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20th out of 127 books
—
15 voters
Not Becoming My Mother: and Other Things She Taught Me Along the Way
by
Ruth Reichl
Bestselling author Ruth Reichl examines her mother's life, giving voice to the universal unarticulated truth that we are grateful not to be our mothers
In Not Becoming My Mother, bestselling author Ruth Reichl embarks on a clear-eyed, openhearted investigation of her mother's life, piecing together the journey of a woman she comes to realize she never really knew. Looking...more
In Not Becoming My Mother, bestselling author Ruth Reichl embarks on a clear-eyed, openhearted investigation of her mother's life, piecing together the journey of a woman she comes to realize she never really knew. Looking...more
Hardcover, 128 pages
Published
April 21st 2009
by Penguin Press HC, The
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Ruth Reichl’s memoirs of her journey into the culinary world as chef, restaurant owner, cookbook writer, and restaurant critic are hilarious and delicious treats I have enjoyed. “Not Becoming My Mother” is a different kind of memoir but it is familiarly sincere and honest. Originating from an acceptance speech she gave at an award ceremony, which coincided with the day her mother would have been a hundred years old, this book is dedicated to her mother, Miriam. It is an intimate and personal acc...more
This book was an angry outburst that did not justify itself. Reichl's conclusion in a nutshell: "look at how terrible this era was for women; to honor them we should not be wives or mothers or anything remotely similar to them."
I do think there is valid tragedy in what Reichl saw her mother suffer. But I also think her account of it was shallow and insufficient to make the broad claims that she did. Out of a box full of original letters, the reader only sees a few select sentences. I wish Reich...more
I do think there is valid tragedy in what Reichl saw her mother suffer. But I also think her account of it was shallow and insufficient to make the broad claims that she did. Out of a box full of original letters, the reader only sees a few select sentences. I wish Reich...more
Checking in some books, I found the title very interesting. This also was my commitment to my daughter. That I would not repeat what my mother had done/and not done for and to me. I too have come to peace about my past, but there was a time, which as hard as I tried I was my Mother until I sought help and understanding. That is when the change took place. I could be what my daughter needed, emotionally strong, independent, loving, fair, confident and not to be afraid to say I'm sorry. I read thi...more
I enjoyed this book. The lesson within is one that comes with maturity. The author could not have written this book when she was younger because she did not see her mother or grandmother for who they were really. She did not understand their social realities. Putting the notes from her mother in historical context allowed her to shift personal paradigm and appreciate those very "quirks" that so turned her off before.
Frankly, this book opened my own eyes and heart to the possibility that I do not...more
Frankly, this book opened my own eyes and heart to the possibility that I do not...more
I absolutely LOVED Ruth Reichl's book "Garlic and Sapphires" so I thought a memoir would be interesting. I especially liked the idea of a book that discusses Ruth's mother, since she "became" her mother during her restaurant critic days as a means of disguising herself. This audiobook, narrated by the author, is a lovely but slightly disturbing look into the often difficult mother/daughter relationship. So often there is a dichotomy of feelings between mothers and daughters - intense love and ad...more
This is a book about a girl who never got along with her mother completely, and really did get to know what exactly was going on in her mothers head until she read through a box on her now deads mother 100th birthday that was filled with letters and a journal that her mother kept. Her grandparents had always pressured her mother to be someone who she didn't want to be, and she never put up a fight and complied with their every ask. Her mother always wanted to be a doctor, but her grandparents to...more
In Not Becoming My Mother, bestselling author Ruth Reichl embarks on a clear-eyed, openhearted investigation of her mother's life, piecing together the journey of a woman she comes to realize she never really knew. Looking to her mother's letters and diaries, Reichl confronts the painful transition her mother made from a hopeful young woman to an increasingly unhappy older one and realizes the tremendous sacrifices she made to make sure her daughter's life would not be as disappointing as her ow...more
I downloaded this book to my Kindle Fire...paid $16.95! This was a really short book though. I'm sort of ticked that Amazon is starting to charge so much just to download a book! But other than that, this was an interesting read, and a good one for mothers of children.
The book points out how bright women can become unhappy is they are directed into the wife/mother track at the expense of their aptitudes. Here's a few quotes from the book:
"Idle aptitudes cause restlessness and may detract from a...more
The book points out how bright women can become unhappy is they are directed into the wife/mother track at the expense of their aptitudes. Here's a few quotes from the book:
"Idle aptitudes cause restlessness and may detract from a...more
I must have read something to recommend this book in the depths of blogland, and thought I would give it a go. When I got it out from the local library, the librarian said that she had read her earlier books and was a good author, always a good start.
So this little tome didn't take long to read, it is a short little 112 pages. She is primarily a food writer/critic/editor, but in this book she talks about her relationship with her mother. I always enjoy tales of growing up, and I think the memoir...more
So this little tome didn't take long to read, it is a short little 112 pages. She is primarily a food writer/critic/editor, but in this book she talks about her relationship with her mother. I always enjoy tales of growing up, and I think the memoir...more
This short remembrance of the author's mother is, for me, sad. In the setting of the 50s and 60s in the USA (just before women were "liberated") the mom was having a tough go of it because she was forced (by her parents and society - much better to blame these than to blame oneself or not to blame anyone or anything) into the role of housewife and mother. She desired to be a doctor as was her father. Thus, the daughter feels this explains all the odd quirks and "suffering" of the mother, i.e., t...more
Another book that I'm pretty sure I went in with the wrong attitude on. Ruth Reichl, the author, is a pretty infamous food writer in today's world, and since none of her books on food were on sale, I settled on this one, because I figured it couldn't be half bad. Well, I was sort of wrong. It's not a bad book, I was just very taken aback by what I read. Another short story that I finished in a few hours, it takes you through different lessons that Ruth's mother taught her, most of which were by...more
This is a delicious book about real, brave and true women who did not start out that way.
In a box of memorabilia, Ruth Reichl reluctantly uncovers the truth about her deceased mother, Miriam. As a young woman, Miriam’s father called her homely and predicted spinsterhood – but Miriam married twice and had children. Still, Miriam pined for a career that would reveal her true self.
Without something to engage her mind, Miriam’s manic-depression took hold and Ruth recounts her mother’s near-poisoning...more
In a box of memorabilia, Ruth Reichl reluctantly uncovers the truth about her deceased mother, Miriam. As a young woman, Miriam’s father called her homely and predicted spinsterhood – but Miriam married twice and had children. Still, Miriam pined for a career that would reveal her true self.
Without something to engage her mind, Miriam’s manic-depression took hold and Ruth recounts her mother’s near-poisoning...more
(Later republished with a new Afterword as "For you mom--finally!"
A so-so book,Ruth Reichlfinally writing directly about her mother, with understanding and compassion for her mother's bipolar life.
It's a thin book, though--small. I wish it were fatter--because I'm at the end of her memoirs (I think), because I wanted more foundation stories about life with this mother (and her father), the effect on Ruth. More, more stories. I loved her revising her old Mother Tales (what does she call them?), n...more
A so-so book,Ruth Reichlfinally writing directly about her mother, with understanding and compassion for her mother's bipolar life.
It's a thin book, though--small. I wish it were fatter--because I'm at the end of her memoirs (I think), because I wanted more foundation stories about life with this mother (and her father), the effect on Ruth. More, more stories. I loved her revising her old Mother Tales (what does she call them?), n...more
Very short book. I LOVED "Tender at the Bone", but this was a little disappointing. In "Tender at the Bone" Ruth Reichl tells her life story. Her unique childhood filled with a crazy mother, interesting people, unusual situations, etc. A lot of the stories were based on her mother who because of her mental illness created a crazy atmosphere and life for Ruth. THIS book is basically an apology to her mother for writing that book. Her mother died years ago, but Ruth always felt bad for sharing the...more
With this brief memoir, Ruth Reichl bestows the degree of forgiveness upon her mother that is only possible after death. Rifling through her mother's letters and scribbled notes, she softens her recollections of her mother, and her mother's many failures and disregard for the needs of her children and family are reinterpretted as attempts to teach her daughter not to be life her.
The author reflects upon her life with her mother, a woman whose crushing bitterness at not being allowed to become a...more
The author reflects upon her life with her mother, a woman whose crushing bitterness at not being allowed to become a...more
This book took me about an hour and a half to read. While Reichl isn't a great writer, she has an important story to tell, about generations of mothers and daughters. The main focus is her own mother, who suffered from mental illness and about whom Reichl has written scathingly before (I gathered; I haven't read her other books yet). On the day her mother would have turned 100, Reichl digs into a box of her mother's letters and diaries to discover her life. In the process, she reaches a new unde...more
Reichl's first two books (Tender at the Bone, Comfort Me With Apples) are definitely in my Top Twenty Favorite Books of All Time. Her third book was a huge disappointment to me, so I was wary of this one, unfortunately.
This book is far too slight to justify it as, erm, a book. It's really an extended essay. I think it's really such a rip-off to publish a tiny book with huge font and extra line spaces and then sell it as a hardcover, stand-alone book. Hmmph. I feel little books like Anna Quindlen...more
This book is far too slight to justify it as, erm, a book. It's really an extended essay. I think it's really such a rip-off to publish a tiny book with huge font and extra line spaces and then sell it as a hardcover, stand-alone book. Hmmph. I feel little books like Anna Quindlen...more
I never met a book by Ruth Reichl I haven’t loved, and my adoration continued with this book. Where others were hearty meals, Not Becoming My Mother was a deceptively simple snack. (I’m certain that Ms. Reichl, editor of Gourmet Magazine, would find a more elegant food analogy, but I, alas, am but a quick and dirty cook, though one who loves reading the work of educated ones—like Ruth Reichl)
In her previous books, the author consistently folded her cooking and restaurant reviewing skills into pe...more
In her previous books, the author consistently folded her cooking and restaurant reviewing skills into pe...more
What a bust!
Ruth Reichl, who is editor of Gourmet magazine, has written three other memoirs on life/love/food, two of which I've read and really enjoyed. However, her newest pseudo-memoir about her mother's issues, I found terrible.
Rather than being anecdotal and witty, like the other two I've read, this mini-book is a slapped-together attempt to be sentimental about her mother's "gift." This gift being teaching daughter Ruth NOT to be like her mother, who was emotionally battered by HER mothe...more
Ruth Reichl, who is editor of Gourmet magazine, has written three other memoirs on life/love/food, two of which I've read and really enjoyed. However, her newest pseudo-memoir about her mother's issues, I found terrible.
Rather than being anecdotal and witty, like the other two I've read, this mini-book is a slapped-together attempt to be sentimental about her mother's "gift." This gift being teaching daughter Ruth NOT to be like her mother, who was emotionally battered by HER mothe...more
Jul 30, 2009
Khaya
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Ruth Reichl fans; those interested in a light read about women's issues
Shelves:
memoirs,
situation-not-a-story
Ruth Reichl's memoirs are always pleasant to read, although I do think their quality has steadily declined since Tender at the Bone Growing Up at the Table. This one was quick and easy and gave me a bit to think about, although I didn't entirely agree with Ruth's conclusions.
Basically, in this memoir which centers around Ruth's mother, Ruth describes her mother as part of a transitional generation of women -- women who were born too late to be totally occupied by the chores of running their hom...more
Basically, in this memoir which centers around Ruth's mother, Ruth describes her mother as part of a transitional generation of women -- women who were born too late to be totally occupied by the chores of running their hom...more
I really enjoyed this book. In it, Ruth writes about her mother- who is the focal point of some of her more ridiculous stories about growing up. I read this the week I went back to work full-time after the birth of my daughter, and I must admit, I was feeling really sorry for myself. However, this book was really a gift, because it speaks about how her mother was frustrated because although she wanted to be a doctor she was told if she did, she would never find a husband and that was a fate wors...more
I am reading this because my sister, Marie, enjoyed it so much. After reading the first five pages, I'm pretty sure I will too.
When I finished this book, I had simultaneous urges to call my sister, my mother and my daughter.
I'm a big fan of memoirs and especially when the writer reveals the relationship she had with her parents. I love that there was a box of letters, receipts, scraps of paper even with notes from her mother that Reichl finally sat down to read, and that she had to work up to i...more
When I finished this book, I had simultaneous urges to call my sister, my mother and my daughter.
I'm a big fan of memoirs and especially when the writer reveals the relationship she had with her parents. I love that there was a box of letters, receipts, scraps of paper even with notes from her mother that Reichl finally sat down to read, and that she had to work up to i...more
Miriam Reichl figures prominently in her daughter Ruth's food memoirs (Tender at the Bone, Comfort Me with Apples and Garlic and Sapphires), all of which are fantastic reads, so I was excited to pick up Reichl's newest book, Not Becoming My Mother. When I got it at the library last week, I was surprised at how small and light it was-- barely 100 small pages, and in truth, there's not much to it. It's a story we've heard before (or lived before): smart girl who wants to be a doctor and bows to cu...more
I should note that I had no idea who either of these women were when I found this at the library. I can see from the information here that Reichl is apparently a best selling author. I had no clue. This caught my eye because it was a slim book and that's it. I needed something short to read right then. When I saw it was a memoir and the photo of Reichl as a little girl with her Mother caught my eye I decided to give it a shot.
I don't regret it - it's a decent book. I would say that only people w...more
I don't regret it - it's a decent book. I would say that only people w...more
A brilliant and quick read, one of those things you need from time to time when you need a boost to get moving through a longer work.
Reichl is best known as the editor of the now defunct Gourmet magazine, a position she held for some years. Interestingly, "Gourmet" is never mentoned so much as alluded to in this brief but passionate and frequently entertaining memoir. The allusion is that if her (Reichl's) mother hadn't forsaken her own dreams and elected to live vicariously through her daughte...more
Reichl is best known as the editor of the now defunct Gourmet magazine, a position she held for some years. Interestingly, "Gourmet" is never mentoned so much as alluded to in this brief but passionate and frequently entertaining memoir. The allusion is that if her (Reichl's) mother hadn't forsaken her own dreams and elected to live vicariously through her daughte...more
Very one-dimensional book. Her experiences with her mother (and father, for that matter) left her fairly closed-minded about the possibilities available to women in our society. Instead of her mother's generation of well-educated women stuck at home in complete boredom, her perception is that women cannot possibly ever be happy and fulfilled without a lifelong career. Either perception limits women in my opinion. Women can do ANYTHING! Including staying home and teaching young minds. A woman can...more
Ruth Reichel's mother was nothing like my mom; she was about 10 or more years older than my mom, from a wealthy family, and suffered, unknowingly until late in life, from bi-polar disorder. But the sentiments expressed and the questions, answered and unanswered, about her mother's life (and by that I mean her internal life, not the family tree), are, I suspect, universal to my generation of daughters. The author's blessing is that her mother left her a legacy of notes, letters, and a diary writt...more
I has taken me a few days to write this review, it was impossible to write direct after finishing the book. I really like Reichl's other books, and I have laughed at her Mim tales but reading this 'look' at her mother was sad and often irritating. Reichl blames a generation for all her mother's problems, the truth is she was bi-polar and the period into which she was born was only to blame for not recognizing her problem, not for causing it. Throughout the book I compared my grandmother (born 2...more
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Mar 24, 2011
Anita
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
books-read-in-2011,
memoir
I started this book while sitting in B&N, drawn to the cover and title, only it was this book in paperback, with a different title and cover
, I finally borrowed this copy from the library and finished it up today.
Ruth Reichl writes about her mother, and the way she grew up, a young woman in the 1920's, a woman who wanted career and purpose, but was saddled with responsibilities of being a housewife and mother. Ruth discovers who her mom really was through her letters and notes that she left...more
, I finally borrowed this copy from the library and finished it up today.Ruth Reichl writes about her mother, and the way she grew up, a young woman in the 1920's, a woman who wanted career and purpose, but was saddled with responsibilities of being a housewife and mother. Ruth discovers who her mom really was through her letters and notes that she left...more
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Ruth Reichl is an American food writer, the editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine and culinary editor for the Modern Library.
Born to parents Ernst and Miriam (née Brudno), she was raised in New York City and spent time at a boarding school in Montreal. She attended the University of Michigan, where she met her first husband, the artist Douglas Hollis. She graduated in 1970 with a M.A. in art history...more
More about Ruth Reichl...
Born to parents Ernst and Miriam (née Brudno), she was raised in New York City and spent time at a boarding school in Montreal. She attended the University of Michigan, where she met her first husband, the artist Douglas Hollis. She graduated in 1970 with a M.A. in art history...more
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“...in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy. More important, ...it is never too late to find out how to do it.”
—
14 people liked it
“Growing up, I was utterly oblivious to the fact that Mom was teaching me all that. But I was instantly aware of her final lesson, which was hidden in her notes and leters. As I read them I began to understand that in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy. More important, Mom showed me that it is never too late to find out how to do it.”
—
7 people liked it
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Jun 15, 2010 03:03pm