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Maradonia and the Seven Bridges (Book 1)
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Maradonia and the Seven Bridges (Maradonia Series #1)

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1.53 of 5 stars 1.53  ·  rating details  ·  72 ratings  ·  36 reviews
The Maradonia Saga
starts as an everyday story. A girl called Maya and a boy called Joey found a mysterious place in a forbidden area which opened the way to a World between the Worlds Maradonia.

The Land of Maradonia
With their arrival in Maradonia a prophecy is fulfilled. Overnight their simple life in the small city of Oceanside has changed completely and they are thrust
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Paperback, Special Edition, 810 pages
Published April 17th 2008 by Liberty's Book Press (first published 2008)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 104)
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Michelle
Yes, I've added a star to this review. This book has caused much laughter throughout my household, and since the purpose of fiction is to entertain, it qualifies. Maradonia and the Seven Bridges is the worst fantasy book I've ever read--if one can even honestly call it a book. It is one of those rare, magical moments where everything goes wrong--characters, plot, pacing, mythology, description, dialogue, continuity, grammar, spelling, punctuation, even the FONT inspires giggles.

If anyone is co
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Honorius Black
The impression you'd get from the reviewer "Sam" is that this is the best thing since sliced bread and that you should TOTALLY buy this BRILLIANT work of ART. This SWEEPING EPIC will make you positively orgasm with vicarious delight.

If only that were the case.

The book is a mess. Not even drinking games will make this a worthwhile read unless you have a penchant for seeking out and mocking horrific writing. In which case, proceed at your leisure.

If you want to learn how not to write something, th
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Janine
This is basically the Rebecca Black of self-published books.... without the ironic rise to fame, of course. It's always amazing when something is so bad in just the right way that it becomes more successful as a meme than as its intended purpose, and this is exactly one of those rare gems. I've only been able to read parts of this mess online, but I've heard from many reviewers that the actual books themselves are just as physically shoddy and poorly held-together as the writing and story, how a ...more
Ea Solinas
If you've heard of Gloria Tesch, you've probably heard that she promotes herself as the youngest novelist in the world. Well, she's not.

And even if she were, her debut novel "Maradonia and the Seven Bridges" wouldn't exactly be a rousing advertisement for teenage authors. This self-published disaster is a meandering plotless mess, making its way through a sludgy mixture of cutesy fantasy, horrible Christian symbolism, and writing bad enough to make your eyeballs burn.

Maya and Joey are a pair o
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Vicious Ink
Jul 10, 2012 Vicious Ink rated it 1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: purveyors of lolz
Recommended to Vicious by: Swankivy
So, I made a review on Drew Markus's revew, and while it shows up on his account, it doesn't seem to be showing up on the actual page. So, in order to not run the risk of it being deleted or lost, I'm putting it as a stand alone review in response his post:


A couple of "average kids" go through a "secret portal" and find an "alternate world" where they become "instant royalty" and fulfill an "ancient prophesy." That doesn't sound familiar to you? You've never heard of C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of N
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Sam
LOVED IT
“Maradonia and the Seven Bridges” is a classic but contemporary story depicting the battle between good and evil. This morality tale is about two people who literally have greatness thrust upon them one sunny and unassuming day when the fate of an entire civilization is handed to them. When Maya and her brother Joey stumble upon a secret portal, they are transported to a mysterious place called Maradonia. Their appearance in this World between the Worlds fulfills a prophecy which propels
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Samuel Proulx
The internet hype machine indicates that this is some of the worst writing ever printed in book form. Now that it's available as an ebook, I decided to pick it up, ready to be amused. My reaction was...blah. I've come across much, much worse writing. Yes, it's silly and unoriginal. But I can name you dozens of fantasy series that are silly, badly plotted, and unoriginal. Same goes for characterization: lots of books get this wrong, and Gloria Tesch is no worse than some other self-published auth ...more
Sean
Instead of wasting your time with this turd just spend a day sniffing glue you'll enjoy it a lot more and its better for your health
Delicious Strawberry
The fact that this book is so terrible has nothing whatsoever with the author's age. The plot sounds fairly exciting and since you know it is someone's first novel, you know it might not be the best. No big deal, right?

This book is an example of how NOT to write. The most obvious mistake here is the atrocious grammar. Commas and ellipses are misused and abused, names are placed in quotations for no apparent reason, and it appears as if a thesaurus has been hastily used - but the words used often
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Maya Zauberman
The only way I could retain my sanity while reading this was by reading it out loud with a friend of mine. This POS takes itself way too seriously. It thinks it is the next moral guide to help the youth of the world. It is not. Not by a mile. The characters, if one could call them that, were so one dimensional and unlikable Mary Sues. It is, to quote another reviewer for a different book, "as if the writer took the Mary Sue test and checked all the boxes." everything they do is presented as wise ...more
Jay Jay
I've waited for this book all summer and it was definitely worth the wait. This book was so fun to read and engaging that I finished it in one day. I just could not put it down. This book was written for children but it will also appeal to older readers as well. I should know, I'm 18 years old. The descriptions of the magic world were so fun and imaginative.

This book will probably make a great movie but it will be hard to put all the enchanting descriptions into words. I loved it so much that I
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Morgan Corsetti
This is a magical story of two young teenagers who learns bravery, positive thinking, magic and friendship withheld in the land of Maradonia.
I was looking for a non-sports book for my ten year old to enjoy. Much to my delight Maradonia became the read out loud bedtime story for the past two weeks.
I must admit that I read ahead when I was going to be out of town for the night, so that I could share the story with them over the phone. I intend to purchase many for Christmas gifts.
I'm actually o
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MintyRose
It seemed like a rebranding of c.s lewis's narnia series... Except that he has far better writing skills and more imagination with naming things, people, and plot in general. Boring.
Fairhonanth Jones
Kill it, kill it with fire, please...
Suzanna Tempesta
I found out about this book from the WriterfromNowhere on YouTube, and he reviewed it as horrible, so of course, I had to check it out for myself.
Let me first off say that I feel bad for Gloria about as much as you feel bad for an orphan...divided by ten trillion million thousand.
I understand she wanted to write a book. She just did a crap job at it. The story, just from reading about it sounds reminiscent of Narnia and Harry Potter and is littered with cheap Christian symbolism. This book sou
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Courtney Mcardle
Maradonia and the Seven Bridges is a very well-written book, portraying an epic battle of good vs evil between a brother and sister and many mythical, dangerous creatures. It is a story that gives good morals as well as philosophical morals, and you read on in the book, you see the brother and sister really mature in the story, which makes Maya and Joey relatable characters for children of all ages! It starts out as just a pair of outgoing, adventurous teenagers who soon encounter a conquest dep ...more
Navi
This book is BAD.

I mean it. BAD.

But it's one of those hilariously horrible books that, if you can get your hands on it, is worth reading. Just don't pay the price to get it, okay?

The only reason I got a chance to read it is because a friend's mother had it for bookclub or something.

Just... if you get a chance, read it. If not, read a sporking of it. It's too funny to miss out on.
Michaela
I tried to finish this book. I really did........it was just.....BAD. There is just know other way to describe it. No word that could convey just how horrible this 'book' truly is.
Java Joe
You know what's worse than a bad novel? A bad novel with a whole marketing machine behind it. No, I'm not talking about the latest from Shlockmeister Stephanie Meyer, I'm talking about Gloria Tesch and her "Maradonia" books.

You might have never heard of her and consider yourself lucky if you have. You have been spared the pain of knowing such a self-centered, vapid excuse for a person actually exists. If you search, especially on this site, you'll notice one thing really quickly. All the 5 star
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Dr. Gerhard
The new E-Book version of Maradonia and the Seven Bridges hit my brain and burned a big hole into my soul. I am pretty sure that several people might not agree with me, but I really believe the edited version with its brand new prologue of this book is World Literature. The stories of this teenager author and novelist Gloria Tesch are just overwhelming because of the simplicity and they show from their psychological proportions in the life of the siblings, Maya and Joey, and in their fight betwe ...more
Summer


... I kind of hope it is a troll, because my immediate reaction after reading the first page was that I wanted to throw up. This is possibly the worst book ever conceived. It is beyond words.
Andy Bridson
The Maradonia saga is by far the worst book series I've ever read. The only real good side is that the books get better as they continue, but still never rise above awful. The characters are all one dimensional, it's racist, the story makes no sense, and the main characters are a douchebag and a blatant Mary Sue. The premise is also a rip-off of Narnia, and the writing shows how much of a black and white, discriminatory ideology that the author has. I mean really, The Evil Empire? The Gothic Mov ...more
Alyssa Zulueta
Nov 21, 2013 Alyssa Zulueta rated it 1 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Nobody.
Recommended to Alyssa by: I found it through a forum
Let's see...

I haven't even heard of this particular author and when I discovered her, I didn't miss out on anything... except for the bad writing and shameless self-promotion.

Anyways, I heard of this through the Twilight Sucks forum, Impish Idea, WriterFromNowhere, and Swankivy made a video of it.

I haven't read the book but from what I read through Impish Idea sporkings, I can tell that this book is so bad. It looks like a first draft and it's clear that Gloria didn't even bother to edit her bo
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Alys B. Cohen
I've had to think for over a month about what to write about the first four books. I can't even continue reading anymore. I realize it was ostensibly written by a ten-year-old, and that some people think anything written by a kid should get a good rating by default. However, if this was aimed at an audience of kids, it would be confusing and boring. If aimed at an adult audience, it's snark-fodder and still confusing and boring. Even if you're ten, you need an audience in mind. Who would read th ...more
Alys B. Cohen
I've had to think for over a month about what to write about the first three books. I realize it was ostensibly written by a ten-year-old, and that some people think anything written by a kid should get a good rating by default. However, if this was aimed at an audience of kids, it would be confusing and boring. If aimed at an adult audience, it's snark-fodder and still confusing and boring. Even if you're ten, you need an audience in mind. Who would read this book and enjoy it? The very rare pe ...more
Morbid Quill
My Rating: 0.2

Gloria Tesch is one of the worst writers in existence. She claims to have written eight hundred pages of literary genius, yet her doorstopper of a novel is only useful for chucking at people's heads. Specifically Gloria's head. It only managed to reach the 800-page mark because of an incredibly bloated font size, jagged margins, and frothy filler scenes that take up about 87.998% of this "book."

If the font size were reduced to something remotely reasonable, at least four hundred p
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Liam
If I would like to be entirely honest, and I will be, as I greatly enjoy tearing shitty books to pieces, The Maradonia 'Saga' is a creative writing essay taken waaaaaaaaaaaay to far. Gloria Tesch's parents had their heads so far up their asses that when they discovered their daughter could write english with a keyboard, they pooled every cent they owned into advertising and self-promoting way over the line, an amusement park? fake TV shows with people who aren't even cited probably being paid to ...more
Dc
The best meta-comedy ever created. Every sentence is lovingly worse than the last, boasting even more "unnecessary quotation marks and italics", as the book progresses. The antagonists are called - no joke - the CLUB OF EVIL. This is a great Christmas present for anyone who needs a laugh.
The Literary Bystander (nxlee)
Because I don't want to believe there could possibly be an 'published' author who is actually far worst than the likes of Alexandra Adornetto or the author of the My Immortal fanfic (okay I'm making wild exaggerations here but who cares, really?).

This I have got to see. I'm gonna read this as constant inspiration for my own works and prime example of how NOT to write a novel.
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2880005
Gloria Tesch is the author of the Maradonia Saga.

Gloria began writing her first book at the ripe age of ten and celebrated her thirteenth birthday with the publication of two novels,"Maradonia and the Seven Bridges" and "Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld." This sweeping epic journey into a fantastical world of magic and power, earned Gloria the distinction of being the world's youngest
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More about Gloria Tesch...

Other Books in the Series

Maradonia Series (6 books)
  • Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld (Book 2)
  • Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir (Book 3)
  • Maradonia and the Dragon Riders (Book 4)
  • Maradonia and the Law of Blood (Book 5)
  • Maradonia and the Battle for the Key (Book 6)
Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir (Book 3) Maradonia and the Battle for the Key (Book 6) Maradonia and the Dragon Riders (Book 4) Maradonia and the Law of Blood (Book 5) Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld (Book 2)

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