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Shatnerquake

by Jeff Burk (Goodreads Author)

3.53 of 5 stars 3.53 · rating details · 323 ratings · 99 reviews

After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be...more

Paperback, 100 pages

Published April 15th 2009 by Eraserhead Press

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Jun 07, 2011 Stephen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: ebooks, bizarro, 2006-2010, humor-and-satire, science-fiction, reality-sucks

HOLY SHATNER you are not going to believe this SHAT. Stuffed and crammedberried within the bizarro pages of this "mini-me" novella/novelette is not only THE William Shatner, but also Captain James T. Kirk… DENNY CRANE!... T.J. Hooker… Rescue 911 Shatner… Priceline.com Shatner… Evil Bill Shatner (from SNL)… Twilight Zone Shatner… and even Esperanto Shatner (from 1965 film Incubus)...I SHAT YOU NOT ON THIS!!!

This is basically a 75 page mind-blowing, ego stroking, SHATNERGASTIC "love me fest" that...more

31 likes · like · see review

Mar 22, 2012 Dan Schwent rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: bizarro, 2011, cool-covers, great-titles

A miserable William Shatner is attending ShatnerCon when Campbellians attempt to set off a Reality Bomb to erase his work from existence for the glory of almighty Bruce. The bomb malfunctions and various characters portrayed by William Shatner come to life, bent on killing Shatner, letting nothing stand in their way. Can William Shatner survive?

ShatnerQuake is awesome, no two ways about it. From William Shatner looking down on his fans to Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Rescue 911 Shatner, and C...more

52 likes · like · see review

Apr 29, 2011 Kathryn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, bizarro

First, Marvin, thank you reading this and then letting me borrow it. The book was a wonderful bit of fun. :)

My first thoughts before reading this book involved a slight worry that I was not versed enough in Shatner's career to catch all of the jokes. I was afraid the book would rely on inside-humor too much. Thankfully, this did not happen and I'm fairly certain I caught all of the funny bits. Before I started the actual book, I was already laughing due to Burk's request for Shatner's considerat...more

7 likes · like · see review

Jan 22, 2011 Chris rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, science-fiction, satire

In the introduction to this book, the author states that he truly admires William Shatner - he states that Shatner is a man who has made a career out of caricaturing himself, remaking himself over and over again with no looking back, no shame and - as far as we know - no regrets. He finishes by kindly asking William Shatner not to sue him.

I don't think he has too much to worry about, really. This book is a quick, fun read that, while not necessarily painting William Shatner in the best of lights...more

4 likes · like · see review

Sep 01, 2011 Anthony Chavez rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: bizarro

Oh what a load of Shat, I mean literally LOADS of Shatner's everywhere!

I'm going to breeze through the summary just as the book breezed by me, not in a bad way, in a couldn't stop reading way. Shatner shows up at his first Shatner-Con, some Bruce Campbell'ians set off a reality bomb that goes sideways sending all of Shatner's characters he has ever played to life. Then it becomes all out chaos as the real William Shatner tries to escape the convention with his life!

I really really enjoyed the co...more

7 likes · like · see review

Apr 20, 2013 Sheldon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Do you remember that scene in “Being John Malkovich” where Malkovich steps into his own head and winds up in a world where everyone is John Malkovich and says nothing but “Malkovich” repeatedly? Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk is kind of like that.

While it's a satire/parody, it's also a loving tribute to William Shatner. Taking place at Shatnercon. the Campellians (cultish followers of Bruce Campbell) plant a fiction bomb in the theaters where they're showing Shatner's past works. But something goes w...more Do you remember that scene in “Being John Malkovich” where Malkovich steps into his own head and winds up in a world where everyone is John Malkovich and says nothing but “Malkovich” repeatedly? Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk is kind of like that.

While it's a satire/parody, it's also a loving tribute to William Shatner. Taking place at Shatnercon. the Campellians (cultish followers of Bruce Campbell) plant a fiction bomb in the theaters where they're showing Shatner's past works. But something goes wrong, and instead of erasing Shatner's work from everyone's memory like it's supposed to do, it brings all of Shatner's characters to life. All of them!

I have to give Burk credit to bringing not only Shatner's most famous roles like Captain Kirk or Denny Crane to life, but also some of the characters most people have likely forgotten, like the Star Trek Animated Series version of Kirk or his hosting duties on “Rescue 911” (who appears fairly often because, let's face it, it's a Jeff Burk bizarro novel, so there's going to be a lot of violence). Some people will probably be in a state of nerd euphoria or nerd rage over the scene with a psychotic Captain Kirk wielding a working lightsaber. I personally blame Jeff Burk putting that idea out there which may have inspired the hiring of J.J. Abrams to direct the new Star Wars movie. Now let's go tear down the observatory so this never happens again!

As a story it works. No really, it does. It definitely follows a pretty standard story structure. The literary depiction of Shatner and his characters is okay, although there's clearly a reason these work better on screen than on the page. There are a couple of places where Burk breaks from the standard story, which at least leaves the reader guessing and prevents it from being completely predictable. There were some areas that I felt were lost opportunities, but then again those would have been what we expected him to do. One complaint I have is that Bob could have been much better developed and could have been a bigger part of the story. There was a lot of potential there.

And, I really hate to have to nitpick here, but again, editing mistakes get stuck in my craw. Mispellings, grammar errors, etc. I know I'm a stickler for this, but it's important, and adds to the professional level of the work. While the editing errors in “Shatnerquake” aren't as excessive as I've seen in some other books, there are enough and they start to add up.

All in all, Shatnerquake is amounts to an amusing tribute to William Shatner. It's pretty clear how much of a fan Burk is to have payed that much attention to different parts of Shatner's career. I mean, Hell, he actually mentions Tekwar, which I'm sure most people have forgotten by now. A solid story, and certainly entertaining, and despite the violence and such, I'd generally call it one of the “safer” bizarro novels and would be a decent entry point into the genre, assuming you can deal with that much Shatner. I say give it a whirl. It's a fun ride.

Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk earns 3.5 phaser kills out of 5.

Oddly enough, to be continued in Shatnerquest ...(less)

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Mar 28, 2012 John Wilson rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: science-fiction

William Shatner is attending a convention being held in his honor. There will be props from all of the projects he's ever worked on, around the clock screenings of his life's work, and plenty of Q&A panels. The whole shebang is sabotaged, however, by the Cult of Bruce Campbell, who set off a Reality Bomb (patent pending) in the movie area. Now every character Shatner has played - fictional or otherwise - steps out of the movie screens to wreck havoc on the convention. Captain Kirk, Denny Cra...more

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Feb 29, 2012 Wayne Owens rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: comedy, sci-fi

I first heard about this book on @wilw‘s blog, and again later when he posted that the author Jeff Burk was offering it as a one day free PDF Download. So I did what any geek would do, I downloaded it and read it in work :o)

Well ok, the original plan was to just check out the story and read it later that evening. Only I was hooked as soon as Shatner drove past the first Campbellian, I loved the idea of a cult of Campbell, where followers cut off their right hand and change their name to Bruce.

Th...more

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Aug 22, 2011 Seth rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, sf-f-h, science-fiction

The premise is simple: Insane fans who worship Bruce Campbell use unexplained technology to destroy William Shatner while he's hosting a convention, but instead it pulls many/most of his characters into our world and seals off the convention and pits the characters against "Real" Shatner in a battle to the death.

When you put it that way, how could it fail?

On the plus side: It's a novella, so the joke doesn't have time to fall too flat. It treats the "Real" Shatner kindly. Great running gags abou...more The premise is simple: Insane fans who worship Bruce Campbell use unexplained technology to destroy William Shatner while he's hosting a convention, but instead it pulls many/most of his characters into our world and seals off the convention and pits the characters against "Real" Shatner in a battle to the death.

When you put it that way, how could it fail?

On the plus side: It's a novella, so the joke doesn't have time to fall too flat. It treats the "Real" Shatner kindly. Great running gags about the Singing Shatner. Includes Elizabethan Shatner and Twilight Zone Shatner and others that are easy to miss. Has Denny Crane Shatner, which more stories need.

But there are plenty of minuses, mostly in the world-building. We have a hyper-violent society with unnecessarily explicit torture that only seems to matter once. Convention security are referenced repeatedly but only appear in two scenes. Some thought seems to have gone into how the two high-tech bombs work and how the failure of one leaves the imported characters (Kirk Shatner is able to activate a toy light saber, creating a spectacular crossover at the expense of a deus ex machina), but we get minimal, muddled explanations, as well as other plot devices like a "static field" that keeps anyone from leaving for help. The relationship between the rest of the world and the Campbellians is unclear and hard to believe. Some history about "network wars" and other celebrities being executed feels hand-wavey at best.

The writing was readable, although muddled on any details that weren't action and avoided most action details by describing action after-the-fact. I couldn't tell it if was supposed to be a thriller, a comedy, or satire. The level of violence seemed erratic and probably gratuitous. The writing around the cold, murderous convention organizer was completely different in tone from the earnest, doomed terrorists or the desperate "Real" Shatner or the various parodies of Shatner's characters. Add in a bizarrely superfluous faux-Shatner character and a completely unnecessary and jarring scene with Animated Kirk Shatner and it felt a little like reading a shared-world story.

But really, it's short, it's cheap, and it has Rescue 911 Shatner standing around dying people asking the air to stay tuned and see if paramedics make it in time, while The Negotiator Shatner (from the Priceline commercials) keeps saying he can get them out of here cheaper and every shatner stops to remind you not to interact with Singing Shatner, since "he only does it for the attention."

As a wrapper for some fun fanboy slapstick, it's 3 or 4 stars. As actual science fiction, it's 2.

Call it 3 stars, get the ebook version cheap, and have a fun, quick read.(less)

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Mar 02, 2010 David Raffin rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shatner on Shatner Action

Jeff Burk's Shatnerquake is the finest story ever told containing multiple William Shatners. Lesser authors have been shackled before now with writing only one role for Shatner. This is understandable, in the field of television and film, for logistical reasons. However, this has never been the case in the literary realm and Burk has led the way here with both great panache and bloodletting.

Unsatisfied with a single Shatner, Burk here provides a wall of Shatners. A smor...more

5 likes · like · see review

May 13, 2009 Ross Lockhart rated it 4 of 5 stars

A good Bizarro book is like a good punk rock record: fast paced, aggressive, and passionate enough that you’re compelled to look past rough edges and the occasional sour note. Jeff Burk’s Shatnerquake is not a good Bizarro book; it’s a great Bizarro book. From it’s geek-tastic premise (William Shatner is trapped at a convention, besieged by the many characters he’s played) to its other-side-of-strange setting (Burk knows his SF conventions… not to mention his Shatners) to its gleeful sense of vi...more

2 likes · like · see review

May 01, 2009 Garrett Cook rated it 5 of 5 stars

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a postmodernist!"
I'm not much of a Trek fan. There, I said it. Draw me, quarter me, tar me, feather me. I'm not much of a Trek fan, but William Shatner is one of the most bizarre and intriguing personages in media history. From Kirk to a bizarre musical career to his numerous appearances in an eclectic array of commercials, I've found Shatner incredibly fascinating. Now in Shatnerquake, Jeff Burk explores the ins and outs of Shatnerdom, sci fi mania and the Jungian...more

14 likes · like · see review

May 20, 2009 Nick Cato rated it 4 of 5 stars

William Shatner is the guest of honor at "Shatnercon," a convention dedicated to everything Shatner; from his classic Twilight Zone episode, to Star Trek, through his TV roles on TJ Hooker and Rescue 9-1-1, right up to his role as a super-lawyer on Boston Legal. As Shatner signs autographs for an endless line of maniacal fans, a Campellian (those who worship actor Bruce Campbell and feel Shatner is a false messiah) sets off a "fiction bomb," a sedlom-used terrorist device that has the ability to...more

2 likes · like · see review

Nov 09, 2010 Craig Rettig rated it 2 of 5 stars

Aside from a few nerdgasmic moments introduced by the author, the book consisted primarily of jumping from plot point to plot point to plot point with little room for anything else to transpire.

I'm not a huge fan of long, drawn-out descriptions (Herman Melville, you are evil), but I had a difficult time trying to follow the action at times. You could tell Burk had a picture in his mind of what was happening, but he didn't describe it well enough to convey the events to the reader in order to ach...more

1 like · like · see review

Jul 22, 2012 Becky rated it 5 of 5 stars

Ich muss zugeben, ich kenne nicht vieles von William Shatner, daher war das Buch für mich teilweise ein bisschen verwirrend, weil ich manches nicht gleich zuordnen konnte.

Die Story an sich fand ich allerdings teils sehr amüsant und die Spannung, die schon auf den ersten Seiten aufgebaut wurde, wird im gesamten Verlauf der Geschichte beibehalten.

Das Buch wurde umgangssprachlich und aus der personellen Erzählperspektive geschrieben und geht sehr oft auch bis ins kleinste Detail.

Da in der Kurzbesch...more

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Nov 10, 2009 Jason Seaver rated it 4 of 5 stars

Early on, this book (in which William Shatner must fight off every character he has played as they come to life because of a "reality bomb" set by worshipers of Bruce Campbell) is pure hilarity - there's a paragraph on the second page which had people giving me funny looks on the bus as I read it. It's fast-paced, joyously crazy, and thin enough that it's not going to overstay its welcome. Burk makes the "real" William Shatner an enjoyable character and a somewhat roguish hero.

And then, in the l...more

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Feb 03, 2010 Carl rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fantasy

Well... If you are looking for a critical read with suspense, deeply moving characters, then why would you pick up a book about William Shatner confronting his myriad TV personas at a Shatner-con?

I found myself laughing at the witty references throughout this novel(la), even though the language was crude. A particularly funny element was the lethal competition between Shatner's fans and the Campbellians (followers of Bruce Campbell).

I picked this up on Wil Wheaton's recommendation during a speci...more

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Dec 09, 2009 Marvin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy, kindle, humor, kindle-lending

I downloaded this short book to my Kindle this morning, finished it in less than a hour, and still had time to write this review before going to work. Some reviewers have stated that there are a lot of typos in the book but I was too busy laughing to notice. The basic premise is that the real William Shatner, through a plot gimmick that is too silly to repeat involving evil Bruce Campellians, is attacked by all the other Shatners; Captain Kirk Shatner, TJ Hooker Shatner, Priceline Shatner...you...more

2 likes · like · see review

Apr 15, 2013 Melissa McCauley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Holy crap this was funny! I wouldn’t even call this bizarre-o tale a novella, it is really a long-ish story – one that is a lot easier to understand the second time around. At the ShatnerCon, Campbellian terrorists (who have cut off their right hands in allegiance to the great Bruce Campbell) detonate a fiction bomb which is supposed to wipe William Shatner’s career from history. Instead, it vaporizes all the convention goers watching Shatner films and TV shows, and brings each of the Shatner ch...more

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Apr 20, 2010 Steve Lowe rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: bizarro

I'm a slow reader, even for 80-to-90-page novellas, but I consumed this one in less than 24 hours. The premise gets an A+ - a so-called reality bomb, planted by Campbellians (devotees of actor Bruce Campbell) goes off at the first ShatnerCon, causing fictional Shatner characters to come to life and wreak havoc at the convention.

The plot is great and rips along at breakneck speed. Almost too quickly for my tastes, really. There's very little set up before the reality bomb goes off, 11 pages to be...more

4 likes · like · see review

May 27, 2009 Broodingferret rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: comedy, science-fiction

This was fun. What would happen if fanatical followers of Bruce Campbell were to set off a reality bomb at the first ever ShattnerCon? Why, all of the characters that William Shattner has ever played would be pulled into our reality and proceed to tear the convention appart with the aim of killing the real Shattner, of course. While not necessarily a triumph of modern literature, at 83 pages long (12-point font, double-spaced) Shattner Quake is a fun little romp that is worth the 37 minutes that...more

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Jul 09, 2011 Bill Kerwin rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy, weird-fiction

During a giant ShatnerCon, a group of Campbellians (terrorist devotees of actor Bruce Campbell all named Bruce and each lacking a hand) explode a "fiction bomb" that backfires, unleashing a multiplicity of Shatners on an unsuspecting world. As a consequence, the Real William Shatner is forced to do battle with Captain Kirk, "Boston Legal" Shatner, Black-and-White "Twlight Zone" Shatner, "Priceline" Shatner, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" Shatner. T.J. Hooker, Esperanto Shatner (!?) and others....more

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Nov 03, 2010 Kris Saknussemm rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jeff Burk strikes me as the kind of person whose background references I would check very carefully--and I mean that as a high compliment.

I met him a while back when I was in Portland doing a reading and this book had just come out. I've only now gotten around to it.

It's a wonderful, absolutely ludicrous story that will refresh anyone weary of the self-satisfaction and earnestness of so much of contemporary fiction.

It offers further proof that the so-called Bizarros, centered in Portland, are re...more

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Dec 12, 2011 Dayna Ingram rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: just-kidding, reviewed

To say that this book is a Literary Masterpiece would be an understatement. It is so intergalactically awesome that mere humans cannot encompass it with our trivial language. This book kicked my ass so hard I couldn't sit down for a week. I had to get a new ass. That's the only reason I can sit again. I don't even know who William Shatner is, but Jeff Burk brings him to beautiful life in these pages. That guy must've been downing some pretty stellar Brilliant Juice or wearing a three wolves shir...more

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Feb 07, 2010 Steven Rage rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: dark-weird-and-bizarro-faves

It is Mr. Shatner's world and we are just in it. There are more William Shatners in Shatnerquake than you can shake a light saber at. My personal fave was the Rescue 911 Shatner, telling all who will listen that this is really happening.

For the Real Shatner, the convention was just one of many he has had to endure. All was going just swell until the worshippers of Bruce Campbell decide to set off a 'fiction bomb' with the intention of wiping from the face of the Earth the very existence of Shat...more

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Nov 22, 2009 JessAnn rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Trekkies

Recommended to JessAnn by: Wil Wheaton

I got this book as a free download from the author. I would have picked this book up otherwise, just based on the title.

I'm kind of glad I got it for free, because I would have been disappointed, had I payed for it.

The concept was good, as was the Shatner character. But, this book badly needed a copy editor. McCoy was spelled wrong, which hurt me deeply, and the ending was a bit "rocks fall, everyone dies"

Pick it up if you have an afternoon free, for it is an enjoyable read. Just try not to pay...more

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Apr 05, 2012 Dergrossest rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shatner is one of the most entertaining actors ever who has played some of the most entertaining characters ever. The idea of every character he has ever played coming to life and trying to kill him at a Shatner convention is clever as hell. The problem with this book is that the author writes like he is still in high school. Also, note to author: tons of blood and lots of cussing does not cover up a plot with more holes in it than a red-shirted Enterprise crewman by the end of a Star Trek episo...more

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Nov 20, 2012 J.R. Murdock rated it 5 of 5 stars

I met Jeff Burk at WFC2011. Silly me, I bought the book from him and completely forgot to have him sign it. Ah well. This will push me to attend another con where I may be able to meet him again and have him sign my copy.

I was not given my copy of the book. I was not asked to or paid to write this review.

What prompted me to pick up this book was William Shatner? William Shatner. William Shatner! And a Captain Kirk holding a light saber. Well, that and speaking with Jeff was a lot of fun. I’m gla...more

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Jun 25, 2011 Chris rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: bizarro

William Shatner's worst day! After a fiction bomb goes wrong, various characters from Shatner's career come to life and terrorize him and the fans at ShatnerCon, or report on it, as is the case for Rescue 911 Shatner. This is a crazy ride with just about every incarnation of Shatner involved and, don't worry Jeff, I think Shatner would get a kick out of it. It is a quick read (I think I finished it in about an hour) and this action filled story moves along at a brisk pace. Check it out, you won'...more

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May 05, 2011 Seak (Bryce L.) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

This book is one of those that's been floating around for the last couple months and it finally arrived on my doorstep the other day. It is also one of the reasons I'm so glad I'm a Goodreads member, I never would have known about it otherwise.

I can't do a better synopsis than this:
"After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Feat...more

3 likes · like · see review

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