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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

3.83 of 5 stars 3.83  ·  rating details  ·  8,225 ratings  ·  427 reviews
On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?--infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations.

Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from
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Kindle Edition, 295 pages
Published (first published January 1st 2004)
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Heza
LEVEL ONE

What is Carlin's main complaint in this book?
The softening of words to fit a more adverse society.

What was Carlin's ideal way to die?
His head exploding on the crosstown bus.
(Just in case that drives anyone to look up his death like it did to me, he died of heart failure.)


LEVEL TWO

Why is "word softening" so bad?
It takes away the actual meaning of what it's being used to describe. For example, what we now know as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder used to be simply "Shell Shock". Makes sense,
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HeavyReader
I have always enjoyed George Carlin's rants and miss him now that he's dead in that way I miss famous people that I never really knew (like Dr. Seuss and Jim Henson and Richard Pryor). So I thought I would read something that Carlin wrote, laugh a bit, lament the loss.

Well.

This book kind of stunk. Sure, there were some parts of it that were amusing (especially some of the rants about language), but mostly it was just boring. It was so boring that I couldn't even force myself to read it all. That
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Chris
This is pretty much what you expect from Carlin - acerbic, abrasive, disrespectful, challenging language that doesn't give a good goddamn what anyone else thinks. Which means there'll definitely be something in there that you disagree with, and probably something that pisses you off. Not me, of course. When I watched the South Park movie, at the abortion joke from The Mole, the entire theatre was dead silent except for me in the back row, cackling. I have a very broad sense of humor.

Anyway, if y
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Kaitlyn Henderson
I have a hard time when people tell me this book was "just okay" or "funny here and there" because I found the entire book to be completely hilarious, insightful, challenging, and satirical. It's Carlin, so there's going to be parts in the book people will disagree with or find politically incorrect, but that's other people. I didn't once disagree with a word Carlin said in the book. In fact, as is usual when I read/watch Carlin, he opened my eyes on some things and made me think. That's what I ...more
Savvas Katseas
I picked this one up because I love Carlin's work. He's as good as it gets if you prefer your stand-up comedy mixed with a bit of clever thinking.

Most reviewers stress two facts:
a) it's not that funny and
b) it's not "a book", it's filled with one-liners

Both of which are true. But then again, if all you're looking for is "fun", why pick up Carlin in the first place? He's mostly known for his subversive, insulting humor. The same seems to be true if you're not looking for one-liners but an actual
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Dave
George Carlin has long been one of my favorite comedians (although, he kind of lost freshness around the time that "Toledo Windowbox" came out). Until this, I have never read any of his books, though. To call this a funny book would be about 50% correct, as it is, indeed, a book. Mildly comic was his riff on how UFO buffs get a bum rap and people that believe in an invisible God Who demands their love get total respect from the media. But that was fairly early on in the book and after that was o ...more
Madalina
I am prejudiced, I'll admit, the title&cover just about made my day. Even if you ignore the fact that it insults the three biggest religions (Christianity, Islam and Judaism), the anachronistic cranky mug of author himself in the middle of "Last Supper" truly gets the message across. Two stars, this book stars at at two stars plus.

I am thoroughly prejudiced, indeed... but then again, I am in college.

Star number three: GET THE AUDIOBOOK. George Carlin (RIP) was a stand-up comedian and there
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Becky
I really like George Carlin (R.I.P) but this was... not up to his usual standards. I expected vulgar, irreverent, offensive and abrasive - it wouldn't be Carlin if it wasn't, but I was kind of disappointed with it. It reminded me a lot of I Am America by Stephen Colbert. Truthfully, Colbert probably ganked a lot of his material from this book, because it was so similar. If I had read this one first, I'd have probably liked it better. OK, maybe not. Every time Carlin would get onto a good bashin' ...more
Katy
I wish I could give this one 2 and 1/2 stars, but you can't do halfs so I rounded up because I like George Carlin.

I'm a huge fan of his act, loved him in Bill and Ted's excient adventures. I think he was the first crude comiden I watched outside of Monty Python. The problem I had with this one was that it got old. A lot of what he wrote was just stupid. I would say pointless, but its comedy, not all things funny need to have a point. Really though, a lot of it wasn't even funny so it was pointl
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Benjamin
Hear are some things you should not say if you encounter a comedian. First: If you're with another person at the time, don't say to your friend, "You better watch out, he'll put you in one of his skits." We don't like that. It's not funny. And, by the way, we don't do skits. Second: If you meet him while you're at your job, do not say, "You oughta work here, you'd get a lot of material." It's not true. Just because you work with a bunch of simpletons, doesn't mean it translates into comedy. Thir ...more
C.C. Thomas
This was Carlin's third book and while it is terribly funny, this was also biting. I winced in several spots instead of laughing. Carlin is clearly not a fan of organized religion so if you're the least bit religious, you might just get offended. Of course, if you're reading Carlin, that's probably just an expectation!

My favorite sections are always his euphemisms and he doesn't fail to deliver here. This book, though, had a different tone. The focus was less on being funny and more on observing
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Patrick Gibson
Some good Carlin bits in here. Sound zingers on politics, religion, consumerism, language, and the foibles of everyday life. Carlin remains one of the few intellectually honest comedians (pundits? observers?) in that he bashes liberals and conservatives with equal gusto. He don't care if you Red or Blue... if you're a self-important hypocrite, he'll let you know.

Unfortunately, as Carlin got older, he got crankier, more bitter, and less funny. He's still better than most, but sometimes seems so
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CluckingBell
I've read or heard so many pithy, one-sentence George Carlin lines---not what I would call jokes, because they always seemed too substantive to be classified that simply---that I thought now that I'm older I'd have a good chance at really appreciating his humor. And it's very possible that I would still enjoy his stand-up. But I did not enjoy this book.

It started off a little hit or miss, so I thought it just needed to build up its momentum, but by the third disc (of six) it was just dull, repe
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Ruben
A fun read, and classic Carlin wit. This book is basically a collection of random thoughts, opinions, and observations (i.e. "rants") that drive Carlin mad! I will admit, I had some trouble sticking with the book due to jarring flow of the format (no chapters...random headings which are unidentifiable as main headings, sub headings, etc.,). But reading some of Carlin's rants was enjoyable since so many of them are clearly overlooked by us all--specifically how we all try to make things sound mor ...more
Anna
I'm not going to lie, I had a few epileptic fits of laughter whilst listening to the audio version of the book, not to mention these lovely spontaneous fits only seemed to happen on a crowded train at 6A.M. on my way to school. Hell of a way to start the day isn't it?

Now back to the awesomeness that is George Carlin. I've watched a few of his stand-up comedy shows over the years, and I always found him hilarious, but up until recently I had no idea he was a writer. Probably since whenever I walk
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Zac
Sometimes uneven. There are parts that are simply brilliant and everyone should read, and there are parts that are just funny if you're in the right mood. Carlin, like Shakespeare, is usually better in the performance than the reading.
There is a lot of the complaining dirty old man shtick. There's also playing not so much with absurdities of society as absurdities of language and expectations. A running theme starts off complaining about euphemistic language sterilizing and dumbing down society,
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Annette
Not for the faint-hearted, Carlin's http://www.georgecarlin.com/ strong language will probably offend almost everyone at some point. However language use is the main focus of Carlin's comedy and writing. He leads me to examine some of the motives and concepts that underpin our use of legitimate words. As he stated to CNN's Todd Leopold http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books... "try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some go ...more
Wendy
Es muy bueno, sarcastico y bien gracioso. Lo recomiendo. Pero, ojo, es super sarcastico y politically incorrect, asi que no es para los que se ofenden con facilidad.
Jessica
I think George Carlin may have done enough drugs that his mind started resembling swiss cheese and I offer up this book as evidence of said batshittery.

It is pages upon pages of him complaining about the fact that words and language have changed over time. Now, one of my favorite routines of his was when he was talking about PTSD and how over the years the softening of the language from shellshock made it easier for American’s to ignore or sweep under the rug the rampant issue associated with wa
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Jill Hutchinson
Carlin made me laugh when he appeared as "Al Sleet, the Hippy Dippy Weatherman" on late night television way back in the day......I have been a fan ever since. This book, much like his others is profane, acerbic, and just plain hilarious. Nobody could take the American experience and turn it on its head like Carlin. His humor was surreal and slightly off-center and it can offend if this is your first exposure to him. It's not for everyone but I certainly get a kick out of it. I miss him!
David Tan
This is the quintessential iteration of much of my applied philosophy of life. The sections on "Free-Floating Hostility" and "Education" pretty much sum up the cynical pessimism that I view the world. As depressing as many of the subjects, his wit in parlaying the opinions he holds grabs the reader and puts a hilarious spin on them without pulling any punches. Excerpts of the above sections can also be found at http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/George_C...
Bryan Wood
If you have never read George Carlin's work, start now! I think people open this book expecting it to be a non-stop laugh comedy. Some parts of it are funny, but I think the intent was really just to get people to stop taking everything so seriously. Stop and take a moment to see the world through Carlin's eyes - I think he lived in a fun state of mind!
Jim
Of the three books of his I've listened to, this one was the best & pretty much encompassed the other two. His humor sometimes goes over the edge into peevishness. Other times I disagree so completely that his rant becomes a sad statement, but for the most part I liked & agreed with his sentiments. He truly had a great way of looking at our world.
Vorbis
I didn't really enjoy this. I took it with me to the swimming pool where my 4yr old played for three and a quarter hours. Three hours. Sitting on a table in a sweltering indoor pool complex. Usually heaven for any parent with a book - I had a book. I read perhaps 50 pages of it. It's not one you can get lost in. A bathroom book perhaps? Where you pick it up, read a few paragraphs, put it down.

There's no story, no particular flow of ideas to the skits in here. His ideas are clever, but after too
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Edwin García, Esq.
Mar 23, 2015 Edwin García, Esq. rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: adults, not easily offended
Shelves: humor
I own both the hardcover and the audiobook. My reaction is different depending on the format. There are two things to consider here, the: humor and writing. As to the humor, this is a subjective experience for every reader. With the exception of a one liner regarding a musical Christmas vibrator (p. 17), I did not laugh out loud. Instead, my reactions were a mix of mild grins and slight chuckles. For me, the humor was mild when read. My introduction to When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? was ...more
Jeanette  "Astute Crabbist"
You have to like George Carlin, of course. I always find parts of his books hilarious, and other parts not so funny, but I always get plenty of good laughs. He's not afraid to be politically incorrect, but he's an equal opportunity offender. He picks on everyone!
Darrin
Not the sort of book you read cover to cover. More of a coffee table book that you pick up and read a few pages when you need a laugh or some provocative reading.

Not for the easily offended. Conversatives may not get some of the humor.
No Remorse
Pretty funny book, nothing compares to George Carlins stand-up though. Mostly writings about the slaughter of the English language. Buying this book just for the 1 page on tips for serial killers was worth it, that was great.
Marie
Since "Braindroppings" is one of my favorite books, I was so dissapointed when this one turned out to be more along the lines of a collection of rants from an angry old man. It just wasn't funny.
Jim
I didn't enjoy this book as much as Carlin's first two but I'm giving it the same number of stars because Goodreads doesn't do half-stars. The problems with this book, in my opinion, are two-fold: the first one is that it came at a point in Carlin's career when he was much more of an angry old man, which is still funny but less in a side-splitting way and more in the way grumpy old men are funny; and secondly, a fair amount of jokes are repeated not just from the first two books but also from ot ...more
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George Denis Patrick Carlin was a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and philosopher.

Carlin was especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which
...more
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Napalm & Silly Putty Brain Droppings Last Words 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Recent Grammy Winners Braindroppings and Napalm & Silly Putty

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“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” 6216 likes
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.” 627 likes
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