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English Toss on Planet Andong

by Dave Franklin (Goodreads Author)

2.89 of 5 stars 2.89 · rating details · 18 ratings · 14 reviews

Dave Franklin's biting satire centres on three hopeless expat teachers in South Korea who have all ended up in an ESL classroom for the wrong reasons.

Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools. One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of...more

Paperback, 376 pages

Published 2008 by Baby Ice Dog Press

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Apr 23, 2010 Tara Calaby rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, adult-fiction, travel

I was excited to receive a copy of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program.

English Toss on Planet Andong follows the story of Paul, an Australian teaching English in Korea, touching on the peripheral journeys of two other expats, Billy and Denzil.

As the central character, Paul's role is largely that of observer. However, over the course of the novel, the reader is granted building insights into his back-story, and by the end of the book, he is a more sympathetic character than he a...more

2 likes · like · see review

Jan 26, 2009 Karen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian, review-books

I really hope Dave feels better after writing this book. I'm guessing that there's a somewhat autobiographical element to the events that happen in this book - it's too starkly drawn surely for just imagination (mind you, if I'm wrong, well it's some imagination this man has!)

Paul Taylor has taken a job - along with a lot of other people trying to escape from something - in Andong, South Korea. Teaching English to young Korean children. The fascinating thing is that horrible kids are basically h...more I really hope Dave feels better after writing this book. I'm guessing that there's a somewhat autobiographical element to the events that happen in this book - it's too starkly drawn surely for just imagination (mind you, if I'm wrong, well it's some imagination this man has!)

Paul Taylor has taken a job - along with a lot of other people trying to escape from something - in Andong, South Korea. Teaching English to young Korean children. The fascinating thing is that horrible kids are basically horrible kids - no matter what country they come from, and teaching English to kids who could care less is obviously a very soul destroying occupation. Why you'd put yourself through the social isolation, the social deprivation and the dislocation from all you know - just because of a broken heart, well I'm not too sure that you'll know why at the end of this book.

But you'll surely know what to look out for if you're thinking of taking one of these jobs. And it absolutely has to either put you off, or if you're more masochistic than others, than maybe you'll be chaffing at the bit to get out there and make it work.

But what I do know is that Paul has a certain way of dealing with all of this and that is to partially disconnect, partially whinge (a lot), partially fight back in weird, devious and frequently petty ways - all of which combine to keep him as close to sane as this bloke's ever going to be.

Now ENGLISH TOSS ON PLANET ANDONG is not strictly crime fiction (although sharing a flat with some of those people could be called a crime), but how to define it is quite a question. It's a journey novel, it might even be looked upon as a cathartic novel for the writer - it could be called a rant novel, but it is very funny in places, and at other times it's gross and offputting, but it's also touching and revealing in others.

I bet it's not the sort of book that readers of my blog will pick up on a regular basis, but if you're looking for something that is startlingly different (or if you're contemplating a stint as an overseas teacher of English) - ENGLISH TOSS ON PLANET ANDONG is just the ticket.(less)

3 likes · like · see review

Nov 14, 2011 Katherine rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: cbf-to-finish

Congratulations, Mr. Franklin, for producing the inaugural novel of my "can't be fucked to finish it" shelf. Bravo!

I should say that I did not get this book as part of the Good Books First Reads Giveaway or whatever; I inadvertently found it on Google Books through a random Google search. Relevant to my interests as both an expat English teacher in South Korea as well as a writer, I decided to give it a shot. I almost regret that I did.

As it stands, I see two possible ways to interpret this pie...more

1 like · like · see review

Apr 29, 2010 Jennifer (JC-S) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

‘I can honestly say I’ve never know a writer like you. You are to words what Pol Pot was to people.’

Every year, thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. Sometimes this works well, and sometimes it doesn’t. Why? Well, it depends on a number of different factors – and this story contains many of them – especially the ones that might be a barrier to success. Teaching English as a second language is not easy.

Paul Taylor, our main character, is a heartbroken...more

1 like · like · see review

Dec 17, 2010 Jay rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian-authors, books-i-own, goodreads-giveaways-and-first-reads

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I received this book as part of the Goodreads giveaways.

At first I was a little hesitant- the blurb and title leave something to be desired. Was this going to be some kind of strange sci-fi novel? What was the plot? I understood it was about an expat teaching in South Korea, but exactly was going to happen?

In a couple of words: not much. This is a bit of a winding novel. Paul, the main character, is depressed and seeking a bit of guidance in his life after splitting with his wife back in Austra...more I received this book as part of the Goodreads giveaways.

At first I was a little hesitant- the blurb and title leave something to be desired. Was this going to be some kind of strange sci-fi novel? What was the plot? I understood it was about an expat teaching in South Korea, but exactly was going to happen?

In a couple of words: not much. This is a bit of a winding novel. Paul, the main character, is depressed and seeking a bit of guidance in his life after splitting with his wife back in Australia. Then there's Billy, a grumpy, cynical Brit who puts House to shame. He hates everything except his pipe, his robot cat and his Little Black Book (of death). And then he has a creepy obsession with one of his stuents. Through the book we meet a few other characters who come and go and all rather bizarre.

There's no plot to speak as such. There's no real overarching plot point. Rather, it's about Paul trying to figure out what he's doing with himself. There are some points that could have been developed further- corporal punishment, maybe Deborah's death or Denzil's brain damage. But they flitter in and out. Much like life, there are short arcs that sort themselves out without the character's involvement.

I would have liked to have seen Billy get some kind of retribution. I liked him at some points, but he's incredibly vile and I can't help but wonder how Paul was able to put up with him for so long. But I suppose that's part of his charm- the character you love to hate.

And then there's the teaching. As a teacher myself, I can relate. Kids? They can be bitches. They can suck something awful. They don't shut up, they don't listen and most of all, they rarely understand. But that's kids. They're kids, and it takes an incredible amount of patience, tolerance and discipline in order to work with them, and not just everyone is cut out for it. Some days you do wish you had cane you could whip out. And that's part of what this book is about. A classroom is a hard environment, and it can be like another planet- not to mention being in another country altogether!

So ultimately, this is a very dark written comedy. There's a lot of strings left hanging, and half a dozen plot holes, but it's all quite fun. It's also a quick, breezy read, and it's a good Australian comedy, with an Australian sense of humour. (less)

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May 06, 2010 Velvetink rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, first-reads, read-2010, korea

IT arrived today 19th April. Thanks. !!!!

I was intrigued firstly by the setting in Korea and teaching English as a 2nd language. That said it was a book like no other I've read. I have to preface that I'm not a great one for comedy, and often fail to see the joke. So the first couple of chapters were hard for me to get into being comedically challenged. However that said, once I got past the names of the students I started to enjoy the main characters in a perverse kind of way. After the slow st...more

1 like · like · see review

Aug 13, 2010 Michelle O'flynn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I was fortunate enough to receive this book as a winner of the GoodReads first reads and I thank Dave, and the publishers for this. Like many of the other reviewers I find it hard to describe what I got from reading this book. Certainly at times I really wanted to enjoy and like this book more than what I did. I felt that there would be some truly laugh-out-loud moments, and they didn't quite eventuate I did find myself smiling at some of the antics in the nightclub "Popcorn". This story is abou...more I was fortunate enough to receive this book as a winner of the GoodReads first reads and I thank Dave, and the publishers for this. Like many of the other reviewers I find it hard to describe what I got from reading this book. Certainly at times I really wanted to enjoy and like this book more than what I did. I felt that there would be some truly laugh-out-loud moments, and they didn't quite eventuate I did find myself smiling at some of the antics in the nightclub "Popcorn". This story is about an ex-pat Aussie in Korea employed at a private school to teach English to local children but at some points ventures into the sadistic mind of flat-mate Englishman going by the name of Billy. This rather twisted individual shows all the portent of a budding serial killer and yet the author didn't reveal anything more about this character, other than his delight in taunting mercilessly everyone from his fellow teachers, the students, the locals and everyone who unwittingly strays into his orbit. While teaching English overseas must certainly have its share of perils and trials, I feel that in reality there must also be an equal balance of great experiences and fun. However, for the hapless characters in Dave's story, these ex-pats must endure students who have no interest in learning English, locals with little or no interest in speaking English nor socializing with the foreigners, terrible weather, and a location that must make any black hole in space seem like a good alternative. Billy's careless indifference to the wellbeing of any fellow human beings results in a tragedy that prompts the two into a decision about their teaching future. Unfortunately this is what decides the ending to the story, leaving the reader feeling somewhat unsatisfied. When the main character Paul reminesces about his past in Queensland, author Dave shows that he can indeed evoke emotion and interest in the reader, but his story doesn't do his writing style justice. While I enjoy a good black comedy, and this story has all the ingredients for such a rollicking laugh, it just falls a bit short. I think a little more coherence in some of the rambling would make for easier reading, and insight Billy's background would have provided not only more fodder for the comedy, but given us some context. I am most interested to see if Dave's other books continue in the same theme where the typical Anglo characters take sadistic satisfaction in their superior reviling of the locals, or whether there is indeed something deeper and more entertaining from this writer. I believe that from what he has shown us here, the talent is certainly there.(less)

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Jan 18, 2011 Emma rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Aug 28, 2010 Mandy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, three-stars

English Toss on Planet Andong is a story which is as peculiar as its title. It’s a little bit different, a little bit quirky and a little bit strange. Sometimes it’s laugh out loud funny, other times it is cringe worthy and then there are times when it is emotional.

Paul Taylor heads to what he must feel is a different planet, the setting of which is South Korea. With a broken heart and seeking a fresh start he moves overseas to teach English at school. I don’t think Paul was expecting the studen...more

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Apr 30, 2010 Nicki Markus rated it 3 of 5 stars

I find it hard to decide what to say about this book.

Some parts made me laugh out loud but at the same time I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about it.

The book charts the lives of a group of English speakers as they teach English to children in Korea. All are completely unsuitable for the task with one enjoying hitting the children and having Lolita-like fantasies about one of the girls.

All the way through I wondered if the point would become clear: is this book just a black-comedy or pa...more

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May 06, 2010 Mary rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was an eye opener. I love the whole fish out of water aspect. I did not appreciate all the humour but did in general. Certainly worth a read if you are contemplating imparting your wisdom on another culture.

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Oct 05, 2010 Reagan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: won

I won this book through Member Giveaways on LibraryThing and it looked interesting but I didn't expect that much from it. But I loved it, enjoyable and very funny from start to finish. It's not very often a book actually makes me laugh out loud. I won another book from this author, Manic Streets of Perth, and I'm definitely looking forward to starting on it.

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Sep 17, 2010 Rena rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I got this book from Goodreads giveaway~

I guess this isn't my cup of tea. However, when reading the story, the only thing that really stood out for me is the 'Billy' character and his sadistic mind..which I quite liked by the way. I'm guessing Paul as the protagonist is trying to project a good guy image. But, in my mind, he should just not bother even trying in my opinion

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Apr 19, 2010 Adele rated it 1 of 5 stars

I got this book as part of Goodreads Giveaway.

It was not my Cup of tea.
I'm Grateful to the author and Publishers for a chance to read this book. but the fact is. i just didn't like it. It sounds great. but once you read it, i just wasn't that thrilled.

Sorry.

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Feb 09, 2013 Lisa Thomas rated it 5 of 5 stars

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Nov 12, 2010 Mellissa rated it 3 of 5 stars

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Shelves: ex-pats

Dec 25, 2010 TweetMags rated it 3 of 5 stars

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About Dave Franklin

Born in Wales, Dave Franklin published his first story in a fishing magazine at the age of sixteen. He emigrated to Australia in 1999 and made his living as a reporter, earning the distinction of being sacked twice by the same Perth-based newspaper group. He then spent nearly three years teaching English in Korea, during which the mortality rate of the children under his care remained at an impres...more

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“Ideally, alcohol should be consumed in private. I dislike going to the pub, becoming jolly and ending up talking to people I would rather see injected with bleach.” — 6 people liked it

“I seem to feel ashamed of going out and getting merry - I find it oddly humiliating - but I'm quite happy to sit here like some dipsomaniac and become maudlin. For me, that is cool behaviour. Once you realise you're going to be on your own for the next few decades, it seems as pleasurable a way as any to pass the years.” — 2 people liked it

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