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How to Love
Dr. Gordon Livingston’s books have resonated with readers as universally and deeply as earlier books by M. Scott Peck, Rollo May, and Erich Fromm. Now, Gordon Livingston—a physician of the human heart, a philosopher of human psychology—offers an urgently needed meditation on who best (and who best not) to love—and how best to love. Dr. Livingston’s primary focus in this ne...more
Hardcover, 205 pages
Published
May 26th 2009
by Da Capo Lifelong Books
(first published May 25th 2009)
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Mark Helprin says Gordon Livingston was brushed by fire; I'd say more like scorched and scarred. I brought this home because I can't stand not knowing HOW to do anything, most especially LOVE. Gordon suggests that we stay away from sociopaths. Check. Also depressed people.
um.
Livingston writes for the young love-seeker, but with the gristle of an old heart. I couldn't stomach much.
GREAT title, though; and I hold on to an idea found here: that we seek in others what we want to find in ourselves....more
um.
Livingston writes for the young love-seeker, but with the gristle of an old heart. I couldn't stomach much.
GREAT title, though; and I hold on to an idea found here: that we seek in others what we want to find in ourselves....more
Dr. Livingston's book is a great guide to love and finding it in your life. His chapters are succinct and pithy, making it a straightforward and highly productive read. I've shown my Amazon review of his book below:
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Finding The Right Life Partner & Avoiding The Wrong Ones, July 6, 2009
By Lawrence J. Danks (Barrington,NJ) - See all my reviews
This review is from: "How to Love" (Hardcover)
"How To Love" could just as easily have...more
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Finding The Right Life Partner & Avoiding The Wrong Ones, July 6, 2009
By Lawrence J. Danks (Barrington,NJ) - See all my reviews
This review is from: "How to Love" (Hardcover)
"How To Love" could just as easily have...more
Hmm. This book is about what characteristics/character flaws you should avoid in a person, because if you don't they will break your heart.
And to attract a mate who has the qualities you want (which he also elucidates) you must tend and grow those qualities in yourself. This is the kind of book which has the advice you should be hearing from the elders in your tribe/community.
To get a good idea of this book, read the table of contents. For example, "The most dangerous thing to eat is a weddin...more
And to attract a mate who has the qualities you want (which he also elucidates) you must tend and grow those qualities in yourself. This is the kind of book which has the advice you should be hearing from the elders in your tribe/community.
To get a good idea of this book, read the table of contents. For example, "The most dangerous thing to eat is a weddin...more
Saw this in the new release section of the library and of course had my interest piqued by the thought of an instruction manual for love. From the head of a psychologist who's done much marriage counseling it was a good reminder of how we make that decision to 'love' someone and how we can so often screw up the concept, melt it into a power struggle or fight for control. Livingston attempts to shed light on how 'love' becomes bickering - arguments over equality and criticism of character. He rem...more
Reading this felt a lot like a conversation with a more wise person. The funny thing is, the author is a psychologist but it wasn't technical. I don't think this book is meant to be in the psychology section at a book store. It was a man's observation of relationships and being a psychologist was secondary? I never felt like i was listening to a psychologist, maybe a grandfather. And it didn't turn me off like other self help like books. It was very common sense oriented. It was a very thoughtfu...more
I bought this for Terry for Valentine's Day meaning for us both to read it, so that we might understand what we have undertaken for the last 15 years a little better.
It's so insightful. One of the points it makes is that so often used phrase, "Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses." I, for instance, am pretty transparent. I love sincerely and expect others to do the same. However, that belief that transparency is all-present and that others are not motivated by some other reason is...more
It's so insightful. One of the points it makes is that so often used phrase, "Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses." I, for instance, am pretty transparent. I love sincerely and expect others to do the same. However, that belief that transparency is all-present and that others are not motivated by some other reason is...more
I would never have picked up this beautifully bound book with self-helpless title, except I found it at the Pt. Reyes bookstore, and they know hidden gems. This book puts down in cold type serious groups of people to avoid, and then spells out what each of us are looking for in others. Sounds simple. His goal is that we pass on this body of knowledge about human relationships to our children. They shouldn't have to flounder and learn painfully. Almost elegant. Author of "Too Soon Old, Too Late S...more
This book lists and defines the kinds of people you meet in a journey through singlehood that you should avoid and then the ones to seek out. For example, there is a great section reviewing the characteristics of people from mild self absorption through narcissism into a sociopath. I've met them all and wish I'd had this guidebook earlier.
This book took me a long time to power through. I appreciate the author's messages but often disagreed with them. I found the basic idea to be avoid dysfunctional people, here's a list of them, and if you're with one it's your fault. I was disappointed that it seemed based on opinion rather than theory or research.
Took me forever to muddle through this waste. Author is judgmental and oversimplifies most topics. I especially did not like the way he presented a veritable "Who to Avoid" list which included people who have been abused to those with mental illness; it was almost as if these people are unworthy, hopeless and a waste of time. It also seemed to me that the implications were there to suggest people should marry within race, only those from upper middle class homes where there was a stay at home mo...more
An interesting read - giving me food for thought - on how I would be in a relationship myself. In what areas or traits of myself would cause people to be happy, or unhappy, and ultimately, potentially leaving me. It also highlights things about expectations, especially between a parent and child which was very different to my upbringing, but I could see value in his words.
Reading this on and off at the moment. It's got some good advice, and some insightful social commentary, but the tone is quite cynical and jaded. Not a happy la-la book at all!
Edit: Read most of this but it was so cynical, whiney and repetitive that I couldn't finish it.
Edit: Read most of this but it was so cynical, whiney and repetitive that I couldn't finish it.
While Gordon Livingston doesn't share the faith that is so much a part of my life, he has amazing understanding and insight of relationships and human nature! This book is very helpful.
it was ok..interesting but not the type of book I want to read all the time
Should be everyone's handbook kept in their bag for everyday emergencies.
Started to read it but soon got tired of all the aphorisms.
Very marriage oriented. Not my thing at this time.
A beautiful book.
like it and keep it handy
May 19, 2013
Joyce Vicks
marked it as to-read
Apr 14, 2013
Jennalee
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Apr 11, 2013
Sara
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Mar 24, 2013
Charlene
is currently reading it
Mar 22, 2013
KOMET
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review of another edition
Shelves:
psychology-life-studies
Mar 21, 2013
Kate
marked it as to-read
Mar 19, 2013
Lynn Yeung
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