For Matthew Fry, inventor of the 'Sly Guy' haircut, life at the North Pole just isn't what he expected. The elves are way too obsessed with playing...
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Dec 15, 2008
Gary
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Whenever you think you've seen/read it all, there is always Carlton Mellick III and the rest of his Bizarro Fiction ilk to take you everywhere you never knew you wanted to go. Put simply, Bizarro Fiction is Science Fiction for people "too cool" to ever admit that they like Science Fiction. Put a bit more esotericly, Bizarro Fiction is the novel equivalent of a Troma film written by a young Peter Jackson, produced by Roger Corman, and directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis.
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Dec 25, 2011
Sheldon
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If there's one thing that you should take away from Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III, it's probably that you should never marry a woman named Decapitron because she will annihilate you.
"Sly Guy" Matthew Fry is in such a predicament. He marries a dominatrix who calls herself Decapitron, who is also into ultimate fighting by night (you can guess what her signature move is just by her name). But now it's Christmas Eve, and their family is together to share in her Christma More...
"Sly Guy" Matthew Fry is in such a predicament. He marries a dominatrix who calls herself Decapitron, who is also into ultimate fighting by night (you can guess what her signature move is just by her name). But now it's Christmas Eve, and their family is together to share in her Christma More...
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Aug 01, 2011
Anthony
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This story kept reminding me of an adult Christmas episode of "Adventure Time with Finn & Jake."
It was amazingly wild, Mellick's imagery, characters and writing were just spot on.
Sausagey Santa is an awesome bizarro reworking of the night before Christmas. Sly Guy Fry, his wild MMA death fighter of a wife named Decapitron, and their children go to bed Christmas Eve after hearing the story of Sausagey Santa, and awaken in the middle of the night to hear Sausagey Sant More...
It was amazingly wild, Mellick's imagery, characters and writing were just spot on.
Sausagey Santa is an awesome bizarro reworking of the night before Christmas. Sly Guy Fry, his wild MMA death fighter of a wife named Decapitron, and their children go to bed Christmas Eve after hearing the story of Sausagey Santa, and awaken in the middle of the night to hear Sausagey Sant More...
Jul 30, 2011
Deathraceking
rated it:
An absurd little jaunt into Bizarro-land during the yuletide, Christmas, or Jesus’ birthday – whichever you may call it; Carlton Mellick III presents a comical, yet disturbing take on the traditional holiday tale. “Sausagey Santa” is the novel-version of what the best holiday-themed action-movie would be like. Similar to Mellick’s other works, there is method to the madness. The traditional Christmas fairy tale proposes a kind of forced moral value down the throats of families everywhere – the t
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Dec 18, 2008
Jeff
rated it:
Kris Kringle was a tyrant who hated children and Jesus, so God punished him by making him Santa Claus -- an immortal doomed to spend eternity giving presents to children all over the world. He hated this so much that he kept attempting suicide but could not die. Finally he put his body through a meat grinder -- but he still could not die. The elves stuffed all his meat into sausage casings and assembled them into the shape of a man, with olives for eyes and walnuts for teeth.
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Oct 14, 2011
Sarah
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This is definitely a Christmas tale of a different color. "Sausagey Santa" is a bizarro novella complete with a Nazi Snowman, a pirate Santa filled with ground-up meat and horny elves with hyperspace panties. What more can one ask for? Matt "Sly Guy" Fry must help Santa defeat the evil Frosty and save Christmas. Very funny, violent and bizarre. Oh yeah, some zombies show up, as well. I enjoyed this immensely.
Dec 04, 2008
Bill
rated it:
At 112 pages this book is a very quick read, but it's just the right length for raving, dark humor. If you enjoyed Evil Dead II and Green Jellÿ's Cereal Killer album you'll snort eggnog though your nose when you read this. WARNING: THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR THE REASONABLY OFFENDED (that's roughly double the skin thickness of the easily offended).
Apr 26, 2011
Dustin
rated it:
I don't know why, maybe it's the imagery, or the complete bizarro overhaul of Santa Claus and CHristmas in general, but I think this is Carlton Mellick's best book. It is so damn funny I freaked out my three year old laughing out loud like a lunatic one night while reading it. She cried.
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Nov 19, 2008
David
rated it:
With all the complaining by conservatives that there's a "war on Christmas," this book would sort them out right quick. Holiday themed techno-war saving-Christmas adventure that really is for the whole twisted family! This might be my favorite CM3 book.
Oct 25, 2011
Laura
rated it: 
I sat down and read this in one sitting, as is so easy to do with Mellick's work. What fun!! I liked this much more than Razor Wire Pubic Hair but not as much as Baby Jesus Butt Plug which I think was much deeper (albeit in a very demented way). It is nothing if not deeply strange, but I enjoyed it -- rollicking good fun, to be sure! My favorite line, by far: "I have no idea what the fuck just happened to my reality." Made me laugh out loud -- I've had moments of thinking like that! O
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Dec 15, 2010
Craig
rated it:
This one was a lot of fun and more of what I imagined the bizarro genre to be like.
Opening line of the book: "I never should have married a woman named Decapitron." Good advice, indeed.
Opening line of the book: "I never should have married a woman named Decapitron." Good advice, indeed.
Dec 23, 2010
Sam
rated it:
loved the Sly Guy, and his Sly Guy Haircut.... so much like me...
a wonderful christmas read! also, look up Rare Exports, Inc. on the web for two awesome short films that go well with the season!
a wonderful christmas read! also, look up Rare Exports, Inc. on the web for two awesome short films that go well with the season!
Jan 04, 2011
Grant
rated it:
Sausagey Santa is the perfect book to snuggle up with around Christmas. It's jam packed with horny elves, a loveable sausage santa, and a nefarious hitler snowman.
If you're ever looking for a stocking stuffer this is it.
If you're ever looking for a stocking stuffer this is it.
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Nov 26, 2009
Marvin
rated it:
Bizarre to the extreme, intentionally camp (I think), and not all that funny.
Apr 19, 2011
Tasha-Lynn
rated it:
Every time I pick up a CM3 book I have no idea what to expect...Every time I finish one, I am always amazed at the kinds of things that come out of this man's brain. I loved this book just like Ive loved all the rest. Fun randomness that never makes sense...Take the craziest stuff you can imagine and then top off with a hit of acid. I dont know how else to describe it! Great stuff Mr Mellick! :)
Dec 27, 2011
Daniel
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I have to read this every year around Christmas time. It puts me in the holiday spirit.
Dec 21, 2010
William
rated it:
This has to be one of the most hilarious and creative books I have ever read. It definitely is an alternative look at Santa Claus I have seen. If you like zombies, elves, ass kicking, freaky sex and warrior women in reindeer suits then this book is for you. I definitely need to get my wife some Hyperspace panties!
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