The Loving Dominant
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The Loving Dominant

3.81 of 5 stars 3.81  ·  rating details  ·  223 ratings  ·  21 reviews
John Warren, known as "Mentor" to the many who have read his books or hearkened to his sage advice at his workshops and gatherings, brought his decades of BDSM experience to his classic manual "The Loving Dominant". Out of print for several years, this classic is now available once again, now in a revised and updated second edition in a quality trade binding.From its advic...more
Paperback, 240 pages
Published May 1st 2000 by Greenery Press (CA) (first published 1994)
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Domination & Submission by Michael MakaiScrew the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip MillerSM 101 by Jay WisemanThe Loving Dominant by John  WarrenDifferent Loving by Gloria G. Brame
Best BDSM non-fiction
4th out of 54 books — 48 voters
Domination & Submission by Michael MakaiSM 101 by Jay WisemanScrew the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip MillerDifferent Loving by Gloria G. BrameThe Control Book by Peter     Masters
Helpful BDSM Non-Fiction
120th out of 120 books — 37 voters

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 589)
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Mrs. Missive
Okay...this book turned out to be very not what I was looking for. This book is written for a Dominant...not a sub. There was maybe one page that was useful for a sub looking to introduce his/her S/O into dominance. And the author actually made the comment that it was only in there to increase book sales.

There were sections that included how to find a sub, the club scene, and a lot of S/M stuff that I frankly skipped over because it's not my kink.

There were some basic rope tying tips, and some...more
Stephanie "Jedigal"
May 28, 2009 Stephanie "Jedigal" rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Stephanie "Jedigal" by: Dinie
Not a thorough overview, more of a discussion on starting out and how to learn and move from beginner to more experienced, more specific on scene creation and ideas. This author canNOT spell, but the information seems sound. His bias is towards very SLOW increases in intensity, and introducing only one element per scene that is new to the players. (New to these players means new to them as a unit, even if they have experience with that element with other players.) I really appreciate the caution...more
Jason Pettus
the classic beginner's guide to the sexual practice of bdsm (bondage, domination, sadism and masochism), this book reinforces throughout how the "dominant" position in such a relationship is actually a caring, loving one towards the submissive partner in question. if you've ever needed to understand what "safe words" are, or how one goes about having a "consensual master/slave relationship," this is the book for you.
Alex Lowe
This is a nice book. It's well-written, and has a balanced viewpoint from both sides of the fence. It seems at first like it might be closed-minded (see reference above to heterosexual, male-dominance), but any intelligent person can quickly recognise that the only reason this is so is because this is only viewpoint from which the authors have any authority to write. After all, they are in a heterosexual, male-dominant partnership!

I enjoyed reading this for the insights it provided into the "lo...more
I read this because I was convinced that the central character in most romance novels is this ultra dominant heterosexual guy in various guises dependent on the specific genre.

Within it I found the following quote to support that theory: ""Before I got into a relationship with a romance author I had always dismissed romance novels as chaste escapism. They may be escapism, but they are not chaste. A husband who discovers dominant tendencies and whose wife reads authors like Rosemary Rogers, Jayn...more
Paul Hampson
Fantastic! Its a great introduction for those wanting to take the dominant role in any BDSM relationship. I would go so far as to say that its essential. Everything from finding partners, exploring one's motives and expectations, to making toys. The only other book that compares to it for the dominant / top role is 'The Topping Book'. If you're interested in this role in this kind of relationship, its well worth the price.
Difficult to get started with this book at first. Learned a considerable amount from the Dominants perspective.
This is NOT a fictional book; it is a manual. I'm a switch, but in my current relationship, I generally take the Domme role. My sub asked me to read this book when we got together and am I ever glad I did! It has some great tips for Doms/Dommes, including explanations on how to make the relationship work safely both emotionally and physically for both the Dominant and the submissive. A lot of FICTION today skips over the emotional well-being and it frightens me that people may think that's how t...more
Jade Cary
Very informative. I learned a lot, mostly to quash my assumptions about BDSM, D/s relationships. John did a great job of explaining not only the psychological aspect of the lifestyle, but the physical--most important, for me, being the safety and respect aspect. Not being in the lifestyle, nor remotely interested in being in the lifestyle, this was nevertheless a great and informative read.
Violet Gregory
I bought this as a Kindle book while I was doing research for my Butterfly series. I wanted to explore the possibility of someone being dominant or submissive, without it necessarily involving sadistic or masochistic behaviour. I found this book really helpful and discovered to my delight that relationships involving dominance and submission do not need to involve pain and hurting.
Meh. I'm kinda ambivalent about kink books. Love kink. Love books. But the two together seem to suck the life out of the scene. Not authors' fault. Just somehow the scene collectively decided to drink it straight. Even with 'your mileage may vary' disclaimers. Grateful for the info. Miss the mystery.
Rachael Davis
The only reason this one doesn't get a higher rating is because the editor clearly didn't do their job on the first edition of this book (which is the one I have and read). I really need to buy the updated edition. Other than the editing's a pretty good book.
Lyn Armstrong
I'm currently reading this book and it is very, very good for anyone who is researching or looking into the BDSM lifestyle. I found the authors funny and easy to follow. I recommend this book.
Lyn Armstrong
Jul 20, 2007 Shannon rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: BDSMers
Shelves: sexuality
Very accessible - romantic and readable. Will foster great ideas for your sex life. This is a very likeable book that I would even recommend to those not into BDSM per ce, but open to expaning their sex files.
May 27, 2007 Linus rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: New Hetreo Dominants
The first few chapters are not bad but it drags and the New Topping book is far better, IMO. It's also very hetreo in narrative. Not bad but very drab.
Red Phoenix
This book gives you a different side to BDSM. Even though it is a really OLD book, I still found useful information.
Jessie B.
This book had a fair bit of practical knowledge but it was fairly hetro focused.
Some interesting thoughts and perspectives, but all in all your basic BDSM primer. Solid tome.
What a great book with lots of details. I had no idea about BDSM until I read this primer
M.H.S. Pourri
I read the digital version, it was fine for the topic, but I thought it was light on the practices.
Samara Gagne
One of the better works out there.
Kassandra marked it as to-read
Sep 14, 2014
Elisabeth Aldridge
Elisabeth Aldridge marked it as to-read
Sep 11, 2014
Henna marked it as to-read
Sep 09, 2014
Jean Greene
Jean Greene marked it as to-read
Sep 06, 2014
Ella marked it as to-read
Sep 03, 2014
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This is John Warren (aka Mentor), author of several books on BDSM topics, inc. The Loving Dominant.
More about John Warren...
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