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I am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It
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I am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It

4.24 of 5 stars 4.24  ·  rating details  ·  222 ratings  ·  33 reviews
Short stories and poems.
Paperback, 168 pages
Published 2009 by Paper Hero Press
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Aug 17, 2012 karen rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: pomes

you will be my friend until i say something to you in person that frightens you.

that's pretty much what you need to know going into this book. it is a collection of poetic musings by a bipolar writer that really captures the highs and the lows, and expresses them in a way that feels claustrophobic but also fresh and lovely, even when the subject matter does in fact become frightening

there are moments of desperate tenderness:

-i wish i were the person you imagine yourself to be because then you'd
Not so much a review, as a series of quotes from the book interspersed with some things comments, more out of an obligation to fill the space in between the quotes than out of any desire to communicate anything with anyone about myself or this book.

And I know different methods of self-destruction but none as intense as sitting still by myself.

I've got some mixed feelings about this book.

One on the one hand it's hilarious. And then I think about some recent things going on around these parts of g
Mike Kleine
I began reading a random page out loud and everyone in the room made faces. At first, they asked me if it was something I had written.

I said, "No." And then I added, "This is by Sam Pink, not me."

So they asked me, "Who the f*** is Sam Pink?"

And I said "Sam Pink is a new author I am trying out."

I read a couple more pages from the book and now all my friends want I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT.

I said "Yes," to them but really, I know I will never give them I AM GOING TO
Donald Armfield
You're walking by a cemetery, and you think, "oh yeah that's right"
When you read this Sam Pink book you start to say what the fuck am I reading. You read it aloud to someone and they look at you like you are brushing your teeth with a toliet brush.

A hope for a bus to kill you, Will you move in with Sam Pink? An incomplete list of things to be reincarnated as. To envy the moon with such anger. Trips to the library but not for books. Genital Mutilation with an unwanted item. Sam Pink is a bizarre
I've interviewed Sam Pink, I've exchanged several e-mails with Sam Pink, I've read his stories on-line, I have read his blog and I have even read marveled at his artwork, yet as I read through his debut collection, I don't know if I know anything more about Mr. Pink then when I started. Much of his book is written in first person, but I find myself asking what person. At first glance this is a series of surface exchanges, mundane encounters filtered through a slightly damaged mind, but as the br ...more
Ani Smith
It's the kind of thing you need to read a few times, like old poetry, only less boring. Seemingly disconnected short bits, long bits, prose poetry, plays. But not that you feel jostled from one thing to the next - more like thinking, where this thought naturally but unpredictably maybe leads to that one. Engrossing imagery that sticks to the inside of your eyelids. Darkness handled with the innocence, lightness, the awakening curiosity of an eight year-old boy. One of those precocious ones that ...more
El caos se llama Sam Pink.
El origen de la destrucción se llama Sam Pink.
La entropía más sórdida con la que me he cruzado alguna vez en mi vida se llama Sam Pink.

Este chico hila fino con agujas oxidadas. Y el resultado es un tejido con motivos hipnóticos que produce urticaria al contacto con la piel -cualquier tipo de piel-. A veces da en en la diana al diseccionar la soledad propia de cualquiera que ande perdido en una gran ciudad. Pero también marea. Y salta de rama en rama sin lógica alguna.
James Dunphy
After the first story my reaction was "WHAT THE FLYING FUCK". It was beautiful, and that feeling came to me after almost every short short story in this collection. Reading Sam Pink makes me feel warm, ugly, alive, reptilian, exposed, and true.

If you've ever read the fantastic indy comic Johnny the Homicidal Maniac you know that Johnny updates a "Die-ary" periodically. This IS Die-ary in all it's disgusting isolated glory. I'm going to be reading this over and over and over again probably until
Jason Jordan
Sam Pink has a way with words, to put it mildly. Much of I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It is humorous due to its outright zaniness. Pink's lines about intestines are especially funny--"I will donate my organs provided that my large intestine (undamaged) will be used as a snorkel" (37), and "I bet a large intestine filled with marbles would be a good or even great weapon" (41). But, I do wish there were more stories a la "7 Versions of the Same Version" and "Conversation. ...more
Demi Abromaits
Sam Pink's writing makes me feel alien and human simultaneously, over-complicated and then simmered down and poured into the mold one of Pink's observant blurbs. For me, Sam Pink's style encapsulates the dynamic, contradictory nature of man-- the burdening desire for purpose and intimacy wrapped in the innumerable, frivolous details that populate daily life. This book is filled with many sentiments you will share and many more that you won't, but will collectively reminds readers that life's rea ...more
I wanted to like this--I bought four of Sam Pink's books in one go (thinking that my love for Scott McClanahan was enough of a reason) and this is the first one I read. To me, this book was mostly worthless. There are some great moments, like Roller Hockey, Apartment, An Incomplete List of the Things I'd Like to Be Reincarnated As, and maybe even Today I hope a Bus Accidentally Kills Me. Sam Pink is, at his best, an enormously clever writer grasping at his own discontent and self-loathing, but o ...more
Ali Leopard
I love this book for this reason: the way Pink can describe that indescribable feeling. The first time I read this work, I thought I was missing the point. It seemed like a jumbled mess, but maybe that is the whole point. Through Pink's scrambled thoughts, you can feel and relate to his depression and his belief that he will never be happy or make others happy... things you already feel, but feel alone in. I am not saying the point of his work is to make you feel less alone in your sadness, beca ...more
M.E. Walker
This book was simultaneously effed up and hilarious. Worth the read. I've always wanted to know the thoughts of an homicidal maniac, and now I will no longer have to wonder. Is it bad that I've shared some of these thoughts...haha?
Tyler Crumrine
I am continually amazed by how much Sam Pink has to say and the clarity by which he says it. These stories and poems are beautiful and terrifying. The one-act in the middle is also very stage-able and makes me want to ask Sam again if he's sure he doesn't want to try any more play writing. Recently read a blog post saying me may be giving up writing all together. Reading this makes me hope even more that that's not true.
Emily Joyce
While I respected what Pink did with this collection, I can't say I particularly enjoyed it... at least not simple "reading as entertainment" enjoyment. The visceral violent imagery, the grotesquerie have woven a semi-terrifying narrator, moreso that deep down some of that violence resonates in me.
Kelly O'Dowd
Only read this if you like beating dead horses.

And you're sitting in a tree, watching people run away from your darts.

And sometimes you hate yourself.

And most of the time you hate everyone else.

And you have a clone, cloned just for food.
Inventive and clever, but gets a little schticky after a while. Not sure if it really holds together as a book in terms of concept, structure, pacing, etc. Plenty a chuckle in it for those with a certain sense of humor (as indicative in the book's title).
If I put it short: It was disgusting but sometimes also beautiful in a melancholic way. It was uneasy for the mind. I kind of hated it and liked it at the same time. It also made me laugh a couple of times. I don't know anymore.
Stay free with thermocontrol is a pretty good invention but this book keeps my thermo in even more control. If the 7 habits of highly effective people was available in book form, it would be this book.
Mar 12, 2009 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: my grandmother.
Recommended to Heather by: barry graham.
I think what I liked most about this book was when I felt like I was just going to the mailbox to get the mail, and then the front lawn opened up and I fell in, this book was what saved me.

A group of flash fiction explosions centered on body parts and bodily fluids, dead animals and Katie Couric. That, and the inability to connect with the world, with others and with oneself.
Hard one to review. I was amused, repulsed, interested and what else. I can't say anything else. I'm sorry.
In case you hadn't already noticed, I have a tendency to purchase books because the titles amuse me.
This is Mario Bros Three. The whole way. The whole time. Raccoon tales make it work and Sam Pink spits fire.
Jonathan Lee B.
I am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It is a bag of unwrapped candy bars.
Dea K P
to put it simply, this book makes me feel very uncomfortable in a very good way.
Andrew Stone
I absolutely love this book. This is Sam Pink at his best. This is a must read.
Sam Pink, where have you been all of my life?
Christina Wilder
3.5 stars, review to come.
Jul 31, 2013 Anya marked it as to-read
Shelves: gotta-have-em
Oh Book, how I ache for thee.
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Sam Pink is the author of The No Hellos Diet, Hurt Others, I Am Going to Clone Myself Then Kill the Clone and Eat It, Frowns Need Friends Too, and the cult hit Person. His writing has been published widely in print and on the internet, and also in other languages. He lives in Chicago, where he plays in the band Depressed Woman.
More about Sam Pink...
Person Rontel The No Hellos Diet Hurt Others Witch Piss

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“And I saw my reflection in a lake and I waited for it to freeze a little bit so I could break it with my boot.” 76 likes
“My ideal date would involve painful silence. My ideal date wouldn't involve me.” 62 likes
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