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By Degrees (By Degrees #1)

3.75 of 5 stars 3.75 · rating details · 342 ratings · 30 reviews

Orphaned at eleven and bounced around the foster system, Tim learned young that the only thing he could control was himself. It was a lesson he took seriously, and it's the only thing that keeps him safe from more heartbreak. Conner doesn't understand this desire to control things, but he doesn't need to. He loves everything about his control-freak friend, even the way he...more

ebook, 229 pages

Published March 1st 2009 by Torquere Press

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Mar 27, 2009 FloJ rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-fiction

It is an odd fact with these m/m books how many people are only children and have both their parents wiped out in one sort of accident or another. I am sure that it is much much more frequent than occurs in real life. I suppose from the author's point of view it A- removes one or more point of potential conflict and B - allows them to explore the ramifications of not 'dealing' with the loss in a timely and appropriate manner. As an antipodean I want to say HOW AMERICAN!

With this book we have the...more

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Jun 25, 2009 Lily rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: ebook, m-m, what-i-read-in-2009

Tim Shelton is a doctor and his childhood friend Conner Lemor is a fireman. After keeping in touch only through phone conversations and the internet for ten years they finally get together in person. Con is moving to the same city that Tim lives in and is staying in Tim's apartment while looking for his own place. Con realizes he's in love with Tim and wants to take their friendship to the next level but Tim is absolutely sure he is not gay.

This was a very emotional book. There are several issue...more

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Aug 19, 2009 Jenre rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, contemporary, romance

I was attracted to this book for two reasons: Firstly, I'm a sucker for a friends to lovers storyline, as long as it's done well and is convincing. Secondly, I was in the mood for a bit of angst and By Degrees seemed to fit the bill exactly for that.

We begin the book when Con comes to California to visit his long-time friend, Tim. Con is about to be transferred to the same city as Tim and Tim has offered to put him up for a few days so that he can scope out an apartment. The two men haven't seen...more I was attracted to this book for two reasons: Firstly, I'm a sucker for a friends to lovers storyline, as long as it's done well and is convincing. Secondly, I was in the mood for a bit of angst and By Degrees seemed to fit the bill exactly for that.

We begin the book when Con comes to California to visit his long-time friend, Tim. Con is about to be transferred to the same city as Tim and Tim has offered to put him up for a few days so that he can scope out an apartment. The two men haven't seen each other in a long time, but have kept in touch through phone calls and email. Con is immediately attracted to the man his friend has grown into, but as far as he is aware, Tim is straight, so he keeps his hands to himself. Just before Con is about to go home he is involved in a shooting. Whilst under the influence of the morphine, he blurts out his feelings for Tim. This acts as a catalyst for Tim, who initially rejects Con and then starts to re-evaluate his life and his sexuality.

I liked both these men and found it interesting that the author had set them up as such opposites. Con is large, touchy-feely, openly gay, enjoys teasing and laughing. Tim is small, hates being touched, is quiet, confused about his sexuality and takes life very seriously. Both men have experienced tragedy in their lives but, whereas Con had loving grandparents who took him in and raised him, Tim had no-one and went through the state-system.

It is Tim's past and his coming to terms with his experiences which forms the main focus of the story. Tim is very controlled. He hates being taken out of his comfort zone, so when Con's declaration opens up the possibility that, rather than being frigid and uninterested in sex, he could be gay, his life starts to fall apart piece by piece as he is forced to face up to something which he cannot control. Tim realises that he has feelings for Con, but has no idea how to be gay. In a section of the book which smacks of tragi-comedy Tim decides to 'experiment' with his sexual preferences by firstly trying out a gay bar and then by dating one of the other doctors at the hospital, but that all goes badly wrong, leaving him more confused than ever. It takes the return of Con and his gentle prodding to get Tim to open up and face the fact that it is not wrong to let go and lose control. The scenes where this happened were touching and realistic. Con's patience and understanding, even when faced with his own frustrations, was delightful.

The secondary characters were also well defined: Tim's 'big brother' Rick, who has been a support for Tim since he was sixteen, was a pleasing mixture of exasperation and tenderness in his dealings with Tim. Con's grandparents provided quite a lot of much needed comic diversion, which prevented the story from being too heavily angst ridden. Tim's work colleagues were also well rounded, especially the creepy Peter whose increasingly out-of-control behaviour formed an opposite of Tim's healing of spirit.

Overall, despite being high in angst, this is a book about the healing power of love and affection. I closed the book entirely satisfied with the journey that I had taken with these two wonderful men. It is obvious that the author had done a lot of research on the stages of grief and the effects of repression as I never felt that any of Tim's experiences rang false. I highly recommend that you read this book, which gets a grade of 'Excellent' and I shall be looking out for more from this talented author.
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Jun 17, 2009 Erin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: romance

There's a lot about this book that I shouldn't have liked. It's really long for a novel so thin on plot. Tim is, for all intents and purposes, a virgin heroine, a character archetype I really dislike. The book makes strange leaps in logic sometimes—at the beginning, everyone knows Tim is gay but Tim, and the evidence for this seems to be... his collection of Johnny Depp movies?

Ultimately, though, Tim is a really likable character. He's a Doogie Hauser type, in that he's a full-fledged doctor at...more There's a lot about this book that I shouldn't have liked. It's really long for a novel so thin on plot. Tim is, for all intents and purposes, a virgin heroine, a character archetype I really dislike. The book makes strange leaps in logic sometimes—at the beginning, everyone knows Tim is gay but Tim, and the evidence for this seems to be... his collection of Johnny Depp movies?

Ultimately, though, Tim is a really likable character. He's a Doogie Hauser type, in that he's a full-fledged doctor at 26 and one of those characters that everyone says is a genius. I don't know if this is actually true—Tim may be a good doctor, but we never see him with patients. Tim is incredibly naive, almost unbelievably so. I gave him a pass because he's got some serious residual childhood issues, but I still find it hard to believe that he's hardly ever thought about sex (he's had a long string of girlfriends but is still a virgin) and that it doesn't occur to him that he might be gay until his friend Rick is all, "Dude, you're gay."

I did like that when Tim decided he was probably at the very least not completely straight that he started researching. His methods are very scientific: he spends some time Googling gay culture then goes to the gym to determine which bodies he's more often attracted to.

Con is also a very likable character, patient to an almost unrealistic degree, but admirable in that way, also. Tim freaks out about sex, so Con tells him they don't have to have to do it anymore. (Although at this point, they hadn't done much more than dry hump on the couch. Not really "sex," though the author doesn't seem to know this, and more to the point, Tim refers to it once as "intercourse" in a medical context... but, dude, if your pants are still on, it's definitely not intercourse. I don't know why this irritated me as much as it did.)

What this book does do exceptionally well is build the relationship "by degrees." It moves slowly, but it has to, because Tim has so many issues to work through. I also just read a bunch of historicals where the plot hinged on a Big Misunderstanding, so it was nice to read a book where the two main characters actually communicated with each other and worked through their problems.

That said, I have 2 other bits of criticism. 1) Tim? Pretty much a woman with a penis. He seems to experience orgasm in a very womanly way. (I can't explain it better. I, obviously, have no idea what a male orgasm feels like, but I've never seen it described the way it is in this novel, which is basically how a woman experiences an orgasm.) More to the point, apparently crying after orgasm is actually fairly common, but the whole second half of the book is basically based on the fact that one Mighty Orgasm destroys all of Tim's defenses and he completely falls apart. Tim had a crisis coming, you could see it building, but a bad day of work could have set him off, not this one orgasm. 2) Wherefore Rick and Jay? I understand Rick's presence as Tim's older brother adviser type, but I don't get why he's a POV character. I understand Jay even less, as Jay's purpose seems to be to... be amused at Tim's coming unglued and then briefly lusting after Con? There's sexual tension between the two characters, certainly, but they never reference it in their own inner monologues. Con, actually, is the only one who ever even comments on it. And I don't know that it's ever even established that Rick is gay. Either way, none of that goes anywhere at all. Is there a sequel?

But still I devoured this book. Worth it for Con's grandparents, his grandfather in particular, who is hilarious. I was sort of hoping it would be revealed in the end that they had a kinky threesome thing going with Tranny Ed, but alas. (Still, Ed moved with them to CA, which is suspicious.) (less)

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Nov 28, 2012 Baywin rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, m-m

Tim is an emotionally repressed doctor whose only source of stability is his childhood friend from boarding school, Connor. Despite the brief year that they spent together as children, their friendship continues over a decade through desperate letters, e-mails, IMs and texts. This carries Tim through the lonely years spent ignoring the grief from his parents' sudden death and the constant shuffling from one foster home to the next. Oddly enough, Tim and Connor haven't seen each other in person f...more

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Oct 30, 2012 Charly rated it 5 of 5 stars

Excellent portrayal of someone with psychological damage learning how to love

Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.

Rating: 9/10

PROS:
- The portrayal of Tim’s psychological blockage when it comes to intimacy of any kind is wonderfully done. I can’t remember the last time I read about a character whose struggles in this area struck me as so realistic (yet not over-the-top). And his approach to figuring out whether or not he’s gay is very logical and methodical. It...more Excellent portrayal of someone with psychological damage learning how to love

Warning: This review might contain what some people consider SPOILERS.

Rating: 9/10

PROS:
- The portrayal of Tim’s psychological blockage when it comes to intimacy of any kind is wonderfully done. I can’t remember the last time I read about a character whose struggles in this area struck me as so realistic (yet not over-the-top). And his approach to figuring out whether or not he’s gay is very logical and methodical. It made me chuckle numerous times.
- The sex scenes in this book are some of my favorites I’ve ever read. They’re not particularly graphic or frequent or blowyourmind hot, but one or two of them in particular are PERFECT for the specific situations in which they unfold. Which is to say, they’re perfect for Tim. And his issues. McDonald also doesn’t shy away from the emotional fallout the sex causes, which is painful to read at times but SO well done.
- I loved watching Con struggle with his attraction to Tim when neither of them has figured out yet that Tim is gay. There comes a point where everything Tim says prompts a sexual thought in Con’s mind, and a lot of the exposition describing Con’s struggles is really funny.
- Tim and Con are really comfortable around each other, and McDonald does well to show this in their dialogue and through their actions.
- Several of the supporting characters are well-developed and fun and real. I laughed out loud at a lot of Con’s grandparents’ comments, and I’m looking forward to reading this book’s sequel, In the Rough, because I got just enough of a taste of Rick and Jay to want to read their story too.

CONS:
- There’s a little subplot in this book concerning another character that’s not badly written. However, I read Cameron Dane’s A Fostered Love just a couple of weeks ago, and in addition to the fact that both books are about former foster kids, the subplots in both books are really similar. So I had a sense of déjà vu while reading this one, though if I’d read this first, the déjà vu would have happened while I was reading A Fostered Love. (I’m not accusing anyone of plagiarism or anything; it’s just one of those situations when two things come out at once and are a lot alike: think Armageddon and Deep Impact.)

Overall comments: This is a wonderful story. It has some marked similarities to A Fostered Love, but I don’t think either one is a copy of the other; I enjoyed both stories equally. This is one of the most realistic portrayals I’ve seen of someone struggling with psychological trauma from the past, and again, the sex in this book--not necessarily the descriptions of it, but the exploration of the emotional consequences--is phenomenal.(less)

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Apr 22, 2010 thelastaerie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I am not repeating the storyline again, the blurb does a good job of it. What it doesn't tell you is that characterisation of the story.

The plot? I think it's doable, but must have sympathetic characters. I like dark characters, I even like a lots of a**hole characters, but I have to be able to feel their pain and understand why they act in a**hole-ways *g*. For Tim's all "I am not gay" struggles and all his hurt past - I didn't feel his pain, but I can tell he's kind of an ass and very selfish...more

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May 12, 2010 Sandy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Wow! I myself feel ... repressed (during) after reading this book. The characters are not unlikable but the "Nothing" answers just really get on my nerves.

The emotion are not well described if not described at all. I guess it suits Tim character real well. He's...emotionless and repressed. I personally don't like this "hero" and find him very frustrating and everything.

I don't know where the peak in this story is. Simply because what I expected it to be turn out not. That's when Con get shot!...more

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Oct 15, 2012 David rated it 3 of 5 stars

I liked this one.

i thought the way repression impacted one of the characters to be interesting, especially as it was an adult character. Usually these types of story lines seem to center around teens or young adults (or maybe I'm reading too many YA stories? No, never...), so it was nice to see the subject taken on by an adult.

The story doesn't dig too deeply into the causes of these conflicts, nor does it talk much about treatment. This is strictly how the two main characters dealt with each ot...more

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Jan 30, 2013 Nik rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: almost-dnf, cherry, friends-to-lovers, cops-military-abc-agencies, doctors-nurses-emts, i-got-99-problems, hurt-comfort, m-m, db

I'm going to start with an apology because I'm going to rant.

(view spoiler)...more

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Jun 05, 2009 Elisa Ramblings added it

Even if he now would never admit it, Tim knows that when he met Con for the first time, he found his true love. Problem is that Tim at that time was 10 years old and Con only 12; they still hadn't reached the phase in which someone wonders about being straight or gay, and they had only an year to be together. They were both in boarding school, but then Tim's parents died in a car accident, and Con's father had financial trouble and he went to live with his grandparents. Still they remained in to...more Even if he now would never admit it, Tim knows that when he met Con for the first time, he found his true love. Problem is that Tim at that time was 10 years old and Con only 12; they still hadn't reached the phase in which someone wonders about being straight or gay, and they had only an year to be together. They were both in boarding school, but then Tim's parents died in a car accident, and Con's father had financial trouble and he went to live with his grandparents. Still they remained in touch, first with letters and then with emails; Con became Tim's internet friend, someone always present, but far enough for Tim to not feel threatened.

Probably Tim was already a troubled boy, being sent in a boarding school at a so young age didn't allow him to form the first important emotional bond in life, the one with your parents. And the the accident and the various foster homes didn't help either. Tim repressed all the feelings of abandonment and sadness and became a control freak. He has to have control in everything, above all in his own feelings; as I said, Tim just met the only person in the world who can find a breach in the walls he built around him, and that person is far from him, he even controls that weak side of him, knowing in every moment where Con is and what he is doing. Tim starts to date women, since it's expected from society, but he knows that a woman has no chance to pull down his barriers and so he is safe with them. This is not a "gay for you" romance, first of all since Tim, deep down him, knows that he is in love with Con, and second since Tim is a full-figured virgin, in any meanings of the word: he has never allowed anyone near him enough to tolerate a physical touch.

But now Con has invaded his space and started to work on that breach. He is in Tim's apartment, in Tim's life again, and he is too huge: not only in the physical meaning of the word, but also to an emotional level. Tim freaks out, he feels his control slip out for his hands. What I like of Tim is that he seems unable to be nasty with Con; he is sharp and edging, but he always tries to do the right thing with the man. True, when Con has to go away for a period, Tim tries to rebuild his walls, but at the same time he tries also to understand himself better and his feelings for Con; when everyone around him already knows that Tim is gay, Tim has still some hope that this is not true, since if he is gay, he is in love with Con and he is in big big trouble.

The book is not so simple that the "little" realization of being gay allows to our hero to happily walk hand in hand toward the sunset (don't get mislead by the cover...). That is only the first step and maybe the simpler, it's only stating the obvious; if till this point the book was almost funny (with sentence like "after a month he was always sure to be more gay than not"...), now it turns in something more complex and moving. Even if Tim is a doctor, he has still huge mental barriers that don't allow him to admit that he needs the help of a specialist; on the other hand Con, even if a real good man, is a firefighter, not a therapist; but he tries to help the man he loves, he tries to be supporting and sympathetic. I really like as he comes out as character, since the reader can really understand that he is not like that, he is not for real an always careful and cautious man, but he knows that he has to be like that for the good of Tim, the man he loves... and when he momentarily forgot, the real Con comes out, with his requests of a puppy (when they are both men with eclectic working hours) or for Tim's to take cooking classes (when the man has already his days full with his job and other bigger problems).

Both characters are wonderfully rendered, but Tim comes out in full force. I was really taken by this man that apparently is aloof and detached, but instead has so much to give: I was almost regretting that it was not allowed to these two men to live their childish love, to grew together and being always happy since that tender age... but probably they would have been not able to realize the beautiful love story that now they are living. By Degrees is a very good novel, that mix romance, eroticism and a bit of drama, but that has also a funny core that always warms even the more angst scenes.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1603707743/?...(less)

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Dec 29, 2010 Meggie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I read this story for second time now, and I believe I have same emotions about the story as before. The plot is good developed with interesting characters, but somehow I just couldn't feel the attraction between Conner and Tim. Conner is real and you can get him... but Tim his cold way of dealing with his personal problems made it just harder to see his feelings as not being forced on him from Connor, Rick or Jay. But the end is sweet and positive, that's great.

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May 29, 2009 JenMcJ rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: e-books, mm-mmm-a-few-mmf-too

I have mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand it is really well written and the emotions come across very vibrantly and realistically for most of the book. I thought it was very well thought out and the descriptions of Eric's emotional distress were compelling...

On the other hand, I did not like Eric and I thought Con was a saint. For two boys that were supposed to be life long (albeit long distance) friends, that friendship must have been very superficial because when they get together...more

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Jun 17, 2011 SueM rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, medical-doctors-nurses, fireman-paramedic, friends-to-lovers, romance

by J.B. McDonald

Rating: ★★★★

I have mixed feelings about this novel - a journey of one man's self discovery supported by a friend from his past, that ultimately leads to love. I must admit, certain parts of this novel made me think 'Get real, that can't be true' until I decided I needed to research as to whether the scenario was totally implausible or not... Well, it's not implausible, and although it generally happens more with women, it can also happen to men. (yes, I'm deliberately being vagu...more

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Apr 18, 2010 Renee rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Renee by: orannia

Shelves: ebook

Truly wonderful romance that really developed the characters of both Tim and Con. The book did not gloss over the issues that Tim was dealing with, nor did it take the easy route of "love heals all". The book explored the development of Tim and Con's relationship and really showed them working through their challenges. This was a wonderful friends to lovers story, and I'll definitely be reading the companion book to By Degrees, In the Rough.

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Apr 08, 2010 orannia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m

This book is amazing (understatment of the century). I very rarely read a book in which I can so relate to a protagonist... Add that to a beauifully written book, with humour and tenderness...if you're making a bet that I will be sending the author a gushing email you'd win :)

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Oct 25, 2012 Rhianon rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, romance

I enjoyed the injections of humor in this one, and the healthy dose of realism as well. A sweet friends-to-lovers, gay-for-you sort of story, but well crafted and well told.

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Aug 02, 2011 Dustin Demoin rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was hilarious at points and had a great overall story... There were way too many typos in the book for it to be completely enjoyable.

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Feb 23, 2010 Nikki rated it 1 of 5 stars

First off, Tim irked the heck out with the whole "I'm not gay...no no wait, yes, I am gay" dilemma. I found myself, halfway through the book and wanting to skim paragraphs to get past the babble. Too much "telling" an not enough "showing" going on. Con, if he is really even human, can take more crap than any man or woman I know. I kept thinking that these characters needed to "man up".

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Jul 28, 2011 Mara Ismine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, contemporary, male-male, romance

Complex tale of working through problems that aren't fixed in five minutes. Angsty but very good.

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Sep 11, 2012 JNL rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m

I loved the patience for each other in this book. True friendship.

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Sep 21, 2011 Califg70 rated it 5 of 5 stars

Awesome Awesome Book! I loved this whole series. I crave for more!

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Jul 07, 2010 OkayKim rated it 1 of 5 stars

I had trouble with the writing style.

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Apr 20, 2012 Idamus rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m

Around 3.5*

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Jan 16, 2012 Fehu rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: challenge-bookshelf, coming-out, genre-m-m-contemporery, hurt-comfort, mine-to-read

3,5 stars

I loved the book which featured Rick and Jay, so this may have affected my rating of this one.
Tim was tight wound and I had a hard time connecting to him. In the middle of the book I found myself looking at the page count and that frequently, which is just not a good sign for the book. It did work out in the end but still, I felt there were times were it was always same old problems or topic, which did lessen my enjoyment of the book.

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Jan 01, 2010 Alli rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m-read

**I just re-read & liked the story much better. I was able to understand Tim's personality, so had more sympathy for his struggles.

Good idea, well written with some great humor & sexy moments. Con was hot, and the family & friends were a lot of fun. Unfortunately, Tim was pretty unlikeable for most of the story. I know he had issues, but his snarky attitude was unrelenting & it made the relationship seem very one-sided.

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Oct 07, 2010 Carolyn88 rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: sept-challenge, gang-bang-challenge, m-m-romance

This was a good read. It is about a young man realizing he is gay and understanding that. He has a best friend (character not developed as well as other character) who helps him through this. The grandparents are a riot. You will laugh yourself silly reading some of the things they do.

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Sep 10, 2009 Angela rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Erotica, m/m,

Shelves: erotica, fiction, ebook, m-m-romance

The Grandpa was way too funny! I really enjoyed this story. The way they worked out their problems was very touching.

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Mar 13, 2013 jules0623 rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: asshat-friends-or-relatives, coming-out, cops-firemen-and-paramedics, doctors-nurses-health-professionals, drag-queens-or-cross-dressing, exes-that-are-not-awesome, fabulous-friends-or-relatives, first-times, favorites, friends-to-lovers, genre-aaaangst, genre-romance, head-shrinkers-or-social-workers, illness-or-injury-strikes, kidnapped-hijacked-or-held-hostage, kids-or-animals, mental-disorder-physical-disability, missing-condom-or-lube, relationship-m-f, relationship-m-m, stalker, unrequited-or-obsessive-crush-love, violence-or-torture

Started off slow but it turned into something really lovely.

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Mar 20, 2010 Jace rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fictionwise

Not to sure what I think about this book, at least I didn't hate it.

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About J.B. McDonald

JB has been writing fiction of some sort or another since she was eight years old, when she started with the highly acclaimed and illustrated, “Bucky the Bronco and his Missing Horseshoe.” Everyone in the McDonald household heard about it. Most even read it. Then they made the fatal mistake of encouraging it, and before anyone quite knew how it happened, JB declared that she was going to spend the...more

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