The Opposite of Love
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The Opposite of Love

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3.72 of 5 stars 3.72  ·  rating details  ·  2,206 ratings  ·  388 reviews
With perfect pitch for the humor and heartbreak of everyday life, debut author Julie Buxbaum has fashioned a heroine who will be instantly recognizable to anyone who has loved and lost and loved again.

When twenty-nine-year-old Manhattan attorney Emily Haxby ends her happy relationship just as her boyfriend is about to propose, she can’t explain to even her closest friends...more
Paperback, 303 pages
Published June 9th 2009 by Dial Press Trade Paperback (first published January 1st 2008)
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Allison
Nov 18, 2007 Allison rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: Anyone who likes smart women's fiction
I was lucky enough to get my hands on an ARC of this book - due to hit stores in January 2008 - and I wasn't disappointed. An honest, believable portrayal of a 29-year old woman who is paralyzed by life and who has to find the nerves and strength within herself to literally move forward. Very touching, smart and well-written. I expect this will be a huge book come 2008.
Jenie
Jun 20, 2008 Jenie rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: anyone
I was leery of reading another voyage of self-discovery book after the self-involved garbage of Patti Callahan Henry's Between the Tides, but Buxbaum gets right every single thing Henry does not, with none of the missteps and narcissism. Her heroine, Em, is someone you could know and like in real life. She has flaws and quirks and the capacity to care for others, even when she is being bitchy. Which isn't that often. Here is a woman I felt actually modeled on real life, who breathes through pros...more
Kelsey
Just finished reading this first novel and really wasn't that crazy about it. It's the story of a 29 year-old lawyer, Emily, struggling to find herself (fix her relationship, her job, her family).

Best part of the book: First line of chapter 1: "Last night, I dreamt that I chopped Andrew up into a hundred little pieces, like a Benihana chef, and ate them, one by one." Also, I liked the cold relationship she has with her father.

Worst parts of the book: The extensive use of cliches throughout the n...more
Jill
Mar 14, 2008 Jill rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Jill by: tommy
I'm not sure I've ever had this same experience where I'm reading a book and thinking, "how does this author know exactly what my life is like?" But the truth is, it doesn't matter that many of the details aren't exactly the same-- what matters is that Ms. Buxbaum captures so many universal feelings in a realistic, true and contemporary way. At first I thought, I have to make sure all my girlfriends from law school, the firm, and after read this; but truth be told, this is a great, engaging, hea...more
N.T.
Jun 22, 2008 N.T. rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: mothers, daughters, grandpa lovers, elderly, 30somethings, lawyers
This book really got me, brought me in -- where a title like that can rarely get my attention.

The characters, and main character Emily, were endearing, funny, their own voice, brought to life, and surrounded and engulfed Emily in a way that rang true.

There were many heart tearing moments, surprising me constantly, and a deep exploration at other moments that left me blushing or feeling as if it hit very close to home.

There has been a theme of leaving or losing on purpose (or forcefully) an unhe...more
Carol
This is a debut novel that got a lot of attention in review journals, etc so I have had in on my TBR list for a long time. I wasn’t disappointed. Emily is a 29-year old lawyer frustrated with her job as a litigation attorney. Her relationship with her father is strained, her beloved grandfather is ill and she has just broken up with the perfect boyfriend. Emily’s comments often made me smile and I even had a few tears during reading this book. Definitely a step above the chick lit/single women's...more
Karen
Dec 25, 2007 Karen rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: llovers of women's fiction
I really enjoyed this book. It reminded me a little of Lolly Winston or Sarah Dunn, but with its own distinct voice. I like books that are funny (without being too biting) and wise, and this one fit the bill.

There is has been a lot pre-pub buzz surrounding this novel and it definitely lives up to expectations.
Sarah
Not my genre of choice, but it is a fine choice for a beach read/travel book...meaty chick lit. Very funny characters, and surprisingly realitstically writen. If I met the author, I can safely assume I won't see someone wearing pink and carrying around bridal magazines.
Annabelle
Feb 17, 2008 Annabelle rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: Fans of Marion Keys and Shannon Olson
After raising my testosterone levels with Five Skies, I craved something more girly. This has been billed as "smart chick-lit," actually a pretty accurate description. While the framework is stale--a 29-year-old New York lawyer who just dumped her boyfriend and hates her job has a quarter-life crisis--I thought the writing had surprising depth. The main character is haunted by her mother's death, struggles with her grandfather's illness and is believably conflicted about her relationship with he...more
Paul
i liked this book. didn't love it. there is some fine writing along the way and the first sentence is killer, as they say. but i found the plot less than compelling. the book flips the modern chick lit book on its head and for that, it's to be commended. instead of a nyc woman trying to get it all -- the guy, the career, the apartment -- the protagonist here (emily) has it all and throws it away in a fit of ennui. well, okay, she does not ditch the apartment -- she's not completely crazy. there...more
Ginny Marie
I've read a lot of books written by graduates of law school, and they all seem to be good authors. Why is that? Is it because they have to write thousands of pages for research, motions, briefs, and all those other lawyer documents? Or is it because they have a feel for good dialogue due to taking depositions? Whatever it is, this book was very enjoyable. My favorite line from the book is in a description of Emily's pregnancy: "now that I got to play my part as a Russian nested doll," reminding...more
Angeld01
I randomly picked this up at the library and it was so good. Some of the themes were definitely covered territory.

A successful lawyer uncertain of her relationship, her career and her sense of family. But I really enjoyed Buxbaum's writing. She was gentle and compassionate in her story of Emily.

Of course too, I really enjoyed Emily's relationship with Grandpa Jack. It was really special and caused other supportive relationships in her life, such as the one with Ruth.

I look forward to the career...more
Karen
How could I not read this book? The author and I went to the same school as undergrads, then we both went to law school, and she places her main character in NYC as a 5th year associate at a large law firm. Buxbaum did a beautiful job at capturing the feeling of working at such a firm - the camaraderie between certain associates; the dread of working with certain partners, and the mind-numbing hours.



I also loved her writing style. Her use of language was lovely, and I found myself re-reading so...more
Drew
Emily Haxby is lost. She breaks up with her boyfriend of two years because she thinks he is going to propose (she's right, he was about to). Her job at a prestigious law firm is far less than satisfying, especially after one of the partners makes unwanted sexual advances. Her mother died when she was fourteen and she's never had an open relationship with her father (lying to each other about life is just what they do). The one person in life who has always been there for Emily is her Grandpa Jac...more
Juliann Whicker
I avoid books on the holocaust, about cancer, anything that's going to leave me a sodden wreck for hours afterwards. It's too much reality for my fiction. This book has a line about the 'feel-good movie that turns into a cry-fest' and while I didn't tear up, and it did leave me wanting to eat pie with my relatives it was still way too sad to be called, 'hilarious and heartwarming'.

That aside, it was certainly well-written and the characters were well-drawn. It wasn't simple but at the same time...more
Francesca
Ho scoperto Julie Buxbaum assolutamente per caso, l'anno scorso, girovagando tra gli scaffali delle libreria di un anobiano e sono stata subito attratta dal titolo e dalla trama del suo secondo romanzo "Dopo di te". L'ho comprato poco tempo dopo e l'ho vissuto, non semplicemente letto, sono entrata letteralmente nella trama del libro e ho vissuto sulla mia pelle e nel mio cuore tutte le emozioni che vivevano la protagonista e i personaggi che giravano intorno a lei.
Quando l'ho finito sono subito...more
Katie
In Buxbaum's debut novel, readers are introduced to Emily Haxby, a 29-year-old lawyer with a great sense of humor, though slightly depressing outlook on life. Realizing her boyfriend is on the verge of proposing, Emily decides to initiate a breakup. She has no reason for what she's done, and when her friends demand answers, Emily finds herself at a loss. But Emily's life is full of things to occupy her. Her grandfather, Grandpa Jack, is as ornery as ever, but is becoming more and more forgetful....more
Nikole
Emily Haxby is going through changes. First she splits from her long term boyfriend, then she up and quits her job…and is abruptly faced with the looming reality of quickly losing her beloved grandfather. It’s a lot for one girl to handle.

Julie Buxbaum does an excellent job at conveying the “quarter life crisis” that many 20-30 somethings experience, and she does an even better job at allowing both Emily and the reader come to an understanding as to at least some of the reasons for Emily’s curre...more
The Itzel Library
¡Pañuelos desechables por favor!

He llorado como no se imaginan con esta novela, sufrí con Emily, con Andrew, me divertí con Jack, en fin…

Emily es abogada y odia a su jefe (yo lo odiaría también), es hija única, huérfana de madre, con su papá no tiene una comunicación muy buena que digamos. La persona a la que más quiere es a su abuelo Jack, que por si fuera poco, está muriéndose…

Un día, Emily se da cuenta que no puede seguir adelante con la relación que lleva con Andrew, su novio. Aunque ambos s...more
Rebecca
I liked the story in this book except for the ending. The ending is what ever girl wants in life, but sorry sister! Rarely happens. But it’s endings like this that makes girls have hope when they are wasting time thinking this. The story starts with the Girl dumping her boyfriend because she doesn’t want him to propose because she is scared. She then spends the rest of the book, sort of casually trying to get him back and eventually, for some reason, she does. I liked the protag a lot except for...more
ICPL Staff Picks
What is the opposite of love? Hate? Indifference? Anger? This is the question Emily Haxby seeks to answer in the debut novel by Julie Buxbaum. Emily is a successful young attorney who works in a large law firm in Manhattan. She ends her seemingly happy relationship with her boyfriend just as he is about to propose. Emily realizes she must come to terms with personal issues before she can commit to anything long-term. Her issues include work on a lawsuit that tests her values, a creepy boss who c...more
Margaret
To be fair, I was probably biased against this book from the start because it was tarred with the "chick-lit" brush, which for me is never a selling point but rather the opposite. That having been said, I really did not care for this book. I often found the prose to be quite clunky, but for once the writing style was not my chief complaint with a title in the chick-lit genre. I could not find much, if any, sympathy for the protagonist. Not that I am saying that all protagonists have to be 100% l...more
Lindsay
I love smart chick lit books. They are the ones that don't scream chick lit, but really they still are. The cover isn't pink and girlie, and the main character actually has a brain and doesn't need to rely on a guy or endless shopping to make her happy. This is one of those books. Even though it is about love and realizing that you had the right person when you no longer had them.


Emily breaks up with her boyfriend Andrew when she gets the feeling that he's going to ask her to marry him. Andrew...more
Maria Khalid
My main issue with this book was the plot. The writing otherwise was good and I loved the beginning of it and the ending. But somewhere in the middle, I was wondering, "what is the point of this book?" There are parts that are very funny and amusing and there are parts that read like a therapy session. In the end all I can say is I have mixed feelings about it. The book is about a girl who breaks up with her boyfriend because she knows he's about to propose to her and she's scared, not of the co...more
Maltaise
29 year old attorney Emily Pratt has no concept of what she wants in life. To some it appears that she has it all, an attractive physician doctor and a promising career in a big law firm. We have all faced the quandry of is this what we want from life? But few of else ever pull the plug.

Much to everyone's surprise and dismay Emily has the never to dump her boyfriend and her career. Although who wouldn't when the partner books a single room with one bed when you go half way across the country to...more
Winna
I got this book at a big sale at the bookstore and was caught off guard by the sheer simplicity of the cover, but really it was the synopsis that made me buy it.

Now that I finally got around to reading it, and perfect timing too since it's almost Christmas, suffice to say it blew me away. I love all the characters, perfectly flawed but not succumbing to the verge of annoyance. It's like I can understand them, get into their heads, each and every one of them. I like that Emily has a few good frie...more
Julie
I thought this was an amazing debut novel. Lots of interesting, complex characters and relationships. At the beginning of the book, Emily makes a rash decision that she later realizes was terribly wrong, but she can't quickly make it right again - with the help of some good friends, relatives and therapy she learns to grow and make positive changes in all parts of her life. A great example of more serious chick lit that's touching and humorous at the same time.
Margaret
At first I thought I was going to read about Emily's take down of the law firm she worked for. Yes, Emily no longer had to suffer the inappropriate advances of a male co-worker and yes, she no longer had to suffer the expectations that billable hours were to be her focus in life; but those were side effects of the real take down. Emily has lost much in her life; her mother at an early age, the emotional absence of her father, the heartbreaking aging of her grandfather, and the love of Andrew who...more
Sara
A friend of mine receives copies of books before they are officially published on a regular basis. She had passed this along to me about five years ago. It sat on my shelf waiting for me to read it. There were times I contemplated on giving it away since I did not actually pick it out. Now, I am very glad that I didn't.

This story is about a 29 year old girl finding herself. What is it about the late twenties that is the new coming of age? Anyway, the character goes through transformations in eve...more
Beth
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South Jersey Book...: good book 1 15 Oct 06, 2011 07:53am  
The Opposite of Love (Hardcover)
THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE
The Opposite Of Love
Vorrei che fosse amore (Paperback)
The Opposite of Love (Hardcover)

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Please check out my two novels, THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE and AFTER YOU, both now out in paperback.

Please check out my website www.juliebuxbaum.com for more information about both books.

Or to follow my recent shenanigans, please check out my blog, JULIE HAS WRITER'S BLOG, at www.juliebuxbaum.com/blog/

One of my favorite things about being a novelist is the opportunity to talk to reading groups. If you...more
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After You After You

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“I miss the way he used to kiss my shoulder whenever it was bare and he was nearby. I miss how he cleared his throat before he took a sip of water and scratched his left arm with his right hand when he was nervous. I miss how he tucked my hair behind my ear when it came loose and took my temperature when I was sick or when he was bored. I miss his glasses on my nightstand. I miss watching him take Sunday afternoon naps on my couch, with the newspaper resting on his stomach like a blanket. How his hands stayed clasped, fingers intertwined, while he slept. I miss the cadence of his speech and the stupidity of his puns. I miss playing doctor when we made love, and even when we didn't. I miss his smell, like fresh laundry and honey (because of his shampoo) at his place. Fresh laundry and coconut (because of my shampoo) at mine. I miss that he used to force me to listen to French rap and would sing along in a horrible accent. I miss that he always said "I love you" when he hung up the phone with his sister, never shy or embarassed, regardless of who else was around. I miss that his ideal Friday night included a DVD, eating Chinese food right out of the carton, and cuddling on top of my duvet cover. I miss that he reread books from his childhood and then from mine. I miss that he was the only man that I have ever farted on, and with, freely. I miss that he understood that the holidays were hard for me and that he wanted me to never feel lonely.” 149 people liked it
“I don't even want to spend the rest of my life with me.. how do you explain to someone you love that you can't give yourself to them because if you did, you're not sure who you'd be giving? That you aren't sure what your own words are worth? You can't tell someone that, especially someone you love. And so you don't.

Instead, I do the right thing. I lie.”
42 people liked it
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