The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship

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The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship

3.3 of 5 stars 3.30 · rating details · 7,492 ratings · 1,686 reviews

From the coauthor of the million-copy bestseller The Last Lecture comes a moving tribute to female friendships, with the inspiring story of eleven girls and the ten women they became.

Meet the Ames Girls: eleven childhood friends who formed a special bond growing up in Ames, Iowa. As young women, they moved to eight different states, yet managed to maintain an enduring fri...more

Hardcover, 297 pages

Published April 21st 2009 by Gotham

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Mar 15, 2009 Sfdreams rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: every woman

Shelves: reviewed

I have wanted to read this book for a long time, so was very excited to win an advance reading copy on Goodreads. The book did not disappoint! I read it in a day and a half—I couldn’t put it down. I debated whether to give this book 4 or 5 stars, and finally decided to give it five stars, since I felt like this book would stay with me for awhile.

Read the blurb about the book on Goodreads—I won’t repeat the information, and it gives a good overview of the book. I was born seven years before these...more I have wanted to read this book for a long time, so was very excited to win an advance reading copy on Goodreads. The book did not disappoint! I read it in a day and a half—I couldn’t put it down. I debated whether to give this book 4 or 5 stars, and finally decided to give it five stars, since I felt like this book would stay with me for awhile.

Read the blurb about the book on Goodreads—I won’t repeat the information, and it gives a good overview of the book. I was born seven years before these women (yup—do the math—I turn 53 later this year!), and I was born in Indiana, another “corn” state, so I could relate on many levels with these women. I also grew up in a university town, Bloomington—home of Indiana University. However, I believe Ames might be a smaller town than Bloomington—at least it appeared to be when I was there when my niece by marriage was wed there several years ago.

This book made me cry at points and laugh out loud at times. It was written in an easy-reading style that made me feel as if I was there. The only parts where I felt the presence of the author was when he quoted statistics about friendship. I wished the book had pictures of the women—I wanted to look at their pictures as I was reading the book. Perhaps the finished copy will include photographs—I hope so. If not, go to www.girlsfromAmes.com. Photos of the girls then and now are posted there, along with a video presentation set to what sounds like Rod Stewart singing “If Not for You.”

I tried and found aspects of myself in the women, although no one woman reminded me of myself totally. Probably the closest fit is Sally, spiced with bits of Karla, Jane, Marilyn and Kelly. I did not have a group of friends like they did, however, and the longing and envy I felt was overwhelming. I always had one or two very good friends at a time throughout my childhood through college and into adulthood.

I regret that I have not kept in better contact with my old friends from grade school and junior high—this book makes me want to reconnect with them. However, we are very different people than we were then, and although we still care for one another, we never seem to find the time to get together anymore. One of my friends from grade school (actually her father and my father were friends!) lives in Bloomington again as well, but our lives seem to keep us from getting together. I last saw her at my cousin’s funeral several years ago, and I mostly just get “hellos” from her when my Dad sees her at WalMart. I have three very close friends today (four if you count my partner). I consider them more like family than friends. Two of them I met as an adult. The other was the best friend of my little sister, and I knew her from grade school on. We did many things together when I was in college (and they were in high school) and lived together in a cooperative dorm room my last year of college. She and I ended up going into the same profession, and trained the same year, so we actually became friends ourselves.

One of my pet peeves in reading books is the number of typos and grammatical errors that slip through. Even though this is an uncopyedited manuscript, I only found two minor typos: a word that obviously should have been “scared” by the context was printed as “sacred” and once when a small word (I think the word “in”) was dropped. If there were more, I didn’t catch them. Very impressive in this day and age of spellcheck!!

If you’ve made it this far into the review—Thank you! I didn’t mean to write this much, but I really loved this book, and I think you will too! I only hope there will be a follow-up book in about ten years so that I can catch up with their lives again. (Are you listening, Jeffrey?)
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Mar 23, 2009 Lisa Vegan rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: women and teen girls

Shelves: gr-author, advance-copy, reviewed, biography, non-fiction, altta

I was able to borrow this from a long distance friend (thank you Terri!) who won it from Goodreads First Reads giveaway program. It’s an advance readers’ copy, paperback, 317 pages. I’ve grown addicted to ARCs since joining Goodreads, my preference being to read actual to be published copies sufficiently ahead of the official publication date.

Except for the front cover, there are no photos included so I’m very glad my friend included information about the web site http://www.girlsfromames.com/ i...more I was able to borrow this from a long distance friend (thank you Terri!) who won it from Goodreads First Reads giveaway program. It’s an advance readers’ copy, paperback, 317 pages. I’ve grown addicted to ARCs since joining Goodreads, my preference being to read actual to be published copies sufficiently ahead of the official publication date.

Except for the front cover, there are no photos included so I’m very glad my friend included information about the web site http://www.girlsfromames.com/ in her review. There are at least some photos there, and I printed them out and referred to them as I read. When I read memoirs, it really helps me to see photos and not have to imagine people’s appearances. This is one book I might have appreciated more if I’d not read an ARC. I hope the hardcover first edition copy is full of photos, of the 11 girls but also of their family members and others in their lives.

I wasn’t enamored of the format of the book at first. It was difficult for me to become acquainted with each of the eleven girls when so much was written about their relatives and ancestors, but I eventually saw the wisdom of the author’s decision to write the book this way. Although it took me longer to remember each of them, it was a richer experience once I was able to do so.

Also, it turns out I was most interested in some of the peripheral people.

I was most deeply touched by the story of Christie, the first child born to any the Ames girls. (This book was only a 3 star book for me until that part. I continued to enjoy the book more and more all the way through the postscripts.) I also really liked Marilyn’s father. Elwood Koelder, who was connected with Marilyn’s brother, was an interesting story line. A few of the events that happened in the most recent past were of most interest to me.

I had mixed feelings about these individuals and their group. They are ten years younger than me but, possibly given they came of age in the small town Midwest and I in a big city on the west coast, they seemed old fashioned, albeit racy. I ended up liking some more than others, but liked some aspect of each of them, although they felt sufficiently different from most of the friends I have that it was a slight stretch to think of being friends with any/most of them. Also, as I got further and further into the book I understood the friendship(s) better.

When their friendships were forming, I’m sure these girls would have considered me extremely backward and I would not have been welcome in their group.

Reading this book is bound to make women and girls think about their female friendships.

I am lucky to have a few continuing overlapping groups of women friends from my childhood/adolescence/early adulthood, made all the more precious to me because of my lack of family. My groups consist of no more than four each and the most intimacy comes from the one on one relationships. I am somewhat in awe of these 10-11 women staying in contact as they have, especially considering geographical distance, families, their differences.(less)

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Mar 30, 2012 Ann rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, 2000s, biography, female-relationships, high-school, memoir, non-fiction, small-town-america, women-s-lives-and-relationships, iowa, friendship

I'm reading this purely because my sister DESPISED it and I have to know why.

Oh. My. Gosh. I rarely read books that I can't understand how they were published. I usually can see some audience for it or some purpose they fulfill. This book, however, is just dreadful. It had to be published solely on the author's reputation for The Last Lecture, because no self-respecting publisher would agree to print this. I read this because my sister needed someone to make fun of it with her, and I foresee it...more I'm reading this purely because my sister DESPISED it and I have to know why.

Oh. My. Gosh. I rarely read books that I can't understand how they were published. I usually can see some audience for it or some purpose they fulfill. This book, however, is just dreadful. It had to be published solely on the author's reputation for The Last Lecture, because no self-respecting publisher would agree to print this. I read this because my sister needed someone to make fun of it with her, and I foresee it as a punchline to many jokes in the future.

Here's what makes it so awful:

The writing is RIDICULOUSLY bad. Honestly, probably some of the worst writing I've ever experienced. It's completely saccharine and overly folksy. He even stoops to write, while one of the girls is commenting on a joke that the only good thing to come out of Iowa is I-35, "I-35, and of course, the girls from Ames." UGH!!!!! It's like he has a crush on this group of women and is trying to kiss up to them. He also frequently ends a paragraph with phrases like "So that's why she made that choice", or "so that's how she knew it was the right thing." Who writes like that once you get past junior high? Probably plenty of people, but they don't become PUBLISHED AUTHORS.

There is no rhyme or reason to the organization of the book. Why do some of the girls get full chapters, and others are barely mentioned? Why randomly insert a brief story about their fear of having to kiss a black boy during a game of Spin the Bottle and the "racial and sexual tension" they felt, and then never bring up race again in the entire book? He certainly wants to make Ames into something really formative to the girls, but the reality is that they all left after high school and don't have much connection with it anymore. There's little to make this narrative distinct to Ames, but the author clearly wants to think that there is because he pounds the Ames angle over and over again. And there's nothing about it that makes it interesting. The writing isn't skilled enough to evoke a wonderful sense of place, and therefore all the places mentioned are just meaningless and boring.

The women in the book may be educated, funny, smart, kind, and wonderful, but you'd never know it by the writing. Sometimes the author would mention that one of them had a Ph.D. or something else really notable, but their achievements are barely touched on. I was actually a bit surprised that they went to college because he makes them all seem completely shallow and only interested in drinking in cornfields. I thought at first that I just don't have anything in common with them, and they represent the kind of woman that annoys me, but I think the fault lies with the author. There is no sense of the depth of these women, and he often focuses on really terrible, catty things they do. And why do we want to read about women that were considered cliquish, and even turned against one of their own members? (Can you imagine being the woman who disliked them in high school, being contacted by a reporter who is writing a book about the people that excluded you for a book about friendship? Lame.) I know that friendship is a complex thing, but I didn't get that there was anything significant or remarkable about this group. Which brings me to...

WHY ON EARTH IS THERE A BOOK ABOUT THESE WOMEN?!?!?!?! NOTHING HAPPENS!!! Absolutely anyone could have a book like this written about them and their friends. I could write a book about my childhood friends and call it "The Girls from Tempe" and it would be just as compelling. I could write a book about my current group of friends and call it "The Girls from Bloomington" and it would be a billion times more interesting. We all want to believe that we are significant and we "all have a story to tell", but sometimes it's good to realize that's just not the case. It's like hearing about someone else's family jokes, and they're totally not interesting or funny. Most of us don't have lives that deserve a book. However, with a better writer, I think these women probably could have had an interesting book written about them. They certainly have experienced some tragic events, but so has everyone else. Therefore, the writer needs to trick you into wanting to know about them. I've read memoirs about the sad things that very often happen to regular people (divorce, death, illness, etc.), but they seem interesting because the writer adds to it through the writing itself. Jeffrey Zaslow isn't good enough to pull that off.

I hated this. HATED. I would never have picked it up on my own, and I hated every moment of reading it. I hated that the author wanted to believe that the phrase "the girls from Ames" meant something, like they were the only women the city had produced or like they had done anything significant. Instead, we're presented with a book full of boring personal memories about people we don't care about in a place we don't care about, and are told it will speak to women everywhere. Please.

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Nov 29, 2009 Sara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Sara by: Review or ad somewhere

Shelves: 2009, non-fiction

3.5 stars. Written by the co-author of The Last Lecture, which is why I think this book drew my attention in the first place, The Girls from Ames chronicles the friendship between eleven girls from (where else?) Ames, Iowa, from their childhood to adulthood today. The story is definitely inspiring, hearing how these women have managed to create and maintain such strong bonds of friendship. There are stories from when they were young, stories from when they were in high school, then college, and...more 3.5 stars. Written by the co-author of The Last Lecture, which is why I think this book drew my attention in the first place, The Girls from Ames chronicles the friendship between eleven girls from (where else?) Ames, Iowa, from their childhood to adulthood today. The story is definitely inspiring, hearing how these women have managed to create and maintain such strong bonds of friendship. There are stories from when they were young, stories from when they were in high school, then college, and then as adults, when they are career- or family-focused. The author intersperses the narrative about their friendship with some studies and statistics about friendships in general, mentioning how friendships between women that have lasted until they're 40 years old are statistically likely to last for the rest of their lives.

Since the book is about eleven women whose friendship has lasted for multiple decades, there is obviously not enough room to tell the story of every little thing they went through together, and so the focus is on particularly major events in their lives. Some of the stories were not the most flattering, showing the darker (and less appealing) side of girls that can sometimes crop up (both in their circle of friendship and with outsiders who resented their clique); however, the majority of the stories were about instances where they helped each other through tough situations, such as illness, divorce, and death. It was really nice to read about how their bonds with each other helped and the ways they offered support.

Now, for my complaints. I was glad that the author included a "cheat sheet" near the beginning, with the girls' names, photos, and a short bio, helping me keep them straight. There were eleven main characters - not including the girls' family members - and it took me a while to remember who each one was. I also felt like some of the girls were given a lot more page time, as many of the stories focused on their lives, while a few of the girls were barely mentioned. After finishing the book, I feel like I have a good sense of the lives of maybe half the Ames girls; the others remain a mystery, despite their inclusion in the tale overall. Finally, although I enjoyed reading the book, it felt like something was lacking, though I can't put my finger on it. The story of friendship was nice, but I'm not sure the book overall provided a reason for the importance of focusing on these particular women. Maybe I just wanted to see something more, like there was room to delve deeper that was ignored. I'm glad I read this, and I certainly enjoyed it, but it's not one that I'd reread. (less)

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Apr 13, 2009 Monika rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

update: finally got a chance to sit down and read, and finish this book. overall, it was a great great read, and made me wish that growing up i had so many girlfreinds who would stand by me regardless of anything. Sure they disagreed sometimes, but overall, they we're the true epitamy of best friends.
Great, great read! SO glad i got this as a first reads!

update: So I started the book last night, and put it down @ page 140 because it was really late, and I had to get to bed---otherwise I think I...more

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Jul 26, 2011 Judy rated it 5 of 5 stars

I love this book so far, it is non-fiction and is about 11 girls who are now in there mid forties and have remained friends for decades. Their stories of life and friendship... it is wonderful and I can't wait to read more. Gotta love a real story about women and their friendships thru the years as well as remaining close.

Ok I have finished it I really enjoyed this book. I think all u girls and many in book club will as well. If u want to borrow it just let me know.

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Mar 17, 2009 Katherine marked it as to-read

Shelves: not-owned

This came up as a "featured book," on my page; it's probably just coincidence that it's about my hometown! Not necessarily a book I'd go for otherwise, but I have to read anything about Ames.

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Mar 28, 2009 Leigh rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

The Girls from Ames is a great story. There are few women who could read this book and not be a little jealous of the love and support these ten women have provided each other for decades. Female friendships are truly unique, and the girls from Ames have graciously opened theirs to the world. This book is an honest look at both the joys and the heartache, the laughter and the tears. I truly enjoyed this book, and in turn value my own friendships that much more.

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Jan 10, 2012 Jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: sociology, non-fiction

From my blog...[return]The Girls From Ames by Jeffery Zaslow is an in-depth and intriguing look at the social and behavioral traits that brought these particular eleven girls together as friends, maintained their friendships spanning decades, states, marriages, divorces, and even death. While they were a unit, each girl had at least one defined role. To fully understand the Ames girls, Zaslow takes an in-depth look at the beginning of each girl's family life and how their families impacted their...more From my blog...[return]The Girls From Ames by Jeffery Zaslow is an in-depth and intriguing look at the social and behavioral traits that brought these particular eleven girls together as friends, maintained their friendships spanning decades, states, marriages, divorces, and even death. While they were a unit, each girl had at least one defined role. To fully understand the Ames girls, Zaslow takes an in-depth look at the beginning of each girl's family life and how their families impacted their personalities. Of the eleven, only ten remain; although the women say when they get together, Sheila is with them in spirit. The girls are different enough to make their group interesting, and they credit their willingness to talk and listen to each other for their long friendship and admit in their 20s and 30s they had a difficult time connecting, which holds true with the science behind friendships. According to the study in this novel, women have the most difficult time maintaining friendships between the ages of 25-40, after which friendship suddenly rates higher. The Ames girls discuss their children, especially their daughters. Current research indicates today's girls will be life-long dieters, have distorted body images, and be scarred by cliques. The Girls From Ames is an intriguing sociological look inside a group of women who forged deep bonds as young children, forged their friendship by junior high and maintained and strengthened their friendships through time and distance, marriages, births, and divorces. I found this book to be an intriguing look at the social science of friendships, being of the same age group, I do not think I would have been friends with many of these girls, however, I did find it interesting that the McCormick's had a summer house on the same lake my family did, and briefly pondered whether I ever met any of them. All in all it is an intriguing sociological study on friendship and I would recommend The Girls From Ames to anyone interested in the social sciences of women and friendship.(less)

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Aug 10, 2011 Diana Bogan added it

What is remarkable about this story is not the individual trials and tribulations that these women face in their own lives. And it isn't even really the fact that a woman can have such a deep and meaningful bond of friendship with another woman. What struck me as remarkable - astonishing really- is that a group of 11 women can share such a deep friendship that transcends the group as a whole. And more, sustain it. Having not grown up in one town my entire childhood, I can't conceive of this bein...more

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Nov 06, 2012 Bookreaderljh rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-read-in-2012

I liked this book and would recommend it but I found it didn't resonate with me. This is probably because I've never had friendships such as this - but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have liked to. Each story of this group of friends stood on its own and then wrapped back into the stories of the others as the meet as girls and re-meet as women. Some of the stories are heartbreaking and brought me to tears at a couple of spots. But through it all these girls stayed close friends. But the group was...more

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Oct 24, 2012 Rhonda rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

I just finished this book and then read some of the reviews. I agreed with most of them, that the underlying story of these mid-west enduring friends is wonderful. Their stories made me laugh and cry. I grew up near where they lived and a few years ahead of them. I never knew any of them, but their stories resonated with me. I still have a group of friends from grade-school through high-school who keep in touch with cards, facebook and e-mail. We don't get together near as much as the girls in t...more

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Sep 20, 2012 Abbe added it · review of another edition

Shelves: in-library

EDITORIAL REVIEW: **From the coauthor of the million-copy bestseller *The Last Lecture* comes a moving tribute to female friendships, with the inspiring story of eleven girls and the ten women they became.** Meet the Ames Girls: eleven childhood friends who formed a special bond growing up in Ames, Iowa. As young women, they moved to eight different states, yet managed to maintain an enduring friendship that would carry them through college and careers, marriage and motherhood, dating and divorc...more

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Jul 31, 2012 Tiffany rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book is an endearing look into the lives of eleven girls who met during their adolescence in Ames, Iowa and have maintained a strong bond to one another ever since. The girls have seen each other through youth, college, careers, men, births, moves, deaths and everything in between. It's fascinating to read about a group of women who have been able to keep ties with one another for over 40 years and support each other in ways that outsiders (and even their spouses) will never fully comprehen...more

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Dec 17, 2011 Carol rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010, first-reads, non-fiction

So how could I like this book when I grew up outside of a clique in junior high? I could easily understand the pain of rejection and the meanness of the rejecters as in the chapter titled” Intervention”. To me this book is a window into what was happening inside a closed circle of girls.
This group of girls met in kindergarten and before the same as the group I knew in junior high. They developed ties that were like invisible glue that sealed them together and cut others off.
Even though I was a...more So how could I like this book when I grew up outside of a clique in junior high? I could easily understand the pain of rejection and the meanness of the rejecters as in the chapter titled” Intervention”. To me this book is a window into what was happening inside a closed circle of girls.
This group of girls met in kindergarten and before the same as the group I knew in junior high. They developed ties that were like invisible glue that sealed them together and cut others off.
Even though I was angry at the first fourth of the book, especially when they had a meeting to tell one of the girls that she did not fit in, I stuck with it and did learn from the book.
When grief struck the group they bore it together. They learned from each other on how to deal with life’s worst events. When cancer struck the daughter of one of them, it was as though she was everyone’s daughter, when breast cancer struck one of them and later another, they developed rituals to bring the relief of laughter to give them respite from the horrible situation. They learned to deal with overpowering emotions with courage and ingenuity.
The author emphasizes the differences between men and women when it comes to friendships. Women share feelings, family problems, inadequacies but men stick to topics outside of their personal selves, to sports, car and tangible objects. This may be a handicap that men have to deal with. The sharing and caring that exists in women’s groups does not seem thrive in men’s groups. That to me was not new or surprising.
What was more interesting to me was that the group of 11 women grew emotionally and became more nurturing to each other and to other people. They learned to be a positive force in life and to be more accepting of others. They learned to be more forgiving, accepting of differences and even how to love their own children more. To me, that is reason to read this book.
I recommend this book to all those who been those who have been in cliques and those who were always left out. Don’t get discouraged by the references to studies about the differences between men and women. Keep on reading until you find the gold of friendships and their endurance.
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Sep 08, 2011 Joanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

I am blessed to be part of a similar group of girls from the class of 1978. Starting out as a high school sorority, I’ve been privileged to know wonderful girls/women like the Ames FBB (Fabulous Best Buddies circa theirs 30’s on – previously Farts, Burps and Boobs! LOL) girls have experienced. And yes, we still refer to ourselves as “the girls.” After a rough year of unexpected loss (two brothers) we decided to have monthly “sorority meetings” instead of funeral home reunions and 2011 has been o...more

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Aug 30, 2011 Stephanie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I admire Zaslow for delving so deeply into these women's relationships, and I admire the women for letting him. The book is a profile of the girls from Ames, Iowa, now women who have known each other most of their lives and who continue to gather yearly. In one book, it was hard for Zaslow to do justice to each of the eleven women, and I was alternately annoyed by trying to keep track of who was whom and curious to know more about certain incidents. By virtue of the book focusing on all the wome...more

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Aug 22, 2011 emi Bevacqua rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, journalist

My mom always told me she chose to go to Ames, Iowa for her spring break, and I never heard anything more wholesome sounding; I read a glowing review of this book, and its subtitle is A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship. The subject matter is fine (a group of 11 childhood friends who remain tight through adolescence and beyond, despite obstacles like distance and differing viewpoints); it's just the delivery that I find fault with. The writer Jeffrey Zaslow, is a Wall Street Journal c...more

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Jun 18, 2011 Britni rated it 5 of 5 stars

Meet Karla, Kelly, Marilyn, Jane, Jenny, Karen, Cathy, Angela, Sally, Diana, and Sheila. Eleven girls that all grew up together in Ames, Iowa and forty years later are still friends today. Jeffrey Zaslow spent a year visiting each of these women in their homes and listening to their stories. Voted as one of the top 10 books of the year by People Magazine, The Girls from Ames is a true story about these women and the lives they have shared together from childhood to now into their forties.

I loved...more

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Jun 15, 2011 Katherine rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-non-fiction

I picked this up at the library thinking it was fiction, however, it is the true story of a 11 girls from Ames, Iowa who became close friends in elementary school and despite the fact they are spread out all over the country are still extremely close friends in their mid-forties. Interspersed with the details of their lives are passages about studies which show that a close group of female friends is one of the contributing factors to being healthy, happy and living a long time at least for wome...more

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May 31, 2011 Kim rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I had mixed feelings about this one. I really enjoyed some aspects of this book, and what Zaslow was trying to get across about friendship. I thought these women were wonderfully supportive of each other, especially given the changes they've been through and challenges they've faced. There were times I felt envious of their relationships. It made me think about friendship differently and how it can have an impact on family life and vice versa. There were some details I didn't want to know about...more

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May 28, 2011 Patricia rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a true account that follows a group of 11 girls who become friends while growing up in Ames, Iowa, during the 1960s through the early 1980s. What is unusual is that all of the girls (except for one who died young) remained close friends even into their early forties, when the author met them and recorded the major events of their lives. The book claims that it is the story of a 40-year friendship, but that's a bit of an exaggeration. The circle of friends solidified to include 11 girls b...more This is a true account that follows a group of 11 girls who become friends while growing up in Ames, Iowa, during the 1960s through the early 1980s. What is unusual is that all of the girls (except for one who died young) remained close friends even into their early forties, when the author met them and recorded the major events of their lives. The book claims that it is the story of a 40-year friendship, but that's a bit of an exaggeration. The circle of friends solidified to include 11 girls by the time they were in high school. Their circle remained closed off to outsiders. Some outsiders resented the girls for their perceived snobbishness, and a couple of the students were angry enough to pull a nasty prank on them just before graduation. Although the girls went their separate ways after they left high school, they stayed in touch via letters and phone calls, and later on, through email. With the exception of one woman who remained in Iowa, all of them moved to other states. The friendship survived despite the passing years and some life-changing events.

The author includes a chapter with studies showing the value of long-term female friendships, which can even help to boost health and improve longevity.

The author does seem to focus on a few of the women in the group. One of the friends became a make-up artist and dealt with celebrities on a daily basis, causing some others in her circle to become envious of her glamorous life. She chose to remain single. Some of the women stayed closer to home, opting instead for marriage and motherhood. Although the friends have different personalities, they seem to complement each other, which is not to say that friction never arose between some members of the group. During their high school years, one of the girls was ostracized by some members of the group, causing her to turn elsewhere for friendship. Yet she claims that the outcome was positive, because she learned more about herself and became a stronger person as a result. The book deals with serious issues such as abortion, divorce, adoption, the loss of a child, illness and aging parents. The author is certainly sympathetic to his biographical subjects, but sometimes his attempts to lighten the mood don't work. (less)

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Feb 19, 2011 Paul Pessolano rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is not a guy book, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

This is a fascinating story that will keep youj spellbound from the first page to the last page. A story that will tug at all your emotions and leave you wanting for more.

In the small town of Ames, Iowa, population of 53,000, half of which are Iowa State students, a friendship was formed by eleven young girls. This friendship spanned from the late 1950's to the present day. The friendship, for some, began in grade school, but the group really c...more

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Aug 05, 2010 Mandy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I thought this book was an interesting idea, in concept. It was a quick, easy read. It would be good for a book club book or for a group of girls who have or appreciate long lasting friendships.

In my opinion the stories of the women and the sociological reflections by the author were often jarring and not seamless. Sometimes you felt like you were reading an email, other times you felt like you were reading a textbook. I also had a difficult time getting into the writing. I come from a school of...more

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Aug 01, 2010 Cindy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I picked this book up, not realizing it was non-fiction. But something about it drew me in, and I found myself absorbed in this true story of 11 friends, and all that they have been through over the years, while still maintaining their nearly 40 year friendship.

Yes, it's sappy, and yes, there are some tear-jerking moments. But in reading it, I found myself thinking about my own friendships and wishing I had friends as close as these. It's almost inevitable that you'll find yourself comparing you...more

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Jul 25, 2010 Jo rated it 3 of 5 stars

Enjoyed it. Made me think of my own girlfriends and our history and how blessed I am to have so many long term friends throughout the different facets and time periods of my life. It also made me realize some of the hurtles we've yet to face. I was touched at many points during the book, but it could maybe have been organized better or the characters could have been introduced in a more memorable way. I did find myself flipping back frequently to see who was who again. Of course, organizing the...more

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Jul 24, 2010 David rated it 3 of 5 stars

The setting is a long-weekend reunion of the 10 surviving (of 11) women from a tight group of lifelong friends from Ames, Iowa. Nothing much happens at the reunion, so that functions mostly as a scene-setter for flashbacks and commentary about their lives and friendship.

The book was a mixed bag for me. On the minus side, it's poorly edited -- repetition is unwelcome when the subject is interesting (e.g., dying words of the one who died young from a possibly drunken fall) and indefensible when th...more

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Jun 03, 2010 Jennie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: human-behavior

I have very mixed feelings about this book. I wanted to like this book. I really, really did. However, the writer was a man and while that shouldn't be a problem, it kind of was for this book. Maybe a different man would have done a better job, but honestly, there was too much bewilderment from the author coming through the narrative. If I had to make a guess about this author, I'd guess that he likes and respects women, but is one of those men who find women to be an "other" some kind of un-und...more I have very mixed feelings about this book. I wanted to like this book. I really, really did. However, the writer was a man and while that shouldn't be a problem, it kind of was for this book. Maybe a different man would have done a better job, but honestly, there was too much bewilderment from the author coming through the narrative. If I had to make a guess about this author, I'd guess that he likes and respects women, but is one of those men who find women to be an "other" some kind of un-understandable creature. And if this book had really embraced that perspective and tried to use these women to help other men understand women it probably would have been more honest to the author and frankly, a better read. I'm sure that it doesn't help that the author is a columnist. The book felt like a REALLY long colunm. Like he had no idea how to structure the story he wanted to tell or create any drama or anticipation.

So, while my feelings about the writing are pretty clear, my feelings about the women and their story are more complex. I'll be honest, I haven't had a group of girlfriends since I was a kid. I have girlfriends. They are wonderful and supportive and have become my pseudo-siblings. But they aren't a group. At this point, most of them have met each other, but I am friends with each of them pretty much independently of others. This fact may make me just totally unable to relate to the women who are the subject of this book. However, I like to think of myself as able to stretch and relate to people with different experiences from myself (I am a social worker after all), and I sincerely hope that this isn't what my problem was.

First of all, I had a terribly hard time keeping the women straight. I had to refer back to the photos at the front of the book all the way until the end of the book. This is supremely unusual for me. Seriously, I read King novels (I love him, but damn does he like to have a huge cast of characters) and fantasy books with maps and geneologies in the front. Now, I don't want to say that the real women from the book are indistinguishable because I'm sure that if I interacted with them in person they would be wonderful individuals. However, the characters were not presented in such a way that I was able to differntiate one from another.

Secondly, the way the book was organized contributed to my inability to really keep them straight. I love a good flashback in a novel, but in this book it just annoyed the shit out of me. Frankly, I couldn't figure out what the organization was. It wasn't chronological, although it was vaguely chronological. It wasn't set up by "girl", although each chapter had a kind of focus on a particular woman. Basically, it was frustrating. And there was no surprise or suspense as to what happened...I mean the first pages with photos and info gave away the two deaths in the book.

And, in the interest of being totally honest...well, some of these women did something that I HATE. In fact there was a significant minority who did it. They went to college and then decided to become stay at home moms. Yea, I know. Don't shoot me. Don't leave nasty messages. I HATE this. I know that as a feminist I should support any career/family decision that women make. But I don't. I judge, I'm human. So many of these women went to college and then chose to be stay at home moms. Its a life path that I have NEVER understood. It seems really selfish and indulgent and retro in a bad way to me. In any case, it was a decision that a lot of the women in the book made. It made me not like them as much as I wanted to.

However, what this book did do well was show real realttions between real women. They didn't always get along. They frequently disagreed. They were sometimes self-involved. But they were always presented as being real people. And more importantly, despite their challenges, they loved and supported each other. It was a really good depiction of what happens to women's friendships as they age and move away from each other.

All in all, it was an interesting concept for a book. It just didn't live up to its potential. (less)

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May 21, 2010 Jennifer rated it 2 of 5 stars

I has taken me many months to read this. I read a little of this book at a time in between novels because it just wasn't compelling enough to hold my attention.

I'm not much of a non-fiction reader, but having spent the first 12 years of my life in Ames, I was intrigued by this book. Sadly, it is not very well written, and I was also a little turned off by what these girls were like as teenagers (though I think I'd like most of them as grown women). I realize that many people lacked good sense as...more

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May 11, 2010 Kate rated it 2 of 5 stars

I have, for basically as far back as I can remember, had more guy friends than girl friends. I don' know why and usually I don't care why. Sometimes an offhand comment will be made ("She's one of those girls who doesn't have girlfriends") and I get all paranoid. What is one of those girls??? I never want to be that girl!

In reading The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship, I'm not sure I want to be the kind of girl who has a lot of girlfriends, either. Certainly not the...more I have, for basically as far back as I can remember, had more guy friends than girl friends. I don' know why and usually I don't care why. Sometimes an offhand comment will be made ("She's one of those girls who doesn't have girlfriends") and I get all paranoid. What is one of those girls??? I never want to be that girl!

In reading The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship, I'm not sure I want to be the kind of girl who has a lot of girlfriends, either. Certainly not the types described in this book. The friendship that Zaslow goes into great detail to describe sounds fine enough. These women obviously have a great support system that they have developed for each other and, to some extent, I think that is all of the point he desires to make. But the way the circle of friends works, well that just plain old didn't sound appealing to me. Sorry. He tried to show that they were clique-y in high school but not anymore but I read about it immediately reverting back to my high school self and feeling excluded.

Zaslow's book read less like a novel, which I suppose it wasn't, to me than a PhD dissertation. But who wants to read a PhD dissertation?! It was mostly written in story form with some facts and citations of scholarly journals thrown in. The facts inspired him to write the books, to learn more about the power of female relationships and how those relationships will effect his daughters' and wife's lives.The potential behind this research is important, especially for ladies like myself not in large friends circles of women. If I had better friend sources I would be happier, live longer, have a better marriage ... all powerful stuff. But still, in The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women & a Forty-Year Friendship, pretty boring stuff to read about.

I chugged my way through this book, completing it in time for a monthly book club deadline. Here's the thing. I don't recommend it to you, internet, and I won't recommend it to other people. But at one point in the book I did cry. CRY. I don't think my crying was because the book was so good but more because it was detailing the death of someone and the death of my grandmother is still so fresh. But regardless I sat on my couch weeping. Most books don't leave me with emotional reactions. So I offer you up a review of this book -- not the best but maybe the fact that it did touch some part of my emotional core means there is something more here I missed.(less)

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About Jeffrey Zaslow

Through his Wall Street Journal column and bestselling books, Jeffrey Zaslow has told the stories of some of the most inspirational people of our time.

The Last Lecture, written with Randy Pausch, has been translated into 48 languages, and was #1 on best-seller lists worldwide. Five million copies have been sold in English alone, and the book has remained on The New York Times best-seller list for...more

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Books by Jeffrey Zaslow

The Magic Room: A Story About the Love We Wish for Our Daughters

Highest Duty: My Search for What Really Matters

Tell Me All about It: A Personal Look at the Advice Business

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“Here's what we'll do. We're going to keep you at the end of our fishing line. And if you ever need anything, you just give a little tug and we'll reel you back in.” — 7 people liked it

“Because I have no actual sisters, it is my friends from Ames who’ve exposed me to every facet of womanhood.” — 1 person liked it

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