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81st out of 328 books
—
3,313 voters
The Vampire is Just Not That Into You
by
Vlad Mezrich
Are you in love with a vampire? Are you worried that you might not be his (blood) type? Do you wonder whether that cold stare means he isn’t interested . . . or if it’s because he’s been dead for three centuries (nothing personal)? Have you tried to coax him out of his crypt with a flash of your neck or a near-death situation that requires him to save you at the very last...more
Paperback, 176 pages
Published
October 1st 2009
by Scholastic Paperbacks
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I both really liked this book for its satire and was leery of it because, well, I can see sparkly-eyed teen girls taking the quizzes like they do in Cosmo and holding themselves to the results. Poor boyfriends. I just can't tell if the satire wasn't strong enough or if it's just me reading a little too much into it.
Either way it was pretty funny. It's pretty much a total rip on TWILIGHT and tells you how klutzy to be in order to snag a sparkly one, among other things. The breakdown of normal boy...more
Either way it was pretty funny. It's pretty much a total rip on TWILIGHT and tells you how klutzy to be in order to snag a sparkly one, among other things. The breakdown of normal boy...more
Three stars. Meaning I don't like it, but don't hate either.
This happened to be in the book fair when I was in senior year. We were all assigned to buy one and review it. It's what I picked.
It was kind of fun. The advices were hilarious, but at the same time reckless. Each girl interviewed in here was head-over-heels with a vampire. They were idiot and desperate. Crazy even. And insane. Hahahaha! That's all true. Here's one sample:
"My vampire boyfriend loves to save me -- it's one of his biggest...more
This happened to be in the book fair when I was in senior year. We were all assigned to buy one and review it. It's what I picked.
It was kind of fun. The advices were hilarious, but at the same time reckless. Each girl interviewed in here was head-over-heels with a vampire. They were idiot and desperate. Crazy even. And insane. Hahahaha! That's all true. Here's one sample:
"My vampire boyfriend loves to save me -- it's one of his biggest...more
First posted to my blog, Terra On the Bookshelf
Vlad Mezrich, a centuries old vampire, has decided to bestow us mere mortal young women with much needed advice to help us snag and keep a hot vampire boyfriend, and, even more importantly, to recognise when he has grown so bored with you that he begins contemplating turning you into a meal instead of taking you out for one.
If you are still looking for a good gift to give to that vampire loving friend of yours this Christmas then look no further tha...more
Vlad Mezrich, a centuries old vampire, has decided to bestow us mere mortal young women with much needed advice to help us snag and keep a hot vampire boyfriend, and, even more importantly, to recognise when he has grown so bored with you that he begins contemplating turning you into a meal instead of taking you out for one.
If you are still looking for a good gift to give to that vampire loving friend of yours this Christmas then look no further tha...more
Okay, forgive me, but I'm just doing a quick review on this!
I LOVED it! It's an extremely short read-it took me maybe 20 minutes? But it's SO cute, well...not cute, but hilarious! Vlad Mezrich is painfully truthful about our chances with a vampire (pretty slim)-and very helpful on how to tell the biters from the wanna-be's!
The book is filled with quizzes, and how-to's, even a shopping guide if I remember correctly!
I know this review is short, and I apologize, but the book is extremely sho...more
I LOVED it! It's an extremely short read-it took me maybe 20 minutes? But it's SO cute, well...not cute, but hilarious! Vlad Mezrich is painfully truthful about our chances with a vampire (pretty slim)-and very helpful on how to tell the biters from the wanna-be's!
The book is filled with quizzes, and how-to's, even a shopping guide if I remember correctly!
I know this review is short, and I apologize, but the book is extremely sho...more
I saw this at Wal-Mart and was really looking forward to reading it. This book is separated into 3 parts. The Vampire is Just Not That Into You has information that will help her decode her "relationship with her vampire". I loved the color scheme throughout the book and loved reading the quizzes it had. It also had "testimonials" about relationships from the human's and vampire's perspective. There were many times where I had to force myself to finish the book because the writing was so blasé....more
Vampire dating advice? In this day and age vampires are seen by the masses as boyfriend material rather than 'oh god kill it with fire'. And I think that most of us are okay with that. But that won't stop us laughing at the fact that a vampire is more likely to be interested in your jugular than your affection. And that's more or less the basis of this book.
A gentle poke at various vampire novels and modern thinking on such monsters it had me giggling away every page or so at the advice, testim...more
A gentle poke at various vampire novels and modern thinking on such monsters it had me giggling away every page or so at the advice, testim...more
Merci Hanae! Maintenant jsuis prête à rencontrer Edward ou Damon :p
When it first came out, I loved He’s Just Not That Into You. When I found out they had a vampire version, I just had to read it. However, I was disappointed. It was probably my own fault that I was disappointed. I didn’t do enough research on the book before buying it. I thought the book was going to be a young adult book but it turned out to be middle grade. It was way below my reading level. I felt kind of silly reading it. Also, I thought it was going to be an actual novel, but it was more of...more
"Vlad Mezrich" is a pseudonym for a team of Scholastic writers who pooled their satirical talents to create this fun little book (David Levithan is the editor). The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You parodies dating guides, teen-magazine quizzes, and most of all, current tropes in vampire literature. Twilight gets the lion's share of Vlad's snark, but there are references to Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, and others as well.
Aspiring Bellas and Minas will learn how to tell a vampire from an ordinary goth...more
Aspiring Bellas and Minas will learn how to tell a vampire from an ordinary goth...more
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This book was very funny. Not really a phenomenally fantastic literary work or anything, but it made me laugh out loud quite a bit.
I did think it was getting a bit lengthy for what it was - you don't want to overdo the funny, but it was definitely worth the read. I particularly liked the sections on knowing if he's a vampire or just a wannabe by his looks and email profile and the quiz on if you're ready to be a vampire(every possible answer was, 'you're not ready for eternity' LOL).
I did think it was getting a bit lengthy for what it was - you don't want to overdo the funny, but it was definitely worth the read. I particularly liked the sections on knowing if he's a vampire or just a wannabe by his looks and email profile and the quiz on if you're ready to be a vampire(every possible answer was, 'you're not ready for eternity' LOL).
This is a fun self-help spoof that skewers the Twilight phenomenon and takes the piss out of the sudden ubiquity of vampires, in the style of the Sex and the City writers' book. Not sure what Carrie Bradshaw would say about it, but Samantha Jones has probably dated Edward & Jacob so maybe she would make a good judge of how accurate this book is.
This was really clever. Not laugh out loud funny but if you're a twilight fan or vamp pop culture addict than the many inside jokes will keep you amused. It was a quick read as well. I love that the narrorator himself is a vampire and slips in condescending quips and insults aimed at the reader.
I'm not ashamed to say I thoroughly enjoyed this humorously satire little book. The sarcasm was incredibly refreshing. It's nice to come off of a serious, dramatic novel with a light-hearted, funny, read-in-one-hour book such as this one.
Sep 21, 2011
Bernadette
added it
It was really intresting reading this book. I really liked answering the quizes and reading about how you should inroduce your vampire boyfriend to your parents. It was fun to read and I really enjoyed it.
I picked up this book because I loved He’s Just Not That Into You (still haven’t seen the movie, but I want to) and was hoping this would be just as good. This was a short, fun read that I’m glad I picked up. From it, I learned that my partner is more than likely a vampire and that I’m the perfect girl to be dating vampires.
If my partner ever starts looking at other necks, Mezrich’s given me tips on what to do and how to deal with him. I’ll probably try getting myself into dangerous situations f...more
If my partner ever starts looking at other necks, Mezrich’s given me tips on what to do and how to deal with him. I’ll probably try getting myself into dangerous situations f...more
How do you tell when a vampire likes you, tips from slayers, what to do an a first date with a vampire, ... Very entertaining & funny. The kids at school will love this.
This is an absoutly funny little read for any vampire lover! Full of quizes, and what to do's and what not to do's about your vampire love!
This book is hilarious! It make fun of all the girls that have ever wanted to date a vampire but in a funny way so they won't get offended!
This book explains about what it's like to date a vampire. It tells you about what his kisses mean,and what he's saying actually means.
Thanks to this book Im now dating Lestat De Lioncourt himself! Thank you Vlad! Thank you! Thank you! Your amazing!
Hysterical! It made me laugh so hard! Loved it! I keep going back to it for comic relief.
Oct 13, 2009
Britt, Book Habitue
marked it as to-read
Jun 18, 2012
Mishelle Martinez
added it
funny book. made me think if the author is really a vampire. are you??
It had some fun-like games that did interest me. So, it was ok.
loved that book you should read vladimir tod all the chronicles
this book was so rediculous it was very funny!
This was one of those books that I accidentaly found while putting books away in the "Teen Ficton" section at work... and I couldnt put it down. It is a spoof on dating guides.. about how to catch your vampire, which one is the right type of vampire for you, how to keep him once you have him... Plus what happens when he gets tired of you and starts thinking about how mjuch better you taste then being totally stuck on you.
This was ggreat and it had me cracking up the whole time. It was a nice br...more
This was ggreat and it had me cracking up the whole time. It was a nice br...more
SO worth the $15 I spent on it!
i liked it it was cute and funny
Cute and sometimes funny.
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