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Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate

3.58  ·  Rating Details ·  819 Ratings  ·  102 Reviews
From the star and executive producer of Bravo's hit show The Millionaire Matchmaker comes a no-holds-barred, pull-no-punches approach to snagging Mr. Right For You--in just one year.
Hardcover, 278 pages
Published January 1st 2009 by Atria Books
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Sondra Santos
Nov 29, 2009 Sondra Santos rated it really liked it
Without giving away too much of the book, I do want to share some great quotes that I pulled from Stanger. She’s a very successful, beautiful and smart individual. Listen up, ladies!

“As soon as you say, ‘I’m not going to date for a while,’ the bus unloads. Don’t go out with them, but make sure you take reservations. Remember, the best restaurants are booked weeks in advance, why not you? You’re worth waiting for.”

“Think of yourself as a great wine – you’re only getting better and more valuable
Aug 21, 2010 Charity rated it really liked it
I've only seen Patti Stanger's show "The Millionaire Matchmaker" a few times. Having little patience for "reality TV", I was surprised to find how addicting her show can be, and how fascinating it was to see the dating match-ups hits and misses. I can't say I watched much of the show, but when she went on Oprah and they plugged her book, I went ahead and bought it.

The book contains a lot of dating advice, which is largely generalized to fit "any woman, any stage of your life" demographic as opp
Apr 29, 2010 Lola rated it liked it
Patti Stanger is a legend in the land of Hollywood and home entertainment alike. She is a third generation matchmaker, centrally located in L.A., who helps the upper crust find their "love of a lifetime." She is probably most famous for her filter (or lack there of) when it comes to critiquing not only potential matches, but her clients as well. Patti's honesty is brutal, but always spot on. With an insanely high success rate, she might sound like the answer to your prayers, however her insanely ...more
Apr 25, 2010 M rated it liked it
I watch the show, and I like Patti. However, I took offense to her statement that men don't like curly or short hair, as I have both. Otherwise, the book was good.
Feb 12, 2009 Ginny added it
Shelves: self-help
I chose to get this one out of the library, not really believing advice from an abrasive reality TV Show hostess could be worthwhile. Turns out Patti Stanger is a Jersey girl (I should have guessed) so we had more in common than I initially thought.

I found most of the advice to be practical, interesting, and timely. The book does veer into some new age "law of attraction" ideas, but that is not the basis of the book, and it certainly can't help to think positive thoughts.

The steps are very uti
Apr 28, 2009 Christine rated it liked it
Patti Stanger is one New York broad (now lives in LA but...) who says it like it is. I love her show because of her. She has no filter! The thing is she is observant, has the keen mind of a businesswoman who doesn't mess around, knows both men and women, both of the sexes' weaknesses, and what they want for the most part.

Her book has honest advice that says it like it for us ladies who let's face it get emotionally attached and do stupid things when we know we shouldn't. She explains why (the da
Sep 27, 2010 Viktoriya rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2010
Frankly, I don't even know why I decided to read this book. At one point I was somewhat enjoying Patti's show on Bravo and I was curious what she has to say in her book. Well...
First of all, I think it's about time someone close to Patti tells her (gently, if that's possible) that we are in the year 2010 now, not 1950. Her mentality is right where her grandmother's was when she was dating. If you believe what Patti says, then all of your problems go away the moment you say "I do". Well, Patti so
Nov 01, 2009 Mary rated it it was ok
Shelves: love-and-dating
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Mar 29, 2009 Lilly rated it really liked it
If you haven't watched Millionaire Matchmaker, you should. It took me a while to give it a try because it sounded like "The Golddiggers Union", but it's anything but. Patti, a 3rd generation matchmaker, basically thinks she's Cupid, sent here to help he lovelorn, and she goes about matching people in her database.

But she doesn't just match, she advises-- and most of all, critiques. A guy can be a millionaire but be a slob or a self-centered jerk, and she will call him out on it. Somehow she get
May 20, 2013 Rachael rated it liked it
Yes, it's Patti Stanger and yes, she is crazy on TV. However, in written form she is much more palatable. Is the advice earth shattering, no. But some of it is practical and useful. I think the way she presents herself on TV overshadows some of the good advice she has to offer.

I'm not very good at dating and I acknowledge that I need help, little tips and tricks that obviously I haven't thought about. I'm the kind of person that's used to working hard in my career to achieve, but when it comes t
Ann Marie
Feb 14, 2010 Ann Marie rated it really liked it
I am NOT giving this book 4 stars because it is well-written. I think it is a 4-star book because it was quite engaging and a lot of fun to read. I have never seen Patti Stanger's show "The Millionaire Matchmaker" - which may be why I liked the book so much.

Favorite parts:

- Advice about your first date - "Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, but dinner means business - the business of romance."
- Insightful phrases like, "You don't want a player, you want a stayer"
- Rea
Jun 04, 2011 Michelle rated it liked it
I would give this book a 3.5 if I could, because I love Patti and enjoyed reading this book. I'm a little younger than the age she mainly talks about so I skipped out on the marriage ending and will be saving it for years to come. Overall, Patti is indeed old fashioned, and you might find this difficult to deal with while reading, but remember old fashioned is actually a good thing. She is honest and funny when making every one of her points and covers everything very well including online datin ...more
Aug 09, 2014 Nichole rated it liked it
Not surprisingly, this book was full of a bunch of stuff that made me roll my eyes BUT there were some valuable pieces of information that I was able to pull out for future use. Probably the most valuable thing was her section on where to meet men - a LOT of them were places I would've never thought of. It's a quick read, worth it as long as you can take it with a giant grain of salt and filter out the garbage ;)
May 10, 2009 Christine rated it really liked it
Though I'm already matched, I was tempted to read this book after watching Patti's Bravo show. In my opinion, Patti's 'rules' are more logical and easily applied than other major bestsellers in this category. This is a fun easy read that made me appreciate all the more what a perfect husband my spouse is.
Aug 31, 2014 Shelley rated it it was amazing
Foodfic musing - not a traditional review:
Jan 23, 2017 Janne rated it liked it
I've watched pretty much every single episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker since stumbling across it on late-night TV when I was 16 or something, so I thought it was about time I gave her some of my money. This book was... interesting. I'm mostly fascinated with how strong of a character she is, and the first chapter was almost like reading the origin story of a superhero, in that you got to find out where all her famous catchphrases and dating rules came from. The rest of the book was a bit of ...more
Jun 19, 2017 Anita rated it liked it
Some good advice and strategies on how to life hack your way into a spouse. At some point, you just gotta say, okay. This works. This is good enough. It’s cool. Understand what’s really important to you. What really matters and, if that person has that in spades, you don’t have to think about anything else. Count yourself grateful and appreciate the company.

I’m going to try some of these tips and will report back. For now, here is a list the author recommended I make — my five non-negotiable tra
Emily Schirmer
Jul 23, 2014 Emily Schirmer rated it did not like it
I decided not to finish this book soon after I started it (I got about 100 pages in). Not because I completely disagreed with Patti’s advice. Not because I am bitter, cynical, or upset that I don’t fit the description of outer beauty, which she explains is equally important in finding a partner as inner beauty. In fact, I have great hair, a perfect smile, I exercise daily, I have a pretty face and wear minimal makeup, and I’m happy. So basically, according to Patti, I’m rocking it.

I give her cr
Nov 15, 2014 Latarsha rated it really liked it
I've never read a self-help book in my entire life. Ever. For anything. But even I can see my dating life is starting to resemble the sinking of the Titanic so who can give better advice on how to stop taking on water than Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker?

I have to say, this book was a lot better than I expected. Like a whole lot better. I got some tips into what men are really saying when they do certain things that frankly I wish I had known these things 10 years ago. I probably would
Mar 31, 2013 Claire rated it really liked it
People underestimate these relationship get-your-guy advice books: I started reading them after a break-up, not to get a new man but because most of them advise various exercises to rid yourself of past relationship baggage and clarify your intentions before proceeding with the pursuit-of-him steps. Since you can portions of the book instead of the whole book (in e-books), I was tempted to just buy the first two chapters for the Dating Detox and finding my type, but then elected to buy the whole ...more
Lisa Dillman
Mar 07, 2014 Lisa Dillman rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I wish I would've read this in my early 20s...Though I probably wouldn't have been as open to a lot of information when I was younger (rejecting things left & right for being too conservative & thinking that "this isn't how things work anymore" or whatever), so much of the book is just great details about dating that I either didn't know, realize, learned the hard way, or thought *it was just mean.* I think I would've maintained a couple of quality relationships or possibly given people ...more
May 11, 2013 Crystal rated it it was ok
Shelves: non-fiction
I picked up this book because my friend is a fan of Patti Stanger and the Millionaire Matchmaker show. It's very heteronormative, monogamy-based, and treats landing a husband as the ultimate goal. Here are some things I've learned:

*Patti Stranger is a devoted fan of astrology and colonics/cleansers. "These days it's not uncommon for a group of women to treat themselves to a good colonic...It really makes you feel fresh and new to shed all those nasty toxins that are clawing around inside you." U
Nov 28, 2012 Kim rated it liked it
Love her or love to hate her, Patti Stanger is interesting. That's what makes her show on Bravo so successful. I enjoy her show so much that I decided to check out her book just for kicks.

Not all of her advice going to work for you, but a lot of it is pretty sound. She is dead right about oxytocin, the lack of eligible bachelors on the East Coast, and she provides interesting suggestions about where to meet men. She also gives some practical (and easy!) exercises that you can do to identify what
If you're a fan of Patti's show on Bravo, I'd definitely recommend this book. Patti has some dating rules that should be common sense yet she holds them as deal breakers for any romantic relationship success;
"No sex before monogamy" stands out at the moment?

While I find Patti entertaining, it's hard to fully take what she says to heart as she has not had the best success for herself romantically. She says she comes from a family line of matchmakers? Guess when your business is based on finding l
Aug 03, 2012 Disha added it
I have always been against "dating" books because they tend to focus on the "rules". However, there is something unique and fascinating about Patti and her approach towards dating and relationships. I have enjoyed watching her show and thought why not read her book as well. She doesn't disappoint AT ALL! In fact, she gives a lot of tough love for all the single ladies out there. She refers back to a lot of examples from her personal and client's experiences. I am so glad I picked up this book be ...more
Colleen Wainwright
I highly doubt I'd find my own perfect mate using Patti Stanger's advice—but then again, I'm not sure I'm up for a mate, period, perfect or not. That said, she offers some very straightforward and, I'd grant her, dead-on advice for a particular type of lady seeking a particular type of marriage. And not necessarily the gold-digging, strike-it-rich kind you might suspect from something that looks this mercenary from the outside. Much of what she says is the kind of commonsense stuff that still tr ...more
Mar 19, 2009 Liz rated it it was ok
I found the first two chapters to be really good and think all women should read them. However, there are parts of the book that instructs the reader to play games with guys. One example I found absolutely ridiculous was the 'A Pair and a spare' in Chapter 5. This is where women should (preferrably at all times) have a best straight guy friend, The Big Maybe and The One You really Like. So you pretty much lead two guys along while hoping that the guy you really like will get jealous of the other ...more
Shirin Abdel Rahman
She is a matchmaker, one of the best actually, she runs a successful matchmaking businessman exclusive service for millionaire and has her own reality TV show.
she is doing both jobs a dating coach + matchmaking , in the book she starts from the beginning ,how to take care of yourself when it comes to appearance, dieting and working out, then the second part how to be realistic about what you expect from Mr right, then how to land the man of your dream.
3rd part: dating do and do not, how to know
Apr 24, 2010 Douglas rated it it was amazing
Shelves: relationships
I recently watched the first season of the Millionaire matchmaker because I am starting a matchmaking company with and was hoping to get some great insight. Initially, I thought the show would be stupid and cheesy, but surprisingly, I found the show to be very entertaining and, admittedly, I agreed 100% with everything she recommended - except the no sex before being exclusive.

Her book is a solid read. I read this in less than three days and she even advocates the prenup for wome
Aug 09, 2014 CharityJ rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-improvement
If you like Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker series, you'll like this book.

Just like in her show, Stanger uses a no-nonsense, tough love approach to dating. She gives you concrete strategies for determining what it is you really want in a partner, explains in detail relationship stages as well as gives you clues to determine how serious it is, when to break it off and more. While there are some takeaways for men this is really for women. Quick read, funny and you come away feeling empowered and i
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