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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want
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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want

3.94  ·  Rating Details ·  652 Ratings  ·  89 Reviews
From the authors of Women Don’t Ask, the groundbreaking book that revealed just how much women lose when they avoid negotiation, here is the action plan that women all over the country requested—a guide to negotiating anything effectively using strategies that feel comfortable to you as a woman.

Whether it’s a raise, that overdue promotion, an exciting new assignment, or e
Paperback, 336 pages
Published January 27th 2009 by Bantam (first published January 1st 2008)
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Mar 16, 2012 Rachel rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book was chosen for my faculty reading group and since it has been the only book I've read in the last 3 months, I'm gonna go ahead and review it. It is non-fiction and basically takes the stance that women get less than men (money, status, etc) because they don't ask for it. There were some good case studies presented, for example, women generally fail to negotiate on their first job offer whereas men almost always do. And, over a lifetime, that leg up on salary can really have an impact. ...more
Mar 18, 2008 Clare rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: women who work
I would recommend that any young woman just starting out in her career buy this book and keep it on the bookshelf to refer to as she progresses in her job. It gives very concrete information about how to negotiate on the job to get what you need and want. It is clear and practical with lots of examples of negotiating tactics. Even as an older woman with an established career, I am going to use some of the tactics when I apply for a new job soon. Excellent book.
Aug 28, 2016 Marrije rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Read this book, ladies. And profit.
Mariana López González
"Every aspect of your life has the potential to be transformed by negotiation. So rather than worrying about asking for too much, start thinking about what you really want. Reflect on what would delight you, not what you're willing to settle for."

Excelente libro, de esos que cambian completamente tu perspectiva sobre la vida, en más de un aspecto. Uno que tienen que leer todas las mujeres. (Empezando por muchas que conozco).

Las dos autoras escribieron este libro después de haber publicado "Wome
Lynne Spreen
Mar 20, 2012 Lynne Spreen rated it really liked it
I liked this book so much I did two blog posts about it. (

Here's a horrifying fact, quoting from the book: "This bias without malice starts early. In a study, school children were asked to perform a small task and then pay themselves what they thought they deserved. (First graders were asked to award themselves Hershey’s Kisses.)In first, fourth, seventh and tenth grades, girls consistently paid themselves 30% – 78% less than boys."

How does that make you
Jul 07, 2010 Mary rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: business
This is a very handy book! I decided to purchase a copy to have on hand for reference. The exercises are very helpful and I feel that the authors actually taught me more skill and confidence in the art of negotiations. I am someone who will bargain the pants off anyone, but learning how to really get what I want and need is not always easy. One of the most valuable attributes of this book is the way in which the authors ask the reader to really examine her wants, needs, and expectations in life. ...more
Ernestasia Siahaan
Jan 19, 2014 Ernestasia Siahaan rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
The head of my department gives this to all new women in the group, to encourage us to be bold in asking for what we deserve and speaking up our minds.

This book has been an eye-opener for me personally. We often accept our situation because we just assume that it's how it should be. The book shows that it is more a result of us not *knowing* that we could actually ask for a better situation.

I think the book is very well-written, and not at all the preachy kind you would expect from books in thi
I don't usually read business books, but a group at work was reading this. This book was really detailed and covered a lot of ground, from figuring out what you want and seeking role models, to the mechanics of negotiation, to exercises, to commentary on specific challenges for women based on how they're perceived when negotiating.

I definitely do not like books that claim innate, fatalistic sex differences. This one had a great focus on the context women live in - studies on how women are percei
Dec 10, 2013 Vonetta rated it really liked it
3.5 stars, but I'll round up. Waaaaay too many examples/stories of women's negotiating (mis)adventures. But there is helpful information about how to set up a negotiation, laid out very similarly to how a negotiations class would go (or at least it laid things out just like my MBA nego class, for better or worse). If you've taken a course, you'll find much of the instructional parts redundant, but I appreciated the overarching encouraging tone of the book. The authors want to stress that you're ...more
Lots of useful things. I am not going to do the 6 week course thing, and might not ever actually feel like I can negotiate things, but now I'll at least feel bad about it.

In all seriousness, though, even if I'll never be an aggressive asker-person, this book changed how I think about asking for things, in a good way. I'll probably revisit for situations when I might actually be needing to do such things.

One thing that bothered me is that it didn't give much help as to how to assess when a situ
Jul 25, 2015 Sarah rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
My prescient sister in law gave this book to me at a time when I needed it (and I did get the raise!). I found this book an eye opener about how often we as women downplay our value, make excuses to avoid speaking up, and miss opportunities. I was dismayed that as an empowered, educated woman I still fell into the same traps of devaluing my work and waiting on others to speak up for me at work, and used many of the same justifications for my actions that were outlined in the book.

I wish every w
Feb 23, 2015 Anne rated it really liked it
I received this book as part of the course materials for a one-day Negotiation course offered by WinSETT (Women in Science, Engineering, Technology, and Trades). This book was extremely valuable in talking me through how negotiations work, common problems, and how to evaluate my own life and plan for negotiations. I've recommended it to nearly everybody I know who's looking for a new job as well as people looking for a raise. Also, while it is written for women, nearly all of the advice would al ...more
Minjia Qiu
May 09, 2016 Minjia Qiu rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The premises is critical for all women - if you don't ask you'll never get what you want, and ask for more than what you think you could get so there's a negotiation. We instinctively do this as toddlers, throw tantrums to get what we want; but somewhere before we turn adults, boys learn that taking risks by asking is reasonable, while girls wait for boys to ask them out. This book lays out the facts and stats, and provides concrete examples and practical tips on preparing to negotiate.
Mar 23, 2015 Yi-Hsuan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2015
Wish I'd read this a long, long time ago. The information is nothing earth shattering, but I'm giving this four stars because this, in some part or other, helped me say "I demand more money!" - which I'm sure is a phrase most people would never think I'd say. (a few times now!)

Though, to be sure, requests shouldn't be baseless. So, make sure you do your work, do it well, and do your research into your fair market value!
Aug 31, 2014 Amanda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I didn't think I needed this book. I'm a pretty ballsy gal who generally speaks her mind. But reading through this made me realize that I've been going about it all wrong and there are several places in my life where I should have negotiated and where I should be negotiating. This really helped me as I'm thinking through my job search, and I now have a bunch of tools to deal with salary negotiations and similar situations in the future. Read it, ladies!
Nov 14, 2010 Katie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Essential reading for any woman looking to achieve more professionally, socially, at home - in any capacity. Thoughtful, approachable, and full of easily achievable suggestions, laced with an insightful examination on the culture that sets up women to ask for less, or not ask at all. No, really: READ THIS!
Rebecca Saxton
I thought this was a well written book and found it to be informative in the fact to ask for certain things outside of the work place that I would have never thought of to do before. Also , I believe it was very helpful to see that men tend to negotiate more for their salary than women do.
Ooooh! We were holding steady at 4 stars, despite the overly shiny-happy attitude, and then blammo, we pulled up hard in the "likability" chapter. Which made my head spin around, just like in the exorcist.
Nov 18, 2015 Lindsey rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Read it, ladies, and stop feeling guilty.
Mar 17, 2016 Kaa rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: business
Negotiation book with the content that can be used by both genders, but, be aware, all examples are women.

(Second half is better than first one).
Alberto Lopez
Feb 22, 2017 Alberto Lopez rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: my-favorites
Whether you are an avid feminist or the best dad in the world, you want to read this book. And that's because it reveals the first plausible solution to the glass ceiling problem faced by women in our society. In essence, all else is just noise and fails under even superficial scrutiny. On the other hand the books thesis that women simply don't ask for as much as men do seems to tightly correlate with the statistical gap surrounding the problem. Better yet, I can do something about it to help my ...more
Asli Aladag
Feb 16, 2017 Asli Aladag rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is an awesome book that gives tips and tricks to women in negotiating in various situations. You will feel empowered after reading it
Becki Iverson
Oct 31, 2016 Becki Iverson rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
After a while a lot of career advice books can feel really redundant. Ask For It does not fall into that category. This book contains vitally important information for anyone who needs to negotiate but particularly women as they negotiate contracts and raises. It is easy to read but full of great data and applicable tips to practice your way to becoming a negotiations star. I loved not just how easy to utilize the tips in here were but the numerous stories about how they have worked - and failed ...more
Aug 15, 2011 Kristin rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: leadership
Recommended by my colleague Kathy. I started to read this book in preparation for two new roles at work. I anticipated that I'd be asked to add them on top of my current workload (and I have been). We'll see what I can do with these techniques!

The book opens with data on how women fair poorly in salary negotiations. But, the book encourages a thorough examination of what's desired at work, at home and in relationships. It takes the attitude that "everything is negotiable". It then moves into the
May 30, 2015 Lori rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book was recommended by a co-worker. I have maybe been on the road to seeking what is important to me for too long. I found myself skimming two-thirds of the book. Key topics seemed to be for the less experienced who have not yet been long in the work force:
- First you have to know what you want!
- Focus on you rtarget; never lose sight.
- Talk through what can be negotiated to the satisfaction of what both parties want.
- Buy yourself some time by asking open-ended questions instead of yes/no
Mar 13, 2013 Caitlin rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: pub-lib, audiobook
Audio was probably not the best format to read this in.

I really liked this book, I thought it was very practical and helpful while also giving a pep talk that was much needed. I will probably buy a hard copy of this book so I can refer to it when necessary.

That being said, I listened to this book on audio and although it was very well done and in the early chapters was quite great, as we got into the later, more practical parts with lists and guidelines and assignments, it's just that something
Michelle Han
Jul 26, 2008 Michelle Han rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I attended a talk and panel discussion organized by my alma mater, Carnegie Mellon, here in NY recently, and this book was the main topic. It was a fascinating discussion. Linda Babcock is a professor at the Heinz School (think MBA's for public sector) who has done a lot of great work on women and negotiation. It never fails to amaze me how much women underestimate themselves, and how differently men and women think about their value.

I highly recommend this book for women in any field, and even
Jennifer Glass
I enjoyed the second half of this book better than the first half. The first half was mostly filled with page-long personal experience clips (i.e. “Deanna worked for four years as a legal assistant and decided she wanted a raise. She went to talk to her boss….”) These examples got very old very fast -- there were just too many of them. I enjoyed Phase 3 and 4 much more as they provided more concrete advice about how to improve negotiation tactics. A real strength of this book is the suggestions ...more
April Corbett (Dorris)
I probably listened to this book at the wrong time. I got bored half way through the book, but I don’t want that to reflect on what I think of the subject matter itself. Books like this are incredibly helpful for women navigating both at home and at work. I would like to be able to say we women have really turned things around but we do have a long way to go still. We do typically have trouble negotiating and knowing our worth. I have gotten better at this myself, but I still too have trouble de ...more
Aug 16, 2011 Ashley rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Ashley by: Devina Patel
Shelves: career
This book immensely readable, but the content was awful. Both authors have an agenda - to make you believe that women have somehow been "cheated" out of what they deserved because they don't ask for it. I resent many of the authors recommendations on behavior, which suggest that a woman should act like a man in order to get ahead. Regardless of the difference in our outlooks, I would be lying if I said that it didn't change how I viewed male/female negotiations.

The tidbits that I would recommen
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Recommended 1 4 Nov 19, 2008 05:58PM  
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Linda C. Babcock is the James Mellon Walton Professor of Economics at the H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has also served as director of the Ph.D. Program and Interim Dean at the Heinz School.

Dr. Babcock grew up in Altadena, California, and attended public schools there before earning her bachelor's degree in e
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