The Five Love Languages: Men's Edition: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
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The Five Love Languages: Men's Edition: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

4.15 of 5 stars 4.15  ·  rating details  ·  595 ratings  ·  82 reviews
Marriages may be made in heaven, but they must be nurtured here on earth. Dr. Chapman explains how people communicate love in different ways, and shares the wonderful things that happen when men and women learn to speak each other's language.
Kindle Edition
Published (first published May 1st 2004)
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Meg
I know what you're thinking... "Meg, are you, in fact... a MAN???" Nope. My brother-in-law just handed me a copy of his book (the "Men's Edition") a few weeks ago and told me to read it, that it would probably improve my marriage and understanding of my husband. And it did! It's a great book, and Chapman’s a genius. My main issue with it was redundancy. There doesn't need to be a whole book about this theory (much less several), the following paragraph would suffice:

There are five major ways tha...more
Ellis
Let me just say one thing about this book. It claims itself to be a special edition for men. Well, I don't know what type of man this author is used to (maybe one that doesn't like to keep any dormant mushy side from being exposed to the world), but just because this book has a brown cover doesn't make it very "manly". I don't have many other books in my library that have big hearts with arrows through them on the cover. Every, and I mean EVERY, new chapter has the same big sweetie-pie picture o...more
Trevor Acy
This is one of those books that while you are reading it you think to yourself "well of course" and "I knew that". Yet at the same time realizing that you've never really considering the ideas that Chapman presents about the way two people express and more importantly receive love from one another.

I pretty quickly discovered that my primary love language is definitely Words of Affirmation. Most men, and Chapman points this out often, assume they operate from the Physical Touch language but that...more
Grace
Now, as a single young woman, I assumed I would read about communication modes of a well functioning loving marriage, which, btw, is a beautiful thing to behold. However I was surprised at how the 5 love languages are so universal and explained so articulately and relatably the different ways that people express and experience love. Although this edition was targeted at married men, I learned a lot about myself and my own love language by reading it. It helped me to understand a lot of the pains...more
Dr.bilal Alabsi
a nice Book helps you to keep the love with your partner throughout your Marrige,it leerns you how to learn the love Language of your Partner and how to stay in love with her/him
Susan
Very interesting idea. The author is a long-time marital counselor who believes that even very well-meaning couples can leave each other crying for emotional support because they aren't communicating their affection in the way their spouse can hear it best. Its not a perfect book by any means, but it does introduce the idea that some of us respond most to "Words of Affirmation (praise/compliments) and some respond more deeply to Touch (hugs, etc), Gifts, Service (dedicated actions) or Quality Ti...more
Adrienne
My reverend asked my sweetheart and I to read this book so we could discuss it during pre-marital counseling sessions. Dr. Chapman is curiously fixated on locations. “It was in New Mexico that I became acquainted with the third love language, thanks to Debra, a woman who approached me after a seminar.” This is the beginning of pretty much every chapter. “It was in [State name] that I discovered the [number between one and five] language, thanks to [generic name], who sought my expert advice afte...more
Andrew
I read the original "Five Love Languages" when my wife and I were engaged. The "languages" were a helpful framework for me to understand how to love someone long-term. The original book also taught me something about myself: which "love language" I naturally speak and naturally expect to be spoken to me.

Now, years later, I listened to this "men's edition" and found it to be just as helpful and that the "languages" have indeed played a role in my marriage.

If you're looking for practical ideas ab...more
Giju Abraham
It's a book that I put off reading for a long time and I regret that decision. Gary Chapman so clearly brings out some essentials about love that will help every individual whether married or not. The book helps one think about the many experiences in life and then understand why things did not turn out too well. The author offers a number of relevant examples that we can relate to and also offers simple steps/actions that one can take to improve the quality of relationships.

The book helps one r...more
Nick
I thought I knew what my love language was before reading this book but I was wrong. I actually have TWO primary languages. I wasn't even aware that the second one was there, and was shocked to find out that the one I didn't know about was my primary language! For that realization alone the book was worth reading. The insights into Michelle's languages, and my acting on those insights, has made Michelle feel more loved and me feel more love toward her.
Grayson Key
A great book for self-discovery that offers help and hope for the future. Chapman's perspective of love through the eyeglass of Scripture points out ingenious Truth that was there for us all along. Whether you are single or married, dating or divorced, this book will offer you tools to love and be loved better.
Belal Khan
Excellent book on understanding the fundamentals of how to engage with your spouse and foster love beyond the early blissful couple years. The book outlines how people are wired differently and we make the mistake of treating others the way we'd like to be treated. What fills your "love bucket" isn't what necessarily fills your spouse's.

First step is understanding what your spouse's primary love language is. There are five: touch, words of affirmation, gifts, spending time, and acts of service....more
BeguileThySorrow...
It was ok, and the concept of " love languages" makes sense. But I didn't feel like I learned anything ground-breaking or particularly special. I also felt like it was a bit old fashioned and biased toward a Christian perspective. However, the book is pretty good at not knocking you over the head with constant religious references so it isn't that bad. I just personally wasn't moved by anything in it. I did think it was funny how at the end ( I listened to the eaudiobook) Dr Chapman shares how h...more
Kimbolimbo
I think this edition might be my favorite. I read the original version many years ago when I was in a failing marriage. It was great but I read it a bit too late to help out my marriage but it did help me understand love better. Last year I read the Singles edition, it was even better because I was no longer married and the book didn't dwell on unhappy marriages or marriage successes so I didn't have to relive pain that I had buried away. Now, I have read this edition and I think it is excellent...more
Tim
Typical self-help story (with a typical, though understated evangelical background most of the time), one solution (there are five different love languages - words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch), flavor it with personal stories, and serve. But because it is simple and straightforward and does not claim too much for its ideas (hope for better understanding and relating to your spouse and family) it is really quite useful. Probably helpful that its...more
JC
This should be a must read for everyone prior to marriage or within the first year of marriage. So fascinating to learn about how different people are loved and how to express that love. this is a book that should be on every person's bookshelf and that they're constantly referencing.

It took me to the end of the book to figure out what my love language is but I know for sure now and I really understand myself better now. Also, I was pretty shocked to learn my wife's language - even after 5 year...more
Joseph Draschil
Seems like one of those books that everyone needs to read.
Anthony
This book was pretty eye opening in the way we express our love to each other and how one person may be thinking they are expressing it but the other person still feels unloved. I really saw how I was lacking and why Kelly would get mad at me at times. It just is a completely different way of looking at this type of thing. I would recommend this to any person or couple who feels they are not being heard or loved. The other person might be trying to say I love you but you just can’t hear it.
Loretta
I wasn't sure I would like this book, but I did. It was very interesting, easy to understand and gain good ideas from. It is helpful for any realtionship - spouse, child, friend...although the author has books on each of those scenarios. It is best if you and the other party you have the relationship with take the tests at the end of the book, but you are probably able to figure them out on your own. My husband and I discussed it and many couples in our group read it together.
Jason
Mar 30, 2008 Jason rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: everyone
Recommended to Jason by: Mara Bliss
The book is a nice quick read; it's very easy to understand with just enough anecdotal narrative. Although it may not express many concepts the average reader would find new, it does help organize ones thoughts efficiently. With a clearer understanding of those things which we just assume we "know", our ability to grow and nuture our relationships (all of them) is critically enhanced. I recommend it to anyone who has relationships... which is everyone.
Cheryl
I've read the normal version of this book, but I found this version also on my shelf. I was going to suggest my hubby read this version but found myself devouring it. It's a fantastic book and I always find myself learning good things whenever I read these fantastic books. Excellent series of books and I am always a better person for having read them. So if you need to improve your spouse, read this book! lol
Flow Wampfler
Although a pretty simple read, this book does a good job of putting into words things you may have thoughtor felt but couldn't really express to yourself. None of the author's ideas are all that novel, but they are organized well and still may provide some insight into your or your partner's style of love. My one warning about this book is to read it while you're in a relationship, not soon afterward.
Michelle
Alright... I'm not reading the "Men's Edition" and the book cover is purple but whatever. This is the one I could find that is actually the title (once again leaving out the "Men's Edition"). Uh!

After finishing this book, I've realized alot about how people need to be loved and want that acceptance. I find myself trying to figure out what people's love languages are now. Its pretty cool!
Ethan
It's good. This is probably a very important book. It's deceptively simple, but I think probably the best relationship advice you can get. Basically: find out what specifically you can do to make your spouse feel loved and then do it. Don't guess, ask. I knocked off a star because they author only tells you success stories, which makes it feel like a sales pitch for a magic elixir.
Sally
I think every newly-wed couple should read this on their honeymoon to prepare them for what happens after they stop being twitter-pated. I thought the suggestions were practical and usable. The only fault I have with the book is that he only writes of successes. I would have liked to read about at least one time that discovering the love language and following the suggestions didn't work.
Noah
The book contains many great examples. This will make a difference in how well you understand the needs of those in your life.
Lee Hopper
May 11, 2011 Lee Hopper rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: couples, husbands, wives
Recommended to Lee by: Rex Ovire
This is a brilliant book, great for any couple, married or not yet married. It will help you show love to your partner in a way that they will understand it. It is aimed at married couples, but I am glad that I have read this before I am married so that the transition from the 'in love' state to the 'love' state will be an easy transition. Would defiantly recommend.
GreenRig
Jun 08, 2014 GreenRig rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Husbands
Shelves: psychology
Chapman has written different versions of the Five Love Languages, and this book is specially written for any husband who want to improve their relationship with their wife. Whether you are getting married or already in a marriage for several years, I strongly believe this book will improve your relationship with your wife.
Christopher
Great thought process and observation that we give and receive love in different ways. Though... there might be more than five, and the five might be somewhat interwoven.. which I didn't feel he addressed as well. Also, the test could have been better.

But overall... high marks (especially from the Russian judge ;) hehe
Alex
Loved this book. I read it fairly quickly and it was an easy read. It really opened my eyes to how we should love someone and what I may have been doing incorrectly with my wife. I haven't started trying it full on yet, but I'm sure I will see great results. Definitely recommend this book to anyone!
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Gary Chapman has traveled extensively around the world challenging couples to pursue healthy, growing marriages. His first book, Toward a Growing Marriage (Moody, 1979, 1996), began as an informal resource he gave to couples with whom he was counseling. Once officially published, this book became a blessing to thousands of people and helped launch Gary’s popular “Toward a Growing Marriage” seminar...more
More about Gary Chapman...
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate The Five Love Languages of Children The Five Love Languages for Singles The Heart of the 5 Love Languages (Abridged Gift-Sized Version) Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

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“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender.” 0 likes
“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline.” 0 likes
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