"A NEW YORK TIMES" NOTABLE BOOK
How much credit do parents deserve when their children turn out welt? How much blame when they turn out badly? Ju... read full description
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May 16, 2011
Skylar
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This is a very long (and at times personal) review. If you would prefer to read a more concise and formal version of this review, click here.
If Judith Rich Harris is right, there’s good news, and then there’s bad news. The good news is that there isn’t much I can do to screw up my kid. The bad news is that there’s not much I can do to keep her peers from screwing her up.
“The nurture assumption” is the assumption (made by sociologists, psychologists, educators, criminolo More...
If Judith Rich Harris is right, there’s good news, and then there’s bad news. The good news is that there isn’t much I can do to screw up my kid. The bad news is that there’s not much I can do to keep her peers from screwing her up.
“The nurture assumption” is the assumption (made by sociologists, psychologists, educators, criminolo More...
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Nov 04, 2007
Khaya
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I wrestled with whether to give this book four stars or five. Despite its length and density, it was one of the most enjoyable reading experiences I’ve had in a while – stimulating, provocative, highly readable, and actually laugh-out-loud funny at times. Her arguments are too intelligent to be easily dismissed, much to the chagrin of Jewish mothers like myself. However, I decided on four stars because, ultimately, I’m not convinced.
Harris points out that much of the evidence for More...
Harris points out that much of the evidence for More...
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Jan 09, 2009
Kathrynn
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There was so much covered in this thick, large paperback that it is difficult to decide what group of people it was intended for. Teachers and parents, definitely. I understand how this book came up in other books I've read and that's why I decided to read it. Wow.
Enjoyed the author's writing style and her humor had me chuckling throughout the 462 pages. The author presented numerous in-depth background examples and used them throughout the book. There was a tremendous amount of More...
Enjoyed the author's writing style and her humor had me chuckling throughout the 462 pages. The author presented numerous in-depth background examples and used them throughout the book. There was a tremendous amount of More...
Aug 20, 2011
Tania
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I read this book because I am a child and youth care worker, and I think it is important to read materials that are influencing current thinking. As a practioner, I am glad I read this book, even though I fundamentally disagree with the author on pretty much every point. I think it is important to consider the impact that peer relations have on child development. But Harris misses the mark.
Harris is undoubtedly right that peers do have a strong influence over how children develop. H More...
Harris is undoubtedly right that peers do have a strong influence over how children develop. H More...
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Nov 23, 2011
Benjamin
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This book was okay. I'm 55% persuaded by her argument (basically that peer groups largely determine how kids turn out and not parental influence). The book itself was unnecessarily long, though. She could have made the same argument in 1/10th the space and been just as effective. Instead, she repeats the same points over and over again. Even though she's not an academic (officially), she writes psychology textbooks for a living and provides just enough familiarity with the "language" o
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Apr 28, 2008
Billy
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This book should be more popular. Harris wrote and edited psych textbooks before writing this book. She says that parents shape kids by providing genetics only. She shoots down the idea that all the silly stuff we do to shape our kids' minds is bunk; peers and environment shape kids much more. It's a strange concept, but brilliant.
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Jul 16, 2011
Aaron
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A very interesting read from someone with a very interesting history. I love Judith Rich Harris's no-nonsense "this is what I believe" approach, although I didn't agree with everything she said. Nonetheless, this book helped me frame certain questions about who I am, and who we all are, and also perceive more clearly the somewhat insane obsession we have with cushioning our children. A must-read for anybody interested in the nature-nurture debate.
Interestingly, after reading More...
Interestingly, after reading More...
Feb 09, 2011
Michael
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She defines nurture not as all environmental factors, but only the parents in regards to influence in children lives. My initial reaction is to reject her premise. To say “parents don’t influence how their kids turn out” is about as ignorant as ever. But I don’t think that’s what she’s saying. She may be saying that parents don’t play as large of a part as we often think in how the kid’s personalities turn out.
The biggest thing I take from this book is to not overlook the power of pe More...
The biggest thing I take from this book is to not overlook the power of pe More...
Apr 24, 2011
Natalie
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It was a book i chose to read due to the fact i am in the process of writing my own book - a memoir of some type. I needed to read on subjects starting of course from the beginning of how our lives can be affected whether or not the nurture assumption is accurate or not. I have since read some books that contradict some of what is said here as it is based on old theories rather than ones that have been more evolved. Some of which i could understand without a doubt but i wouldn't say this was the
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Jan 01, 2010
Jeremy
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Brilliant book. The title is a bit of a misnomer because Harris deals with so much more than child development theory. With that being said, this book has still given me a lot of perspective on my role as a parent. It also made me think about who I was as a child and the influence of my parents.
Malcolm Gladwell often cites this book as being one of his favorite, as well as the template for his genre (of which he is the most famous author, though probably not the best). So in a time where b More...
Malcolm Gladwell often cites this book as being one of his favorite, as well as the template for his genre (of which he is the most famous author, though probably not the best). So in a time where b More...
Jul 25, 2011
Sam
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This is a great & misunderstood book. Even the 4-sentence publisher blurb on facebook isn’t quite accurate. Judith Harris does not claim “that parents have little impact on their children's development”; it’s parenting style that has little impact. Parents impact their children genetically, as well as by deciding in what community a child will be raised & how often a child will move from place to place. There's a whole (usually ignored) section on what parents *can* do to impact their children's
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Feb 12, 2012
Sharon
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A thoroughly enjoyable and thought-provoking book. Harris challenges "the nurture assumption" that how parents choose to bring up their children influences how they ultimately fare in life. She argues that children undergo socialisation (ie learn how to behave) through their peer groups. To support her argument, she takes the reader on a journey through different cultures, species and periods of history. She also does a very good job of highlighting the pitfalls of psychology res
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Jul 17, 2010
Rachel
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Children are shaped by their peers, not parents....I find that very hard to swallow. Although I disagreed with author's scientific research results and I believe parents do make a difference, it really didn't discourage me from reading and having a great time with this book. It certainly makes me thinking twice about my parenting philosophy, what more I could've done with my kids and how I could influence them better by leading a good example.
Oct 25, 2009
Sabah
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Fascinating book on how children turn out the way they do and how. Harris' research is deep, accumulated over years of work within child psychology and her knowledge profound. However her vast book does not offer a conclusive response to what is best manner to raise children. Rather she claims genetics do not factor into in as much as assumed before and instead 'nature' (parents) lose in influence to 'nuture' (kids peers).
Aug 15, 2011
DeAnna
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I started a long review for this and my computer shut down, it wasn't saved. I will just say that the author is trying to make an argument that is interesting and worth considering, but the building blocks that she uses to make the argument, which are basically behavioral studies, are flawed and culturally specific. Therefore, I personally don't think her argument, which isn't much more than supported personal opinion, holds much weight.
Aug 29, 2010
Jim
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This is a challenge to the traditional belief that parents are the primary shapers of their children's personality and psychological life. Harris argues that it is biology and peers that are more significant. I found this book helpful in thinking more completely about this issue and in not accepting just the popular view that parent's are primarily responsible for their children's psychological development. What I didn't like was the style of writing--it started to feel a little bit like her
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Nov 09, 2011
Cameron
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Well worth checking out for those who have any interest in parenting, or in what influences our development. It provides compelling evidence that parents have almost no influence over their kid's social and personality development. What does? You'll be somewhat surprised, especially about it's overwhelming power.
Jun 14, 2011
Afghani84
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I have to say that i really liked Harris' book, both content and writing style. Backing it with very interesting studies/experiments, she questions the established belief that parents have an enormous influence on their children's personality and replaces it with her own theory of group and inter-group dynamics. In her opinion, our peers determine many of the characteristics we'll take with us to adulthood since we try to follow the norms of the group we're in and therefore get more and more sim
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Nov 14, 2010
Patmcclain
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Wonderful thinking. At first you think she's saying that parents don't matter but peers do. Well, she does say this but as long as the parents can determine the peers, parents have influence in this indirect way. She realizes the issue is more complicated than this and discusses it.
Oct 08, 2008
Misty
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Very fun and insightful read. I found her ideas salve to the current climate of "expert" opinions on childrearing. ALthough I am not a darwinist (as she is), her alter-argument to the assumption that every little thing we do has a permanent mark on our children helps assuage the guilt we've accumulated from all those studies done on how we should be the perfect parent. She points out the autonomy children are born with, that parents should not be blamed for most of children's develo
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Feb 17, 2010
Hispanicpundit
rated it:
A counterintuitive yet persuasive book that argues that what really shapes children's personality, future income, and overall place in life are not parents but peers and genetics. Yes, you heard that right - parents really don't matter. Atleast not as far as anything outside of influencing genes and peer group (by what neighborhood they live in, for example) goes.
I was hesitant to believe it at first but chapter after chapter Judith Harris has me convinced. It's no wonder the book c More...
I was hesitant to believe it at first but chapter after chapter Judith Harris has me convinced. It's no wonder the book c More...
Jul 25, 2011
Sam
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Judith Rich Harris shows that there's little evidence that (short of blatant abuse) parenting styles have predictable results. A must-read for parents or children of parents.
Aug 17, 2010
Michal
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Great book, a must-read for over-anxious fed with too may psychological theories parents. Well researched, convincing, eye-opening.
Jun 03, 2010
Christy
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Every parent should read this book, if only to reassure themselves that every day isn't a trap to do something that may "ruin" your kid.
Jun 28, 2010
another favorite. Lots to learn about why kids turn out the way they do. It is all nature!! Genetics.
Jul 01, 2011
John
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Group socialization theory states that children identify with a group consisting of their peers, that they tailor their behavior to the norms of their group,and that groups contrast themselves with other groups and adopt different norms (p. 248).
Jul 27, 2010
Tycoon
rated it:
Loses a star because it was so poorly written, but very interesting over all.
