The Connected Child
"...an extremely useful parenting handbook... truly outstanding ... strongly recommended."
--Library Journal (starred review)
"A tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike."
--Thomas Atwood, president and CEO, National Council for Adoption
The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challe...more
1- Too often parents and experts look at behavioral disorders as if they they existed separate from sensory impairments, separate from attention difficulties, separate from childhood deprivation, neurological damage, attachment disorders, post traumatic stress; and so on. You should take a more holistic approach...more
The surprising humble,and highly emotional pie I ate while reading it was this: Dr. Purvis is kind to suggest the kind of parenting it takes to successfully parent children from "hard places" is just that: mere kindness. The fact is, her parenting strategies would make every child a happier, more connected, more well adjusted child.
And if every parent practiced the kind...more
I had a few concerns about this book. Like other books in this genre, the quotes from satisfied patients suggest that this specific team, and t...more
1. As parents we want to be lenient and affectionate enough that children feel safe to explore and try new things, yet we need to be strict enough that children can navigate the world safely and appropriately, with respect for authority.
2. Adopted and foster children need lots of individualized, focused time with their parents in order to catch up developmentally and to form close and loyal family bonds.
3. Watch and study your child's behavior. What is your c...more
Really, the parenting techniques mentioned throughout the book would be helpful to any parent wanting to co...more
My one criticism was the phrasing of some of the positive comments. I just can't picture myself complimenting a child with stuff like "Good asking for per...more
I liked the "re-do's": Let's try that again. Guide the child in an upbeat, playful and fun manner. Re-do's are not punishment, but instruction. If necessary, demo the re-do. Let the child copy the re-do one or more times. Praise the child lavishly and sincerely upon completion of the corrected act.
Things that don't work: time-outs, questioning about why the child did something (makes him defensive, he'...more
Here's a few of the gems I found personally beneficial:
1)A lot of my daughter's behaviors that drive me insane aren't her personality--it's a result of where she began and are coping/survival mechanisms. I actually was surprised at how many behavio...more
This excellent book is easy to read and lays out its suggestions in a really informative way. I definitely plan to incorporate some of its techniques into our home.
I have to admit that it is *the best* information I've read on attachment thus far. A must read for preadoptive parents. My husband and I can't wait to go to the Empowered to Connect conference where we hope to glean even more wisdom from Dr. Purvis.
While it is clearly targeted at parents who are fostering or adopting, there are enough strategies that fit all kids to make it worth a read for most parents. Even if I never adopt (or parent at all) this book was worth my time just for the strategies it gave me for helping my students.
I've been using some of the suggestions with the children I interact with through my volunteer position with the local Children's Aid Society (i.e....more