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This Is Where I Leave You

3.9 of 5 stars 3.90 · rating details · 23,302 ratings · 3,713 reviews

The death of Judd Foxman’s father marks the first time that the entire Foxman family—including Judd’s mother, brothers, and sister—have been together in years. Conspicuously absent: Judd’s wife, Jen, whose fourteen-month affair with Judd’s radio-shock-jock boss has recently become painfully public.

Simultaneously mourning the death of his father and the demise of his marria...more

Hardcover, 352 pages

Published August 6th 2009 by Orion (first published 2009)

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Jun 30, 2011 Joel rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: audiobooks, 2009, vote-getters

Voice Over: Judd Foxman had the perfect job...

(on-air antics at the radio station; his boss makes a sexist joke)

VO: the perfect girl...

(hot young starlet (Jessica Biel?) smiles at camera)

VO: The perfect life... Until one day, it left him behind.

(smiling, Judd carries an ornate birthday cake into a bedroom. "Surprise, honey! Happy birthday!" Flash cut: Biel in bed, looking over a man's shoulder. "Judd!" The man turns, and it's Judd's boss. "Foxman! How's it hanging?" Back to Judd, who flings the...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Judd Foxman had a content but not always perfect marriage to the woman of his dreams. And then, I guess because Life just enjoys being an asshole, Life knocks Judd down. Judd and his wife lose their first baby, which causes Judd to lose his wife to his boss, which causes Judd to lose his job. And, because Life in this book likes to remorselessly kick people while they're down, Judd loses his father to cancer. And just when you think things can't get any worse, Judd finds out that his atheist fat...more Judd Foxman had a content but not always perfect marriage to the woman of his dreams. And then, I guess because Life just enjoys being an asshole, Life knocks Judd down. Judd and his wife lose their first baby, which causes Judd to lose his wife to his boss, which causes Judd to lose his job. And, because Life in this book likes to remorselessly kick people while they're down, Judd loses his father to cancer. And just when you think things can't get any worse, Judd finds out that his atheist father's last request is for his emotionally stunted family to sit shiva, seven days for a family full of anger and resentment and unresolved issues to come together and mourn. Oh, and Judd's soon to be ex-wife is pregnant. Judd is clearly Life's bitch.

To say that the Foxman family is dysfunctional is an understatement. They're nuckin' futs, folks. There's the oversexed, always inappropriate mother. The middle-aged failed-college-athlete brother. The perpetual boy-child younger brother. The bitter and sarcastic child-factory of a sister. The anxious and emotional sister-in-law desperate for her own child. The brother-in-law who is always glued to his cell phone while spitting out words like "mergers" and "net profit." And then there's lonely, depressed Judd.

The whole dysfunctional family thing is a tricky one for me. When done well, I can't get enough. For example, I love Arrested Development, a show that got the concept just right. But This is Where I Leave You, while admittedly hilarious in spots, is just trying too hard for the laughs in others. These laughs are even harder to come by when one takes into account the angry and bitter tone that runs throughout. It seems to want to be a comedy and a thought-provoking look at mortality and family, but never hits the right balance.

I think what's lacking in the novel is Arrested Development's key to success: Michael Bluth. In a family this messed up and unlikable, you need a relatable character--one you can root for, one that you like, one whose normalcy plays straight man to the overabundance of quirky found in the other characters. I need such a lynchpin character to connect me to the others, because normally these are people I would actively avoid in real life. And Judd Foxman is not such a character. When I say he's Life's bitch, I mean it. Life happens to Judd; he seldom acts to change it or fight against it. He mopes, he whines, he thinks about sex. It's tedious as he's an underdog that deserves to be an underdog. Judd Foxman, you, sir, are no Michael Bluth.

So why the 3 star? There were parts I liked, moments of real, honest humor and the scenes where Judd reflects on the father he remembered and the father he lost to the unavoidable act of growing up have a real poignancy. I wish more time had been spent pursuing this aspect of the novel and less in mourning the loss of a marriage.

Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder (less)

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Nov 15, 2011 Jason rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: for-kindle, 2011, reviewed

This book is weak. I’m not usually a fan of novels that think they can hold their own merit on nothing but shock value and really bad sexual innuendos—I’m pretty sure this book may have overestimated itself. I’d even feel bad for it, but the fact that its shallow cliché-ness seems to beg for a Hollywood deal rather sucks up any pity I might have otherwise had.

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Jul 05, 2010 JFN rated it 2 of 5 stars

I picked up this book on the recommendation of an acquaintance whose taste I trust. And in reading the dust jacket flap, I was immediately drawn in by the idea of the book: a family -- four siblings -- mourning the death of their father, coming together for seven days to sit shiva. The book promised to be witty and biting, an unforgiving look at family dynamic. I'm in. Sign me up.

Eh.

For sure there was some great language in here. Some sharp observations about disappointment and growing up and lo...more I picked up this book on the recommendation of an acquaintance whose taste I trust. And in reading the dust jacket flap, I was immediately drawn in by the idea of the book: a family -- four siblings -- mourning the death of their father, coming together for seven days to sit shiva. The book promised to be witty and biting, an unforgiving look at family dynamic. I'm in. Sign me up.

Eh.

For sure there was some great language in here. Some sharp observations about disappointment and growing up and loss and fucking up that leaped off the page. And I really appreciate that and am glad I read this book for that alone. The observations about life are what's best about this book. But aside from that there was a very one-dimensional quality to the dialogue -- families, siblings in particular, just don't talk to each other the way they do in this book. It was contrived and hollow. And the characterization was flat, the characters all cardboard cutouts stuffed into traditional family pigeon holes. The wacky mom. The charming fuck up little brother. The angry older brother. The bitchy, harried older sister. The aloof brother in law. The cheating ex-wife. The douche-bag boss. There was a lot of wize-cracking and mutual disrespect and dismissiveness, but none of it came across as at all genuine or charming.

I also wonder if the author has really experienced the death of a parent, as the characters in this book have. It doesn't seem like it. Apart from a few scattered "I miss Dad"'s, there's no believable, relatable sign of grief, of real loss, of the myriad ramifications and changes that are set into motion when one loses a parent and that you can't know about until it happens to you. It seems to me that Tropper doesn't know about any of that and therefore couldn't write about it. The grief is conspicuously absent.

I just learned that this book is being adapted for film, and this comes as no surprise to me. In fact, the entire time I was reading this book I had the sense that Tropper wrote it with the goal of getting optioned, and that kind of pisses me off. This book reads like a film, and not in a good way -- not in a way that says that the author's writing style is inspired by film but rather that he wants to bust into the film industry and he wrote a book to make it happen. I resent that. It's a cheap move.

It's amazing -- and dismaying -- to me what passes as brilliant writing these days. This was a marginally fun read, not bad, not great, kind of interesting in some places, but all in all lightweight (strange considering the subject matter) and, ultimately, kind of a throw-away read. I wanted -- and expected -- more.(less)

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Jan 15, 2012 Alison rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: american, contemporary, fiction, read-in-2012, about-family

-Probably one of the most effective combinations of heartbreaking and hilarious I've ever read.

-Something about it is cinematic, and almost begs to be turned into a movie (one that won't be as good as the book, of course), and subsequently a few of the plot points feel just very slightly bordering on cliché.

-It took me most of the book before I began to realize that, due to the narrator's state of depression, he's a bit hard to like. But at the same time, it's his wry observations that make the...more

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Oct 20, 2010 Kemper rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, modern-lit, we-are-family

Does this story sound like it’d tickle your funny bone? Judd Foxman and his wife Jen lost a baby during the last months of her pregnancy. A year later, he catches her in bed with his boss, a crude radio shock-jock. Months after that, Judd doesn’t have a job and is living in a crappy apartment when he gets the news that his father finally died after long battle with cancer. Just then, Jen drops by to let him know that she’s pregnant. Judd’s even more shocked to learn that his father’s last reques...more

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May 23, 2010 Reese rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Reese by: Kathy

Shelves: favorites, recom-by-gr-friends

"The family that prays together stays together," or so a television commercial used to tell us. But can a family that DOESN'T pray together stay together -- for just a week? Even after a death in the family?

A Jewish family that has lost a parent, spouse, sibling, or child stays together for seven days -- to pray together and to mourn together -- or so Jewish law requires. The family created by Jonathan Tropper aims to do this because the children of the deceased are told that their father wante...more "The family that prays together stays together," or so a television commercial used to tell us. But can a family that DOESN'T pray together stay together -- for just a week? Even after a death in the family?

A Jewish family that has lost a parent, spouse, sibling, or child stays together for seven days -- to pray together and to mourn together -- or so Jewish law requires. The family created by Jonathan Tropper aims to do this because the children of the deceased are told that their father wanted the family to sit shiva. But how will Mort Foxman's family, a family with scant interest in living "Jewishly" and a thick catalogue of unresolved personal and interpersonal issues, do this? Fortunately, the time spent together does not result in further loss of life and piggybacked mourning periods. Of course, sitting shiva the Foxman way does not preclude posting a sign that says, "SHIVA CANCELED ON ACCOUNT OF RAIN. TRY AGAIN TOMORROW. -- THE MANAGEMENT"(271) or violating most of the Ten Commandments. Granted, nobody commits murder. And the pain of the family's togetherness does not end without gain.

Some scenes in THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU are, no doubt, preposterous. Realism, though, can be a side dish in a work that fills the belly with laughter. Tropper's does.

I would have appreciated Tropper's novel even if I hadn't happened to read it three weeks after the shiva period following my brother's death. Only three of us were official mourners, and everyone survived to tell her own version of the tale. Nobody suffered a stroke or committed suicide. Yet who can say what might have occurred if, a few hours after my brother's funeral, I hadn't been able to say, "This is where I leave you"? Since only a five-minute drive separates my home from my mother's, I wasn't staying away or going far -- only to a whole different world. THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU -- those words, that book -- can take you, if not where you want to go, at least away from where you need to NOT BE.

*Footnote: The review of my GR friend Kathy Connolly prompted me to add THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU to my "to-read list" before my brother was diagnosed with an incurable illness. And when I began reading the novel,I had no memory of the mention of shiva in her review. Support for the belief that "stuff (or some stuff) happens for a reason"? I like to think so. (less)

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Mar 11, 2010 Djrmel rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, humor, fiction, z2009-read

Tropper is a talented writer. His previoous books prove that. Unfortunately, in this book, you can see him trying to prove it. There are some passages that are well written and fit perfectly to the flow of the story. There are others that read like an observance or thought that he jotted down in his writing journal once upon a time, rediscovered it when he was writing this book, and forced a situation where he could use the phrase. It's too clever for its own good.

I also feel that Tropper's inne...more

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May 04, 2012 Veronica rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: owned-books, all-time-favs

This was the first Jonathan Tropper book I read and I'm so glad I decided to pick it up. I work in a bookstore and this book kept catching my eye because of the simplicity of the design. Anyway, our main character is home to mourn the death of his father. Meanwhile, his personal life is falling to pieces. His family is like one big sitcom with twisting stories that most of us can only imagine. By the time I reached the end of the book, I was praying that there were more pages that had just falle...more

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Mar 28, 2013 Cheryl rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: general-fiction

Around the same time Judd loses his father, he walks in on his wife of 10 years having sex with his boss. In their bedroom. Pretty vivid and erotic scene the narrator describes. Soon, Judd learns that his father's last wish was for the family to sit shiva (a 7-day ordeal). Some of the book centers around this weird family saga as you meet the characters through Judd's eyes as he flips to present and past tense, giving you the story as it unfolds at the shiva sit-in, and reflecting on his married...more Around the same time Judd loses his father, he walks in on his wife of 10 years having sex with his boss. In their bedroom. Pretty vivid and erotic scene the narrator describes. Soon, Judd learns that his father's last wish was for the family to sit shiva (a 7-day ordeal). Some of the book centers around this weird family saga as you meet the characters through Judd's eyes as he flips to present and past tense, giving you the story as it unfolds at the shiva sit-in, and reflecting on his married life.

Poignant indeed. Judd is very tuned in to his feelings and this was appealing to the story, this amazing revelation of the male psyche. This was one character very well developed. The book started with a five-star rating from me, then slowly went to four because although I was tickled by the weird sort of osmosis of this family, it was Judd's story I really liked. Some of the dialogue with minor characters (neighbors who dropped by to sit with the family) caused the story to drag a bit for me. This is one of those books that sells more by focusing the blurb on the family, when the story is really about a thirty-something-year-old guy who must deal with death and possible divorce, but in the meantime, is forced to stay in a house, for a week, with his funny and atrocious family. I liked hearing him describe his wife lovingly, reflect on their marriage which started when they were college-aged, open up about his insecurities, deal with women after witnessing his wife and his boss, etc.

It's rare that you get a male character so deeply self aware and who draws you into what he's feeling:

"I'm living in separate universes, and I have no idea where I actually belong"

"A cold sense of desolation lodged itself somewhere in the base of my throat, and suddenly I was no longer enraged or devastated, but terrified of the immense, throbbing loneliness that was only now closing like a vise on my internal organs."

Tropper also has this astounding and refreshing way with descriptions and dialogue: his dialogue reads like normal, contemporary, All-american conversation, his characters are depicted with laugh-out-loud details (i.e. when he describes his wife's lover: "If you were to draw a caricature of Wade, you would emphasize those supernaturally perfect teeth, his ridiculously broad shoulders, and of course, his unrepentant c***" and when he describes a neighbor, "...the view from down here in the chairs is not a pleasant one. All legs and crotch as far as the eye can see, and, if you look up, double chins and nasal hair").

The tone is funny and sad; Judd's dramatic family is a balance to his melancholy.

I could have done without the psychological interpretations of his life through the two-paged-dream descriptions scattered throughout the book though. (less)

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Apr 27, 2011 Lindsey rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, cute, duh, just-sorta-there, love-to-be-a-hater

This book made me think... if I were a character in a generic pseudo-indie dramedy what all would happen?

I'm thinking I would be a slightly bitter divorcee who chain smokes and uses scathing sarcasm as a defense mechanism. Coming home would unleash a fury of hilarious down home characters who would be surprised at my current state of bitchiness but would still embrace me, slowly chipping away at my hard exterior until my slightly warmer (still bitchy) interior is exposed. Maybe my ex-husband wou...more This book made me think... if I were a character in a generic pseudo-indie dramedy what all would happen?

I'm thinking I would be a slightly bitter divorcee who chain smokes and uses scathing sarcasm as a defense mechanism. Coming home would unleash a fury of hilarious down home characters who would be surprised at my current state of bitchiness but would still embrace me, slowly chipping away at my hard exterior until my slightly warmer (still bitchy) interior is exposed. Maybe my ex-husband would show up in some weird attempt to win me back but I'd have a really hard time with it because I ran into my old high school crush (Jake or Rambo) who is looking good and has flawless hair- making me reevaluate not going to homecoming with him and instead studying for my SATs that I got a perfect score on, allowing me to get a full scholarship somewhere prestigious and that's why I'm always quoting things and typing on a typewriter the whole time I'm home.

Jake/Rambo would take me on a cute/romantic date. Maybe to the old roller rink or a possible haunted amusement park at night, since he knows the owner. There might even be a cool five minute Scooby Doo mystery thrown in for shits and giggles because that's the kind of hijinks we're used to, Jake/Rambo and me. Right as we're about to kiss in the Love Tunnel, something will stop us from it and the reason he is still single will be made apparent to me, either by a talking crab- his beeper going off showing he's a workaholic and/or drug user/dealer- his kid he hasn't told me about being arrested and him needing to go bail them out- etc., etc. Either way: hilarious.

I'll be driving home listening to a great song that will define this movie, when something will spring in front of my car. I swerve to avoid the deer/stallion/minotaur that darted out in front of my car and find myself face to face with my ex-husband, who is laying on top of his car drinking out of a paper bag at a scenic overlook.

We'll have a real heart to heart, establishing why things didn't work out and probably never will but we'll have some hope and longing and maybe a few minutes of some sloppy making out, since Jake/Rambo left me hanging in the Love Tunnel earlier. I'm not proud but it will establish that the door is "closed" but also open a crack.

He'll leave and I'll look out on the scenery, that song will start playing again and I'll get a look of determination and know, forget hot ex-husband and Jake/Rambo- I can make it in this world alone. As long as I have my trusty typewriter and my abundent frequent flyer miles... since I'll be leaving for Rome the next day, setting up my next movie since this one is going to be a box office GIANT. (less)

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Apr 24, 2011 Nicole rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Nick Hornby fans

Shelves: 2011-book-challenge

Shiva is a Jewish mourning ritual during which a family mourns the death of one of their direct relatives for a period of seven days, all house mirrors are covered and all meals are provided by neighbors and friends. The Foxman family has just lost their patriarch, Mort, and are surprised that a nonreligious man has asked them to sit shiva after his death. And so, this family so accustomed at avoiding each other and suppressing all of their emotions, gathers at their family house to reflect on t...more Shiva is a Jewish mourning ritual during which a family mourns the death of one of their direct relatives for a period of seven days, all house mirrors are covered and all meals are provided by neighbors and friends. The Foxman family has just lost their patriarch, Mort, and are surprised that a nonreligious man has asked them to sit shiva after his death. And so, this family so accustomed at avoiding each other and suppressing all of their emotions, gathers at their family house to reflect on their lost relative, but also on their screwed up lives. A sister with a neglectful husband and three young kids; an older brother with a baby crazed wife who's unable to conceive and who was forced by an unfortunate childhood accident to give up his childhood dreams; a loser younger brother dating a much older women and forcing himself to finally grow up; and a sixty-something year old mother with store bought breasts toying with lesbianism. Last but not least, our narrator Judd, a thirty-three year old man who just found out that his wife was sleeping with his boss, and if that wasn't enough, that she's pregnant with their miracle baby. Meanwhile while grappling with the shattered pieces of his life, Judd remembers his father as a stern man who enjoyed his kids as long as they were little, but when they grew up stopped paying attention. It's a sad story and a reflection on life, because not only is Judd sitting shiva for his father, he is in a way sitting shiva for himself, or better yet for what his life used to be, and so he learns how in an instant life can unravel and we are left clutching the threads that used to make up the tapestry of our lives (and now I sound like that cotton commercial).

This book could make an excellent movie, if books were ever faithfully rewritten into scripts and casting was ever spot on. But I could see myself watching this movie and enjoying it, instead of cringing at all the moments that differ from the book. At least I see this being much more adaptable than "The Corrections".

I recommend this book to anyone who has read a book by Nick Hornby and enjoyed it, but expect Tropper to succeed were Hornby fails. Let me be fair to Tropper, I recommend this book to anyone who read "High Fidelity" and enjoyed it, Hornby has been lagging recently. (less)

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Dec 01, 2009 Diandra rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009

I always thought the phrase, "one-trick-pony", was kind of demeaning but after reading my second Tropper book in a row- I wouldn't necessarily classify that phrase as demeaning but definitely apropos. Tropper has a few standard characters that he incorporates into his stories. The protagonist is usually a flawed, witty, yet likeable guy. Family members range from selfish mothers, emotionally-distant fathers, and wacky siblings. It's like a formula, which makes his books intersting, but extremely...more

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Feb 26, 2011 Allison rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary-realistic-fiction, adult

Meh. This book was fine, but it wasn't good. My main problem is that there seemed to be a lot of anger at and objectifying of women on the part of the main character, Judd Foxman. There was a lot of talking about women (both young and old) as body parts (though to be fair, this happened a lot with the descriptions of men too) and as vehicles for Judd's fantasies. I get it that his wife cheated on him, but still I didn't like this part of the narrative. Maybe I just wasn't supposed to like Judd a...more

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Sep 19, 2011 Erin M rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fiction, read-september-2011

"Often sidesplitting, mostly heartbreaking...[Tropper is] a more sincere, insightful version of Nick Hornby, that other master of male psyche." --USA Today

Sidesplitting? This was not a humorous read to me. Heartbreaking? I wish I could say I was that invested in the story. This Is Where I Leave You wasn't an awful read, it just wasn't ever terribly interesting. The overall feeling I had when I finished this book was that it was like reading a cheap imitation of a Jonathan Franzen novel. Tropper...more

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Aug 02, 2011 Candace Burton rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've heard that in your dreams, you are actually everyone you interact with. This hysterically lifelike novel was a bit like a dream, in that I could identify with almost every single character--or at least with the way other people saw them. "Hysterically lifelike" may sound like an odd turn of phrase, but I can see where some people are not going to find this book funny. I feel sorry for them, because I nearly fell out of bed giggling on several occasions, due to the familiarity of many of the...more

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Mar 10, 2011 Kalli rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

Five. Five. Five.

Fifty pages in and Tropper had declared himself one of my favorite authors. I will be reading more of his work ASAP.

Two words - Fucking hilarious.

Sex, Drugs, Love, Hate...in abundance. Love it.

I can't decide which I was drawn to more, Tropper's sarcastic wit or the not-so-subtle family dysfunction. I loved the idea of the four siblings and the erratic mother coming together to mourn the death of their father/husband. I fell in love with each of the siblings at some point or ano...more

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Apr 20, 2013 KrisAnne rated it 2 of 5 stars

A grating combination of trying too hard to be funny, casual misogyny, and generally unsympathetic characters. Tropper also seems completely obsessed with judging the physiognomy and physiques of all of the characters, including minor ones that just show up to sit shiva or whatever. Heaven forbid that you grow old and expose any skin, or wear low-riding jeans postpartum. Everyone is physically icky except for the shining goddess of a wife who cheated on him, and all the women about whom he makes...more

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Aug 03, 2010 Libby rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: current-recommendations, fiction-comedy-parody, read-audio-book, read-in-2010, vacation-reads

This Is Where I Leave You – is the kind of book that makes you stop, think and be thankful, even for the crappy stuff. Judd Foxman has hit life’s rock bottom - his wife cheated with his boss, he’s quit his job, currently lives in a basement, and his terminally ill father has recently died. He must now return home and participate in the tradition of Shiva, spending a full week in mourning, with a family he can barely stand. However, as the reader experiences the week of Shiva with Judd’s family i...more

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Oct 11, 2009 Gail rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary-fiction, favorite-authors, book-club

To the critics who compare the Foxmans to the Bluth family, it's a comparison well made.

"This is Where I Leave You" tells the story of the Foxman family — four siblings and a mother — grieving the death of their father who they believe wants them all to sit shiva (they are Jewish) for the week following his death.

The book is told from the voice of Judd Foxman, who joins in the shiva just as his life is falling apart: a cheating spouse who tells him on the day of his father's death that she's pr...more

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Feb 25, 2012 Shelia rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: a-divine-madness-book-club

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Apr 13, 2011 Jessica (booneybear) rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-in-my-home-library, read-in-2011

I feel like a two star rating is a bad thing but by definition the book was ok. I liked the writing and the flow of the book was good. I just felt that the book was also written by a sex craved teenager.

Sure sex is fun and enjoyable but I feel like I was trasported back to jr high or high school when the boys were obsessed with anything to do with sex. About half way through the story, I felt that the author was just beating a dead horse. I get it already, how about a bit more character develop...more

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Jun 11, 2012 Barbara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Hilarious, enlightening, warm, remorseful, engaging-there aren't enough adjectives to describe this book-at times so 'laugh out loud funny' and then other times 'tissue time'. The characters are so real you pretty much climb right into the pages of this book. Just read it and see what you think~they're making a movie out of it!

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Sep 01, 2011 Carrie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 5-stars

Sweet, tender, and laugh-out-loud hilarious. Who knew that sitting shiva could be this much fun?

Thanks so much for the recommendation, Lisa!

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May 04, 2013 Katherine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Perfect book for my state of mind at the time, which was tired but not brain-dead. I needed to read something fun but not stupid, not too challenging, but with a bit more substance. And this hit the spot.

Tropper's writing is a great deal of fun and his characters manage to be sympathetic and engaging, despite the fact that they're all pretty unpleasant. The plot teeters on the edge of formulaic--dysfunctional family reassembles under duress to sit shiva for their recently deceased father, despit...more

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Apr 07, 2013 Michelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

I absolutely loved this book, but I am certain that it will not appeal to every
reader. The tone is what makes this book along with the characterizations.
It is a deft blend of cynicism mixed with hopefulness, not an easy feat to pull off.

In the Jewish religion, the spouse and the children of someone who has died
sit shiva following the funeral. You sit shiva in the home, following traditional
customs such as covering all mirrors and having the family members sit on
boxes instead of chairs. Many p...more

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Mar 25, 2013 Phil rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really loved this book; it brought pleasingly to mind other recent favorites like "Domestic Violets" and "The Financial Lives of the Poets" and even "The Marriage Plot."

It did indeed have a made-for-film feel -- and, in fact, Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Jane Fonda and Adam Drive are set to star in a script that Tropper himself is writing or has written -- but it's comic relevance, suburban Jewish familiarity and 'love hurts even when it doesn't' acknowledgements make that okay. It seems light at...more

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Jan 26, 2013 Steven rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: novels

I enjoyed Jonathan Tropper's This is Where I leave You. However, I did not overly enjoy it. The subject was just too painful, the confines too narrow.

I enjoyed the writing, as I noted in my review of his previous book. I enjoyed the dark humor, though it was at times so dark that the humor was hard to discern. Some of the plot twists seemed a little controlled; just how much can I beat up on my characters.

It would be neglectful of me not to say that this has the funniest scene in which a man dis...more

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Dec 08, 2012 Bücherplanet rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Inhalt:

Kurz nachdem seine Frau ihn mit seinem Chef betrogen hat, stirbt Judds Vater. Und obwohl total ungläubig, lautet der letzte Wunsch des Vaters, dass seine Kinder und seine Frau Schiwa sitzen sollen. Vier Kinder, die es bei Familientreffen nicht erwarten können, wieder zu verschwinden und die regelmäßig vorzeitig die Flucht ergreifen, werden gezwungen sieben Tage auf engstem Raum zu verbringen.

Meinung:

Das Buch ist in der ich-Form geschrieben und behandelt daher ausschließlich Judds Sicht de...more

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Dec 06, 2012 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars

Another of my spontaneous Goodwill purchases, this novel follows Judd Foxman as he navigates the waters of a lost baby, the infidelity of his wife Jen with his boss and his subsequent dealings with each, and the sitting of shiva for his dead father which comes with its own dysfunctional family dramas.

How you can not like a novel that practically begins with the image of Judd returning home early on his wife's birthday, lit cheesecake in hand, only to discover his boss on top of her and shoving...more Another of my spontaneous Goodwill purchases, this novel follows Judd Foxman as he navigates the waters of a lost baby, the infidelity of his wife Jen with his boss and his subsequent dealings with each, and the sitting of shiva for his dead father which comes with its own dysfunctional family dramas.

How you can not like a novel that practically begins with the image of Judd returning home early on his wife's birthday, lit cheesecake in hand, only to discover his boss on top of her and shoving that lit cake up his boss' ass, well, is beyond me. Often times I found myself marveling over the very practical handling or summation of the situations with which he's presented. On suddenly realizing everything he had, home, wife, father is gone Judd says:

"It's like setting out to drive cross-country without any gas money. I will look back at this time and see it is as the start of the slow process that ends with me dying alone after living out my days in an empty apartment with only the television and a slow, waddling dog to keep me company, the kind of place that will smell stale to visitors, but not to me, since the stale thing is me. And I can feel that miserable future hurtling toward me at high speed, thundering across the plains a cloud of dust like a wildebeest stampede."

Or after learning his wife is pregnant and it's his, he is forced to consider what his role in the baby's life will be while simultaneously being encouraged by his little brother to smash the crap out his wife's lover's Maserati with the tire iron currently in his hand.

"I realize now that this is how it will be, Wade on the inside, and me out here in the rain, and no magical heartbeat to change that. I will always be the odd man out, the guy everyone secretly hopes won't show up to the party and put everyone on edge. And right now, that seems like more injustice than any man should rightfully be asked to swallow. If that's what I have to look forward to, I'm not sure I'm going to be up for it at all. This is a crucial moment, I know that, but that's never stopped me before.

And thirty seconds is really all you need with a good tire iron in your hand."

This novel isn't written in the traditional chapters with each giving more to the prior or the next one. Instead, this work is really a chapter ordered, collection of scenes from Judd's life. You might find yourself in the back of a taxi with Judd while he analyzes a driver he'll never see again simply because he's in the taxi at the time. The only thing that gives this novel a traditional sense of order is the fact that you're sitting with Judd for seven days after his father's death. Years passed summed up in the two paragraph inclusion of a flashback scene. Personalities pinpointed by one gesture or witty turn of phrase. And because it's a work of genius scenes, it makes sense that the novel doesn't end tied up neatly. You know Judd as you've known him all along, how he's doing in the moment. And somehow that itself is an appropriate conclusion.

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About Jonathan Tropper

Jonathan Tropper is the author of Everything Changes, The Book of Joe , which was a Booksense selection, and Plan B. He lives with his wife, Elizabeth, and their children in Westchester, New York, where he teaches writing at Manhattanville College. How To Talk To A Widower was optioned by Paramount Pictures, and Everything Changes and The Book of Joe are also in development as feature films.

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“You have to look at what you have right in front of you, at what it could be, and stop measuring it against what you've lost. I know this to be wise and true, just as I know that pretty much no one can do it.” — 107 people liked it

“We all start out so damn sure, thinking we've got the world on a string. If we ever stopped to think about the infinite number of ways we could be undone, we'd never leave our bedrooms.” — 76 people liked it

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