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The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are
by
Kevin Leman
Dr. Kevin Leman's ever-popular book on birth order is getting a new look and updated writing. With insight and wit, Dr. Leman offers readers a fascinating and often funny look at how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children. Birth order powerfully influences the way people interact with others, whether they're at ho...more
Paperback, 343 pages
Published
October 1st 2009
by Fleming H. Revell Company
(first published December 31st 1985)
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I got this book on a recommendation from a friend and I'm sorry to say I was quite disappointed in it (Sorry, Kelly!). Leman's findings are vague stereotypes, backed up by anecdotal evidence mostly from his own family.
He didn't have much more insight beyond the ideas that first borns are either stern perfectionists or overly eager to please, middle children are negotiators, and the baby of the family is a charming iconoclast. He did say that the birth order can start over with la...more
He didn't have much more insight beyond the ideas that first borns are either stern perfectionists or overly eager to please, middle children are negotiators, and the baby of the family is a charming iconoclast. He did say that the birth order can start over with la...more
A hilarious and insightful read! I learned a lot about myself, my husband, parents, and siblings while reading this book. Though my family is a weird make up his chapters on each birth order described each of my siblings to a T (Clark and I are first born personalities, Becca is and only child, and Thayne is a Middle). Also his chapters on perfectionism were incredible! I learned a lot about myself, having never thought of myself as a perfectionist I realized that according to his definition I...more
The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman (pp. 368)
Kevin Leman, a popular family psychologist and prolific writer, provides a very readable overview of how birth order influences who you are. Leman writes in a conversational style interspersing anecdotal examples and easily to understand breakdowns of each order archetype.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up the book. As with many popular psychology books, you can lean either heavily into the dry, data heavy presen...more
Kevin Leman, a popular family psychologist and prolific writer, provides a very readable overview of how birth order influences who you are. Leman writes in a conversational style interspersing anecdotal examples and easily to understand breakdowns of each order archetype.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up the book. As with many popular psychology books, you can lean either heavily into the dry, data heavy presen...more
Shannon
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommended to Shannon by:
Melissa Culbreth Benson
Shelves:
nonfiction
I started to give this book three stars and then thought, "Well, it's a non-fiction book that I actually read. That probably merits four stars in and of itself." While I read quite a bit, I don't read non-fiction. If a book isn't going to transport me somewhere else, I'm generally not excited about reading it. Life is real enough for me without reading about it, too.
What I enjoyed about this book was that it helped me understand myself better, which I hope will ultimate...more
What I enjoyed about this book was that it helped me understand myself better, which I hope will ultimate...more
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This is one of those books that you pick up and read quickly - I skimmed here and there as I went. I found the information interesting, but took much of it with a grain of salt because many of his main points were explained away when exceptions came up. The tone of the book is very entertaining and I appreciate his use of personal experiences, but the personal experiences seemed to take up the bulk of the book.
According to his prescription of an oldest child I fit the mold to the T a...more
According to his prescription of an oldest child I fit the mold to the T a...more
well. There is so much i have to say about this book, and not enough time to type it! You can believe this book or not-the choice is yours- but either way it is a QUITE entertaining read. It basically tells you,no, actually it states quite clearly that you are like __________ because you are a (insert birth order here)
For instance I learned some supposedly need to know things abou myself, givin I am a first born:
1. I am very demending, perfectionist(well maybe i am a bit of a p...more
For instance I learned some supposedly need to know things abou myself, givin I am a first born:
1. I am very demending, perfectionist(well maybe i am a bit of a p...more
This was an entertaining book, and definitely held some truths within it. I wouldn't call it "life changing" by any means, but it offers some insights into how a person's position within his or her family can shape his or her personality. Most of Leman's claims come from personal experience as a father and counselor, not through any kind of scientific study (as can be easily inferred from the only 6 pages of endnotes for a 350 page book!) so while most of what he says makes sense, yo...more
What stuck with me from this book: 1) Firstborns across the board tend to be over-parented, which can turn them into perfectionists and/or procrastinators (the two are linked). Lighten up, parents! Firstborns need to feel free to be kids, need to feel allowed to try and also fail. Another interesting point he makes is that gender factors in in birth order. The oldest boy and the oldest girl can both show "firstborn" characteristics. Similarly, if you have a string of kids one gender an...more
This book describes people's personality/behavior based on birth order. It gives pretty good insight.
I read it to help me understand my middle child better since I couldn't relate to her.
Overall I liked the book and would reccommend it to understand both yourself and your children better.
I read it to help me understand my middle child better since I couldn't relate to her.
Overall I liked the book and would reccommend it to understand both yourself and your children better.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found it to be quite enlightening for my overachieving, over responsible perfectionistic first-born self. I have never studied or even considered birth order before but it really does make sense. There are many family requirements, responsibilities and privileges given to us based on our order in the family. My brother is a classic youngest sibling. He is the life of the party, while I maintained order. It would be interesting to see how these characteristics i...more
The fun thing was that I read it on the plane as I went to spend some time with my parents and all my siblings in North Dakota so I was disappointed when I didn't find many of Leman's assertions to correlate with them nor my children. Leman has so many exceptions to his basic premises that he just explains them away. I am the youngest in my family and identified much better with his assessment of oldest and middle children and hardly at all with that of youngest. I don't think that any of the ...more
A fun read if you take it for a grain of salt. First borns (me) are often perfectionists which can make them aggressive and/or drive them to please everyone. Middle kids go the opposite way. Tend to move away from home, etc. Youngests are the clowns. Bad with money.
So certainly there are traits that are going to apply to all of us in some way. But if they don't apply, the author supplies a long list of exceptions-- like how many boys or girls are in a family and what the spacing is and...more
So certainly there are traits that are going to apply to all of us in some way. But if they don't apply, the author supplies a long list of exceptions-- like how many boys or girls are in a family and what the spacing is and...more
My mother-in-law forced me to read this because she claimed that it would answer all my questions about my second-born. (She herself is a second-born.) Instead, it was basically stupid and confusing. There were more exceptions than rules to his theory. Basically, almost anyone can be considered a firstborn. You just have to have more than 2 or 3 years between you and your next older sibling. Or be a different gender than your older siblings. Or.... It was extremely unhelpful, and (apparently) in...more
There were some interesting ideas in this book with respect to how birth order influences how different children are treated and how this may affect their personalities. I do feel that there are so many exceptions to the rules and people (parents and children) are just so different that we shouldn't over analyze birth order affects and try to see something where there isn't anything to see. The general idea as it applies to parenting is something I find useful though. If you are aware that paren...more
This is truly a book I think everyone should read. It's fascinating to think about how much birth order in families shapes and influences personalities. I am one of 5 siblings, and I related so much to the characteristics and traits discussed by Dr. Leman - for myself as well as for my siblings. (Finally, I understand why they are the way they are!!) He also offers great insight into the positive and negatives of personality characteristics - and what you can do about them. Great book - I think ...more
If the concept of birth order affecting your personality and behavior is new to you, you'll probably find this book valuable and worthwhile. Having some basic knowledge of the subject I didn't find the book to be particularly enlightening. The three things I took away from the book are: Dr. Leman is a last born and he's proud of it, Dr. Leman can usually guess your birth order within a few minutes of meeting you and Dr. Leman feels sorry for first borns and only children who usually struggle wit...more
It's amazing how closely this book follows the character traits of my kids! It's definitely worth a look if you have kids. It helped me understand my own personality via my birth order and also how to deal with my kids a little better. Because of that, it helped strengthen our family and relationships. Also, I realized how we identify better with friends of the same birth order. "Birds of a feather do flock together!"
I also found it interesting that extenuating circumsta...more
I also found it interesting that extenuating circumsta...more
Jessica
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Sally, well, pretty much anyone who can keep an open mind and not be cynical!
Recommended to Jessica by:
Vikki
Shelves:
non-fiction,
books_i_re-read
Now I am reviewing the NEW Birth Order edition, and it is what I would absolutely recommend. This book is fascinating to me. But to start let me just say that if you are cynical about his methods or theories, then you will finish the book still being a cynic. But if you are open to seeing how birth order can affect your personality - even if it varies some and there are exceptions to the rule as there always are - then you will LOVE this book as I did. I've grown up as an only child, married int...more
The Birth Order was interesting. It's a book one of my mothers friends owned and was raving about it and let me borrow to read. It had many facts and points that I never really thought about before. How the order in which you are born effects who you are. Wether it be a firstborn, middle child , or baby. Only child, step child and adopted. There are many of exceptions to the rules. Sometimes you may be of a certain birth order but do to circumstance you may be a firstborn and carry the character...more
after reading this book, i have to wonder if i didn't take the wrong academic path in school. i think i was supposed to be a psych major instead! this book was food for my psychological-loving soul. :0) an easy, easy read...and i love leman's sense of humor!
i first picked up this book because i'm an only child who is now the mother of three. i discovered early on that i was mystified and completely interested in the dynamics between my children, even at their young ages of 4, 2 ...more
i first picked up this book because i'm an only child who is now the mother of three. i discovered early on that i was mystified and completely interested in the dynamics between my children, even at their young ages of 4, 2 ...more
Oh, we need to talk, and laugh, about our own birth order. I am a classic older child and Joel is a typical younger child.
It's more interesting for me to review the adults I know, rather than look at my kids, but it will also help me negotiate the behavior of my own children given their birth order.
I laughed until I cried when I read “As the firstborn continues to grow up into adulthood, he or she may exaggerate the importance of rules and laws.” My dream job would be ...more
It's more interesting for me to review the adults I know, rather than look at my kids, but it will also help me negotiate the behavior of my own children given their birth order.
I laughed until I cried when I read “As the firstborn continues to grow up into adulthood, he or she may exaggerate the importance of rules and laws.” My dream job would be ...more
I really enjoyed this book. It didn't present a whole lot of NEW information to me, but it did make me look at those around me in a different light and particularly my own kids. The section on parenting was right on the money if not a little overwhelming. (The list of do's and don't's was helpful but intimidating.) It did inspire me to add his parenting book to my "to read" list. I think this book is helpful to understanding personalities of those we interact with and possibly lea...more
Not only is this book fun to read and also quite funny, but it's also pretty darn helpful in gaining greater understanding of how personalities can be shaped by position in the family. Like any book of generalizations, not all of the characteristics attributed to the only, first, middle, or last child fit any given person, but at our last family gathering, everyone was able to see some of themselves and others in Leman's descriptions- there was plenty of laughter and, "That is SO Mom,"...more
irst born? Only child? Middle child? Baby of the Family? Find out what it means to you, your relationships and your career.
You are going to notice a lot of the books I read attempt to answer “Why is the world this way?” and “Why am I am the way I am?”
Well, if you are an older child, you have some natural leadership skills, tend to be more traditional, and often are a perfectionist. You are often high level executives – like most of our Presidents.
If you are an...more
You are going to notice a lot of the books I read attempt to answer “Why is the world this way?” and “Why am I am the way I am?”
Well, if you are an older child, you have some natural leadership skills, tend to be more traditional, and often are a perfectionist. You are often high level executives – like most of our Presidents.
If you are an...more
Dr. Leman is convinenced that your birth order has a dominate influence on your personality and world view. It explains your coping methods, your approach to people & situations, and the each birth order's strengths & weaknesses.
Why I picked this book up: Ever since my roommate Kelley talked about birth order back in college I have been meaning to read more about it. When they handed out the free book at PLA I knew that it was the time.
Why I finished this book: Dr...more
Why I picked this book up: Ever since my roommate Kelley talked about birth order back in college I have been meaning to read more about it. When they handed out the free book at PLA I knew that it was the time.
Why I finished this book: Dr...more
Want to improve your marriage, colleagues, friends, dealing with your boss or subordinates, increase sales? ... This is a must read, at least the first half of the book. It's of course not the answer to all your relationship idiosyncrasies, but it will identify some of the key elements. And you will laugh all the way. The second half of the book is essential for parents with children at home; the younger the better. Learn how to help them avoid some of the negative traits inherent in most people...more
This was the most enjoyable, most SPOT ON psycology book I've read so far. Leman does a terrific job of writing so that the concepts he presents are comprehensive, yet intellegent; without the pretention that so irritates me about many psychologists.
I was amazed at how much I could fit myself, my siblings, my parents, my husband and his family and my kids into his explainations of how birth order effect our personalities. And I love that he is not so absolute about his definitions ei...more
I was amazed at how much I could fit myself, my siblings, my parents, my husband and his family and my kids into his explainations of how birth order effect our personalities. And I love that he is not so absolute about his definitions ei...more
He has some interesting theories, but gives himself WAY too much credit and has too much faith in his own Kool-Aid. I'm not a huge supporter of psycho-babble, so mostly I just saw a lot of bad parenting in this book. Hearing about parents that hide their flaws and raise their children to be spoiled and self-centered doesn't make me a believer in his theories, it just makes me think there are a lot of bad parents out there whose children landed on a psychologists sofa.
I am fascinated by birth order and find that I value the affect that it has on our personality and how we interact with others moreso than anything. This book is so entertaining, and very funny. It helps me to interact with others from their perspective at home, work, community, etc. It is a must read, and for me, I re-read it often. The problem is, I keep loaning it out and then forget where it is..... I've bought it 3 times, so it must be fantastic!
I enjoyed learning more about birth order and how it can help mold the person you become. It was really fun to read the book and then think about my family and my husband's, how the siblings lined up and how well they fit their positions as described by the author. They all fit pretty well. It's not a sure, concrete science by any means, but it is uncanny how we all seem to just fall into our places. He also discussed how being the only sibling of a certain sex (for example: the youngest is also...more
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Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally recognized psychologist, author, and media personality. He was the first to popularize Adlerian psychological concepts in the United States, which are based on birth-order and family dynamics. Dr. Leman holds Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctorate degrees in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona.
Dr. Leman is the founder and president of "...more
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