Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate
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Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate

3.53 of 5 stars 3.53  ·  rating details  ·  515 ratings  ·  85 reviews
From the star and executive producer of Bravo's hit show The Millionaire Matchmaker comes a no-holds-barred, pull-no-punches approach to snagging Mr. Right For You--in just one year.
Hardcover, 278 pages
Published January 1st 2009 by Atria Books
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Sondra Santos
Without giving away too much of the book, I do want to share some great quotes that I pulled from Stanger. She’s a very successful, beautiful and smart individual. Listen up, ladies!

“As soon as you say, ‘I’m not going to date for a while,’ the bus unloads. Don’t go out with them, but make sure you take reservations. Remember, the best restaurants are booked weeks in advance, why not you? You’re worth waiting for.”

“Think of yourself as a great wine – you’re only getting better and more valuable...more
Patti Stanger is a legend in the land of Hollywood and home entertainment alike. She is a third generation matchmaker, centrally located in L.A., who helps the upper crust find their "love of a lifetime." She is probably most famous for her filter (or lack there of) when it comes to critiquing not only potential matches, but her clients as well. Patti's honesty is brutal, but always spot on. With an insanely high success rate, she might sound like the answer to your prayers, however her insanely...more
I've only seen Patti Stanger's show "The Millionaire Matchmaker" a few times. Having little patience for "reality TV", I was surprised to find how addicting her show can be, and how fascinating it was to see the dating match-ups hits and misses. I can't say I watched much of the show, but when she went on Oprah and they plugged her book, I went ahead and bought it.

The book contains a lot of dating advice, which is largely generalized to fit "any woman, any stage of your life" demographic as opp...more
Patti Stanger is one New York broad (now lives in LA but...) who says it like it is. I love her show because of her. She has no filter! The thing is she is observant, has the keen mind of a businesswoman who doesn't mess around, knows both men and women, both of the sexes' weaknesses, and what they want for the most part.

Her book has honest advice that says it like it for us ladies who let's face it get emotionally attached and do stupid things when we know we shouldn't. She explains why (the da...more
Mar 01, 2009 Ginny added it
Shelves: self-help
I chose to get this one out of the library, not really believing advice from an abrasive reality TV Show hostess could be worthwhile. Turns out Patti Stanger is a Jersey girl (I should have guessed) so we had more in common than I initially thought.

I found most of the advice to be practical, interesting, and timely. The book does veer into some new age "law of attraction" ideas, but that is not the basis of the book, and it certainly can't help to think positive thoughts.

The steps are very uti...more
Frankly, I don't even know why I decided to read this book. At one point I was somewhat enjoying Patti's show on Bravo and I was curious what she has to say in her book. Well...
First of all, I think it's about time someone close to Patti tells her (gently, if that's possible) that we are in the year 2010 now, not 1950. Her mentality is right where her grandmother's was when she was dating. If you believe what Patti says, then all of your problems go away the moment you say "I do". Well, Patti so...more
Yes, it's Patti Stanger and yes, she is crazy on TV. However, in written form she is much more palatable. Is the advice earth shattering, no. But some of it is practical and useful. I think the way she presents herself on TV overshadows some of the good advice she has to offer.

I'm not very good at dating and I acknowledge that I need help, little tips and tricks that obviously I haven't thought about. I'm the kind of person that's used to working hard in my career to achieve, but when it comes t...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Lilly G
If you haven't watched Millionaire Matchmaker, you should. It took me a while to give it a try because it sounded like "The Golddiggers Union", but it's anything but. Patti, a 3rd generation matchmaker, basically thinks she's Cupid, sent here to help he lovelorn, and she goes about matching people in her database.

But she doesn't just match, she advises-- and most of all, critiques. A guy can be a millionaire but be a slob or a self-centered jerk, and she will call him out on it. Somehow she get...more
I am NOT giving this book 4 stars because it is well-written. I think it is a 4-star book because it was quite engaging and a lot of fun to read. I have never seen Patti Stanger's show "The Millionaire Matchmaker" - which may be why I liked the book so much.

Favorite parts:

- Advice about your first date - "Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, but dinner means business - the business of romance."
- Insightful phrases like, "You don't want a player, you want a stayer"
- Rea...more
Nichole Dinato
Not surprisingly, this book was full of a bunch of stuff that made me roll my eyes BUT there were some valuable pieces of information that I was able to pull out for future use. Probably the most valuable thing was her section on where to meet men - a LOT of them were places I would've never thought of. It's a quick read, worth it as long as you can take it with a giant grain of salt and filter out the garbage ;)
I would give this book a 3.5 if I could, because I love Patti and enjoyed reading this book. I'm a little younger than the age she mainly talks about so I skipped out on the marriage ending and will be saving it for years to come. Overall, Patti is indeed old fashioned, and you might find this difficult to deal with while reading, but remember old fashioned is actually a good thing. She is honest and funny when making every one of her points and covers everything very well including online datin...more
Though I'm already matched, I was tempted to read this book after watching Patti's Bravo show. In my opinion, Patti's 'rules' are more logical and easily applied than other major bestsellers in this category. This is a fun easy read that made me appreciate all the more what a perfect husband my spouse is.
Emily Schirmer
I decided not to finish this book soon after I started it (I got about 100 pages in). Not because I completely disagreed with Patti’s advice. Not because I am bitter, cynical, or upset that I don’t fit the description of outer beauty, which she explains is equally important in finding a partner as inner beauty. In fact, I have great hair, a perfect smile, I exercise daily, I have a pretty face and wear minimal makeup, and I’m happy. So basically, according to Patti, I’m rocking it.

I give her cr...more
I watch the show, and I like Patti. However, I took offense to her statement that men don't like curly or short hair, as I have both. Otherwise, the book was good.
Love her or love to hate her, Patti Stanger is interesting. That's what makes her show on Bravo so successful. I enjoy her show so much that I decided to check out her book just for kicks.

Not all of her advice going to work for you, but a lot of it is pretty sound. She is dead right about oxytocin, the lack of eligible bachelors on the East Coast, and she provides interesting suggestions about where to meet men. She also gives some practical (and easy!) exercises that you can do to identify what...more
I picked up this book because my friend is a fan of Patti Stanger and the Millionaire Matchmaker show. It's very heteronormative, monogamy-based, and treats landing a husband as the ultimate goal. Here are some things I've learned:

*Patti Stranger is a devoted fan of astrology and colonics/cleansers. "These days it's not uncommon for a group of women to treat themselves to a good colonic...It really makes you feel fresh and new to shed all those nasty toxins that are clawing around inside you." U...more
People underestimate these relationship get-your-guy advice books: I started reading them after a break-up, not to get a new man but because most of them advise various exercises to rid yourself of past relationship baggage and clarify your intentions before proceeding with the pursuit-of-him steps. Since you can portions of the book instead of the whole book (in e-books), I was tempted to just buy the first two chapters for the Dating Detox and finding my type, but then elected to buy the whole...more
I found the first two chapters to be really good and think all women should read them. However, there are parts of the book that instructs the reader to play games with guys. One example I found absolutely ridiculous was the 'A Pair and a spare' in Chapter 5. This is where women should (preferrably at all times) have a best straight guy friend, The Big Maybe and The One You really Like. So you pretty much lead two guys along while hoping that the guy you really like will get jealous of the other...more
Aug 03, 2012 Disha added it
I have always been against "dating" books because they tend to focus on the "rules". However, there is something unique and fascinating about Patti and her approach towards dating and relationships. I have enjoyed watching her show and thought why not read her book as well. She doesn't disappoint AT ALL! In fact, she gives a lot of tough love for all the single ladies out there. She refers back to a lot of examples from her personal and client's experiences. I am so glad I picked up this book be...more
Colleen Wainwright
I highly doubt I'd find my own perfect mate using Patti Stanger's advice—but then again, I'm not sure I'm up for a mate, period, perfect or not. That said, she offers some very straightforward and, I'd grant her, dead-on advice for a particular type of lady seeking a particular type of marriage. And not necessarily the gold-digging, strike-it-rich kind you might suspect from something that looks this mercenary from the outside. Much of what she says is the kind of commonsense stuff that still tr...more
If you like Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker series, you'll like this book.

Just like in her show, Stanger uses a no-nonsense, tough love approach to dating. She gives you concrete strategies for determining what it is you really want in a partner, explains in detail relationship stages as well as gives you clues to determine how serious it is, when to break it off and more. While there are some takeaways for men this is really for women. Quick read, funny and you come away feeling empowered and i...more
Alona Perlin
I'm a huge fan of this show, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity of reading Patti's advice. Some of the information is eye-opening. However, other advice is practical, but non-original. All and all, I'm not sorry I read this book and it gave me some useful wording to use with potential dates.
I recently watched the first season of the Millionaire matchmaker because I am starting a matchmaking company with and was hoping to get some great insight. Initially, I thought the show would be stupid and cheesy, but surprisingly, I found the show to be very entertaining and, admittedly, I agreed 100% with everything she recommended - except the no sex before being exclusive.

Her book is a solid read. I read this in less than three days and she even advocates the prenup for wome...more
I went into reading this book thinking it would just be a fun read. What I got from it though was practical advice. I loved how Patti Stanger put all her knowledge right out there. No sugar coating.

Though I didn't necessarily agree with everything she said, I will admit she knows what she is talking about. She takes the messy confusion of dating and puts it into eight easy steps. Her advice allows for both parties in a relationship to be empowered in their decisions.

Mostly this book gives women...more
Sarah Fitting-mcpherson
Are you thinking about reading this book? well I did, and I have so much to tell you about it.
Nicole Marie
Mar 30, 2010 Nicole Marie rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: ladies all over
To someone like me who hasn't a clue of how men work and what women should do to attract a good mate, this book was a godsend. Become Your Own Matchmaker is a fun and very easy read. The advice is straightforward, concise and most of all, very useful. I am all about the law of attraction and this book preaches it. Patti will help you detox so you are in a good position, mentally and emotionally, and can begin to focus on visualizing your mate. She also gives great tips on where to find eligible...more
After years of watching Patti Stanger show the Millionaire Maker, this book is a step by step guide to attracting the right type of person in one's life. If you are interested in dating different types of individuals, Patti says it all starts with you and your standards. There is nothing wrong with dating and marrying a certain type of man or women, but the good old saying is " you are what you attract". I highly recommend this book if you are looking to revamp your dating life and enter into a...more
Some of the advice in this book is downright freaky (like carrying a postcard of your headshot to give out, shudder) but there is a lot of very practical, useful advice in there as well. I found the "marriage-minded man" information to be the most interesting and valuable, and when I reflected back on my recent dates I could see that she's totally right. Her no-nonsense approach to how to deal with the losers was good too. I know I'm not the only woman who sticks around LONG after she should . ....more
This is the best dating book on Earth! It worked for me. I followed nearly all the steps in the book, even made a concise list of what I was looking for like she suggests. I met a guy who eerily matched all those qualities 2 weeks later. Fast forward a year, he proposed. Now I am married to the best man I have ever met. Without this book, I'm not sure I would have even recognized how perfect he was for me.

I recommend this book for any ladies starting to date again.
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Become Your Own Matchmaker Raising Your Desirability Factor: Steps One & Two from Become Your Own Matchmaker Raise Your Desirability Factor: Getting Date-Ready--Inside and Out--In Two Easy Steps Sealing the Deal: Steps Six, Seven  Eight from Become Your Own Matchmaker Finding Your Match: Steps Three, Four & Five from Become Your Own Matchmaker

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