REVISED**
Dr Meeker, pediatrician and teen councilor, continues to add great value for her readers (see Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters review) and I appreciate the insight she provides in this work about our boys. Unlike her "Strong Daughter" book where she exposed the current assualt waged against our girls and how to stave off that affront, she describes our failure we are bearing on our boys by not supplying the thing they really need, which is exploring the outside world....more
Dr Meeker, pediatrician and teen councilor, continues to add great value for her readers (see Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters review) and I appreciate the insight she provides in this work about our boys. Unlike her "Strong Daughter" book where she exposed the current assualt waged against our girls and how to stave off that affront, she describes our failure we are bearing on our boys by not supplying the thing they really need, which is exploring the outside world....more
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My brother gave me this book and said that he had enjoyed Dr. Meeker's thoughts. I, too, enjoyed what she had to say regarding the rearing of boys in today's world. She is a religious pediatrician, who is not afraid to call it like it is in many instances. I enjoyed her thoughts on the responsibilities of parents, especially fathers, in the lives of their sons. I hope that I can take some of the thoughts I had while reading her book, and implement in the relationships I have with my sons. O...more
I liked this book a lot. It has been a little while since I read it, but it gave me some good insights on needs and strengths that I can encourage in my sons--like steering that urge for guns and shooting play can be a positive thing because boys need to protect others. (This was when I started urging my 3 year-old to protect me from an imaginary bear instead of shooting at me).
This is just one example. Having grown up in a family with 4 girls no brothers, I got some real insights i...more
This is just one example. Having grown up in a family with 4 girls no brothers, I got some real insights i...more
I am buying a copy of this book to keep. It had so many practical things we should be doing with our boys, and specifically what dad's (or another male role model) should be doing to teach boys what being a boy and, eventually, a man, is all about. Things from courage, to standing up for what is right, self-respect, how to treat a girl, to serving others and showing compassion. It helped me as a mom, understand why boys act out certain roles in pretend play and why those roles ARE necessary f...more
Although I didn't agree with some of the author's more conservative ideas, in general she had some good suggestions. I read this because I wanted to see what an MD (as opposed to a psychologist) would say. In particular, I thought the chapter about introducing religion to boys at an early age was good. I'm not very religious myself, but as she points out, belief in God can give a boy a feeling of security. Sons can always question their beliefs and arrive at their own conclusions when they a...more
I started this book skeptical of Meeker's right to give me advice. How does being a pediatrician make her an expert on raising boys? Was she just going to tell me how to raise an "old-fashioned" boy (ala John Rosemand)? The early apocolyptic language about "Boyhood Under Siege" and a chapter on the importance of outdoor play didn't help. BUT, by the end, she had won me over. Here's why:
1. She does cite lots of research and surveys, using facts, stats and stories to supp...more
1. She does cite lots of research and surveys, using facts, stats and stories to supp...more
A good read about raising boys to be men. Yes, for all those negative reviews that stated the book had conservative undertones, I believe Dr. Meeker was obvious about her intentions. She is looking at the "men" in our society and saying that many of the changes made in raising our boys have not been for the better. She advocates a return to a strong family unit with clearly defined rolls where boys are raised to be men unapologetically.
There is very little earth shattering inform...more
There is very little earth shattering inform...more
Very good book with some great insights and advice but the author repeated herself a lot. And I never did find out what the 7 secrets were? I did find some helpful info though. For example:
"The foundation of any boy's life is built on three things: his relationships with his parents, his relationship with God, and his relationship with his siblings and close friends. If these three are strong, any boy can thrive in the midst of academic and athletic challenges, a toxic cult...more
"The foundation of any boy's life is built on three things: his relationships with his parents, his relationship with God, and his relationship with his siblings and close friends. If these three are strong, any boy can thrive in the midst of academic and athletic challenges, a toxic cult...more
I really loved Meg Meeker's "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters". Since I also have two sons, I was happy to read her new book "Boys Should Be Boys". Note that her first book had 10 secrets every father should know. This book has 7 secrets to raising healthy sons. I guess boys are simpler creatures! Meeker's book is a call to fight the good fight, to continually recommit to saving our boys from a culture that would corrupt or nullify them and sweep them away. In the process, we...more
I really enjoyed this book. All of her advice was common, practical, good sense, but it was so helpful to understand how boys click. Two things I took away from this reading. 1) It was consoling to read in print the fact that we should give as much affection to our young boys (and to the older of course, but it's different) and not to hold back. But in giving all this love, the mother especially knows she has to prepare for that point when he will sever those apron strings. He NEEDS to be a man....more
A great book for any dad with boys. Everyone should at least read the last chapter, Ten tips for making sure you get it right.
1. Know that you change his world. - Fathers are larger than life to your boys. Parents are the number one influence in a boys life.
2. Raise him from the inside out. - Imagine the man you want him to be (with regards to character) at 25. Then spend your energy teaching him these character traits.
3. Help his masculinity explode. - Te...more
1. Know that you change his world. - Fathers are larger than life to your boys. Parents are the number one influence in a boys life.
2. Raise him from the inside out. - Imagine the man you want him to be (with regards to character) at 25. Then spend your energy teaching him these character traits.
3. Help his masculinity explode. - Te...more
Much of this book involved stating the obvious, and her heavily anecdotal style, which involves introducing every point with a long story about a particular child who may or may not have anything in common with my child, grew tedious. However, the advice seemed fairly solid. I think it would have been helpful to have more specific and detailed advice on raising boys and interesting to have more evidence along the lines of research and statistics (rather than primarily anecdotes).
Her...more
Her...more
As with so many raising-kids books, this one has a lot of common-sense-based ideas that aren't revolutionary but are worth being reminded of. Heavy on the concepts of the ideal of little (and supervised) tv and Internet, no violent video games, spending copious time with kids, religion as helping to create a moral compass, not being afraid to set active limits and know what's going on in your child's life.
I liked the parts about teaching a boy how to grow out of adolescence. On the ...more
I liked the parts about teaching a boy how to grow out of adolescence. On the ...more
Not as great as I anticipated. I agreed with a lot of what she said, about how we need to bring back the rough and tumble boys. Our culture seems to try to de-genderize everyone. (I know that's not a word, but you get it, right?)
So, I liked her thoughts. It just seemed like a lot of statistics about how the boys in the world are changing, and not much new information for me. I was hoping for some fun ideas for bringing up boys.
I actually never finished it. A lot of it was the sam...more
So, I liked her thoughts. It just seemed like a lot of statistics about how the boys in the world are changing, and not much new information for me. I was hoping for some fun ideas for bringing up boys.
I actually never finished it. A lot of it was the sam...more
I highly recommend this book for anyone raising a son or anyone with a special boy in their life. It's a very enjoyable read with lots of great truths. Nothing in here is rocket science. Nothing is earth-shattering or state-of-the art. However, the book is full of wisdom and some great advice. The author is a pediatrician who has seen thousands of boys in her practice, and who has 4 children of her own. Her advice comes from her own experience and is very insightful. This may be the only self-he...more
I thought that this book was interesting. It tells why boys do what they do and why we should let them. I felt that it was a better book for fathers than mothers. It is consistantly talking about how important fathers are in raising healthy boys. It tells the father many things that they should or shouldn't do. However, I felt a little discouraged by this book because, as a mother, I felt like I have a very insignificant part in how my sons will turn out. The bulk of this book was for fathers.
So far I am enjoying this book a lot. While I dont think Im clueless to the differences of boys and girls, or men and women, there are several insightful things in here and I appreciate that we as parents need to take a stronger stance these days in protecting our sons and daughters from all the toxic media (violent video games, shows, oversaturation of sexual images everywhere) they are constantly exposed to, especially when they are young. Actually for as long as possible.
I highly recommend this great book. Dr. Meeker's book on daughters is just as compelling.
Here are some take-aways:
"In my experience, every good parent intuitively knows what is good and not good for his sons. The problem is, we ignore our intuitions and jump on the train loaded with mothers and fathers pushing their sons to outshine the others. Get off that train.
Time, attention, affection and approval: they are what every boy needs in abundance fr...more
Here are some take-aways:
"In my experience, every good parent intuitively knows what is good and not good for his sons. The problem is, we ignore our intuitions and jump on the train loaded with mothers and fathers pushing their sons to outshine the others. Get off that train.
Time, attention, affection and approval: they are what every boy needs in abundance fr...more
I really liked it!
A great bit of information covered on raising kids, specifically a new generation of upstanding young men, and a topic very important to me and my little boy! Good to get some greater insight on this aspect of family life as I have a bit of a hole in knowledge when it comes to pre-college age fatherly mentorship. Was a good trip here and is recommended for all parents. Waiting for the girl version now!
A great bit of information covered on raising kids, specifically a new generation of upstanding young men, and a topic very important to me and my little boy! Good to get some greater insight on this aspect of family life as I have a bit of a hole in knowledge when it comes to pre-college age fatherly mentorship. Was a good trip here and is recommended for all parents. Waiting for the girl version now!
This is the first book about raising boys I have read written by a woman and I loved it. It's easy to read, with lots of personal insight and examples from the author's private practice. It is conservative without being overly religious and does take a strong stand against sexual promiscuity and discusses other moral issues. There is a chapter devoted to the dangers of electronics and a helpful chapter on transitioning a boy into manhood. Two of the most helpful chapters focus on what boys n...more
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