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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want
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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want

3.91 of 5 stars 3.91  ·  rating details  ·  371 ratings  ·  64 reviews
From the authors of Women Don’t Ask, the groundbreaking book that revealed just how much women lose when they avoid negotiation, here is the action plan that women all over the country requested—a guide to negotiating anything effectively using strategies that feel comfortable to you as a woman.

Whether it’s a raise, that overdue promotion, an exciting new assignment, or e
Paperback, 336 pages
Published January 27th 2009 by Bantam (first published January 1st 2008)
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Mar 18, 2008 Clare rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: women who work
I would recommend that any young woman just starting out in her career buy this book and keep it on the bookshelf to refer to as she progresses in her job. It gives very concrete information about how to negotiate on the job to get what you need and want. It is clear and practical with lots of examples of negotiating tactics. Even as an older woman with an established career, I am going to use some of the tactics when I apply for a new job soon. Excellent book.
This book was chosen for my faculty reading group and since it has been the only book I've read in the last 3 months, I'm gonna go ahead and review it. It is non-fiction and basically takes the stance that women get less than men (money, status, etc) because they don't ask for it. There were some good case studies presented, for example, women generally fail to negotiate on their first job offer whereas men almost always do. And, over a lifetime, that leg up on salary can really have an impact. ...more
Lynne Spreen
I liked this book so much I did two blog posts about it. (

Here's a horrifying fact, quoting from the book: "This bias without malice starts early. In a study, school children were asked to perform a small task and then pay themselves what they thought they deserved. (First graders were asked to award themselves Hershey’s Kisses.)In first, fourth, seventh and tenth grades, girls consistently paid themselves 30% – 78% less than boys."

How does that make you
This is a very handy book! I decided to purchase a copy to have on hand for reference. The exercises are very helpful and I feel that the authors actually taught me more skill and confidence in the art of negotiations. I am someone who will bargain the pants off anyone, but learning how to really get what I want and need is not always easy. One of the most valuable attributes of this book is the way in which the authors ask the reader to really examine her wants, needs, and expectations in life. ...more
I didn't think I needed this book. I'm a pretty ballsy gal who generally speaks her mind. But reading through this made me realize that I've been going about it all wrong and there are several places in my life where I should have negotiated and where I should be negotiating. This really helped me as I'm thinking through my job search, and I now have a bunch of tools to deal with salary negotiations and similar situations in the future. Read it, ladies!
3.5 stars, but I'll round up. Waaaaay too many examples/stories of women's negotiating (mis)adventures. But there is helpful information about how to set up a negotiation, laid out very similarly to how a negotiations class would go (or at least it laid things out just like my MBA nego class, for better or worse). If you've taken a course, you'll find much of the instructional parts redundant, but I appreciated the overarching encouraging tone of the book. The authors want to stress that you're ...more
Rebecca Saxton
I thought this was a well written book and found it to be informative in the fact to ask for certain things outside of the work place that I would have never thought of to do before. Also , I believe it was very helpful to see that men tend to negotiate more for their salary than women do.
Ernestasia Siahaan
The head of my department gives this to all new women in the group, to encourage us to be bold in asking for what we deserve and speaking up our minds.

This book has been an eye-opener for me personally. We often accept our situation because we just assume that it's how it should be. The book shows that it is more a result of us not *knowing* that we could actually ask for a better situation.

I think the book is very well-written, and not at all the preachy kind you would expect from books in thi
This is an important book that covers the topic quite well. Negotiation is a skill that we all need in everyday life even though most people often think about how good they are at it when they think of negotiating salary, or the price of house or car. The book covers everything from establishing what your BATNA is to forseeing potential problems and thinking of possible things you could say to salvage the situation. I did think that some of the examples were too perfect i.e. most people got what ...more
Ooooh! We were holding steady at 4 stars, despite the overly shiny-happy attitude, and then blammo, we pulled up hard in the "likability" chapter. Which made my head spin around, just like in the exorcist.
Recommended by my colleague Kathy. I started to read this book in preparation for two new roles at work. I anticipated that I'd be asked to add them on top of my current workload (and I have been). We'll see what I can do with these techniques!

The book opens with data on how women fair poorly in salary negotiations. But, the book encourages a thorough examination of what's desired at work, at home and in relationships. It takes the attitude that "everything is negotiable". It then moves into the
Audio was probably not the best format to read this in.

I really liked this book, I thought it was very practical and helpful while also giving a pep talk that was much needed. I will probably buy a hard copy of this book so I can refer to it when necessary.

That being said, I listened to this book on audio and although it was very well done and in the early chapters was quite great, as we got into the later, more practical parts with lists and guidelines and assignments, it's just that something
Bik Q.
I thought this book was very insightful and gave good examples of how to negotiate for different situations. The author explained how to approach the situation and what to say. It was also interesting to know how women are perceive by society and if a woman acts aggressively it is perceive negatively compared to if a man acted the same way. It's a good resource book. Highly recommend.
Jennifer Glass
I enjoyed the second half of this book better than the first half. The first half was mostly filled with page-long personal experience clips (i.e. “Deanna worked for four years as a legal assistant and decided she wanted a raise. She went to talk to her boss….”) These examples got very old very fast -- there were just too many of them. I enjoyed Phase 3 and 4 much more as they provided more concrete advice about how to improve negotiation tactics. A real strength of this book is the suggestions ...more
Wish I'd read this a long, long time ago. The information is nothing earth shattering, but I'm giving this four stars because this, in some part or other, helped me say "I demand more money!" - which I'm sure is a phrase most people would never think I'd say. (a few times now!)

Though, to be sure, requests shouldn't be baseless. So, make sure you do your work, do it well, and do your research into your fair market value!
April Dorris
I probably listened to this book at the wrong time. I got bored half way through the book, but I don’t want that to reflect on what I think of the subject matter itself. Books like this are incredibly helpful for women navigating both at home and at work. I would like to be able to say we women have really turned things around but we do have a long way to go still. We do typically have trouble negotiating and knowing our worth. I have gotten better at this myself, but I still too have trouble de ...more
Michelle Han
I attended a talk and panel discussion organized by my alma mater, Carnegie Mellon, here in NY recently, and this book was the main topic. It was a fascinating discussion. Linda Babcock is a professor at the Heinz School (think MBA's for public sector) who has done a lot of great work on women and negotiation. It never fails to amaze me how much women underestimate themselves, and how differently men and women think about their value.

I highly recommend this book for women in any field, and even
Laura Austin
This was a gift - and not something I would have chosen for myself. However, by the third page I realised what a steep learning curve it was going to bring. The examples, of women in numerous situations having negotiated their way to what they wanted were really inspiring. Wish I'd read it years ago!
Wow! Everyone should read this, not just women. Seriously, the people who bargain and how they do it use the techniques in this book to overcome non-assertive, non-confrontational people. I feel ready to take on the next big negotiations in my future job, at home and with my family. Super read!
Great book to have in your library. A lot of useful tips and breaks down the questions you have about negotiating and getting what you want from your career. Highly recommended to all young professionals and a great resource to share to others with the same issues.
Laura Callanan
Every woman should read this book. Negotiating is very hard--especially for women. This book takes a very pragmatic approach to the issue with real life examples and sample language. It also addresses larger issues of gender equity and differing expectations.
Lots of useful things. I am not going to do the 6 week course thing, and might not ever actually feel like I can negotiate things, but now I'll at least feel bad about it.

In all seriousness, though, even if I'll never be an aggressive asker-person, this book changed how I think about asking for things, in a good way. I'll probably revisit for situations when I might actually be needing to do such things.

One thing that bothered me is that it didn't give much help as to how to assess when a situ
Aug 28, 2011 Ashley rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Ashley by: Devina Patel
Shelves: career
This book immensely readable, but the content was awful. Both authors have an agenda - to make you believe that women have somehow been "cheated" out of what they deserved because they don't ask for it. I resent many of the authors recommendations on behavior, which suggest that a woman should act like a man in order to get ahead. Regardless of the difference in our outlooks, I would be lying if I said that it didn't change how I viewed male/female negotiations.

The tidbits that I would recommen
Susan Visser
This book is a must read for all women and all people with daughters. Women do not negotiate like men and as a result leave much money on the table. This book will explain what is going on and how to fix it. The world is still not fair to women: A women who negotiates is a bitch; a man who uses the exact same words & tone for a negotiation, has balls. Women have to be likable in negotiations or ends up turning off her negotiating partner.

Very fast read and one that deserves a second or third
Parts of this are a bit outdated and it can get a bit repetitive, but it made me reflect on how little I have negotiated in my life and how often men negotiate. Time to step it up!
Builds on some techniques in "Getting to Yes" but also with specific information/trends/habits relating to women in the workforce. Really good book for the career skills library.
This had a lot of good practical advise for learning on to negotiate for what you want, in all kinds of relationships including asking for what you want at work.
In general: yes. All my female colleagues should read this book. Sometimes I wanted them to cut to the instructions, which are good. To get there, you wander through a great forest of anecdotes, some of which felt superfluous. But I kept discovering that the anecdotes are relevant to my own concerns and, more effectively than the instructions, lay to rest many of the most common objections and excuses to the author's argument that we all should "ask for it" more.

In addition, they've summarized

I really liked this book. I think it should be recommended reading for most women. I think there are some women for whom this book is already in their system, but I think for the majority of women there is a little voice that overshadows what this book brings to light.

I like vignettes, the book is littered with them, but that is how I internalize. I like that the book breaks things down into bites and does give you homework if you choose to do it.

This book is light for such a heavy topic and I
This book was suggested by a friend. I found it insightful on how negotiation is expected. I never thought of negotiation as something I should practice on daily basis. Just this past weekend I negotiated $100 off my tire purchases. Three stars for the formatting of the book, and the dry nature of all the anecdotes. Would have been a better fit to make it a lengthy informative article than a book.

I will probably never read this book again, but will remember it's biggest takeaway. Negotiating is
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Recommended 1 3 Nov 19, 2008 05:58PM  
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