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The Shelter of Each Other
Families, the bedrock of our society and culture, are today under assault from every side. Parents, struggling under their own pressures and unmet needs, do not know how to protect their children from crime, poverty, abuse, and media violence. The pursuit of money and objects has supplanted caring and intimacy--and our stressed-out children bear the consequences.
In THE SHE
...morePaperback, 368 pages
Published
November 25th 2008
by Riverhead Trade
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That which I agree with…
I believe that Dr. Pipher has a point when she explains that therapists often do more harm than good. (p. 27 – 32) I believe that many therapists tend to over medicate or replace common sense with psychological vocabulary. I must admit that I am extremely biased when it comes to the subject of therapy.
I have no doubt that some people benefit from anti depressants and other psychological drugs. I am sure that they have their good and proper use. However...more
I believe that Dr. Pipher has a point when she explains that therapists often do more harm than good. (p. 27 – 32) I believe that many therapists tend to over medicate or replace common sense with psychological vocabulary. I must admit that I am extremely biased when it comes to the subject of therapy.
I have no doubt that some people benefit from anti depressants and other psychological drugs. I am sure that they have their good and proper use. However...more
This is a must-read for families.
Although this was written in the 90s, I think it's even more relevent today. Pipher says that in a deteriorating society, we all need to find shelter within our families. She compares her mother's family in the 1920s-30s to a family she helps in couseling in the 90s. Her mother's family had no money, but plenty of time. The 90s family had plenty of money, but no time. Her mother's family's problems were external: natural disasters, economic depress...more
Although this was written in the 90s, I think it's even more relevent today. Pipher says that in a deteriorating society, we all need to find shelter within our families. She compares her mother's family in the 1920s-30s to a family she helps in couseling in the 90s. Her mother's family had no money, but plenty of time. The 90s family had plenty of money, but no time. Her mother's family's problems were external: natural disasters, economic depress...more
I picked this up on a whim since we have it and her other book "Reviving Ophelia" in our home library. Suffice it to say everything she wrote in here resonates strongly with me. Our society and our culture have become more toxic as the years have passed. Advertisers and businesses look at people in America as "consumers" - not as people. The continuously promote and market to segments of our population that, in the past, would have been considered sensitive (i.e. children...more
Because I previously read Pipher's book Reviving Ophelia and found it to be very useful and insightful, I decided to give this book a try, and I am very glad that I did. In this book, Pipher explains why the American family is decaying and what to do about it. For me specifically she inspired me to reduce and be more selective about my media consumption and to be wiser in my use of time. After reading this book I wrote down a list of things that I can and will do in my family to make it strong a...more
I felt Pipher is right on about her opinions on what families need today. The TV needs to be turned off, and people should be creating their own stories and memories. Her case studies presented didn't impress me or really illustrate her points further for me, but I enjoyed her messages. Families should be making conscious decisions about what media is entering their homes and also be conscious about the effect today's popular culture is having upon their specific families. A family's history is ...more
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c 1996 trade paper
from the library computer:
Kirkus Reviews
~ Psychologist Pipher (Reviving Ophelia, 1994) provides a sharp, often unsettling critique of many of the values that currently define our lives, coupled with solid advice for rebuilding families. Maintaining that ``much of our modern unhappiness involves a crisis of meaning and values,'' Pipher contends that technology and consumerism have become the gods of the '90s. Hours spent viewing cable te...more
from the library computer:
Kirkus Reviews
~ Psychologist Pipher (Reviving Ophelia, 1994) provides a sharp, often unsettling critique of many of the values that currently define our lives, coupled with solid advice for rebuilding families. Maintaining that ``much of our modern unhappiness involves a crisis of meaning and values,'' Pipher contends that technology and consumerism have become the gods of the '90s. Hours spent viewing cable te...more
Sharing several family stories about her own and client's backgrounds, therapist Mary Pipher, Ph.D. touches on some recipes for family success. Focusing on collaboration, balance, understanding and love, this guidebook highlights many individual and family therapy principles to find meaning and purpose in the midst of crisis and challenge. Dr. Pipher also lovingly critiques the therapy professional to foster 2nd order change.
How families can help each other by sticking together rather than quarreling. Too often, family members in the mistaken notion that they are right refuse to listen to and respect each other. This book explains about the disintegration of the family during the past one hundred years and how we need to change to bring our families back together.
Borrowed from Endicott College library.
Most of it was good. Gave me a perspective of American culture in the 90's in relation to the family; also perspective of good and not-so-good families. Made me realize we have a fairly healthy family. Only one problem, a big one -- she leaves God out of the picture.
Most of it was good. Gave me a perspective of American culture in the 90's in relation to the family; also perspective of good and not-so-good families. Made me realize we have a fairly healthy family. Only one problem, a big one -- she leaves God out of the picture.
An interesting book about the struggles different families go through. Mary Phipher writes about how technology and media have changed the dynamics of families in bad and good ways. She writes of the importance of families and communities. It really motivated me to reach out to family and neighbors.
Mary Pipher definitively lays out something missing in much of our society, the shelter of each other. The book expounds on the distance people in our country are separated from their families and the subsequent results. I was touched by this book on many levels, professionally, personally, and as a citizen.
This book got me thinking about the sociology of family - several years before I got my degree in Soc. I loved her analysis of how our speed and entertainment-oriented culture whittles away at the family. Her famous book. Reviving Ophelia, is a must read for moms and daughters.
Pipher has an interesting argument about how psychology has damaged the family instead of rebuilding the family. I think she has some great points about the negative impact of consumerism on family life. She falls short in looking at the pressure of gender roles. She hints at being political, but glosses over some of these points.
Ho hum. If you have read Reviving Ophelia, then you have already read this book. What a disappointment, after being so engaged by Reviving Ophelia. Within the book, she has about 5 points to make, then these are repeated over and over. Boring.
I read this book many years ago, but it is still relevant. I use the concepts for making families work in my own life and with the families with whom I work. Good stories to support the concepts presented and easy to read.
Malbadeen
rated it
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review of another edition
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review of another edition
Recommends it for:
people that think the past was a better place
Shelves:
nonfiction
It's an interesting premise: that marriages/families were more sucessful in the past because their stresses were external and thus more dependant on one another, which created a stronger bond in the long run. I'm not sure I agree that outside stresses created a stronger bond, maybe a more immediate and requiring less conscious effort to sustain - but stronger? I'm not sure. and is that better, don't know? and maybe we are at a point where we need to redifine dependance and it will be based on em...more
Also read back in the mid-1990's and I remember being in adoration of this woman's writing because she wants people to love and respect each other. Good ideas on how to start in this book.
this book has so many great ideas and positive outlook on how powerful families can be in todays scary world, I high-light and took notes.
I didn't feel like I learned anything new but maybe that is because I was a sociology major so it seemed repetitive.
Some parts I liked and some parts I didn't. But I thought it had good ideas on how to build families.
I've read this book before but I am re-reading it because I am in need of a refresher.
Same author as Reviving Ophelia - about family relationships. Very good.
Very good. Very applicable. Maybe the author/doctor is Mormon!
Don't remember much, but have loved everything she has written.
Enjoyed it but didn't find anything earth shattering.
A message more urgent than ever.
I cannot say enough good things about this book! I think it is very timely (even if it is 10 years old) and well written. Pipher talks very adeptly about the importance of families, how families have been torn apart by the larger culture and how to fix this problem. I think everyone needs to read this book. Pipher ends the book with a really hopeful tone, giving the reader a feeling that one person can make a difference and that the ills of society really can be repaired.
Pipher, the acclaimed psychologist and author of Reviving Ophelia, is dedicated to helping us rebuild our families and withstand the onslaught of out-of-control consumerism, impulsiveness, entitlement, violence, and isolation. The Shelter of Each Other describes the crises and obstacles we Americans face daily in trying to maintain and protect our families, develop character, and demonstrate commitment to our ideals....
I have recommended this book over and over to everyone that I know. Do not be turned off by the fact that it is non-fiction. It is an amazing book and should be read by everyone.
From Newsweek:
"Eye-opening . . . Pipher's simple solutions for survival in this family-unfriendly culture are peppered throughout the heart-wrenching and uplifting stories of several of her client"
From Newsweek:
"Eye-opening . . . Pipher's simple solutions for survival in this family-unfriendly culture are peppered throughout the heart-wrenching and uplifting stories of several of her client"
Normally, this kind of book is not my style - I've always thought this genre looked at the past with rose-colored glasses and ignored the problems with earlier times. But I thought Pipher did a good job acknowledging the problems from both periods and incorporating the strengths into a new model. It still seems relevant 10 years later.
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Mary Elizabeth Pipher, also known as Mary Bray Pipher, Ph.D., is an American clinical psychologist and author. She received a Bachelor of Arts degree in anthropology from the University of California, Berkeley in 1969 and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Nebraska–Lincoln in 1977. She received a 2006 Presidential Citation from the American Psychological Association, which she r...more
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