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I Drink for a Reason

3.25 of 5 stars 3.25 · rating details · 3,919 ratings · 425 reviews

After a decade spent in isolation in the Ugandan jungles thinking about stuff, David Cross has written his first book. Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on Arrested Development and the role of "David" in Mr. Show With Bob And David, as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved ou...more

Hardcover, 236 pages

Published August 31st 2009 by Grand Central Publishing

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Dec 16, 2009 Joshua Nomen-Mutatio rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: essays, satirical-fare-or-just-funny

Let him get out of his analrapist pants and into his acting skirt.

This was great. Just like Stephen Colbert's book (I Am America And So Can You) this was perfect for listening to the audio book version. I'd read through bits and pieces of the analogue version with the pages and the ink and the words and whatnot, while at a friend's house and enjoyed it, but hearing Cross's voice and delivery just made it even better.

It begins with another great comedian, Jon Benjamin, reading the intro for a fe...more

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Mar 21, 2013 Rachel rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

David Cross seems to hate everything. And he's angry. He's angry at me for not hating the same things he does. The only thing he seems to like is, of all things, a weird hipster band-thing called "The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players." I've also seen this band, and I hated the experience. Strongly. A David Cross amount of hate. I'd like to argue with David Cross about this band, but I'm worried he'd then start hating me enough to misspell my name repeatedly, like "Whoopie" Goldberg, "Anne"...more

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Jul 17, 2011 Dan rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: audio-book, read-in-2011

Another light listen for a long car ride. This book was like listening to a very long set of standup by David Cross and as you would imagine any 6 hour standup set it would have its hits and misses. It did have just enough hits to keep me entertained and engaged during the journey.

Throughout the audiobook Cross repeats his disgust for people having bought the audiobook a number of times, which is ok. It's just that it stops being funny after the first or second time and it isn't until about 5 h...more

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Jun 08, 2011 Kyle rated it 3 of 5 stars

David Cross is a brilliant comedian, in that there is no doubt. Mr. Show and David Cross's earlier stand-up is some of the most subversive and modern stuff ever put on TV. Lately though, I feel that he's gone past the edge of "angry but still sharing the joke with humanity" to "extremely bitter with a fuck-everyone-especially-YOU" attitude, and it's not as fun, or as funny. To a degree I can understand how you could get like this, as I myself am a fairly cynical (trying to be skeptical-realist,...more

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Oct 04, 2010 Mac rated it 1 of 5 stars

A book that exemplifies the reason that most, if not all, stand-up comedians should not be offered book deals. They just shouldn’t.

I didn’t like this book, not even a little, but I should begin that with the caveat that I am, actually, a David Cross fan. Mr. Show is undeniably great, his 2002 album “Shut Up You Fucking Baby” remains one of my favorite stand-up albums, and though I liked them plenty less, I purchased the subsequent two and listened to them more than once on long car trips, usual...more A book that exemplifies the reason that most, if not all, stand-up comedians should not be offered book deals. They just shouldn’t.

I didn’t like this book, not even a little, but I should begin that with the caveat that I am, actually, a David Cross fan. Mr. Show is undeniably great, his 2002 album “Shut Up You Fucking Baby” remains one of my favorite stand-up albums, and though I liked them plenty less, I purchased the subsequent two and listened to them more than once on long car trips, usually across the desert. However, there is a moment on SUYFB that I don’t like (even though the refrain “answer your telephone!” still rattles around my head when a phone rings – you might know what I mean if you’ve heard it), and that’s the story he tells about getting drunk/high with some band I don’t care about, that he prefaces with “this isn’t another ‘I was so drunk’ story,” and then proceeds to tell a very average “I was so drunk” story. Unlike the rest of the album, which has a nice angry tone and attacks people who deserve to be attacked (and this in 2002!), this bit seems there only to make Mr. Cross seem cool. And by that I mean cool to, you know, skateboarding eighth-graders.

This book, then, is pretty much an extended version of that joke, a series of stories and sketches that are there only to… I’m not sure why they’re here. It’s far, far harder to get a laugh from a person sitting alone with a book than it is in a club full of drunk people, so he’s set the laugh-bar much higher for himself than onstage, and of course can’t clear it. (For a similar falling-on-one’s-face book, see Jon Stewart’s also not-funny but far less irritating “Naked Pictures of Famous People.”) Perhaps this is me participating in the “backlash” he references in one of the later essays (are they even that? Some of this stuff just seems to be email he’s culling from a cluttered inbox), getting mad at him for appearing in kids’ movies and other junk for an easy paycheck. But I don’t begrudge him that – I don’t begrudge anyone that. Shit, I’ve made it pretty clear to folks I know that for six million dollars, I’ll humiliate myself in almost any way. The guy needs to get paid, and that’s fine with me. My problem, I’d argue, is with the content of this book. It’s not funny, it’s just hipster self-aggrandizement, and I can get enough of that from the glares of kids at coffee shops.

The fact of it is, this book is just lazy. He can call out Larry the Cable Guy for his lazy jokes (and he’s right about it), but he’s working no harder by publishing a book that is maybe 60% old content. And, if I couldn’t find an easier way to sum up what’s wrong with this thing, I’ll point out that some of the reprinted stuff is from Vice magazine. Enough said. The original content (i.e., content written ostensibly for this book) is not much better. Mr. Cross can’t decide if he’s going to go “deep” and plumb the socio-political depths with some real thought (he doesn’t), or if he’s just going to lambast those awful people who have only one good one-night-stand story. Poor Mr. Cross, if only everyone was as smart and interesting as him.

So, if you want an aging hipster who can’t grow up to lecture you about how cool he is and how you don’t do enough drugs, by all means read the book. This review may be a bit excessive, I admit, but it’s hard to read something where the author basically makes fun of you the whole time and then not have something to say about it. I’ll add one last thing, too: I once saw Mr. Cross walking in downtown Chicago, peering at street signs, clearly lost. My wife pointed him out, and we both decided that no, we were not going to help him. Because he seems like a jerk. This book, cover to cover, reassures me that I was completely right. Think about it, David – people are consciously letting you wander aimlessly in an unfamiliar city without helping you. You might want to calm down.
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Feb 12, 2010 Patrick Gibson rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: humorous

I just read through some of the Goodreads member comments on this book. Geesh guys, lighten up. I will grant you David Cross(es) the line between angry and sarcastic a few times but over all there is some very funny stuff here.

Cross opens with some thoughts on a "Don't Abandon Your Baby" sticker on the back of an LAPD car, like "What kind of person needs to be told or reminding that they shouldn't abandon their child? After mulling the topic over, he comes up with a suggested longer and presumab...more

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Feb 03, 2010 Colin rated it 3 of 5 stars

David Cross, evidently, is a comedian who has only two names. Not three. That shouldn't stop you from reading this book.

Nevertheless, Cross is a very funny guy. I have been a fan for a while (so that obviously gives me credibility.) I have enjoyed his standup, movies, and TV appearances. In fact, I wish Cross, Todd Barry, and Jon Benjamin would bring back their Tinkle show. No, the show does not involve bizarre rituals. It was three talented comedians doing their thang in the Lower East Side. He...more

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Jan 08, 2010 Joseph rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

I Drink for a Reason is a poorly edited collection of unfocused ramblings and unfunny rants that serves mainly to highlight just how far the once brilliant David Cross has fallen lately. The comedian has always rode a fine line between righteous indignation and off-putting anger, but even for Cross this is a new low of smug superiority and condescension. But the book is not only unflatteringly nasty, it's also unforgivably lazy. The whole thing feels phoned-in, from the redundant rants against J...more

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Dec 31, 2009 Greg rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Greg by: Joshua Nomen-Mutatio

Read this book. Or actually, let me amend that. LISTEN to this book. This book was a great experience, but I can imagine only marginally enjoying it had I "read" it. While it was really amusing, David Cross's delivery is what makes this worth while. In terms of listening experience I'd put it up there with I am America and so can you. In fact, I don't really understand why anyone wold EVER want to read a book by a comedian in print. Seriously. David Sedaris is funny, but after you listen to him...more

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Dec 31, 2009 RandomAnthony rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: may-make-you-laugh

I laughed to the point of physical pain at least nine times while reading David Cross’s I Drink For a Reason. Allow me to go all bullet-pointy with my review, please:

• I have never seen Mr. Show or Wonder Showzen (he was on that one, too, right?) despite some of you telling me about 4,000 times that I should. I feel guilty buying more DVD sets when I’m still on season 2 of Weeds and never finished True Blood. I have, however, seen every Arrested Development episode so I at least knew the author...more

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Sep 06, 2010 Lester rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010, lame, funny, nonfiction

A bunch of bullet points that will hopefully end up being a coherent review of this book:

--I usually don't check out stuff like this, but it's one of the most poorly edited books I've ever read. This feels so hastily hacked-up together in terms of context and format, it ends up looking AND reading like a shameless cash-in. Dudebro should have hired me as a copy editor at least.

--If you thought David Cross was patronizing in his stand-up, wait until you read this. Condescension served in heaping...more

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Dec 12, 2011 Krysten rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: dared-not-finish, nonfiction

Not worth finishing. Not even worth getting halfway through.

Comedians seem to have a stupidly hard time writing books. It's a little sad. There are some semi-funny things, there are some things that they should probably keep to themselves, there's some reference or another to internet drama that doesn't need to exist in print form, and the rest is filler.

I Drink for a Reason was no exception. It's just a strung-together bunch of very short essays about minor things. They mostly come off as mat...more

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Sep 02, 2011 William Thomas rated it 3 of 5 stars

I found out a few fun facts about David Cross in this book that made me like him even more: he's in favor of capital punishment and he thinks of the immigration problem as a real problem and not something easily fixed with a bumper sticker slogan or t-shirt from Hot Topic. He says that if you f**k a baby to death, you should die.

I needed the audiobook version of 'I Drink for a Reason', because I felt that it wouldn't have been the same just reading it on the actual page. And I feel like I made...more

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Jun 25, 2011 Pam rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor

I only really ever saw David Cross in Arrested Development before (I'm sure I saw him in other roles but wasn't familiar enough with him to recognize him yet), so I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I started reading this book. I'd heard that he was an acerbic, witty, occasionally preachy stand-up comic (aren't they all, really? preachy, I mean), and that he was very cynical. Sounded like my kind of humor.

I really enjoyed most of the book, but there were some passages that I felt like...more

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Apr 07, 2011 Patrick J. rated it 5 of 5 stars

At one point I was reading this in the doctor's office waiting room. I kept laughing out loud and everyone was looking at me awkwardly. It is ok though because I really enjoyed this book. David Cross is definitely one of my top 5 favorite comedians and he hit this out of the park. I would eventually like to hear the audio version because he reads it himself and it would be like hearing a long version of his stand up. He even included a piece from his web page that he released after it was found...more

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Jan 16, 2010 Jackie "the Librarian" rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: controversial, humor, non-fiction

Ostensibly, this a book of "American wit and humor" according to the Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data (hey, I'm a librarian, I look at that stuff), and it is. But, it's humor colored by one man's edgy, even controverisal opinions about atheism, gay rights, and American politics. He is NOT a Bill O'Reilly fan. If you are, you will not like this book.

I'll give David Crosby this, he has a definite opinion about religion and gay rights, and he's not afraid to talk about it. While I...more Ostensibly, this a book of "American wit and humor" according to the Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data (hey, I'm a librarian, I look at that stuff), and it is. But, it's humor colored by one man's edgy, even controverisal opinions about atheism, gay rights, and American politics. He is NOT a Bill O'Reilly fan. If you are, you will not like this book.

I'll give David Crosby this, he has a definite opinion about religion and gay rights, and he's not afraid to talk about it. While I'm not an atheist, I agree with him, to a large extent, so I enjoyed this book, even when it got a little over the top for me. At times, it was cruder than I can appreciate, with my delicate sensibilities. And at other times, I felt like instead of trying to make a joke, David was just honestly saying what he thinks about religion, and what it's like to be a liberal comedian in a conservative-leaning country. What I'm trying to say is, this book is NOT for everyone.

If you are conservative, religious, or are squeamish about gay sexual jokes, you are not going to appreciate this book. He is an equal opportunity offender, going after Jews (in the Ask a Rabbi! chapter) AND Mormons, in a few places. And he really hates Jim Belushi, and now, so do I. He seems a bit defensive, and you can tell he's taken a lot of flack about his views, and is using the book to defend his positions. Hey, it's HIS book, he can do that!

Okay, this is also full of silliness and humor. This is a collection of short pieces, about half of which are simply absurd imaginings things about being in a pole-sitting contest to win a truck, or what it would be like to go to a literary party, or how to play the "Mafia" game at a party. Some pieces felt a bit like filler, like the chapter on The Five People You Meet in Limbo, which was an excuse for silly lists, like The Eleven Vitamins You Will Have in Limbo (Zinc (surprise!)). Okay, they were funny lists, and I did not know that Tom's of Maine All Natural Cinnamint Toothpaste is actually a snack for some people, a snack that you will have while in Limbo, apparently.

I did NOT keep track of the number of times I laughed while reading this book. For that information, please refer to RandomAnthony's review: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

I did enjoy the book, and I recommend it with the above reservations, as a good one to check out from the library. (less)

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Oct 13, 2009 Jill rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: audiobooks

First of all, I must apologize to all the reviewers who gave this book a mediocre (or worse) review. "They don't love David Cross like *I* love David Cross" I thought, disregarding everyone who claimed to be a fan who just didn't respond to this particular effort. Now, sadly, I must join their ranks.

Referring to the audiobook: Cross continually goes off-script to berate me for being lazy, rude, insulting to him, and part of the downfall of society because I am listening to the audiobook instead...more

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Jul 10, 2011 Kate Savage rated it 3 of 5 stars

David Cross presents a collection of biting, interesting, controversial, and, of course, funny essays.

If you like David Cross, you'll probably like this book. If you're a fan of all parts of Mr. Show, even the "dud" sketches, you'll really like this book. Cross pokes fun at everyone in all manners of overt, subversive, and non-PC presentations. He confronts the fat, lazy, and unfunny popular comedy through letters to Larry the Cable Guy and descriptive memories of meetings with Jim Belushi. He w...more

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Jan 17, 2010 Brandon rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

In an attempt to get through a few more books this year, I subscribed to Audible.com. The first book I ordered was Under the Dome by Stephen King, but that thing is a ridiculous 54 hours and I've only listened through the first file that's eight hours long by itself. That particular audiobook is daunting is what I'm saying.

But David Cross' I Drink for a Reason is not at all an intimidating read/listen. The book isn't a memoir by design, but more of a sampling of the dude's comedic style. Some of...more

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Aug 06, 2012 Kerrie rated it 5 of 5 stars

From one misanthrope to another, well done, David Cross, well done.

After reading these reviews, I'm really happy that the backlash he predicted has started. Now that he has "sold out", he is too mainstream for hipsters to enjoy, thus allowing me to enjoy him that much more. If I am ever fortunate enough to see him live again, I can do so freely and without sitting next to the trust fund babies who live with their 6 roommates in a box in Allston so that they can have "street cred". Who knows? May...more

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Nov 15, 2009 Marianne added it

Um... I wouldn't recommend this to my friends. Do I find him funny? Always. Is his language or subject matter one that I can suggest? Not at all. How is that for a review? I'm about half way through it, and it's a fast read. I'm a fan of his work, and he reminds me so much of my friend Colin that I can forgive his use of certain words. Imagine a dirty version of David Sedaris. Or a less sexual version of Augustus Burroughs. Did I spell that right? Is this review lame? No stars because I just don...more Um... I wouldn't recommend this to my friends. Do I find him funny? Always. Is his language or subject matter one that I can suggest? Not at all. How is that for a review? I'm about half way through it, and it's a fast read. I'm a fan of his work, and he reminds me so much of my friend Colin that I can forgive his use of certain words. Imagine a dirty version of David Sedaris. Or a less sexual version of Augustus Burroughs. Did I spell that right? Is this review lame? No stars because I just don't feel like it.

Two weeks later:
I didn't finish the book. Since he's an atheist, I can understand and forgive a lot of his view-points, but as a Mormon myself, his criticism and bigotry of my religion became a bit tiresome. Yes, he claims his stances don't make him a bigot, but come on. It's a bit ridiculous. If what he has written is not bigotry, then what is exactly? And that's fine. He's entitled to his opinions and ideas, I just decided to not continue reading them as it was getting old. He brings up Mormons twice (at least in the sections I read) and the first time he is defending his stand-up. He mocked Mormons in a set in North California and someone wrote a bad review,, so he defends his stance. I was ok with that, I got his point, I don't agree with it, but I see where he is coming from. Like I said, I don't expect an atheist to feel differently. But then a few pages later he mocks our religion about how it was founded. I'm not going into that too much right now. His main "joke" is that we believe something so far fetched that we all have to be idiots. Well then, so would Catholics, Buddhists, Shakers and every other religion out there. There are tenets of every Faith that would make an atheist laugh. By continually picking on Mormons, I feel like he is espousing hatred. But hey, religion is one of the last groups that it's pc to make fun of.

Normally I can brush this stuff off, but combined with his foul language and rambling lists, I got bored and stopped reading. I'm glad I got his book at the library instead of buying it like I normally would have. (less)

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Jul 09, 2011 Sky rated it 2 of 5 stars

I don't know where to begin with this one. Yes, it's David Cross. I've conventionally enjoyed his humor, and the irreverent off-the-cuff tone was refreshing for a bit- then it devolved into the completely random and marginally entertaining. The laugh out loud moments had long subsided halfway through, and by the end I was questioning my taste and sense of humor. I tried reading it drunk, possibly to get the full effect, but that made seeing the words difficult. Vomit is difficult to clean off el...more

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Jul 18, 2011 Craig Williams rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was going to give this book one star, but figured that since it is, after all, David Cross, who is one of my favorite comedians, the book deserves at least two. I was really disappointed with this book though. Before I bought it, I thumbed through a friend's copy while using the bathroom (TMI? Nah!), and at the time, found it to be hilarious. I was very puzzled to find myself not laughing at all when I finally sat down to read my own copy (not on a toilet this time). Not only did I not laugh a...more

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Aug 24, 2010 H. rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: nobody

Shelves: dont-own

After reading through half of this, I put it down a couple days ago, having had a couple laughs but reaching my limit of Cross's abrasiveness and bitterness. I thought I'd come back to it but, as I've eyed the cover while walking by, my reluctance to return has increased.

I rarely do this, but I am thoroughly convinced that I Drink for a Reason isn't any more worth finishing for the reader than it seems to have been for the writer. It's a slap-dash collection of random rants and really pointless...more

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Oct 21, 2010 Alex rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Either he honestly did not give a shit about writing this book and went about meeting his required page count in the laziest possible fashion or Cross is simply a crap writer who should never attempt a collection of comedic essays again. Each individual piece is just so messy and disorganized and he keeps hitting the same targets over and over (Whoopi Goldberg? Seriously? THAT'S who you're going to call out repeatedly? I mean, throwing in anti-Whoopi asides in multiple pieces to give the impress...more

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Oct 10, 2009 Terry Heller rated it 2 of 5 stars

I love just about everything David Cross has ever done, but this book seems directionless and unfinished, as if Cross turned in a first draft. He revisits too many subjects (Catholic priests, morning zoo crew disc jockeys, Larry the Cable Guy, homeschoolers, President Bush) that he discussed at length on his stand-up albums, and several of his 'essays' are more accurately described as rebuttals to people who have criticized him in various ways over the past few years. Most importantly, his book...more

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Feb 01, 2013 Jennafer rated it 1 of 5 stars

As a fan of Arrested Development and never having heard his comedy, I thought I would give this book a shot. If you don't like David Cross's standup then don't read this book. If you have never heard his standup before-skim this book. His standup doesn't even remotely resemble his character/comedic timing on Arrested Development.
I had mixed reviews while reading this book. One being, David Cross was genius in a sense, he said the majority of what people are thinking or want to say and are too...more

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Jun 21, 2012 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars

I listened to this via audiobook on a recent road trip, hoping I Drink for a Reason would be the male comedic equivalent of Tina Fey's Bossypants. However, upon reflection I realized that what makes Fey's memoir so compelling is not her pithy delivery, but her profound insights on the gender gap and what it means to be "feminist" in the 21st century. Cross does not offer anything close to this ... though perhaps I held unfair expectations. I love his stand up and his famous portrayal of Tobias o...more

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Oct 31, 2011 Jeff rated it 2 of 5 stars

Dear Mr. Cross,
I was a huge fan of yours when you were on "Mr. Show" and again as Tobias Funke on "Arrested Development." Your book, however, was only marginally humorous (at times a stream-of-consiousness rant of indecipherable dribble) and, in general, a huge disappointment. Although you don't discriminate against one religion over another (I know because of your disclaimer as a non-practicing Jew), I didn't appreciate your verbal battery of Mormonism--this demonstrates a lack of understanding...more

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Nov 10, 2012 Garrett Zecker rated it 3 of 5 stars

David Cross is one of my favorite comedians, but his book does not entirely translate the humor and dryness of his delivery that he normally achieves through spoken word execution. The pacing of some of the better essays in here really does reflect some of my favorite pieces that he performs live, and some of it really reminds me that he tends to recycle ideas as well (poor Janet [or whatever her name is] Dunwoody makes an appearance, as does his sister, as does his response to hecklers).

I did h...more

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About David Cross

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

David Cross (born April 4, 1964) is an American comedian, writer, stand-up and actor.

Early Life

David Cross was born in Atlanta, Georgia, the son of Susi, a computer retailer. Six months later, Cross' family moved to Florida. After additional moves to New York and Connecticu...more

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Quotes from I Drink for a Reason

“Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm” — 8 people liked it

“I wonder if God cries. Or gets sad, even. Or happy. Or elated. Does he ever have a good belly laugh? Does he sense contentment? Does he feel pride or remorse? Is he stoic? We know from the Old Testament that he experiences bloodthirsty, murderous rage and fierce pride. He imbued mankind with all of these emotions, but it's hard to imagine him feeling any of these. It's almost a little embarrassing to think of him feeling jealousy. Of course he's WAY more advanced and evolved than we are. So I guess the ultimate stage of humanity is when we don't laugh or cry or experience emotion at all. God gave us laughter as a constant remind of what lesser-evolved beings humans are. Stupid humans!” — 3 people liked it

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