Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

3.76 of 5 stars 3.76  ·  rating details  ·  30,071 ratings  ·  2,289 reviews
The hilarious new book from the star of Chelsea Lately and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.

Get ready for big laughs as Chelsea Handler lets loose with more comic personal essays. In this new, no-holds-barred account of life on the ridiculous side, Chelsea mines the wealth of material that is her family, her sex life, her c

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Hardcover, 244 pages
Published March 9th 2010 by Grand Central Publishing
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Bossypants by Tina FeyIs Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy KalingLet's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny  LawsonAre You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea HandlerMy Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler
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Community Reviews

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Chantay
CC memo from Ms. Handlers desk: "Hey everyone I'm famous." "I'm so famous I don't even have to apply myself to actually admit my stories make my already outlandish diatribes sound believable or even funny." Thank you, for constantly reminding us how obviously much more "down-to-earth" you try to pretend to be (At the time you had)with that fancy-new-state-the-of-art-CEO-Boyfriend with accessories. Someone needs to stop drinking the bright pink kool-aid of delusion. For nondenominational sake you...more
Brandi Leigh
Only got half way through before I quit because felt like I was at a high school reunion with Chelsea and she couldn't shut up about her twenty years her senior boyfriend, who by the way OWNS the company that produces her show -it's on E! every night at 9pm/11pm/1am- therefore is her boss but she tells him to [enter graphic detail while i look awkwardly at man who is Clooney's age without his appeal] in bed, then retelling highly unlikely stories of her masturbatory girl scout years (hello! we w...more
R.
Apr 07, 2010 R. marked it as to-read
More foulmouthed hijinks by America's favorite White Trash Jewish American Princess!

Though, a fault thus far noticed: Chelsea's essay on her campaign for getting the Cabbage Patch Kid which will set her apart on the playground ends with a photograph of Young Miss Handler holding aforementioned Cabbage Patch Doll -a sort of trophy shot.

But, throughout the essay, she describes the Doll of her Dreams as being brunette. The one in the photograph is blonde. Which is it, Chelsea? Which. Is. It?

Also...more
Kristieanna
The only thing, other than self violation, that got me through my divorce, was Chelsea Handler. However, I never followed through on the actual getting divorced piece of the divorce process so, this book actually sucks.
Kyla
I actually really enjoyed the 3rd book, maybe even more than the other 2. I liked that a lot of the stories involved Ted and the practical jokes he has to live through. I also LOVED that there were pictures involved throughout the book...it made the story lines much more believable and gave a great visual to go with her short stories. Because I watch her show nightly, I can see the stories play out much more clearly than I would be able to if I was just a reader w/ no knowledge of her sense of h...more
Michelle Williams
CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is a book that was loaned to me by a coworker. Having just finished my last book, I had yet to pick up a new one. So I started reading. It is not a book I would typically pick out for myself but it was really entertaining!

From the get go, I felt incredibly wrong for reading it. So much so that after reading the first three pages and feeling like a pedofile for continuing to read, I almost returned it. I then wondered about the direction the book could possibly take and...more
Stephen
This is one of those books that you read and you say to yourself, "Holy shit, I REALLY could write a book better than this shitty thing!" So thank you, Chelsea Lately, for motivating all writing enthusiasts out there, whether intentional or not.

This was quite a drop in quality after Are You There, Vodka? Chelsea Lately's new book starts out, well, weird, with a 30-page discussion of an eight-year-old Chelsea Lately's first year of masturbatory discovery. Yeah, there is an ick-factor. If you want...more
Peter
Dec 16, 2012 Peter marked it as to-read

EDITORIAL REVIEW: ***WHAT . . . A RIOT! *** Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of *Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea* delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair

...more
Abbey Garnett
1. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is a collection of short essays that Chelsea has written about her childhood to her adulthood. Readers learn all about Handler, from her strange family to her mistakes with men. These life stories are so funny to read coming from the comedian Chelsea Handler.

2. I gave this book four stars. I thought most of the stories were hilarious, but I did enjoy Are You There Vodka? Its Me, Chelsea more than this book. I thought it was a great read to come home to after a stres...more
Nicole
Chelsea Handler, where have you been all my life?! In reality, we could never be friends because we both like to be the center of attention too much but I enjoy reading your books and knowing that I am not the only one who tells innocent lies to my friends to see if they will believe me, gets myself into amazingly embarrassing situations, and always embellishes an outrageous story just a little to make it more fun to tell.

While Ms. Handler's first books focused on one night stands and excessive...more
Tali Autovino
This book is one of my top five favorite books of all time. As I was meandering the humor section of the library one Saturday, I stopped as soon as I saw this book. Chelsea Handler is one of my idols, so I couldn't even wait to checkout the book in order to start reading it. I read fifty pages standing in the exact location in the exact same aisle for an ample amount of time, unconcerned with the fact that I might have looked rather odd laughing uncontrollably in the middle of the aisle.

The book...more
Beatnik Mary
http://www.cozylittlebookjournal.com/...

To say this book was disjointed would be an understatement. It’s downright schizophrenic. It jumps wildly from childhood memories to relationship stories to drunken ramblings with little to no connection form one to the next. I am not very familiar with Chelsea Handler except that I always feel like I should like her more than I do. Many of my friends like her and many other comics I enjoy seem to like her (such as Kathy Griffin). From time to time, I’ll t...more
dontouchmychocolate
Starting with the gross cover of lifting up her skirt to a DOG, this book was crass and lame.
Chelsea Handler was trying too damn hard.

The first chapter was....crude, stupid, awkward and nauseating. I tried to find the humour in an 8-year-old girl who discovered her vagina and her masturbating adventures but all I thought was how stupid and unfunny it was. The second chapter didn't get a giggle out of me, either, and I saw no point in trying to read any more.

I also found it strange that an 8-ye...more
Annalynn
How much did I hate this book? Let me count the ways...

1. The masturbation chapter that opens the book. An ENTIRE chapter, about EIGHT year old Chelsea and friends masturbating at slumber parties. Really?? I have an eight year old. And I was an eight year old once. Maybe in junior high, but SECOND GRADERS?? I don't think so. And it just went on and on and on. I kept reading, though, because I thought to myself, can it really be this bad? Surely this is all a joke? And yet, the rest of the book...more
Emily
I write this review having enjoyed her other books, that were, you know, funny and outrageous stories, so my issue isn't really her subject matter. That said: this is a rambling bunch of foul-mouthed musings, none of which add up to single comprehensible story or even funny anecdote with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Each chapter is basically:

1) Intro the story with a horrifying metaphor, set up what could has potential for a funny story
2) Jam in a sidebar of something totally unrelated th...more
Bilgewater
Chelsea is great, but this book is "a hot mess".

The first two or three chapters are fun, but then Chelsea runs out of steam or something and just falls on her face.

The book dies for me in the middle somewhere, when Chelsea tells a rather sleazy story about trying to get her chauffeur some action on vacation, and it turns into a drunken spectacle with some insane woman calling Chelsea a bitch and pushing her around a little.

That chapter is clearly missing details, either because they're too st...more
Sarah
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is the third memoir by the ever-entertaining comedian Chelsea Handler. If you can't handle nasty or raunchy, then this book isn't for you -- but if you loved Sarah Silverman's The Bedwetter and all of Jenny McCarthy's memoirs, then make sure to pick this one up.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is comprised of stories about random, crazy adventures and incidents from Handler's past. This specific memoir also includes pictures to go along with the stories, which is an excellent...more
Arelis
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jlaurenmc
Chelsea Handler is a nut, no doubt about it. If you didn't gather that from her two previous humorous memoir/ essay collections, you'll definitely know it after reading her latest book release, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. The title reminds me, of course, of the 1968 Roald Dahl film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but the titles are where the similarities begin and end, except for perhaps the ludicracy (word, or not a word?) involved in both.

Famous for her talk show Chelsea Lately on entertainment cable...more
Apzmarshl
Jul 04, 2010 Apzmarshl rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommended to Apzmarshl by: ayone with a stomach hardened by alcohol comsumption
I have feelings of guilt and shame that I spent the first wee hours of our Nation's Independence Day once again reeled in by the likes of Chelsea Handler. I upped my stars on this book from the 2 stars given on her two prior books to three. This is completely and totally because of the parts written....or possibly not written, now that I am better acquainted with her habitual lying.....by her siblings, whom I find to be much funnier than Chelsea herself.
Her prankster/inability to tell the truth...more
Debs
This book was terrible. I love love love Chelsea Handler - I think her dry, quick wit is unmatched. I also enjoy watching her attack her panel of comedians, and the way she engages people she's never met and shoots the shit with guests that she obviously knows and adores.

That being said: this book has none of the wit or charm that makes me tune into her show This is a slapped together piece of shit where she simply tells stories about her vacations and her family without grace or humor. It lack...more
-k The Lady Critic
I don’t think that I’ve laughed so much during a book than I did with this one. Seriously, I thought that I would wake up the neighbourhood at three in the morning while I was still reading this book last night because I could not put it down.

It’s a series of essays/stories that, to be honest, I have no idea if they’re complete lies, slightly untold truths, or blatant elaborations but I also don’t care. This book was hilarious, witty, and downright fun. Sure, I could have easily stopped at the e...more
Kate
My sister left me a copy of Chelsea Handler's new novel Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang. If I find myself having insomnia and up late, I tune in to her late night talk show on E! She is raunchy and snarky. I first started watching her on the web series, "In The Motherhood". She was so funny in the role as a mother. Her character was a a hapless mother who would rather be having a cocktail than making sure her kids were doing homework. She was also on Girls Behaving Badly for a while, but I only saw a...more
Eric Klee
CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is another great collection of stories from the hilarious Chelsea Handler. I brought it on vacation with me and enjoyed the light and easy poolside and beachside reading. I laughed out loud from her viewpoint of "Sex and the City" and many of her other quirky, sarcastic observations.

Chelsea is at her best when talking about the weird predicaments that she finds herself in, whether at work, in her social life, or with her family members. Her stories aren't as fun, thoug...more
Deirdre
I'm not much for most comedians. It's not that I don't get the comedy, but I think I just prefer that it be a bit cleaner. I have a comedy threshold, apparently, where if it gets too dirty, I just don't think it's funny anymore. Most of Chelsea Handler's brand of humor falls into the "too dirty" category for me.

This book begins with a chapter about "the feeling." She makes no bones about jumping right in and talking about orgasms and dry-humping everything in sight and masturbating and her "cos...more
Meagan
I am a huge Chelsea Handler fan. I've read her other two books and this is definitely not her best. Her other two books seemed filled with hilarious stories that made me not want to put the book down, whereas this book had some moments/chapters where I just wanted to keep reading to get through that boring section of the book.

Don't get me wrong I for sure had many laugh out loud moments, and was entertained by her shenanigans and stories but it seems very thrown together as a book in general. T...more
Grace
I am a fan of Chelsea Handler's late night talks how on E! and an avid recommender of her two previous books about the craziness that is her life. However, Handler's third effort, "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" falls short, especially in compared to the laugh out loud until you cried stories of her previous two books.

I don't know if the lack of hilarity is due to a rush on the author's part to get the book to print or if she is slacking because she knows she has a solid fan base. I certainly hope...more
Ronald Wise
At first this book seemed to be written purely for shock value, but either it got funnier along the way, or I became inured to the crudity and more attuned to the hilarity - eventually laughing out loud on occasion. Chandler ranks up there with David and Amy Sedaris when it comes to using revelations regarding family and lovers for the sake of shock and amusement, but I would like to think that some of these stories did not really happen, or that there was at least some comedic exaggeration. But...more
Alexandra
Some parts of this book, really random parts, had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Behold:

-I leaped up from the sofa and announced I felt a bout of diarrhea coming on, which was really the only ailment my father ever took seriously.
"What did she eat?" he asked my mother.
"Cat shit," I said, running out of the room. "The kids at school made me eat cat shit today, because I'm wearing jeans from Sears."


-This is where he finds Nim, his eight-year-old daughter he's left for several weeks alon...more
Shannon
I have loved Chelsea Handler since I read her first book, which is her best book by far. To me, I don't think she will ever top her first book, and this fear was confirmed with Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea. That book seemed hurried and thrown together, with the stories going on FAR longer and being FAR more outrageously unbelievable than the first attempt. What she seemed to lose focus of was that the first book had been so good because there was a certain amount of believability in each...more
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Chelsea Handler has become one of entertainment’s most sought after and versatile rising stars. In July 2007, Chelsea broke into the world of late-night talk shows with her E! Entertainment series, “Chelsea Lately,” airing weeknights at 11:00 p.m. Consistently the network’s highest-rated program, “Chelsea Lately” offers a tongue-in-cheek look at entertainment news, celebrity truths and rumors that...more
More about Chelsea Handler...
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands: A Collection of One-Night Stands Life As I Blow It: Tales Of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily In That Order

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“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.” 78 people liked it
“Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.” 53 people liked it
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