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Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair
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Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair

4.05  ·  Rating Details ·  104 Ratings  ·  14 Reviews
Free yourself from destructive behavior and learn how to break your patterns of self-hate and achieve personal fulfillment with this sympathetic and practical guide from the author of The Angry Book.

Many of us know that self-destructive patterns are rooted in self-dislike, but few of us understand how to break them. In this wise and compassionate book, bestselling author a
Paperback, 288 pages
Published April 28th 1998 by Touchstone
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Feb 25, 2008 Andy rated it it was amazing
This book literally changed my life. Its argument is that early childhood experience can lead to a negative, self-hating mindset, essentially a mechanism, which can insidiously damage one's life, often without one's conscious awareness. It offers specific examples of the tactics that this self-hating mechanism uses, and the tactics that should be used to fight it.
It is largely free of the magical thinking of many self-help books. It is a practical, clear-thinking, straightforward guide to a syn
Jul 19, 2012 Rebecca rated it really liked it
Shelves: brain-power
I am so happy to have my own copy of this book because I have underlined, starred and circled page numbers in so many places.

To give you an idea of Dr. Rubin's philosophy, this is from page 203:

"I think the bravest ting most of us do is to get up each morning and to face whatever life has in store for us. This is no small matter, considering our feelings, our sensitivity, our vulnerability and our awareness, however repressed, of how unpredictable and tenuous life and the world are. We are not
Mara Shaw
Sep 11, 2015 Mara Shaw rated it it was amazing
Anxious? Depressed? Self loathing? You may be operating from a dysfunctional paradigm -- one that doesn't recognize that you are in fact human. Any behaviours you judge are simply human and therefore to be compassionately accepted. That doesn't resolve them, but it ends the anxiety caused by the rejection of that part of you.

Rubin explores the forms of self-hate, from postponing decisions to depression to alcohol, food, gambling abuse to self-denigration. He invites the reader to evaluate the p
Aug 31, 2016 David rated it really liked it
For the first couple chapters, I didn't think I would like this book. Like a lot of self-help books, it starts out with a certain amount of puffery. The argument that all mental disorders stem from self-hate strikes me as overreaching.

Later chapters, however, describe different types of self-hate, what social factors encourage it, and misperceptions about ourselves that breed it. I recognized many of these patterns in myself, and recognizing them has helped me control them. There's a lot of deep
Chris Carmichael
Jul 06, 2012 Chris Carmichael rated it really liked it
I read this many years ago and it was incredibly helpful for me. It remains a book I recommend to anyone -- but especially to those who were exposed to physical or emotional abuse in childhood. The book sheds helpful light on common -- yet often unnoticed -- patterns of self-hate a person may inflict upon herself.
Jul 14, 2011 roger rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
I read this at a time when I was struggling with identity issues and depression. The authors clinical experience helped me realize how un-alone I was with these issues. In in he asks some good questions that anyone struggling with the above needs to ask themselves. It helped me. I found it at my local library and I'd recommend doing the same before taking this on as a purchase.
Jun 27, 2010 Mark rated it it was amazing
I cannot recommend this book enough. It is extremely insightful and worthwhile. Personally, it made me realize how hard I am on myself. Many of the things we all struggle with are simply a part of the human condition, and realizing this is a huge step in the right direction. Very glad I read this book!
Mar 24, 2008 Joe rated it it was amazing
I'd recommend this book to anyone who is coping with issues around self-esteem or who feels that life no longer presents no good options. Rubin is one of those unique voices who can create fresh insight without seeming preachy or condescending.
Kadri Tolsberg
Oct 25, 2015 Kadri Tolsberg rated it it was amazing
Really good psychology book. Explains lot of ways we loose confidence when growing up.
In my opinion one of those "must read" books to learn more about yourself. =)
Aug 07, 2016 Tina rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favourites
This is an excellent book. Thank you for helping me love myself.
Catherine McClelland
a good book explaining and identifying self-hate but little about strategies to help eliminate self- hate thoughts and behavior. Joy is not a legitimate cure to self-hate. The book completely ignores clinical depression as a disease needing drug therapy.
George Jarecke
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