Deep in The Land of Broodsarrow, just outside the village of Gneirwil, and high on a cliff overlooking the Everbleed Sea, there stands the faggiest...
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Dec 18, 2010
Edmund
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One may be forgiven for thinking that weird examples of facial hair are among some pantheon of bizarro deities, especially when books like Carlton Mellick III's The Faggiest Vampire roll around. Mustaches are everywhere in Broodsarrow, having become an epidemic thought to either be caused by bacteria or by the charismatic Dargoth Van Gloomfang, the faggiest vampire in the land. This title sounds far less like an insult when swapping "faggy" for "suave," which is exactly More...
Feb 23, 2010
Alice
rated it:
I got this as a birthday present, from someone who doesn't usually get my weird and quirky things. I'm glad she went with her gut, though. I thought it was cute and funny (not ha-ha funny, just the chuckle quietly to yourself way), and I loved the illustrations.
It's billed as a children's novel, and it has a fairly simple, straightforward storyline that I think children would enjoy. But it seems like it was written to be the sort of thing parents wouldn't mind reading again and ag More...
It's billed as a children's novel, and it has a fairly simple, straightforward storyline that I think children would enjoy. But it seems like it was written to be the sort of thing parents wouldn't mind reading again and ag More...
Nov 08, 2010
Anne
rated it:
I was appalled when amazon.com suggested this book for me. I wondered what in my reading history indicated that I disparaged gay men. I eventually read the reviews and looked into the use of the term "faggy," and got the book. I don't get that "faggy" is supposed to be disparaging against gays, but rather hipsters. The vampires are in a constant game of one-upsmanship in an effort to be cooler-than-thou. In true fairy-tale style, those with selfish motivations get their comeu
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Jul 27, 2010
Jeff
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I'd better start off by saying that the word "faggiest" as used in this book is not derogatory in any way. Here it would be synonymous with "coolest" or some other complimentary term.
It is the story of a vampire named Dargoth Van Gloomfang, who is preparing to defend his title as The Faggiest Vampire by winning Broodsarrow's annual mustache competition and must face a challenge from the upstart vampire Baron Van Ravengraves.
If you've read Carlton Mell More...
It is the story of a vampire named Dargoth Van Gloomfang, who is preparing to defend his title as The Faggiest Vampire by winning Broodsarrow's annual mustache competition and must face a challenge from the upstart vampire Baron Van Ravengraves.
If you've read Carlton Mell More...
Apr 27, 2009
Rose
rated it:
This book is the latest release from Spunk Goblin, an imprint of Eraserhead Press. The books I am publishing on Spunk Goblin are children's books for adults (or kids with open minded parents).
This book is written like a Roald Dahl book, it's funny and clever. It's all about maintaining a positive attitude in the face of adversity and believing in yourself. It's also about a mustache competition.
I absolutely love this book. I want every kid I know to read this book. More...
This book is written like a Roald Dahl book, it's funny and clever. It's all about maintaining a positive attitude in the face of adversity and believing in yourself. It's also about a mustache competition.
I absolutely love this book. I want every kid I know to read this book. More...
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Jul 30, 2011
Chanelle Berlin
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I bought this book by Carlton Mellick III because of the unexpected title and then because the reviews said that "faggiest" was used in place of words like "most interesting" and "best," etc. It's a children's story, and it is amusing and adorable.
Dargoth Van Gloomfang is the faggiest, and thus most celebrated, vampire in Broodsarrow, and he has a human servant named Rococo. (Rococo!) Things get a little messy when a younger, hipper vampire from Los Angele More...
Dargoth Van Gloomfang is the faggiest, and thus most celebrated, vampire in Broodsarrow, and he has a human servant named Rococo. (Rococo!) Things get a little messy when a younger, hipper vampire from Los Angele More...
Aug 18, 2010
James
rated it: 
This book was pretty horrid. The writing was very childish, the story was just ridiculous, and... there's not really a good thing I can say about it. The end of it had a bit of a plus when he ended up happy when he had been so miserable, but... that's just not enough. That could have been accomplished a million different (and better) ways.
Sep 09, 2010
Fuzzy
rated it:
The Faggiest Vampire has the subtitle "A Children's Story". And the crazy thing is, it is. And it's a good one. It's just... that word. They use that word a lot through the book. And, in the book, it's a good word. Vampires really want to be faggy. It's just... you know. That word.
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Jan 03, 2010
William
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Very entertaining book by CMIII. This is a tale of a vampire hoping to retain his crown as faggiest and best mustachioed vampire in the land. Alas, he does not play fair and loses both titles.
I thought this was a well written book and does it's job of imparting a good lesson to children.
I thought this was a well written book and does it's job of imparting a good lesson to children.
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May 22, 2009
Ashley
rated it: 
This book is not as shocking as it seems. Replace "faggiest" with "hippest" or "coolest" and you have just a regular book for kids ages 6-10. What it lacks in shock value, it does make up for in cuteness and humor. But, there is still a slight sense of loss that comes along when you realize that this book isn't what you were expecting.
Feb 03, 2011
Chantel
rated it:
A funny and entertaining book with a good lesson. I know some people don't like the use of the work "faggiest" in this book, but it is meant to mean that someone is cool or well-liked. It was a quick and enjoyable read, a great little book!
Jul 31, 2010
Christopher
rated it:
A charming, silly children's book about vampires having a mustache competition and learning to be kind. If you somehow explain the title adjective's meaning as 'flamboyant' and its use as improper in polite company, it's suitable for ages 7-9.
Jan 05, 2010
Camille
rated it:
The illustrations on page 11 alone makes this book full of awesome. I haven't laughed so hard in a while.
Jul 02, 2010
Terri
rated it:
Adorable tale of the Faggiest vampire in town who is threatened by his new you neighbor who posses his own high level of fagginess. THeir feud reaches terrible acts and leaves a surprise new faggy vampire to usurp the title. Charming
Nov 18, 2010
Natalie
rated it: 
I almost feel bad for giving this book a two. I enjoyed the illustrations but even as a kid I would have hated the story.
George Bernard Shaw said "Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself."
Guess I'll have to pass this on to a grown up. I wanted to like it, I really did, but in the end, I didn't.
George Bernard Shaw said "Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself."
Guess I'll have to pass this on to a grown up. I wanted to like it, I really did, but in the end, I didn't.
Apr 09, 2011
Rhonda
rated it:
Book 2 completed of the readathon. I've read some of Mellick's work before and really enjoyed it. This one isn't one of my faves by him. I knew the book was aimed more at kids, but it still wasn't quite what I was expecting when going into the book. That probably made me enjoy the book a little less than I would any other time.
Oct 08, 2011
Danielle
rated it:
this is a must buy! this is a favorite in my house and among friends. ive been thinking about buying another copy just so i have one on the shelf while its loaned out. this book will keep the kids and kids a heart smiling and who knows may even inspire YOU to be the next faggiest vampire!
Jun 28, 2011
Nihil
rated it:
unusual for a Mellick book in that i often forgot i was reading one. it came across as a pretty good children's book, and everyone learned a valuable lesson.
Dec 09, 2011
I refuse to give this a star rating for the same reason Roger Ebert wouldn't give one to The Human Centipede.
Jun 29, 2011
Christy
rated it:
Maybe I was looking forward to this too much? It was just so boring...
I still love the title, though.
I still love the title, though.
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