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You Are Not a Stranger Here

by Adam Haslett (Goodreads Author)

3.9 of 5 stars 3.90 · rating details · 1,791 ratings · 235 reviews

In his bestselling and lavishly praised first book of stories, Adam Haslett explores lives that appear shuttered by loss and discovers entire worlds hidden inside them. The impact is at once harrowing and thrilling.

An elderly inventor, burning with manic creativity, tries to reconcile with his estranged gay son. A bereaved boy draws a thuggish classmate into a relationship...more

Paperback, 256 pages

Published August 12th 2003 by Anchor (first published 2002)

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A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories by Flannery O'Connor

Complete Stories and Poems by Edgar Allan Poe

Collections of Short Stories

296th out of 1,167 books — 878 voters

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The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith

NBC's Today Show Book Club

37th out of 45 books — 170 voters

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Oct 31, 2009 Jacob rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2008-2009

October 2009

I bought this collection on a whim a few years ago--found it cheap at an online sale--but didn’t expect much from it. Something about it, the cover or the title or something else, discouraged me from reading it. Then, a while ago, I read "Notes to My Biographer," about an old inventor with an unspecified mental illness trying to reconcile with his gay son, and still wasn’t impressed. But I’ve been on a short story marathon for the past year, so I thought I should give the book anothe...more

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May 11, 2013 oriana rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-2012

Here's what this book is about: fathers and sons, ailing relatives, madness and its inheritability, homosexuality and its consequences, the slippery boundaries between sanity and in-.

It's sad and lonely and full of longing and ache. Many of the stories end with a twist—not like the twist of a road under your wheels, but the twist of a metaphorical knife in a metaphorical back, making an already sorrowful and unfortunate tale even sadder. Everything is overlain with melancholy, with hurt, with t...more

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May 11, 2008 James rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you are a fan of mental disorders rendered honestly in a modern world, here you go!

3 likes · like · see review

Mar 31, 2011 Patrick Faller rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was not one of my favorite books, but it does stand as one of the more interesting, challenging collections I've read, mostly because Haslett's fiction delves into highly charged issues without sacrificing narrative integrity but also because Haslett's prose is so perplexing, at once seeming carefully composed and ostentatiously extravagant in its use of detail.

Haslett explores mental illness and homosexuality as sources of societal stigma, following his characters as they struggle with fa...more

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Apr 20, 2008 Chad rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Everyone on the planet. It's an important, necessary book to read.

Recommended to Chad by: Michael Lowenthal

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I find it difficult to write objectively about Adam Haslett’s fiction. After reading (over and over, studying, underlining words, sentences, sometimes entire paragraphs) You Are Not a Stranger Here, Haslett’s first book, a collection of stories that was a finalist for both the Pulitzer Prize and The National Book Award, I wanted to write a few paragraphs analyzing the theme of mental illness, a subject that occurs in almost half the collection’s stories. As I try to compose my ideas, find my ow...more I find it difficult to write objectively about Adam Haslett’s fiction. After reading (over and over, studying, underlining words, sentences, sometimes entire paragraphs) You Are Not a Stranger Here, Haslett’s first book, a collection of stories that was a finalist for both the Pulitzer Prize and The National Book Award, I wanted to write a few paragraphs analyzing the theme of mental illness, a subject that occurs in almost half the collection’s stories. As I try to compose my ideas, find my own words to adequately convey the beauty and complexity with which Haslett constructs his narratives and characters, I am left with this sentiment: You Are Not a Stranger Here is the strongest collection of short stories by one author I’ve ever read.
One of the fascinating ways Haslett explores mental illness is by showing its effects on those closest to the afflicted person. This is clearly shown in “War’s End.” Paul and his wife Ellen travel to England because Ellen is researching correspondence written by women on the World War II home front. Paul is clinically depressed, and Haslett launches readers into Paul’s mindset. Readers see the world as Paul does, and the sensory images are so visceral that readers come to understand Paul’s pain. Haslett conveys the extreme effort it requires for Paul to perform simple tasks like responding to Ellen’s questions. Paul is acutely aware of how his illness affects Ellen, and he plans to throw himself off a cliff so he will no longer burden her. This is when Mrs. McLaggan, a stranger Paul locks eyes with in a restaurant, intervenes and introduces Paul to Albert, her young grandson who’s dying of psoriasis. Mrs. McLaggan tells Paul, “ ‘In the restaurant the other night…I recognized you somehow, not like I’d met you or such, but nonetheless.” Haslett’s gift lies in examining the intimate effects strangers can have on our lives, and Paul provides comfort for Albert by reading him stories about kings. The connection between these two characters, one dying from the body, the other, the mind, is intelligent and subtle, as are the effects these illnesses have on the two people closest to Paul and Albert: Ellen and Mrs. McLaggan.
In “The Volunteer” Elizabeth Maynard is a woman who has battled schizophrenia her entire life. Institutionalized at a young age, Elizabeth nonetheless attracts the attention of Will, a man who marries her. After Elizabeth’s first child arrives stillborn, her schizophrenia becomes unmanageable. She hears the voice and has visions of a woman named Hester, a seventeenth-century ancestor who died giving birth in Elizabeth’s house. Elizabeth now lives in Plymouth Brewster Structured Living Facility, Will having long ago abandoned her and remarried, and she is heavily medicated on Primidone, which, apparently, tempers Hester’s presence. Ted, a high-school volunteer, comes once a week to sit with Elizabeth, and as Haslett states, “The boy has reminded her of what there is to miss.” Ted awakens feelings of youthfulness and love in Elizabeth. She stops taking the Primidone, and her senses heighten. “She’d been on the drugs so long she’s forgotten many ordinary satisfactions. What cold water feels like in a parched mouth. The pleasure concentration on a single thought can yield.” Without the medication, Hester is constantly present, and “The Volunteer” examines with tenderness and introspection the sacrifices we make to feel fully alive. Unlike Elizabeth’s family, Ted does not abandon her. Ted’s mother suffers from severe depression, so Ted is able to understand Elizabeth’s condition. He believes that Hester, for Elizabeth at least, is a real presence. Ted in turn reminds Elizabeth of her son who died at birth, and the story leads to a conclusion that unites Ted and Elizabeth in a bond of painful understanding.
Haslett writes his characters with deep respect and admiration for those who are suffering. In a lesser writer’s hands, characters like Paul and Elizabeth might read as victims, but this is never the case in You Are Not a Stranger Here. On the contrary, Haslett’s stores show how beautiful “this world can be if you aren’t actually in it.”

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Mar 20, 2009 Jeff rated it 2 of 5 stars

Perhaps i had high expectations for this book, or high hopes, as my expectations of anything are generally pretty low. Or perhaps i was biased by the silly picture of the author on the back, with that pseudo-Truman Capote thing going on. Everything i'd heard described this as genius, the next great writer, etc.. and there is definitely talent here. But i found it all a bit too controlled, especially the humor, which i recognized as humor, and appreciated a certain cleverness in the humor, but i...more

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Mar 16, 2013 John Beck rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed, fiction

http://www.andalittlewine.blogspot.com/2012/10/when-we-talk-about-mental-disorde...

When We Talk About Mental Disorders in Fiction
When I listen to music, I've found, I alternate between two kinds of favorite musicians. I love bands with multiple voices, who alternate the lead, who create music with tight harmonies- Barenaked Ladies, the Weepies, Slow Club. Or I love male singers who who are better writers than singers: Bruce Springsteen, James McMurtry, to a lesser extent Jackson Browne.

It's my p...more http://www.andalittlewine.blogspot.com/2012/10/when-we-talk-about-mental-disorde...

When We Talk About Mental Disorders in Fiction
When I listen to music, I've found, I alternate between two kinds of favorite musicians. I love bands with multiple voices, who alternate the lead, who create music with tight harmonies- Barenaked Ladies, the Weepies, Slow Club. Or I love male singers who who are better writers than singers: Bruce Springsteen, James McMurtry, to a lesser extent Jackson Browne.

It's my preference, and it leaves me blind to the value of plenty of other performers. Most female soloists, especially pop singers who hit the high notes, do nothing for me. I'm sure it's often pretty, but if I can't sing along, I'm just not that interested in sitting through more than a song or two.

So when I read, I'm usually on the lookout for a few things. In one of the books I'm reading now, Adam Haslett's You Are Not a Stranger Here, I get many of the things I most enjoy- short stories, deftly drawn people, a variety of settings.

What I'm missing- what has me stalled about 30 pages from the end- is a variety of characters pressing against the boundaries of themselves. Haslett's characters are all pressed against the same boundary; they are a slew of people in the midst of mental health crises, and we either learn that nothing can be done to help this person, or we learn that the one in crisis is really the sane one.

Here's the thing about mental disorders- I don't understand them. Sure, I joke about my quirks- ADD with workaholic OCD, but I know (or I think I know) that I am painfully normal. The challenge of great art is to take us to a place that we can hardly imagine and make it understandable- Lolita, Lord of the Flies, As I Lay Dying. And as much as Haslett captures the tone of mania and the tone of depression (I recognize those people, those voices), he does not bring me to a point of understanding, beyond the certainty that something is wrong. Maybe that's the point and I'm missing it, but I remain uncompelled by all be the best stories of unstoppable forces and immovable objects.

It's interesting how much how I read influences my enjoyment. I started Stranger months ago, reading a few pages in bed each night. Then, because I was finally hooked enough to not be able to put it down, the lack of variety sapped my enthusiasm. I kept waiting for another change of pace, like the story "Divination," a blend of magical realism and parental shame that felt like an homage to the JD Salinger story "Teddy."(less)

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Aug 04, 2012 Hannah added it

My edition of this includes quite a lot of slobbering cover quotes from reputable sources, among them the NY Times, which says "you should buy this book, and you should read it, and you should admire it."

One out of three ain't bad, I suppose. This book left me with an awful malaise - the sad events detailed within are often not crashingly sad, but the way they're told leached all the piff out of me. I do not demand happy stories with happy endings, not at all, but I prefer to have more, and diff...more

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Jul 21, 2012 Stephanie A. Higa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Collection of extremely depressing stories. Adam Haslett writes well in terms of emotional expression and word choice, but most of these stories lack (1) a compelling plot, (2) compelling characters, and (3) a proper ending. By "proper ending" I don't mean happily ever after, but a resolution drawn naturally from the prior events that distinguish a story from just a nicely-written scene. (Admittedly biased against slice-of-life; it's never been my cup of tea.)

"Notes to My Biographer" and "Devoti...more

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Jun 28, 2012 Orsodimondo rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: americana, racconti

LA GIUSTA DISTANZA
Qual è? Quella che adotta Adam Haslett. Come si misura? Né troppo vicino né troppo lontano: alla giusta distanza, appunto. Empatia senza indulgere al compiacimento.
Sicuramente Haslett si muove a suo agio fra le storie, i personaggi, e le ambientazioni della sua raccolta, perfettamente inserito, per nulla estraneo (il titolo originale è You are not a stranger here che fa a gara in bellezza con quello italiano). E anch’io mi sono sentito subito a casa, sin dalla prima pagina.
No...more

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Jul 03, 2010 Marika rated it 4 of 5 stars

Again courtesy of Sue, I have recently finished You Are not a Stranger Here. It is a collection of short stories with the running theme of mental illness. Might not be for everyone (!!) but I definitely enjoyed it. The characters' problems rum the gamut: acute to chronic, depression, grief, schizophrenia, manic.

I especially loved the inside view of a manic depressive's manic state. It puts my good days / bad days cycle to shame! I can have a few days of what I would consider amazing productivity...more

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Mar 17, 2010 Raul Clement rated it 4 of 5 stars

Saw him read from his new novel yesterday. Ultimately, his writing strikes me as a little bland. He's good with character and in this collection he does some nifty experimenting, but there's something a little careful and restrained about even his experiments. His stuff seems over-workshopped. I'd compare him to Jonathan Franzen--the poor man's version.

There is one truly great story in this collection, though: Devotion. It's about a brother's betrayal of his sister and the long-term consequences...more

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Feb 04, 2013 Oona Stieglitz rated it 3 of 5 stars

Like any great short story writer, Haslett has the ability to quickly plunge into the minds of his characters, not unlike those brave/crazy folks who practice the sport of cliff diving. All the protagonists have mental health issues or are close to people who do. But the author never strays into the maudlin or portrays his characters as people to be pitied. In fact, most stories present a matter of fact tone, as if reading a grocery shopping list. Here is an example of how a critical and alarmin...more

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Mar 28, 2012 Leslie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-reads, for-the-older-crowd, lit-with-a-big-l, short-story-anthology

“You and all the inheritors of wealth who think life is a matter of perfected sentiment. You are wrong.” (“The Volunteer” 237)

You know those books you should have just gone ahead and read because people you trust swore by them? You Are Not a Stranger Here: Stories by Adam Haslett has been sitting on our shelves since I think 2003. It is Sean’s copy and he and our friend Kevin were the ones swearing. In my own defense, each were wrecked by the read (in a good way) and sad was a word oft repeated...more

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Feb 20, 2012 Matt rated it 3 of 5 stars

These stories are well-executed, realistic portrayals of characters suffering from mental illness, but it's pretty damn punishing to go through each of these characters' personal pains story after story. This may just be my own sensibility as a reader, but I was more engaged with the handful of supposedly normal protagonists--the ones who didn't require medication necessarily, but who experienced the everyday neuroses and crippling insecurities that are just capable of ruining our lives. The you...more

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Jan 30, 2011 Larry Buhl rated it 4 of 5 stars

Dark, dark, dark. That works for me. All of the stories have to do with alienation, depression, homosexuality (a brutal coming out, dying of AIDS, resigning to a life of no affection), decay, mental illness... am I missing something? All of these topics are great, and the overarching theme is, I guess, alienation. But the stories are uneven. Some of them, like "The beginning of grief," and "War's End," pack a punch and lingered with me days later. Others are ambitious but fall flat. A few seem p...more

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Oct 21, 2012 Roxanne rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: short-stories

This book was given to me by a teacher and dear friend several years ago; I never got a chance to read it, then I moved, then it was stuck in a box. I recently found it and thought I'd give it a try. Haslett's writing is certainly compelling - there's a little bit of heavy metaphor where simplicity might have done better, but hey, it's a first book, overall it's really solid. The problem for me was that it was so damn depressing. I don't know. As a new mom, I tend to imagine every horrible thing...more

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Aug 28, 2012 Scott added it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 02, 2011 Josh rated it 5 of 5 stars

A new favorite. I gasped out loud during at least three of the stories. Everything builds so well. Thematically the stories often deal with two of my favorite topics: mental illness and gay. Haslett walks you unwittingly into the most brutal core of experience. I'm very thankful that a writer this capable of making us recognize our base desires is writing gay male characters. There are loose ends here and there and one story only impressed me (the others felt like epiphanies), but if he keeps wo...more

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Jul 15, 2008 Ernie rated it 2 of 5 stars

I was quite excited to read this book. I had read so many great things about his short stories, and I was looking forward to diving right into the book. There were definitely some strong stories, but overall, I thought the book fell a little flat.

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May 24, 2010 M rated it 5 of 5 stars

I idly picked this up off the counter at the house where I'm petsitting and can hardly set it back down. I've become a fan of short stories, after avoiding them for some unknown reason for many years. These are nothing less than amazing! I was able to focus for more than an hour and a half, an almost unheard of feat for me. I would have kept reading if I didn't need to sleep for work the next day.

I had to get this from the library to finish and sadly, had only one story left. There was only one...more

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Mar 22, 2010 Cheryl marked it as to-read

from an old list:
Jonathan Franzen's selection: 'You Are Not a Stranger Here'
In "You Are Not a Stranger Here," nine richly varied stories carry readers into the hearts and minds of people facing life's most profound dilemmas. Readers meet an aging inventor still burning with ideas as he makes a final visit to his gay son. A psychiatrist's encounter with a reluctant patient reveals a young doctor's own needs and fears. An orphaned boy finds solace in a classmate's violence, and more. Selected as t...more

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Nov 30, 2011 Michael Pahr rated it 5 of 5 stars

I don't read a lot of short stories, partially because I often feel like I don't "get" them. So I'm also a little unsure how to rate a book of short stories. In this book of 9 stories, there were definitely 3 or 4 "5-star" stories that I thought were excellent. They were so vivid and compelling that I felt like I started to understand what short stories are all about. The rest of the stories were perfectly fine....good, even. At first this added up to a 4-star review, but after I thought about i...more

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Nov 05, 2012 Alex Scales rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: literature, shortstorycollections

"I don't find them (his stories) sad at all because for me the saddest thing is compulsory happiness, the notion that a happy ending is something we have to have. I don't think stories have to have happy endings in order to be stories that contain a kind of redemptive quality." - Haslett himself.

I'm not asking for a happy ending, but damned if this isn't the most one-note melancholy book I have ever read. Yeah, there's a sense of change/redemption in the end, but I'm still just not feeling it. H...more

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Aug 11, 2009 elisha logan rated it 4 of 5 stars

I found this book at a book fair.I didn't realize it was a collection of short stories.I usually stay away from them because it's too dramatic to be abruptly pulled away from the characters you've just started to get to know.That said, I stuck with this book because I really enjoyed the stories of people who are struggling with some sort of mental health issue and the struggles they face.I felt the writer did a good job getting inside their minds.I really liked the endings of some of them-a few...more

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Jul 07, 2010 Maxschleicher rated it 4 of 5 stars

I think there are probably three or four tremendous stories in this collection. The others didn't always satisfy me.

When he is off, Adam Haslett seems stretch the drama and plot so much that the characters seem somewhat unreal.

When he is on, Haslett is a lot fun to read. The stories move quickly; the prose is unpretentious. Each story comes to a well constructed moment of intense, complicated emotion. In particular, I liked the stories, "The Good Doctor," "War's End," "Reunion" and "The Volunte...more

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Mar 01, 2009 Djrmel rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, fiction, short-stories

All of the stories in this collection deal with characters that are suffering emotionally. Sometimes, it is because of psychosis - in The Volunteer a woman who's break with reality occurred during the birth and death of her only child is befriended by a young man going through first love while his family fails to deal with it's own mental illness. Sometimes it is grief - in The Beginnings of Grief a young man masks the pain of the death of his parents by subjecting himself to abuse from an equal...more

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May 08, 2009 Liz rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who are feeling way too happy

This is a collection of short stories, that I don't remember too well because it's been a couple of weeks now, but I do remember being very impressed with the writing. I also remember thinking that his poor author must have had quite a life, because all of the stories revolve around mental illness and the difficulties of family members growing up around such challenges as bipolar disorders, depression, suicide, to name a few. Not happy stories, but very well written. A National Book Award Finali...more

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Feb 02, 2013 Alex Dorf rated it 5 of 5 stars

The strength of this book is Haslett's unswerving empathy. Most books about mental illness stop at sympathy -- they create characters that move us and make us tear up and donate little sums to worthy charities. But they operate largely in a closed world. A teeny subset of archetypes shuffle back and forth between pain and salvation like the zombies in Dawn of the Dead endlessly circling the mall escalators.

The problem is that the obvious primary sources to draw characters are personal experienc...more

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Dec 22, 2011 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011-2012

Although I am generally not a fan of fiction books, Adam Haslett’s You Are Not a Stranger Here was a surprisingly good book. Although technically speaking this book is a collection of short stories, Haslett uses a series of unique techniques to tie the individual stories together. The last story, entitled “The Volunteer,” incorporates elements from almost all of the previous chapters, creating the perfect ending to Haslett’s book. The first chapter comes across at first as an author’s note of so...more Although I am generally not a fan of fiction books, Adam Haslett’s You Are Not a Stranger Here was a surprisingly good book. Although technically speaking this book is a collection of short stories, Haslett uses a series of unique techniques to tie the individual stories together. The last story, entitled “The Volunteer,” incorporates elements from almost all of the previous chapters, creating the perfect ending to Haslett’s book. The first chapter comes across at first as an author’s note of sorts, although readers quickly realize that it is actually a short story within itself. Titled “Notes to My Biographer,” this first chapter is about a brilliant inventor trying to reconnect with his son. It is suggested that he has been traveling from relative to relative, living with them for a short period of time and then moving on to the next house. It is in this chapter that Haslett introduces many of the themes and topics he incorporates in all of the subsequent chapters, particularly his final story. This first chapter ends with the father leaving his son, presumably forever. Throughout the book, Haslett uses the landscape and setting of situations to convey how certain characters are feeling. For example, by saying “descending glass cage” rather than elevator, Haslett conveys to readers that for the narrator – in this case the father – this is much more than an elevator ride (23). Haslett ends this first chapter by describing the view from the narrator’s eyes, saying “In the distance, the shimmering pier just into the vast darkness of the ocean like a burning ship launched into the night” (23). By ending with this unique description, Haslett is able to convey the narrator’s feelings of regret to readers without every mentioning him.

In the next few chapters, Haslett conveys to readers the everyday struggles of various individuals. “The Good Doctor” shows one psychiatrist's experience with a woman who lost her teenage son, while “War’s End” describes a couple struggling to live a normal life, despite their unique quirks and social ineptitudes. Whether he is showing readers how a teenage boy struggles to balance his feelings and his life after his mother’s suicide or telling the story of a teacher’s death through the eyes of an eleven year old boy, Haslett demonstrates the importance of human connection and interaction, as well as showing what can happen when there is a lack of interaction.

The ending chapter, entitled “The Volunteer,” is the perfect example of the importance of human interaction, and the perfect conclusion to Haslett’s book. In this final chapter, a teenage boy – Ted – participates in a volunteer program at a local assisted-living center. Although Ted’s father and brother are mentioned several times throughout the story, Ted’s mother is only mentioned twice, the first in a seemingly-irrelevant manner. However, this subtle omission becomes extremely significant after reading the final sentence of the chapter, when readers learn the truth about Ted’s mother. After the truth is known, it is obvious to readers that Ted’s interactions with Elizabeth resemble those of a mother and her son. Haslett is able to show the similarities between the two relationships, while still allowing readers to figure out the truth for themselves.

Overall, this was an extremely well-written book, full of surprising twists, all leading up to the final, ultimate revelation; “At last, she feels the warmth of her son’s tears in the palms of her hands” (237). With this simple sentence, Haslett wraps up the struggles of the characters from every chapter in his book, while still leaving readers with more questions than answers.
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