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Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
Almost everyone knows someone -- or at least has heard of someone -- who is a controlling person, or is involved in a controlling relationship. Or perhaps they are the ones who have controlling personalities. In Controlling People, readers gain a complete understanding of the Controller withing interpersonal controlling relationships -- from the Controller's thought proces...more
Paperback, 300 pages
Published
February 1st 2002
by Adams Media Corporation
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This book has some good ideas, but the theory that ties them together is not explained very clearly. Also, the terminology she creates for her theory is goofy and confusing. This is too bad, since the topic is an important one, and Evans does not demonize the controlling person, but talks about people who want to stop acting that way.
It's clear that the author has no background in psychology--a basic knowledge of attachment theory and ego psychology would illuminate the mentality o...more
It's clear that the author has no background in psychology--a basic knowledge of attachment theory and ego psychology would illuminate the mentality o...more
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Right from the beginning, I noticed how the Author used the word "backwards" over and over again. That is very interesting. When I was in the 2nd grade I wrote a story called "The Backwards Family." That was not a good time for me and there was abuse in our household. I think a child psychologist would see many messages in that story.
After finishing the book I learned that "control" comes in many forms. And some are not so obvious to us. They can be very s...more
After finishing the book I learned that "control" comes in many forms. And some are not so obvious to us. They can be very s...more
This book was SO helpful!
The book says that ANY time a person believes they know what you think, feel, believe, etc., without you telling them, they are pretending. Pretending (in this way) is a sign of a controlling person.
I have believed that other people can tell me what I think. What I feel. Who I am. What I believe. What I do. What I don't do. I have accepted other people's definitions of me.
Now, when I hear people make statements that are pretending to know wh...more
The book says that ANY time a person believes they know what you think, feel, believe, etc., without you telling them, they are pretending. Pretending (in this way) is a sign of a controlling person.
I have believed that other people can tell me what I think. What I feel. Who I am. What I believe. What I do. What I don't do. I have accepted other people's definitions of me.
Now, when I hear people make statements that are pretending to know wh...more
One of those self-help books that one can keep on one's own bookshelf for further reading. I only have a library copy so I will buy one so I can make notes. I'm very interested in what motivates people and the dynamics of relationships.
What the author talks about, partly, is why people are controlling in relationships and that's to do with lack of self awareness and not dealing with 'symptoms' of behaviour that produces bad results, ie., why do people behave controllingly when the o...more
What the author talks about, partly, is why people are controlling in relationships and that's to do with lack of self awareness and not dealing with 'symptoms' of behaviour that produces bad results, ie., why do people behave controllingly when the o...more
One of the most caring, helpful and generous self-help authors I have ever read. It seems Patricia Evans' aim is to truly help free people from a certain type of enslavement ( I can imagine Bob Marley singing "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds ). She stays clear and to the point and organises her book in such a way that it has the effect of leading you from darkness into light, ignorance into knowledge. Well done. Recommended.
I had to read it for one of college English classes. Personally, I was never a big fan of self-help books. So obviously, I hated the book. I failed to see the point why people would bother to read books like this one - talking about how to deal with someone who tries to control you. You know what? The best way to deal with it: tell them to #$$%$#...
NOT recommending...
NOT recommending...
I can say that this book helps to identify 'some' controlling behavior but it misses a lot of the passive/aggressive behaviors. I enjoyed the book but the concepts sort of got lost over the years for me as I learned more about passive/aggressive behavior.
Controlling people are all around us. This book is helpful in recognizing this personality and how to deal with it. We will see ourselves in the complex interaction of various personalities in this book
This book is good at describing controlling people and all the ways that they are weird and disconnected. I was looking for more answers in how to deal with controlling people.
Great book! This book has given me the missing puzzle piece in my relationships, and is really helping me improve them. I highly recommend it!
I got a lot from this book, though not exactly what I expected to. I didn't learn so much about the relationship other as I did about how and why I relate to my inner experience the way I do and how I often find myself being controlled by other people.
She had some weird terminology that possibly made it easier to explain her point of view. Not sure I liked it though.
Linda Delorme
is currently reading it
run,,run as fast as you can when you are in their presence!
Enlightening, but mostly theoretical. I kept expecting the theoretical 'introduction' to end and to start reading the more practical advice - it never happened.
Good for understanding the thinking and insanity behind controlling people but I wish she had offered more techniques for dealing with these people.
Good insights. It's nice to see these issues from a different perspective from someone who has training. However, this book helps you identify issues, but doesn't give a lot of suggestions of how to deal with it.
One of them books to go back to. A must read for people who have been made "crazy" by other people. Helps understand the mind of those sick people with the skills to make you crazy.
I am surrounded by them! COuldn't get through it, I don't thin she knows how to articulate her point. (MAybe she's used to someone telling her what it is! Hahaha!)
useful, but Evans ties a lot of things to gendered behavior/the patriarchy and doesn't talk about controlling women much.
Another great book to understand there are people who are controling and it is ok to say NO.
I just couldn't get through this...it's too "out there" for me.
Tiffonie
added it
My goodness, this book is amazing. I resisted it at first and actually put it down a couple of times because it was too...weird. BUT, after I got over my psycho-fobia of psychology/self-help books I really took to it!
The only problem now is that I see so much of life in the context of this book and it is a little frightening! It is a good read though and provides much material for contemplating the inner workings of human relationships. One of those "good for you" reads, but...more
The only problem now is that I see so much of life in the context of this book and it is a little frightening! It is a good read though and provides much material for contemplating the inner workings of human relationships. One of those "good for you" reads, but...more
Pink Taylor
marked it as to-read
Zjourney
marked it as to-read
BOBBI
is currently reading it
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