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9th out of 76 books
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74 voters
My rating:
add to my books
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
The hilarious new book from the star of Chelsea Lately and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.
Get ready for big laughs as Chelsea Handler lets loose with more comic personal essays. In this new, no-holds-barred account of life on the ridiculous side, Chelsea mines the wealth of material that is her family, her sex life, her c
...moreHardcover, 244 pages
Published
March 9th 2010
by Grand Central Publishing
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Only got half way through before I quit because felt like I was at a high school reunion with Chelsea and she couldn't shut up about her twenty years her senior boyfriend, who by the way OWNS the company that produces her show -it's on E! every night at 9pm/11pm/1am- therefore is her boss but she tells him to [enter graphic detail while i look awkwardly at man who is Clooney's age without his appeal] in bed, then retelling highly unlikely stories of her masturbatory girl scout years (hello! we w...more
CC memo from Ms. Handlers desk: "Hey everyone I'm famous." "I'm so famous I don't even have to apply myself to actually admit my stories make my already outlandish diatribes sound believable or even funny." Thank you, for constantly reminding us how obviously much more "down-to-earth" you try to pretend to be, now that you at the time had the fancy new state the art CEO Boyfriend with accessories. Someone needs to stop drinking the bright pink kool-aid of illusional...more
R.
marked it as to-read
More foulmouthed hijinks by America's favorite White Trash Jewish American Princess!
Though, a fault thus far noticed: Chelsea's essay on her campaign for getting the Cabbage Patch Kid which will set her apart on the playground ends with a photograph of Young Miss Handler holding aforementioned Cabbage Patch Doll -a sort of trophy shot.
But, throughout the essay, she describes the Doll of her Dreams as being brunette. The one in the photograph is blonde. Which is it, C...more
Though, a fault thus far noticed: Chelsea's essay on her campaign for getting the Cabbage Patch Kid which will set her apart on the playground ends with a photograph of Young Miss Handler holding aforementioned Cabbage Patch Doll -a sort of trophy shot.
But, throughout the essay, she describes the Doll of her Dreams as being brunette. The one in the photograph is blonde. Which is it, C...more
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The only thing, other than self violation, that got me through my divorce, was Chelsea Handler. However, I never followed through on the actual getting divorced piece of the divorce process so, this book actually sucks.
I actually really enjoyed the 3rd book, maybe even more than the other 2. I liked that a lot of the stories involved Ted and the practical jokes he has to live through. I also LOVED that there were pictures involved throughout the book...it made the story lines much more believable and gave a great visual to go with her short stories. Because I watch her show nightly, I can see the stories play out much more clearly than I would be able to if I was just a reader w/ no knowledge of her sense of h...more
I write this review having enjoyed her other books, that were, you know, funny and outrageous stories, so my issue isn't really her subject matter. That said: this is a rambling bunch of foul-mouthed musings, none of which add up to single comprehensible story or even funny anecdote with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Each chapter is basically:
1) Intro the story with a horrifying metaphor, set up what could has potential for a funny story
2) Jam in a sidebar of something to...more
1) Intro the story with a horrifying metaphor, set up what could has potential for a funny story
2) Jam in a sidebar of something to...more
Chelsea is great, but this book is "a hot mess".
The first two or three chapters are fun, but then Chelsea runs out of steam or something and just falls on her face.
The book dies for me in the middle somewhere, when Chelsea tells a rather sleazy story about trying to get her chauffeur some action on vacation, and it turns into a drunken spectacle with some insane woman calling Chelsea a bitch and pushing her around a little.
That chapter is clear...more
The first two or three chapters are fun, but then Chelsea runs out of steam or something and just falls on her face.
The book dies for me in the middle somewhere, when Chelsea tells a rather sleazy story about trying to get her chauffeur some action on vacation, and it turns into a drunken spectacle with some insane woman calling Chelsea a bitch and pushing her around a little.
That chapter is clear...more
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is the third memoir by the ever-entertaining comedian Chelsea Handler. If you can't handle nasty or raunchy, then this book isn't for you -- but if you loved Sarah Silverman's The Bedwetter and all of Jenny McCarthy's memoirs, then make sure to pick this one up.
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is comprised of stories about random, crazy adventures and incidents from Handler's past. This specific memoir also includes pictures to go along with the stories, which is an ...more
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is comprised of stories about random, crazy adventures and incidents from Handler's past. This specific memoir also includes pictures to go along with the stories, which is an ...more
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Chelsea Handler is a nut, no doubt about it. If you didn't gather that from her two previous humorous memoir/ essay collections, you'll definitely know it after reading her latest book release, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. The title reminds me, of course, of the 1968 Roald Dahl film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but the titles are where the similarities begin and end, except for perhaps the ludicracy (word, or not a word?) involved in both.
Famous for her talk show Chelsea Lately on entertai...more
Famous for her talk show Chelsea Lately on entertai...more
Apzmarshl
rated it
Recommended to Apzmarshl by:
ayone with a stomach hardened by alcohol comsumption
I have feelings of guilt and shame that I spent the first wee hours of our Nation's Independence Day once again reeled in by the likes of Chelsea Handler. I upped my stars on this book from the 2 stars given on her two prior books to three. This is completely and totally because of the parts written....or possibly not written, now that I am better acquainted with her habitual lying.....by her siblings, whom I find to be much funnier than Chelsea herself.
Her prankster/inability to tell th...more
Her prankster/inability to tell th...more
This book was terrible. I love love love Chelsea Handler - I think her dry, quick wit is unmatched. I also enjoy watching her attack her panel of comedians, and the way she engages people she's never met and shoots the shit with guests that she obviously knows and adores.
That being said: this book has none of the wit or charm that makes me tune into her show This is a slapped together piece of shit where she simply tells stories about her vacations and her family without grace or ...more
That being said: this book has none of the wit or charm that makes me tune into her show This is a slapped together piece of shit where she simply tells stories about her vacations and her family without grace or ...more
I don’t think that I’ve laughed so much during a book than I did with this one. Seriously, I thought that I would wake up the neighbourhood at three in the morning while I was still reading this book last night because I could not put it down.
It’s a series of essays/stories that, to be honest, I have no idea if they’re complete lies, slightly untold truths, or blatant elaborations but I also don’t care. This book was hilarious, witty, and downright fun. Sure, I could have easily stop...more
It’s a series of essays/stories that, to be honest, I have no idea if they’re complete lies, slightly untold truths, or blatant elaborations but I also don’t care. This book was hilarious, witty, and downright fun. Sure, I could have easily stop...more
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang was a letdown when placed in comparison with her previous memoirs. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang had its moments of course, but I didn't laugh out loud more than once, a drastic difference from when I read her prior work.
I wouldn't suggest reading this as an introduction to Chelsea Handler. Personally I think it would be best to read them in the order they're written for the best experience. (My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea...more
I wouldn't suggest reading this as an introduction to Chelsea Handler. Personally I think it would be best to read them in the order they're written for the best experience. (My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea...more
My sister left me a copy of Chelsea Handler's new novel Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang. If I find myself having insomnia and up late, I tune in to her late night talk show on E! She is raunchy and snarky. I first started watching her on the web series, "In The Motherhood". She was so funny in the role as a mother. Her character was a a hapless mother who would rather be having a cocktail than making sure her kids were doing homework. She was also on Girls Behaving Badly for a while, but ...more
CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is another great collection of stories from the hilarious Chelsea Handler. I brought it on vacation with me and enjoyed the light and easy poolside and beachside reading. I laughed out loud from her viewpoint of "Sex and the City" and many of her other quirky, sarcastic observations.
Chelsea is at her best when talking about the weird predicaments that she finds herself in, whether at work, in her social life, or with her family members. Her stor...more
Chelsea is at her best when talking about the weird predicaments that she finds herself in, whether at work, in her social life, or with her family members. Her stor...more
I'm not much for most comedians. It's not that I don't get the comedy, but I think I just prefer that it be a bit cleaner. I have a comedy threshold, apparently, where if it gets too dirty, I just don't think it's funny anymore. Most of Chelsea Handler's brand of humor falls into the "too dirty" category for me.
This book begins with a chapter about "the feeling." She makes no bones about jumping right in and talking about orgasms and dry-humping everything in sig...more
This book begins with a chapter about "the feeling." She makes no bones about jumping right in and talking about orgasms and dry-humping everything in sig...more
I am a huge Chelsea Handler fan. I've read her other two books and this is definitely not her best. Her other two books seemed filled with hilarious stories that made me not want to put the book down, whereas this book had some moments/chapters where I just wanted to keep reading to get through that boring section of the book.
Don't get me wrong I for sure had many laugh out loud moments, and was entertained by her shenanigans and stories but it seems very thrown together as a boo...more
Don't get me wrong I for sure had many laugh out loud moments, and was entertained by her shenanigans and stories but it seems very thrown together as a boo...more
I am a fan of Chelsea Handler's late night talks how on E! and an avid recommender of her two previous books about the craziness that is her life. However, Handler's third effort, "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" falls short, especially in compared to the laugh out loud until you cried stories of her previous two books.
I don't know if the lack of hilarity is due to a rush on the author's part to get the book to print or if she is slacking because she knows she has a solid fan b...more
I don't know if the lack of hilarity is due to a rush on the author's part to get the book to print or if she is slacking because she knows she has a solid fan b...more
At first this book seemed to be written purely for shock value, but either it got funnier along the way, or I became inured to the crudity and more attuned to the hilarity - eventually laughing out loud on occasion. Chandler ranks up there with David and Amy Sedaris when it comes to using revelations regarding family and lovers for the sake of shock and amusement, but I would like to think that some of these stories did not really happen, or that there was at least some comedic exaggeration. But...more
Some parts of this book, really random parts, had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Behold:
-I leaped up from the sofa and announced I felt a bout of diarrhea coming on, which was really the only ailment my father ever took seriously.
"What did she eat?" he asked my mother.
"Cat shit," I said, running out of the room. "The kids at school made me eat cat shit today, because I'm wearing jeans from Sears."
-This is where he finds...more
-I leaped up from the sofa and announced I felt a bout of diarrhea coming on, which was really the only ailment my father ever took seriously.
"What did she eat?" he asked my mother.
"Cat shit," I said, running out of the room. "The kids at school made me eat cat shit today, because I'm wearing jeans from Sears."
-This is where he finds...more
Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood.
Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report...more
Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report...more
I have loved Chelsea Handler since I read her first book, which is her best book by far. To me, I don't think she will ever top her first book, and this fear was confirmed with Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea. That book seemed hurried and thrown together, with the stories going on FAR longer and being FAR more outrageously unbelievable than the first attempt. What she seemed to lose focus of was that the first book had been so good because there was a certain amount of believability in e...more
First things first: Chelsea Handler is a wonderful comedian. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands is great, and Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is even better. Her first two books are full of outrageous stories, hilarious dialogue, and a plethora of excellent one-liners. Because I found her first two books so entertaining, I assumed that her third (Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang) would be no different. After about two chapters however, I realized I was going to be extremely dis...more
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is another hilarious memoir by female comedienne extraordinaire Chelsea Handler. I read her other two books My Horizontal Life and Are You There Vodka It’s Me Chelsea before I had this blog, but they are just as hilarious as this one.
Seriously, don’t read this book in public. I read it on the train and got weird looks for laughing so hard. This is an enjoyable read that you will probably get through in a day or two.
Broken into different chapters ...more
Seriously, don’t read this book in public. I read it on the train and got weird looks for laughing so hard. This is an enjoyable read that you will probably get through in a day or two.
Broken into different chapters ...more
Handler is pretty much just phoning it in at this point. There are still some laughs, but the tactics reminded me of the capstone paper I turned in for my major in undergrad: it’s not that it was bad, it’s just that the obvious attempts to make it seem like more than it was were probably an insult to my professor. The book clocks in at 244 pages, but it’s probably actually only about 90 pages long. The font has been bumped up to about 17 points, the margins are pushed to nearly 3 inches, and ...more
This book is really 3.5 stars. If it hadn't fizzled at the end, I would have given it 4.
The book starts off with a bang (hence the title?). The first chapter is called "The Feeling" and it's all about how Chelsea discovered masturbation when she was in the 3rd grade. I could not believe it. The story was embarrassing and hilarious all at the same time. That's how I'd describe this book. There were many laugh out loud moments. One moment in particular is where Chelsea and he...more
The book starts off with a bang (hence the title?). The first chapter is called "The Feeling" and it's all about how Chelsea discovered masturbation when she was in the 3rd grade. I could not believe it. The story was embarrassing and hilarious all at the same time. That's how I'd describe this book. There were many laugh out loud moments. One moment in particular is where Chelsea and he...more
I read "Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea" and enjoyed it. However, “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang” made me cringe. When you resort to stupid situations for laughs you need a new gig.
The first chapter about an 8-year-old Chelsea obsessively masturbating was pathetic. The emails between the writer and her siblings weren't entertaining, just plain boring. Her practical jokes as she grow up wear thin very quickly and I found myself wondering why I was reading this drivel. Then I rea...more
The first chapter about an 8-year-old Chelsea obsessively masturbating was pathetic. The emails between the writer and her siblings weren't entertaining, just plain boring. Her practical jokes as she grow up wear thin very quickly and I found myself wondering why I was reading this drivel. Then I rea...more
Read the first few pages...
The second page is her at 8 years old learning to masturbate at a slumber party...alrighty then!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>2 weeks, and a few pages later:
The more I read, the more I realize I don't like her. Small doses are better. Offically demoted to bathroom reading...
The second page is her at 8 years old learning to masturbate at a slumber party...alrighty then!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>2 weeks, and a few pages later:
The more I read, the more I realize I don't like her. Small doses are better. Offically demoted to bathroom reading...
Supposedly this is a memoir of Chelsea's hilarious life adventures, but I had the impression that the stories are so grossly exaggerated that she would have done better to write fiction. A self-avowed compulsive liar doesn't have the same effect on me that a more believable comic might. There is no point to the caricatures or the overstatements, no theme, no real motive for a book at all. I'm well aware that comics make up/embellish stories to lead up to their jokes, but usually there is some ov...more
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Chelsea Handler has become one of entertainment’s most sought after and versatile rising stars. In July 2007, Chelsea broke into the world of late-night talk shows with her E! Entertainment series, “Chelsea Lately,” airing weeknights at 11:00 p.m. Consistently the network’s highest-rated program, “Chelsea Lately” offers a tongue-in-cheek look at entertainment news, celebrity truths and rumors that...more
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“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.”
—
37 people liked it
“Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.”
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35 people liked it
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