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How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong
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How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong

4.41 of 5 stars 4.41  ·  rating details  ·  129 ratings  ·  25 reviews
Experience the Blessings of an Imperfect Marriage. We all–at one time or another–have the opportunity to act right when our spouse acts wrong. There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don’t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are ...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published September 15th 2009 by WaterBrook Press (first published October 16th 2001)
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Stacey
Sep 04, 2008 Stacey rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Stacey by: CCEF
Shelves: faith, marriage
CCEF has this book on their recommendation page. I got it through bookmooch and it came in the mail yesterday when I was out. William met me at the door to say that he found my birthday present for him and is so thankful I know what he's going through. Ha. We could probably both grow from it.

We are currently reading/processing it together.
***
Confession 1: I hid this book every time we had company, and took it off my 'currently reading' so it wasn't glaring on my facebook page. The title is rathe
...more
Stephen Escalera
When my wife and I were married, two imperfect individuals promised to love each other perfectly - "for better, for worse." Like many other couples, we naively entered this new chapter of our lives with unrealistic and selfish preconceptions of how life would be like from that point on. And like many other couples, we have over time discovered the imperfectness of our union, each other, and, most of all, ourselves. We are in constant need of being reminded what the goal of our marriage should be ...more
Beth
I read this book on behalf of a family member who is going through a very difficult situation in his marriage, hoping to find some sound advice to share with him. It was excellent, and I'll definitely be recommending it.

If you're familiar with the book, _Sacred Marriage_ by Gary Thomas, this book is very similar (but goes into more depth regarding marriages in crisis).

The advice is sound and biblical. Like Thomas (whom she often quotes), Vernick emphasizes that marriage is an opportunity to pu
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Julie
In How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, Leslie Vernick brings out some very practical information for couples. Some may see this as a book that they've already heard about but I found several things that really stood out to me. The main focus of this book is that if your spouse is acting wrong, maybe you should look at YOURSELF. I was a little taken back at first. If my spouse has a problem, why is it MY fault? That's not what the author is saying. Instead, what is said is what could yo ...more
Shay Freeman
This book has articulated many of my own thoughts regarding marriage. That it is about what we do individually within a marriage and how we respond. How we should respond, how Christ has taught us because there is no better opportunity to become "Christlike" than a marriage.

One of the statement she articulates well, which I have repeated numerous times over the last several years (and now can articulate better). is this.

When our relationship with God is right, "we won't make such severe demands
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Betsy Garufi
Leslie Vernick writes in a very honest engaging way. I never felt "wrong"; but she points out how one can play a part in making or breaking a marriage. An inspiring book that helps me make better choices in how I respond that also encouraged me to speak up in a compassionate, non-judgemental way to make my relationship better.
Cafelilybookreviews


With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, we need all of the marriage help we can get! Here is an economical way to get insight from Leslie Vernick who has over twenty-five years of counseling experience. This book addresses the most common “hot spots” in marriages such as how we react, how our spouse’s wrongs can expose baggage from our past, unrealistic expectations in marriage and more. I like the fact that there are some charts and diagrams in this book, which helps visual learners make more
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Jessi
This book is so amazing. I am so excited to train myself to use these suggestions. I want to formally recommend this book to everyone who is married, even if you are still happy at this moment in time. I also want to recommend this book to everyone who has ever had a close friendship or any type of relationship with anyone at anytime.

What did I learn from this book? Hmm. I went into reading this with the intention of changing my husband, I left it wanting to change myself. It's hard to realize y
...more
Tesha  Fritz
Great book for being a better spouse instead of telling your spouse how to be better. Leslie is a Christian counselor who gives biblical and practical advice and lots of stories. It is really a good read.
Miranda
I definitely recommend reading this before any marital strife occurs as I have. It definitely keeps you mindful of the small things and keep focused on the right things.
Leemarie J. Morales
Great book, though confusing at times (at least for me). I struggled with paragraphs that say walking out (divorce) is not an option, yet staying thinking it's the right thing to do isn't an option...then coming to the conclusion that there's actually a THIRD option that somehow comes out of these two mentioned... So I just accepted the apparent fact that I'm just not ready to understand the complexity of the task!

**I just took a comical approach to my struggle, and DO NOT mean to offend anyone
...more
Joel
Vernick counsels spouses in the worst of situations, and she has much to offer because of her experience and her wisdom. She gave a lecture on Domestic Abuse to my class, which was one of the more memorable moments in the academic year. This book asks the question: How does one spouse do the right thing when the other spouse gives them absolutely no reason to do anything right? She answers the question thoughtfully, carefully, and without resorting to victim-language. She is able to offer real h ...more
Chrystall Jenkins
Great read! The advice applies to marriages, even if you don't consider your issues as big or unbearable, and pretty much any relationship. You don't have to live your life reacting based on hurt feelings. Sometimes it's difficult but it's so worth it.
Sienna
This book teaches you not only how to act right when your spouse acts wrong, but how to recognize the times when your spouse does the same for you! I first heard Vernick at the Hearts at Home conference and I had to buy this book.
Tracy
I had to read this for a counseling class I am taking. I really thought the content was good and biblical. Helps a woman or man to walk through a rough patch in their marriage or to bear up wisely in a difficult marriage.
Tessa Tuttle
Really enjoyed this. The title makes it seem more 'aggressive' than it is. Full of practical & humbling advice. God grew & challenged me as I read.
It's staying next to my bed to refer back to.
Colleen
Feb 23, 2013 Colleen marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: relating-well
I heard about this book today on a Focus on the Family broadcast. I was challenged by the biblical principals she presented. I look forward to reading this book, along with Sacred Marriage.
Maureen
where has this book been all my life? a great balance of letting go of undesirable behavior and taking responsibility for my own (walk w/ Lord/emotional health and response). highly recommended.
3KEAS

I have read most of the book through twice. I have many thoughts to add when it is not so late. I would recommend this for other relationships as well. (in addition to marital)
Margaret Ann
I highly recommend this book. It's not a comment on how my husband's acting but rather on how I choose to act to bring life and health to our relationship. A helpful read.
Eric Sundquist
A rejected, earlier title of this book may have been, "How to be a Good, White, Evangelical Christian living in the 'Burbs."
(1/5)
Jenn Cherry
A good read - the info could be applied to ANYONE who is acting wrong...not just a spouse - good stuff to consider and think on.
Diane
Feb 26, 2007 Diane rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Married people (duh)
This book has lots of great tips for changing yourself in order to make positive change happen in your marriage.
Englandjennifer
Such a great book. Full of excellent examples and advice.
Beth
Very good. Highly recommend it...
Vicki
Vicki marked it as to-read
Mar 28, 2015
Felicia
Felicia marked it as to-read
Mar 23, 2015
Katie
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“My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of your God-given destiny … because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment … because you “deserve better than this.” I cheat you of knowledge … because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing … because you’re too full of me to forgive. I cheat you of holiness … because you refuse to admit when you’re wrong. I cheat you of vision … because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship … because nobody’s going to know the real you. I cheat you of love … because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you of greatness in heaven … because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth. I cheat you of God’s glory … because I convince you to seek your own. My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you. Untrue. I’m looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry. If you stick with me You’ll never know.” 0 likes
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