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Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be
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Intellectual Foreplay: A Book of Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be

3.94  ·  Rating Details ·  125 Ratings  ·  12 Reviews
This solutions-oriented guide offers problem solving and behavior changing strategies for people working on their most intimate relationships. The book provides readers with: enhanced knowledge of their own and their partners' beliefs, values, habits, desires, goals, likes, and dislikes; ideas for opening communication and deepening a relationship; skills for making health ...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published January 20th 2000 by Hunter House
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Jul 17, 2013 Elizabeth rated it really liked it
While browsing the shelves at my public library, I came across this very interesting book. I had been poking around the relationship section looking for something fun and/or helpful to read. I had already picked up one of those “how well do you know your significant other” books, but this one intrigued me more. Mostly because the title was interesting. lol

Some backstory: I’m really bad about asking deep, probing questions, especially about personal matters. It’s just not something I like to brin
Mar 04, 2012 Jaclyn rated it really liked it
This is a great book for anyone who really wants to develop their relationships. It's designed specifically for people who are thinking about becoming, or already are, romantically involved. However, the author also notes that there are certain sections that are really good for any relationship, and there are some that are also appropriate, and even important, for roommates and people thinking about living together.

I love getting to know you type books, and I particularly like this one because I
Aug 20, 2016 Michelle rated it really liked it
Very thorough questions. Sometimes the passages were a bit lengthy. Overall, my boyfriend and I enjoyed this book and would definitely recommend to other couples or potential couples! I think we are both even more confident in our compatibility and our relationship as a whole.


It's been a year since we went through this book together, and we're to be married this November! This book made it very clear to us how compatible we are and I'm so certain that we're a great match! Recommend t
Jun 06, 2015 Craig rated it really liked it
Quirky title but a good book. Wish I'd had this material a long time ago.
Pete Storm
While it's a little touchy feely and has a definite hippy vibe, I like the premise. "Here's a bunch of questions you can ask before you jump into bed with someone"

The advise is pretty good in terms of how to approach the questions and how to work them into conversations. The anecdotes support the text fairly well, and the narrative of the method works out pretty well.

We're pretty deep into our marriage, so a lot of the questions weren't relevant, but a couple provoked some thought.
Apr 20, 2007 John rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: dating & married couples
Great book for people wanting to establish or round out a relationship. It's filled with questions dealing with married life. The idea is that potential spouses take time to ask the questions so that they can determine how they both see the answers. This can help to identify potential problems and bring both people closer as they work out a solution.

Great read for anyone dating and wondering if this is the one or a married couple who needs to discuss things.
Difficult book to rate for me. I think a lot of the questions are very good and important, but they are questions I've already asked or been asked for the most part. Does that mean they are obvious, or does it mean that when you're in a long-distance relationship these sorts of questions tend to come out? I don't know.

So, I'll recommend the book with the caveat that the questions might be really helpful OR really obvious.
Jul 13, 2010 Jim rated it liked it
An interesting approach to new or existing relationships. The premise is that people usually spend more time and effort researching and buying a house than they do when looking for a partner. Poses questions to ask a potential partner that may help one to really understand who the other person is and how well a relationship with them might work. Good reading, and I've used the questions in practice with varying success.
Sep 28, 2011 Roxanne marked it as unfinished
Shelves: self-help
F and I have two copies of this book--we started reading it together when we were long-distance, talking about the questions over the phone. It was really interesting, but then we got engaged and he moved here before we could finish it, and now we're well on our way to knowing everything about each other.
Jul 20, 2015 Holly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
great book! A MUST for two people getting involved. Shoulda read this bad boy a few years
It's a book for couples, but I used it as a source of self-exploration. Another fill-in book from 2001.
Oct 19, 2014 Jen added it
I'm on page 61, and actually, it's really helpful so far!
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