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133rd out of 187 books
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Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World
by
Rosalind Wiseman (Goodreads Author)
“My daughter used to be so wonderful. Now I can barely stand her and she won’t tell me anything. How can I find out what’s going on?”
“There’s a clique in my daughter’s grade that’s making her life miserable. She doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Her own supposed friends are turning on her, and she’s too afraid to do anything. What can I do?”
Welcome to the wonderful wor...more
“There’s a clique in my daughter’s grade that’s making her life miserable. She doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Her own supposed friends are turning on her, and she’s too afraid to do anything. What can I do?”
Welcome to the wonderful wor...more
Paperback, 448 pages
Published
October 13th 2009
by Three Rivers Press
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This is a book I read after seeing the movie Mean Girls, which is a fictionalization of this actual book, although it is a nonfiction book, not a novel. I soooo wish this book had been around when I was in school. It was a revelation to me and explained the grand majority of social interactions that happened to me back then. The language is easy to read and precise without being technical or psychoanalytic.
Good suggestions for getting out of bad situations -- bullying, gossiping, dr...more
Good suggestions for getting out of bad situations -- bullying, gossiping, dr...more
Honestly, watch Mean Girls! This book was the inspiration for the film and I think Tina Fey hit the nail on the head with the Queen Bee dynamic.
Unfortunately, this book fails to address other groups besides middle/upper class white straight girls. There is little to no mention of any other racial demographic. I was disheartened that the author chose to relegate the topic of sexual orientation to a mere small chapter, sandwiched between heterosexual dating and sex.
Overall, it's quit...more
Unfortunately, this book fails to address other groups besides middle/upper class white straight girls. There is little to no mention of any other racial demographic. I was disheartened that the author chose to relegate the topic of sexual orientation to a mere small chapter, sandwiched between heterosexual dating and sex.
Overall, it's quit...more
I (obviously) am not the parent of an adolescent girl, but one of my colleagues recommended this book to me since we are starting to see some clique-ishness in the older girls at the school where I serve. The book has a very particular audience (parents), and sometimes the author's preachy tone and manner of simplistically classifying types of girls or situations rubs me the wrong way. I also tend to think that much of this is common sense. However, I suppose for some parents, this would be a...more
Andrea
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
everybody!!!
Recommended to Andrea by:
Desi & Katie!
I thought that this book started strong. But my problem with self-help books is that I grow bored of the topic. This book kept me until the last couple of chapters that I felt was pretty much common sense. But I feel strongly to urge every woman with or without daughters to read this book. It applies to those raising daughters and those still trying to grow up (which, let's be honest, is most of us). It helped me take a good look at myself and my "growing up as a girl" experience....more
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I enjoy pop psychology, and I liked the movie Mean Girls (which was based on this book), so I thought I'd give it a try.
Reading this did not give me horrible flashbacks to my middle-school years. :-) But it did give me some interesting insights on roles girls play. Queen Bee, Sidekick, Wannabe, and Target are all pretty obvious, but Banker was a surprise to me. I assumed she was a girl who tried to buy popularity or friendship. Actually, she is someone who collects embarrassing or da...more
Reading this did not give me horrible flashbacks to my middle-school years. :-) But it did give me some interesting insights on roles girls play. Queen Bee, Sidekick, Wannabe, and Target are all pretty obvious, but Banker was a surprise to me. I assumed she was a girl who tried to buy popularity or friendship. Actually, she is someone who collects embarrassing or da...more
This book was better than 3- maybe a 3.5. It was well written but to be honest it scared me a little bit! It had a lot of really good information and helpful things for dealing with your daughter as she goes through middle school and high school. However, I think it made it seem almost like your daughter could not possibly go through high school with doing something really bad. And in the chapter about sex I felt that teaching abstinence was not discussed enough. I know it wasn't a "religi...more
I have read this book 4 times now. It is a must read for anyone who has to deal with women. It's not just about how to deal with "mean girls" as in teenagers, its also about mean little girls and mean women. The author stated that every woman, at one point or another, will play every roll in the book. I totally agree.
It is not a book that you can just sit down and read. You have to read, digest. Read, digest. However, if you stick to it, you will have gained knowledge on...more
It is not a book that you can just sit down and read. You have to read, digest. Read, digest. However, if you stick to it, you will have gained knowledge on...more
Enlightening. I was hesitant about this book's thesis. But after refection I agree that a girl's position in the social heirarchy can affect whether she becomes a perpetrator, bystander, or victim first among her relationships with girls and then later among her relationships with boyfriends.
I also now see the limitations of a "just say no" campaign.
And besides just scaring parents by iluminating the realities of Girl and Boy World in Adolescence, Wiseman also offers ti...more
I also now see the limitations of a "just say no" campaign.
And besides just scaring parents by iluminating the realities of Girl and Boy World in Adolescence, Wiseman also offers ti...more
I bought this because I heard Ms Wiseman on the radio talking about interviewing thousands of middle schoolers for the insights and language that became this book. I was impressed by her ability to recognize that we needed new pigeonholes for old behaviors, and her enthusiasm for the leg-work.
She really revised the consept of the bully to include girl non-physical domineering/controlling/malevolent behavior. It is sort of the non-fiction companion book to "Cat's Eye" by Margaret A...more
She really revised the consept of the bully to include girl non-physical domineering/controlling/malevolent behavior. It is sort of the non-fiction companion book to "Cat's Eye" by Margaret A...more
Queen Bees is more directed toward the parents of teenagers than Reviving Ophelia, but don't let that scare you off if you are a bullied student or interested in combating bullying from a sociological perspective.
Queen Bees was a helpful resource for me, who was bullied by mostly female peers from early adolescence into early adulthood with varying degrees of visciousness. I occasionally return to materials on bullying to help me understand what happened to me and how it still shapes...more
Queen Bees was a helpful resource for me, who was bullied by mostly female peers from early adolescence into early adulthood with varying degrees of visciousness. I occasionally return to materials on bullying to help me understand what happened to me and how it still shapes...more
Who would have thought that the drama filled teen movie, Mean Girls was based on the non fiction book, Queen Bees and Wannabes? The hilarious but evil movie actually has some truth to it. The author of the book, Rosalind Wiseman, travels to different middle school and high school working with girls and boys to address everyday teen topics like gossiping, relationships, drugs, parties, and parent-child relations. The story dissects the life of teenage girls and boys by imputing her analysis on ...more
Book Review: Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman
She is a slut. She is trying too hard. What is she wearing? He is desperate for attention. He is so dumb. Ugh. These phrases are all too common in the teen world. Between the ages of twelve and eighteen years, teenagers’ worse critics are themselves—along with the other three hundred or so students that go to their school. Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabes is a nonfiction book that guides parents and teens alike throug...more
She is a slut. She is trying too hard. What is she wearing? He is desperate for attention. He is so dumb. Ugh. These phrases are all too common in the teen world. Between the ages of twelve and eighteen years, teenagers’ worse critics are themselves—along with the other three hundred or so students that go to their school. Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabes is a nonfiction book that guides parents and teens alike throug...more
This book is a must read if you have children. Not even just a girl, but any children. This book gives an enormous amount of insight into girls and, for that matter, women. Even if you have a boy, he will either date girls or be friends with them or both, so reading this book will still prove invaluable!
The book itself is written well - very personable with a balance between informative information (facts, science, studies), personal anecdotes of both teens and moms, quotes from teen g...more
The book itself is written well - very personable with a balance between informative information (facts, science, studies), personal anecdotes of both teens and moms, quotes from teen g...more
Wiseman founded the Empower Program to present information and provokes healthy dialogue about the emotional experience of teenagers. Much of the information in this book is based on teenage girl’s testimony and statistical research on the lives of teens.
The author states at about 5th grade girls start to create friendships that personally define themselves outside of the family unit. This opens the floodgates of vulnerability, experimentation, and having to get along with your some...more
The author states at about 5th grade girls start to create friendships that personally define themselves outside of the family unit. This opens the floodgates of vulnerability, experimentation, and having to get along with your some...more
It was interesting to hear the perspective of a counselor who works with real girls from real schools all over the US. The book is about how girls relate to each other in the school scene and how it affects their lives and behavior. There are lots of stories about real girls, and even letters written to the author by girls of different ages, or written accounts of experiences and perspective.
It was especially interesting to hear about the different roles that girls in a group t...more
It was especially interesting to hear about the different roles that girls in a group t...more
This is a guide for mothers to help understand their teenage daughters and all of the weird clicquey things that happen. I wasn't the target audience and I found the book rather dull. I rarely say this, but the movie was better. Go see "Mean Girls" instead.
I really wasn't all that surprised by this book, at least not by the "revelations" of the late-teen issues of chapters 8-9. It really doesn't appear to be all that different from when I was coming up 25 years ago, unless my experiences were precocious. Maybe they were, but somehow I think there's still a spectrum of social life out there, just as there was back in the day. That said, I'm still not all that sure that I'm ready to deal with these things as a parent of a daughter, even ...more
Whether you were the leader of the clique, the token messenger for the queen or left out completely, high school ends eventually and, most likely, you continue to outgrow those labels placed upon you during those difficult years. Then, you become a parent, a job of delivering all of your knowledge to your little one with the hopes of avoiding the same pitfalls you experienced growing up. However, the years dull the memories and we tend to forget how difficult adolescence was or block it out of o...more
Fascinating and terrifying. Includes a thought-provoking sociological examination of cliques and their function in middle school - think of them as battalions of girls each with their own uniform and set of rules (to some degree or another). She also makes a convincing argument for how girls "BFF" relationships in late elementary and early middle school set the stage for their dating relationships, and how they learn how to act to get a boy's attention - if your daughter is a "p...more
This book is SO interesting and insightful about pre-teen and teen girls' social worlds. I actually bought it in hardcover so I could refer back to it when I start dealing with girl-problems with my own daughters! I think anyone interested in understanding this group (including the boys this age) better would find this book helpful!
To be upfront I picked this up b/c I thought it was fiction based on the movie, not a how-to book for the daughter I do not have. So I only read the first half that was pretty interesting on the break down of the cliques. For the most part it was right on from what I remember of clicks in school & brought back a lot of crazy memories associated with said clicks. Some of the info on how to talk to your daughter seemed like it would be helpful (from the perspective of remembering what I would or w...more
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I found this book after the movie "Mean Girls" came out - it is based on this book's concept. This book isn't a novel like the movie is a story, it is a psychologist who works with adolescent girls and she talks about the different concepts of being a girl. I originally read it to understand my high school experience a little better, but now I reread it occasionally to understand other things (cliques and gossip after high school? Who knew?!) and I really recommend it for any girls,...more
in depth descriptions but i also felt the book was very limiting by the labeling. i know tons of kids who 'rise above' the games and who could really care less about who's in and who's out. i almost got the impression that in a way the author is way into the drama of it all and working in the schools she's sort of a queen bee by being in the fray. i'm thankful for my faith and how that gives purpose to 'treat others how you want to be treated' and also service projects that get focus of yourself...more
Sherrie
rated it
·
review of another edition
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Everyone
Recommended to Sherrie by:
Elisa
I recommend this book to anyone who has girls, is a girl, knows a girl, or plans to become a girl, or has any sort of relationship with a girl or a boy.
When I first started this book it made me angry. It opened old wounds, and brought me back to 7th grade--a place I never wanted to visit again. I had so many "A-ha moments" while reading this, that gave me insight into my own experiences, and relationships, and more importantly, gave me a heads up for what my daughters may be ex...more
When I first started this book it made me angry. It opened old wounds, and brought me back to 7th grade--a place I never wanted to visit again. I had so many "A-ha moments" while reading this, that gave me insight into my own experiences, and relationships, and more importantly, gave me a heads up for what my daughters may be ex...more
This book was just a review of what I already knew. It gives you a small diagram of cliques and what they consist of. It also gives you an example of the children that get pushed out of the "box". The book goes on and classifies parenting styles. These parenting styles seem to be subgroups of the four parenting styles that you learn about in psychology. The author goes into a small blurb about what the subgroups consist of. After these groups are mentioned, the author then goes o...more
I think this book can be a little dangerous because as we read about the queen bee and her hive, we begin to try to figure out who we were growing up and even who we and others are now (as adults). Looking through this distorted lens, we may not like what we see- and it's easy to misjudge ourselves and others. I have to remind myself that the descriptions of the queen bee and her hive (chap 3) come from the author's research of problematic adolescent girls ideas. So, these descriptions are...more
This book is a very interesting "psychology" book, focusing on the dynamics, hierarchy, and roles girls play in "Girl World."
I found some of the aspects to be very interesting. I had never thought about the social makeup of girls as some sort of science-class frog, ready and (somewhat) willing to be dissected for the knowledge of parents and outsiders alike. The way that a (young) teenagers mind works was very intriguing to me, and I enjoyed reading the section on...more
I found some of the aspects to be very interesting. I had never thought about the social makeup of girls as some sort of science-class frog, ready and (somewhat) willing to be dissected for the knowledge of parents and outsiders alike. The way that a (young) teenagers mind works was very intriguing to me, and I enjoyed reading the section on...more
I thought this book was really good. At first it was stressful and even depressing to read. You want to pretend that these social situations won't happen to your kids but they will. I think it was helpful to understand some of the social pressure teen girls are under. It is similar to when I grew up but seems more intense these days. I liked this book better than reviving ophelia since there were actually concrete suggestions to address problems. I liked the scripts that are given as exampl...more
A must read for every parent. My girl isn't even born yet, but I had so many issues with popularity (being on the outside of it), peer pressure (submitting to it), and rebellion (I didn't want to be around my parents at all), that this book helped me understand myself better, which should help me understand my child better when the day comes. There is also a nice section on understanding the Boy World, too. Good advice for parents to assist with making yourself open to awkward conversations w...more
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Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized expert on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership.
Wiseman is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence. Twice a New York Times Bestseller, Queen Bees & Wannabes was the basis for the 2004 movie Mean Girls. Her ...more
More about Rosalind Wiseman...
Wiseman is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence. Twice a New York Times Bestseller, Queen Bees & Wannabes was the basis for the 2004 movie Mean Girls. Her ...more
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