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Love In A Headscarf

3.59 of 5 stars 3.59 · rating details · 524 ratings · 131 reviews

'At the age of thirteen, I knew that I was destined to marry John Travolta. One day he would arrive on my North London doorstep, fall madly in love with me and ask me to marry him. Then he would convert to Islam and become a devoted Muslim.' Shelina is keeping a very surprising secret under her headscarf - she wants to fall in love and find her faith. Torn between the Buxo...more

Paperback, 267 pages

Published by Aurum Press (first published 2009)

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Apr 13, 2013 theinspirationtree rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

Read my full review of Love In A Headscarf at theinspirationtree.wordpress.com

Reading about Shelina’s life was a very pleasant experience. She began her book by envisaging that she is telling us her story over a cup of coffee and, while reading, I actually felt like I was sitting with her in such a place, listening to her relate her story. I laughed at all the right places, shook my head sadly when things got a little depressing, brooded thoughtfully over her reasoning and rejoiced when she fin...more Read my full review of Love In A Headscarf at theinspirationtree.wordpress.com

Reading about Shelina’s life was a very pleasant experience. She began her book by envisaging that she is telling us her story over a cup of coffee and, while reading, I actually felt like I was sitting with her in such a place, listening to her relate her story. I laughed at all the right places, shook my head sadly when things got a little depressing, brooded thoughtfully over her reasoning and rejoiced when she finally met her ‘One’.

What made this book even more enjoyable was that was that the author and I share a similar upbringing and cultural and religious experiences. I was even able to cringe when reading about her first introduction because it bought up memories of my first introduction, buried deep between memories of Horrible Hairstyles and First Days Of School. As for her Six Stages Of Self Pity, I was shocked at how accurate they were; my friends and I can list them off by heart!

Shelina’s deep insight into her life and faith encouraged me to probe deeper into my own character and appropriately question my ideals as a British, Muslim woman within the confines of culture. My respect for the author increased chapter by chapter; we all know that it takes courage to stand up for what you believe in against what society wants you to believe. This theme even extends back to the time of great Romantic authors such as Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau.

At the end, I came to the conclusion that I have a lot to learn about myself and about my religion, but nevertheless, I am optimistic about setting off on my own spiritual journey. After I’m done with discovering the world and it’s hidden secrets, maybe then I can write a book about my experiences too!

Overall I was very pleased with the book, although at times, in particular when the discussion revolved around history or philosophy, my attentiveness to what was being said burned out somewhat. I was more interested in reading on and discovering how this analysis related to her life experiences (and when I did so, I was not disappointed). Personally, I believe that I have a lot to experience and learn before I can understand and truly appreciate the reasoning put forward in the book.

Also, I did wish that the author revealed more about the ‘One’ when he finally made it into the story. Having read about all the terrible situations she was put in with Syed (Mr. Cricket Lover), Mobeen (Mr. Practical Joker) and Khalil (just Khalil-I can’t even place a description for that guy), I was justifiably eager for more details about Mr. One. I just felt like it was over so quickly, but since it was a (very) happy ending, it was still worth it.(less)

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Jan 10, 2013 Arabian Rihanna rated it 1 of 5 stars

This is a memoir of a British Indian Muslim woman looking for a husband.

The book started with a very juvenile style. The author's Islamic reasoning was a little too simplistic — like that of a teenager. I actually thought the book was excerpts from Shelina's diary when she was 19.

The book lacks a clear time-frame. All I know is that it started when Shelina was a college student, it mentioned half-way through the book that the internet was still new, and it was published in 2009.
Also, I only know...more

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Mar 10, 2011 Kristine rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: first-reads, true-life-stories, religion-and-or-lds, modern-lit, love-story, i-own

Shelina is a thoroughly modern Muslim - a British Indian Muslim. Her ancestors were from India and converted to Islam and moved to Tanzania. When Tanzania was granted independence from Britain, Shelina's father chose to take the offer as a British citizen to move to England. Moving into that environment has caused her family to closely examine which Muslim practices are/were part of their culture, and which were actually a part of Islam. This was the second book I've ever read about Muslim women...more Shelina is a thoroughly modern Muslim - a British Indian Muslim. Her ancestors were from India and converted to Islam and moved to Tanzania. When Tanzania was granted independence from Britain, Shelina's father chose to take the offer as a British citizen to move to England. Moving into that environment has caused her family to closely examine which Muslim practices are/were part of their culture, and which were actually a part of Islam. This was the second book I've ever read about Muslim women, the first being Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia, which could not be more DIFFERENT in portrayal of the life of a Muslim woman. I think this, more than anything, solidified my knowledge that Islam is quite wonderful, and all of the ugly atrocities in Muslim nations come from awful cultural traditions than anything the Qu'ran has ever said.

Shelina wrote this book about how as a modern Muslim woman, she chose the traditional path of an arranged marriage. When I read the book blurb I thought it would be more crazy tales along the lines of "hijinx ensue, lol". While she did include quite a bit of descriptions in first person voice of her experiences which were funny, much of the rest of the writing was expository. Not in a bad way - I sure do not know a lot about the Muslim faith (I know a little) and I appreciated the explanations. It seemed like those were the driest parts of the book, though.

What I do know about the Muslim faith was reaffirmed. It is a loving, peaceful, family-based religion. They adhere to a high standard of strict moral conduct: no drinking, immorality, immodesty, etc. The sanctity of motherhood and children is tantamount and life and society should be built around the traditional family unit. Listening to Shelina describe her standards, you could almost see her living in SLC and being mistaken for a Mormon (although the headscarf would be a dead giveaway). In fact there were so many similarities I was only left to one conclusion: whether you are an American Mormon or a British Muslim, we are all children of the same loving God - whether you call him Allah or Heavenly Father, he has the same standards and laws and loves us all the same. There were times when the similarities were quite striking. When Shelina went on her Hajj - her pilgramage to their sacred Kabaa in Mecca (which they call the house of their God) they all dress in white to remove materialism and individuality - so they all stand before Allah as equal spirits. They then perform symbolic rituals. Hmmmm.

There was part of the book she spoke about her spiritual journey. From blind obedience, to actively choosing conversion, to following the letter of the law, to following the spirit of the law, after that there was a little journey into mysticism. I started feeling a little nervous about that part . . . our LDS (Mormon) religion discourages delving into the mysteries of God (as, most assuredly, there is much our human comprehension is not up to the task) and stick to what we have been given as the path back to our Heavenly Father (that after all the good works we can do we still stand sinful and must accept the Savior as our mediator through Grace to gain admittance into Heaven). But the more I thought about it the more I saw the similarities of her journey with ours. In our religion after living the spirit of the law we are most assuredly encouraged to continue on our spiritual journey - one of stiriving to be more like the Savior and to literally develop a personal relationship with Him. This is a deeply personal and intimate spiritual journey that I could equate to that stage in her life. Where she discovered LOVE. God is LOVE. This is a beautiful story of discovery - both self discovery and spiritual discovery.

I wanted to end my review with an explanation of my four+star rating. Is the writing such that it's artistic and destined to be a classic in the auto-biographical genre? No. Lively and beautiful at times? yes. Dry and a little slow sometimes? yes. But there was one part of the book where she described her grandmother - her angel grandmother. Her grandmother who married a man of her loving father's choosing, who raised 10 faithful children of her own, and who rises every morning at 3 am for her daily prayer with Allah. I felt this woman's spirituality, her closeness to God. I envied it. What a beautiful example. This woman was geographically, religiously, and generationally apart from me and has inspired me to be a better woman. A better Mormon. A better Daughter of God. And to be inspired in such a manner - well, was rather shocking for me :-) in a good way!

p.s. I think Shelina and I were spirit sisters separated at birth! I call myself a feminist Mormon housewife (in every positive connotation of the word) and well, I think we may have been cut from the same cloth. A highly educated, faithful woman who defies cultural traditions to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and become one of the most influential Muslim women in British society? You go, girl! :-) (less)

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Jan 31, 2013 Zaynäb tyty Quadri rated it 5 of 5 stars

this book took me on a journey, i would never have experienced anywhere else, it spoke out my unspeakable troubles, calmed my frayed nerves and most importantly it led me on a journey to find the one, the great one, Almighty Allah.

i love this book a lot. thanks to my friend bilkis begum for recommending it to me. xx

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May 25, 2013 Ebthal rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013

كتاب جيد ربما يفيد الغير مسلمات أكثر
فلقد كانت قرائته نوع من التذكير لما نعاني منه أو يحدث لنا كفتيات عربيات أو مسلمات.

كتاب ذو عنوان لطيف وإن كنت أفضل اعنوان الانجليزي له
love in a headscarf
و غلاف أنيق ذو ألوان رقيقة

في البداية ظننته كتاب فكاهي أو ساخر من نوعية (عايزة أتجوز) ولكن النسخة الانجليزية,
ولكني فوجئت به كتاب يتحدث عن الزواج في الإسلام كما هو مكتوب علي الغلاف مصحوبا ببعض المواقف الشخصية

تحدث الكتاب عن شروط فارس الأحلام التي تضعها معظم الفتيات,
وعلاقتيّ الحب والزواج من منظور إسلامي مخلوطاً بم...more

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Feb 26, 2013 SISTERS Magazine rated it 5 of 5 stars

Love in a Headscarf is highly readable. In this personal memoir, Shelina, a British-Asian Muslim woman, shares the secret of how in her teenage fantasy, she had set her standards so as to fall in love with the man she would marry. Considering her Asian background and culture, this seems impossible. Having tried the recommendations of the “Buxom Aunties” and some close family members, but still without a suitor to match the earlier standards she had set, Shelina decides to follow a Muslim-style a...more

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Jun 27, 2012 Lisa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: literary-memoir, religion, islam

My response to Shelina Zahra Janmohamed's memoir Love in a Headscarf, which chronicles ten years of searching for a spouse through a traditional South Asian arranged marriage process in North London, is one of tough love.

Janmohamed is a self-identified "British East-African Asian Muslim," as well as a graduate of Oxford. In other words, she is part of a generation of cultural "pioneers" who have had to invent a way to maintain their immigrant parents' culture and Muslim faith within the context...more My response to Shelina Zahra Janmohamed's memoir Love in a Headscarf, which chronicles ten years of searching for a spouse through a traditional South Asian arranged marriage process in North London, is one of tough love.

Janmohamed is a self-identified "British East-African Asian Muslim," as well as a graduate of Oxford. In other words, she is part of a generation of cultural "pioneers" who have had to invent a way to maintain their immigrant parents' culture and Muslim faith within the context of the predominately Christian, Anglo-Saxon UK. Because of this historically unique situation, Janmohamed's search for a partner is complicated by multiple sets of cultural expectations about gender roles and romantic love.

Janmohamed is obviously intelligent, funny, and perceptive, with loads of personal integrity and inner strength--but unfortunately, her writing here is poorly edited. Each individual sentence is delightfully clear and thoughtful, but as a whole, the book is repetitive and lacks structure, pacing, direction, and cohesion, becoming a litany of bad date stories that alternate with increasingly repetitive reflections on love and faith. Reading Love In A Headscarf, It's hard to believe that Beacon Press is the same publishing company that put out Eboo Patel's powerful and astonishingly well-written Muslim memoir Acts of Faith. Better editing could have made this book a much stronger narrative. While it's possible that Janmohamed's writing style reflects British or South Asian conventions of story-telling that I'm unfamiliar with, my money is on poor editing combined with the influence of Janmohamed's blogging experience on her approach to writing a longer narrative.

That said, I don't think people should have to be Shakespeare to tell their stories, and I appreciated reading about Janmohamed's experiences. In some ways she comes across as a modern, Muslim Elizabeth Bennett, due to her understated and witty resistance to sexism in a courtship process that favors men over women. Frustrated by how sexist South Asian cultural traditions have obscured the actual values of sexual equality in Islam, Janmohamed cleverly uses scripture and hadith to refute sexism expressed by the "Aunties" who control the courtship process. Janmohamed also wrestles with the religious expectations of her suitors--because she wears hijab, half of her suitors see her as being too religious, while the other half expect her to be more subservient than she is.

In conclusion, I enjoyed learning about Janmohamed's personality and her experiences as a young Muslimah looking for love, in spite of the fact that the overall writing wasn't outstanding. I think this would be an excellent book for any group of open-minded religious teenagers to read and discuss. And--although it almost goes without saying--if you like this book, you would surely like the wonderful Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.(less)

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Jun 29, 2011 Amira Jammy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Love in a headscarf an autobiography by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed of her life in search of Mr. Right in the UK, her endless meeting with suitor, and learning about herself on the way. It’s amazing that we all come from different ethnic backgrounds but have similar thoughts on religion, marriage and living the life in the west. Does creating criteria for significant other really important, we know who we want but is it fair to create unrealistic expectation of how the person should or should not l...more

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May 08, 2011 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was recommended by owners of independent bookstores. I've been searching for it at the library for months, with no luck - finally bought the paperback and am so glad I did!

While a large portion of the book is about what it is like to be involved in seeking a husband for an arranged marriage (which was fascinating and had some very funny stories of her experiences), it also describes very eloquently her commitment to the Muslim faith. Raised by a loving, affirming family, who fully supp...more

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Jan 20, 2011 Catherine rated it 3 of 5 stars

I enjoyed, learned from, and empathized with her search for a husband and desire to serve God. An absolutely fascinating and well-told story. I admire her parents immensely.
However, her airbrushing of the Koran left a bad taste in my mouth, so I can't say I LOVED her book. She also makes much of Muslim terrorist groups' ideology being so very different from true Islam, as she understands it. Yet the Koran sanctions killing apostates from Islam (I just looked it up and found it in the Koran onli...more

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Dec 16, 2010 Cameling rated it 3 of 5 stars

Arranged marriages or match-made marriages are not quite as black and white as they used to be. These days, arranged marriages come with some flexibility that allows for both the boy and the girl looking for a life partner, to spend a little bit of time trying to get to know one another, and with both parties able to choice to decline any further communication with the other.

In this book, Shelina outlines her reasons for wanting an arranged marriages, and gives examples of the men who were intro...more

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Dec 05, 2010 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

My motivation to read “Love in a Headscarf” was pure curiosity. I tend to judge people as individuals rather than as part of a group and really had no prior knowledge of Islam before 9/11. Since that terrible day a lot of (mostly negative) statements have been made about Muslim belief and it seemed appropriate to listen to the voice of someone who actually lives that life.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The author’s sense of humor in finding a husband created a story that entertained while also...more

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Oct 26, 2012 Mostafa سليمان rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

النسخة الانجليزية من كتاب عايزه أتجوز

اينعم هو الاسم تجاري
علشان الناس تربط بينه وبين
عايزة أتجوز
ودا شئ غريب
بس ماشي

انا مش هعرف أقيمه لسبب بسيط
الكتاب بالنسبة ليا
غير موجه للعرب
هو موجه بشكل كبير للغرب
الكتاب عن فتاة انجليزية من اصول آسيويه ومسلمة
بتحكي عن قصصها عن العرسان اللي اتقدموها ليها عن طريق الخاطبة
وجواز الصالونات
ايون ف انجلترا
اه فيه خاطبة
الفرق كبير بالنسبة ليا
بينه وبين عايزه أتجوز يمكن للاختلاف الشخصيات
وطريقة التفكير

هناك مفيش قولبة زي هنا
هناك اه بيعمولها زي علبة التونة
بس مش زي هنا خالص
فيه ضغط ب...more

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Feb 24, 2010 Rahmadiyanti rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: woman, memoar

Gue bangeeeddd! :D
Bener-bener suara hati perempuan lajang ;). Lepas dari kultur dan background Shelina yang agak berbeda dengan saya, tapi suara hatinya adalah suara hati lajang di mana pun. Pengalamannya jatuh bangun mencari "the right one" sangat inspiring. Shelina sangat jujur dengan dirinya. Beberapa pengalamannya mirip dengan saya (jeilee, ngaku-ngaku).

Penuturannya cerdas dan kocak di beberapa bagian. Meski deskripsinya agak terlalu panjang, tapi saya sangat menikmati, karena kalimat-kalim...more

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Feb 07, 2013 Aisha rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: chick-lit, enlightening, inspiring

a 4.5 to 5 stars.
The negative bits first- I found some parts to be a bit draggy, a bit long. Those places were a tad dull, and I jump-read altogether about ummm... 8 pages, maximum? yeah.
But about the rest, it was NICE! Halfway through, I forgot about the 'headscarf' part because it was Eggzacktly what goes on in half the families in Sri Lanka- the Auntie-Network, how everybody knows or is related (father's brother-in-law's daughter's cousin's child)to somebody, somehow, and of the whole 'throwi...more a 4.5 to 5 stars.
The negative bits first- I found some parts to be a bit draggy, a bit long. Those places were a tad dull, and I jump-read altogether about ummm... 8 pages, maximum? yeah.
But about the rest, it was NICE! Halfway through, I forgot about the 'headscarf' part because it was Eggzacktly what goes on in half the families in Sri Lanka- the Auntie-Network, how everybody knows or is related (father's brother-in-law's daughter's cousin's child)to somebody, somehow, and of the whole 'throwing people together for arranged marriage' process; it was hilarious:) I think it would have been more so for me, as I can visualize everything in it.
However, I dont know of any person who is as materialistically and spiritually content and happy as Shelina, the protagonist. The way she ties her multi-cultural backgrounds together, along with her spiritual beliefs as well as culture intermingled with modernity, is inspiring, because she found and is proud of HERSELF. She accepts and develops all aspects of herself, with the aim of being happy and fulfilled. I also found it interesting how she didnt follow anything just because it was decreed by culture and tradition- she studied, practiced and knew why she was doing/ following/ believing rituals in her faith. She wasnt like "I'm praying because it's a habit... im wearing a headscarf because my community does it... blah blah," she was doing it because she knew WHY and it was a conscious choice.
Besides all this, she was also very very relatable, except for minor deviations. :P she wasnt a typical, stereotyped Muslim, she was highly educated, had a job, travelled the world, wholly romantic, and through all her independence, was super conscious that her family and community were integral parts of her existence; and for however much you may claim that you're 'independent' and 'free', you actually arent as you need each other, and needed to 'love' each other.
--it was a bit too man-hunt-y for me, before I remembered the title was 'Love in a Headscarf' and it was about a woman trying to find 'The One' :p
(less)

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Jun 23, 2012 Rola rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobiography

at the end it shows that it's your destiny , so don't worry or rush into things you don't belong to because Allah will send your soulmate at the perfect time

"Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a wonderful inspiration to me during
this time. She was mentioned with great reverence in Islamic traditions
and was considered to be one of the “women of paradise.” Even a
chapter in the Qur’an was named after her. Mary’s father had
desperately wanted a child and prayed to God that if he was blessed
with one, he...more

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Jan 14, 2012 Khaya rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: shidduch daters

Recommended to Khaya by: rivka

Shelves: memoirs, islamicwomen

It was fun to read this Muslim woman's memoir and marvel about the similarities between her dating experiences and the courtship system in my culture. The parallels were striking, even in small ways. The involvement of the entire family, the priorities, the traditional values, the power of the "aunties" (middle-aged women who may or may not be relatives and may or may not be nice people) who serve as the gatekeepers between the seeking woman and possible guys and must be humored at all costs, an...more

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Feb 22, 2013 Aliza rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: muslim-culture

if i ever wrote a book, i would want it to be like this one. i could relate to it on so many levels and shelina's thoughts have been my thoughts before. her analysis of terrorism, her understanding of south asian culture and its double standards, her perception of islam, all of it was a fresh change from their cliched representation.
and yet, after reading her you realize how correctly she has broken them down for all the world to see them for what they really are. you finally recognize the ring...more

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Oct 09, 2012 Felita rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: romance, islam, young-adult

Membaca buku ini memperkenalkanku ttg dunia perjodohan muslim.

Shelina siap memasuki bursa perjodohan semenjak usia 19 tahun. Perempuan muslim keturunan India yang tinggal di London ini berangan-angan mencari sang pangeran tampan versi islam. Tak ayal daftar pertama kriteria calon suaminya dimulai dari tampan (ini sih, semua wanita jg mau hehehe)

Uniknya, perjodohan ini diatur dalam komunitas tempat shelina tinggal, yg dirancang oleh para bibi.para bibi selalu gemuk dan berdada besar, dengan aksen...more

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Nov 28, 2012 Shaimaa Ali rated it 4 of 5 stars

اولا احب ان اسجل اعتراضى الشديد على عنوان الكتاب عند ترجمته الى العربية (اريد عريس) .. هذا الكتاب لا يشابه كتاب غادة عبد العال وان تماثل الموضوع .. ولا ادرى ما المشكلة فى ترجمته بالانجليزية (الحب من خلال الحجاب) .. الا اذا كان لدى الناشر مشكلة مع الحجاب مثلاً !

احببت الكتاب كثيراً ، الشخصية المثقفة واسعة الذكاء والاهتمامات : شيلينا هى مثال للكثير من الفتيات المصريات الان ، وبعكس الجو المصرى الخاص بنا (البكاء على اللبن المسكوب او اضاعة العمر فى الاكتئاب) تواجه شيلينا موقفها بشجاعة وبالكثير من الاي...more اولا احب ان اسجل اعتراضى الشديد على عنوان الكتاب عند ترجمته الى العربية (اريد عريس) .. هذا الكتاب لا يشابه كتاب غادة عبد العال وان تماثل الموضوع .. ولا ادرى ما المشكلة فى ترجمته بالانجليزية (الحب من خلال الحجاب) .. الا اذا كان لدى الناشر مشكلة مع الحجاب مثلاً !

احببت الكتاب كثيراً ، الشخصية المثقفة واسعة الذكاء والاهتمامات : شيلينا هى مثال للكثير من الفتيات المصريات الان ، وبعكس الجو المصرى الخاص بنا (البكاء على اللبن المسكوب او اضاعة العمر فى الاكتئاب) تواجه شيلينا موقفها بشجاعة وبالكثير من الايمان ،، ربما لو قرات كتابها فى فترة كان الاكتئاب يغمرنى لظننتها فقط متفائلة اكثر من اللازم ،، الان بعد ان استعدت اتزانى النفسى وبمواجهتى الامر مسلحة بايمانى واقترابى كثيراً من خالقى استطعت ان اصل لنفس مفهومها وتقبلها للامر الواقع ..
ربما يكون هذا الكتاب صيحة تواصل وانسجام بين فتيات يشتركن فى نفس المشكلة الكونية وان اختلفت زاوية رؤيتهن للامور بحسب بلد المنشا .. هناك فتاة اخرى فى بقعةٍ ما من هذا العالم الواسع تشترك معي فى هذه المشكلة .. وبدلاً من موضوعات: احبى نفسك وكونى دائماً متالقة وما الى هذا ستسحرك شيلينا بتواصلها مع الخالق فى رحلة صوفية صغيرة فى الفصول النهائية من الكتاب ..

انصح به لفتيات اقل سناً ايضاً فبالتاكيد ثراء تجربتها اضافة جيدة للكثيرات ..(less)

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Dec 30, 2010 Medeia Sharif rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2010

I won this through a Goodreads giveaway and was pleased to receive it since I had my eye on it after seeing it in a bookstore. This memoir does an excellent job of tearing down misconceptions about Muslim women. The author is modern, intelligent, outspoken, and spiritual—there is nothing repressed about her. The main gist is that Shelina is on the lookout for a husband who will not compromise her comfort or religious beliefs. It was interesting to read about how she and her family set up meeting...more

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Jan 08, 2012 Rivqah rated it 4 of 5 stars

It was a real test of endurance to read the first half of this book. However, with the second half it improved tremendously. I loved it when Shelina climbed Kilimanjaro because it was something which, according to her Aunt, was something that "nice girls just don't do!" Bravo! Good for her. And she is correct when she states that we need to follow our spiritual inclinations when they clash with societal conventions, i.e. "the way it's always been done." At least we need to ask ourselves "Why has...more

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Jan 31, 2013 Kimberly rated it 2 of 5 stars

I started out really liking the author and appreciated the explanation of Asian-Muslim dating traditions. I did have a hard time understanding what her point was some of the time, it seemed like a lot of ramblings or diary entries, some that go very in depth with explanation and others that seem to lack any explanation. After 240 pages of what was mostly whining about the lack of quality men out there and how nobody was good enough for her and maybe she should just settle I started to find her i...more

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Sep 16, 2012 Alisa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle-books, travel, non-fiction

Not the book it started out to be - nor the book I expected. Instead of a light, frothy girly book, it turned out to be a deep meditation on the differences between divine and human love, and how the search for the latter is really only a longing for the first. Oddly enough, my pastor just preached on that very subject; it's interesting to hear the Muslim slant on that truth. Her writings on Islam are very airbrushed, however; I've read, with my own eyes, passages in the Koran that strongly cont...more

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May 27, 2012 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars

(This review is also published on my blog: http://amuslimahwrites.wordpress.com/...

So here, in my own words, is the underlying premise of Love in a Headscarf: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single, practicing, devout Muslim woman in possession of intelligence, wit, and beauty must be in want of a husband who has the same qualities. As well as romance. Lots of romance.

The novel is an account of the author's search for "the One" through highly structured and family and community-or...more (This review is also published on my blog: http://amuslimahwrites.wordpress.com/...

So here, in my own words, is the underlying premise of Love in a Headscarf: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single, practicing, devout Muslim woman in possession of intelligence, wit, and beauty must be in want of a husband who has the same qualities. As well as romance. Lots of romance.

The novel is an account of the author's search for "the One" through highly structured and family and community-oriented means. She also dwells a great deal on how her faith shaped her search for a partner, alongside more general discussions about Islam and being Muslim in the west.

One Amazon reviewer called the book "interesting, but not uplifting." Their review is a good way to pave way into my experience of reading the book:

For those single Muslim men and women who are enduring the struggle to find mates or are preparing to embark on that journey, [this book] is not helpful and is even rather despairing at times, although that was clearly not intended by the author. The unwounded in the modern Muslim marriage plight may miss that negative tenor, but the potential emotional drag for those with real-life experience in this arena may be enough to recommend passing over this book.

So true. For the most part, this book was depressing. While I enjoyed seeing how the author's experiences with meeting prospects mirrored mine (having to suffer through men who are inexcusably non-punctual, who hate books and those who read them, who show up simply because their parents forced them into it, who are fixated on matters of height even if it comes down to a few inches, etc.) they simply reinforced my frustrations about the deeply flawed assumptions that have crept into cultural practices surrounding marriage and courtship (or lack thereof) in the Muslim South Asian diaspora. Janmohamed does question some of these assumptions, but not at all in a way that I found satisfying or particularly illuminating.

I did like reading about how the author braved "the instruments of social compliance" designed to keep women in line by doing things like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and buying a racing car. I appreciate the idea of her wanting to be the change she wanted to see. Another really interesting point she brings up is how, in the final stages of the husband hunt, she learns to see men not just as potential suitors, but just as who they are. "Each person," she writes, "was a delicious moment to be savoured with respect for their humanity." This healthy attitude is a wonderful way to grow and learn through what can often be a dreary, heartbreaking process of finding a spouse.

However, for a story that is so centred on finding deep, enduring, romantic love, I feel that the book is strangely devoid of it. On the occasions the author feels a deep attraction to a prospective spouse, the rapport between them comes off as fleeting and superficial. The result being: even when she met someone who seemed promising, I couldn't be less indifferent about what the outcome would be. There are worthy points made about "capital 'L' love," and seeking to be closer to the divine. While they were important and noteworthy, they weren't particularly memorable for me. (This Altmuslimah review, however, is more appreciative of this aspect of the book.)

I also think the book had tangents into discussions about Islam and womanhood that seemed a bit elementary and intended for non-Muslim audiences who are not familiar with Islam. I could see how it was intended to frame the author's experience of being a British Asian Muslim woman who wears the hijab, but to me they were just wearisome distractions, parts to be skimmed through just so I could get back to her story of how she finally meets her husband.

I suppose my not wholly enjoying this book largely has to do with my questioning whether the kind of marriage process that Janmohamed went through can always be equated to finding love. As much as I want to believe that parents, imams, and a vicious team of aunties have the potential to find "the one" for you, the whole point of the "one" is that there is something that grows organically with them, a process that I can't imagine naturally occurring under the watchful eyes of community elders and inordinate pressures to get married. That is why Muslim stories that are not as "by the book" as community leaders would like them to be--honest accounts such as those in Love, InshAllah or of Muslim men's experiences with finding a partner--resonate so much more with me.

I have great respect for Janmohamed's enacting of the changes that she wanted to see by challenging stereotypes about Muslim women. However, as far as the marriage process is concerned, the changes I think are needed require something much more radical, something that skirts along the edges of conventional, accepted territory. It requires more than a few raised eyebrows and ruffled feathers over what kind of a vehicle a woman drives to the mosque. The system needs more than a poke: it needs a good shake. It starts with an acceptance of the fact that love can take on an unlikely, unpredictable form that our social interactions and suitor screening processes need to make room for so that it may be easier for the single Muslim to fulfill half their deen, so to speak.

Janmohamed's story is not every Muslim woman's story, for she is fortunate enough to exercise her agency in a close-knit community she has known her whole life. It is up to each of us to seriously and honestly examine our needs, contexts and values and forge a path to our future partner that works within our systems or in opposition to it.(less)

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May 22, 2013 Loraine rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, non-fiction-challenge, romance, umw-2013

Shelina Zahra is a twenty-something, British, Asian, Muslim. She is an Oxford educated, modern young woman who is devout in her faith. She does not come from a culture that wears a Burka but because of her faith dresses modestly and wears a hijab (or headscarf covering). This book is a delightful romp through her decision to opt for the traditional "arranged" marriage route to find a life partner. Through ten long years, Shelina learns more about her faith, her own self and what she truly wants...more

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May 10, 2012 Noha rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

very nice book
but:1-(Educate yourself--- travel to China)was not said by the prophet,
,
2- in the story (Every day the Prophet(pbuh) was forced to walk along a particular street
where an old woman would throw rubbish at him because she did not
agree with the belief in one God that he was propagating. Each day he
would come home covered in foul-smelling litter. One day he walked
would come home covered in foul-smelling litter. One day he walked
along the street but there was no rubbish. Instead of bein...more

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Apr 01, 2012 Lily rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

it's Amazing journey to find love
We all need to love and be loved but we shouldn't be desperate about love or finding "the one" because Real love comes in the right time ,no need to search or freak out if it didn't show up now.i loved the book ,i think any Muslim girl can relate to it ,as the society puts pressure on the girl if she reached a certain age and didn't get married yet but the girl shouldn't surrender to such traditions or allow anyone to make her feel bad about herself if she "miss...more

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Apr 27, 2013 Adnan Nour rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was a surprise to me, it catches my eye for the title, was odd, once i started reading it, it catches my mind.
A second generation British of Indian origins, dealing with the love issue, with both heritage from her Indian origin & the Islamic regulations.
The book is funny at a times, sad at another, ironic & deep almost all over.
A hint about the 9/11 earthquake to the society of Muslims, was nice & deep.
A great tale of love & meaning of love, through the authors eyes &...more

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May 05, 2013 Safy magdy rated it 5 of 5 stars

الكتاب رائع بكل المقاييس و من الكتب اللي خلتني أفكر ف حاجات كتير اوي
لما اشتريت الكتاب كنت شارياه عشان عاوزة حاجة تبسطني و جذبني غلافه و اسمه بس كنت متخيلاه كتاب تافه شوية الكتاب بسطني لكنه مش تافه تماما
شيلينا الكاتبة مثال للمسلمة الناجحة و الواثقة في نفسها عملت حاجات كتير اوي في حياتها بدعي ربنا اني اوصلها
كتاب مهم اوي للبنات او حتى للستات المتجوزة لأنه مش بس بيتكلم عن الجواز و لكنه بيتكلم عن ازاي البنت تكون قوية و ناجحة و جريئة و بيبين غباء و سلبية المجتمع و التقاليد اللي احنا للأسف فاكرينها...more

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About Shelina Zahra Janmohamed

Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is the author of "Love in a Headscarf", a humorous and irreverent memoir about growing up as a Muslim woman. She writes regularly for EMEL magazine, a leading glossy Muslim lifestyle magazine. She also writes for the Times Online, the National (based in the UAE) and has written for the Guardian and Comment is Free.

She has her own award-winning blog which is now four years...more

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“Don’t just hope it happens you have to make it happen” — 23 people liked it

“You have to know where you’ve come from to know where you are going” — 14 people liked it

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