Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks
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Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks

3.46 of 5 stars 3.46  ·  rating details  ·  183 ratings  ·  42 reviews

An inside look at the life of Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, as she dishes on everything from relationships, food, and fat to why once you go black, you never go back

In her jaw-droppingly hilarious and politically incorrect memoir, Lisa reveals all--including the dysfunctional childhood that made her the insult comic she is today, the subject for which

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Hardcover, 292 pages
Published September 1st 2009 by It Books (first published 2009)
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Bridget

For those of you that don't know, I love to laugh! I will laugh at almost anything and everything and I especially love to laugh at myself. I'm the type of person that will trip in the middle of a crowded mall and burst with hyena laughter until I can't breathe. I learned early on to laugh at myself and not take life too seriously. That being said, it shouldn't come as a shock that I adore comedians. I'm a huge fan of Dane Cook, Katt Williams, Dave Chappelle and of course, my all time favo...more
Michele
Parts of this are crazy hilarious, other parts boring as hell--didn't give a fuck about her high school years or what her favorite parts of being on celebrity roasts were. I thought that it was pretentious that she quoted her own favorite jokes she made and favorite jokes celebrities made about her......if we were big enough fans, we would have seen the jokes. But there are great stereotypes that are supported in this book and those are one of my favorite types of humor. She makes fun of ever...more
Priani
Priani rated it 3 of 5 stars
I knew going into this book that the author is about as politically INcorrect as they come. However, I still find her extremely funny and made sure not to get offended by her inappropriate opinions. I was greatly disappointed by this book because the title implies a story, of whatever sort, about chocolate. But it ended up being a story about the author's attraction to black men. I didn't even finish it because I'm personally revolted by anyone's preference of one race over others. I couldn'...more
Jessica Vaughan
Jessica Vaughan rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Fans of Lisa Lampinelli, Artie Lange, Howard Stern and the like
Lisa's a gas - to use an out of date saying - she comes right out with her sweariest swears and never misses a chance to reference her love for the blacks or contempt for the skinny white bitches. I didn't laugh out loud as much as I thought I would, but as it turns out, her story is a little dramatic - there's stints in rehab, weight issues, family issues, religion issues - so sometimes laughing is more of a knowing chuckle than a big honking guffaw.

She does, however, talk a lot ab...more
Kristi
Kristi rated it 4 of 5 stars
This was what I needed after reading the deBecker book. No offense!

If you like Lisa's stand-up act (and I do!) then you'll like this! It's written just like she speaks and it's a hoot. I know from other reviews that people didn't like her delving into her "issues" but that's what makes her LL. All comedians have something that makes them yearn for that laughter and we all have some issues. If you think you don't, then that's your issue!

If you're looking for a po...more
Katie
Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars
I knew of Lisa before reading the book, but haven't really followed her career at all, but still enjoying the book is a testament to how good it is. The first half could be my biography...she's a big girl who loves black guys and is adored by gays...hello my life story, but then, like most comedian's memoirs/stories, it gets deeper and darker. For the most part I enjoyed her humor and like the snarky attitude and tone to the book. A good read for big girls and gays. Check it out if you fall into...more
Diana
Diana rated it 3 of 5 stars
Ha ha ha ha, LL is one crazy bitch. I love her. So I pretty much thought it was a good read up until the last few chapters when she starts acknowledging her codependency on food and bad men and documents her rehab stints (yes, plural) to deal with these problems. I could have done without the last four chapters (I think?). She is usually chosen by Comedy Central to close the roasts . . . why wouldn't she apply this to her book?

Regardless, ABSOLUTELY still a fan. Love LL!
Sheryl
Sheryl rated it 4 of 5 stars
I started out really liking this book, then I got bored somewhere in the middle of the roast chapter. I had to put the book down and read something else then come back to it. When I picked it up the second time it was hilarious all the way to the end. Maybe it was just more comedy than I could take in one sitting. Although I have never actually seen any of her shows, I loved this book and her politically incorrect humor. I would recommend it to people who don't get offended easily.
Justin
Justin rated it 4 of 5 stars
This book is hilarious! LL is funny as crap- so funny I had to change my undees a few times because she made me crap 'em. There are some slow points, but overall Chocolate is a great little memoir. I got the audio book cus stuff like this is always better when read by the author. WARNING: After listening to this book you'll start to forget that constantly telling racist jokes and calling women 'cunts' all the time is, usually, inappropriate. So, watch out for that, bitches.
Tricia Andrews
I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy this book or not. She is a "blue" comic, meaning she can use alot of profanity and tell jokes some might find offensive. The book shed a whole new light on her for me. It tells of her past struggles with weight and acceptance for herself. She does make jokes throughout, so if you are offended easily then this book might not be for you.
Sheela
Sheela rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: comedy, memoir
Lisa Lampanelli, the Lovable Queen of Mean, brings the laughs in this memoir. Known for her roasts, LL is bitingly mean, wicked raunchy and outrageous - kind of like Chelsea Handler on steroids. Similar to Chelsea, LL's book reads more like a stand-up routine, which is great because I'm not familiar with her work. Lines like, "I actually tried to spell-check 'Shaniqua.' The computer suggested that I 'just call that b*tch Sharon'" {referring to ridiculous black names} made me laugh ou...more
Rebecca
I personally love THIS LL, so my four stars may skew high for those expecting great lit.
Being 'Lampanelli'ed' is a verb in our house...as in 'Geez, I have to lay off the fromage, the brothers were totally checking me out at the grocery store.'
Yup, Lampanelli'ed.
Tamara Evans
I've heard her comedy routine before and expected the book to be a good read. Instead, this book provided insight on her upbriging and was lead her to be a comedian but it fixated a little too much on Lamanelli's love of black men. I was so annoyed, I didn't even finish it.
Christa
Christa rated it 3 of 5 stars
Shelves: bios, listened-to
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Torie Duda
Having had no idea who this comedienne was, the book looked like it could be fun. It was a fast read, but I think it would have helped if I knew more about her beforehand. Small to medium laughs.
Max Wilson
Like most autobiographies, this one favors the author well. Lisa seems much less abominable, much more human, than her on-stage persona. Good insight into the evolution of standup.
Angie
I am always amused and shocked when I see Lisa perform. Her book is just the same. She is one of my favorite stand up comics, and the queen of the roast.
Liz Abinante
Hilarious, witty, completely vulgar, but also very revealing. Like history, Lisa Lampanelli does repeat herself. But hey, people are doomed to make the same mistakes until they own up to them and go to rehab for 28 days.
Betsy
Betsy rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: biography, humor
If you like Lisa Lampanelli, you will like this book. She tells her favorite roast jokes and some that she chickened out of telling. Very funny.
Jill Peck
The book is written just like she speaks. It seems to be one long comedy act. Not what I was expecting.
Michael Martin
Absolutely filthy and as politically incorrect as you can get, but made me laugh several times.
Elizabeth Faye de Pasquale
Not all that up with her stand-up, but this book was edited beautifully and absolutely hilarious.
Kyle
Kyle rated it 5 of 5 stars
very funny, inappropriate, emotional, honest memoir.
I love Lisa.
5 stars
Beth
Beth rated it 2 of 5 stars
This isn't what I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it.
Kyle Macdougall
Hilarious. She gets away with stuff that no one else could.

B+
Matty
Matty rated it 3 of 5 stars
I really enjoyed reading this book, although it's not as funny as the #1 queen of mean is in person.

It's nice to learn about her life and why she is the way she is but I really didn't find this book that funny, interesting, just not that funny. I find that's usually the case when comedians write books. there's just something about hearing them on stage that makes it 10 times funnier than in a book.

Maybe listening to these types of books on audio would be better. Who knows, I'...more
Dana
Dana rated it 4 of 5 stars
Not for the faint of heart...or not for someone who is easily offended or doesn't like cursing.
Nicole
Nicole rated it 5 of 5 stars
FUNNY AS HELL! SHE IS GREAT FINISHED IN BOUT 1 WEEK
Susan Moeller
very funny
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Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks (ebook)
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Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks (Paperback)
Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks (Paperback)
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Lisa Lampanelli, often referred to as Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean, is a Grammy-nominated American stand-up comedian and insult comic. She is noted for her extremely racy and raunchy style of comedy, which frequently includes taboo subjects such as race and homosexuality.
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