by
4.15 of 5 stars
Are you and your spouse speaking the same language? While love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as people read full description

reviews

Mar 26, 2013
This book is based on the premise that everyone has a "love language". Things others say or do that make one feel "loved",they are follows:


-words of affirmation.
-recieving gifts.
-acts of service.
-physical touch.
-quality time.

Personally I want you to tell me how great I am (words of affirmation) while walking in the house with a collection of poetry for me (receiving gifts), make a beeline for the trash that needs to be taken out (acts of service), then come back in and read quietly next to me (q More...
16 comments like (31 people liked it)
Dec 29, 2010
Eleanor rated it: 5 of 5 stars
The main idea behind this book is that just as people have unique personality preferences, we all have unique preferences for what we find satisfying and motivating when it comes to love. Speaking your partner's language takes A LOT of emotional intelligence, and a girlfriend suggested a great book that has helped me with it, Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

In a nutshell, your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. The relationship expert behind the book arranges the book i More...
3 comments like (58 people liked it)
Oct 29, 2007
this book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from his clients who call him a "miracle worker." it's damn-near pretty close to being called god.

the book has all the hallmarks of a bestseller: easy to read (i read it in one day); hopeless circumstances that seem beyond repair; and an uplifiting ending More...
21 comments like (35 people liked it)
Mar 26, 2013
I think the basis for this self-help book is good. I totally get the "love languages" thing. My husband's "love language" is Physical Affection and mine is Quality Time. I totally see that. But this is like a "Love Language For Dummies." It talks to you like you're an idiot who has never had basic human social interaction before. And there isn't really any advice, just this guy rambling on about how smart he is for figuring out that people need to be loved in different ways. Like, his advice for More...
0 comments like (6 people liked it)
Oct 13, 2011
This book was recommended to my friend by her pastor to read before she got married. My assumption was that it would be religious in tone and not very relevant to today's relationships.
I'm so glad I was wrong! This is one of those books I would suggest everyone read. It is such a simple explanation of what can so often go wrong in relationships. It's not about men vs. women, it's about the way people receive love.
The basis is there are 5 Love Languages (obviously). And if you speak a different More...
0 comments like (27 people liked it)
Feb 24, 2008
Jennie rated it: 5 of 5 stars
My mother in law gave me this book and I hesitated reading it because it sounds so cheesy (and just take a look at the cover--how dorky!) But I was stuck on vacation with nothing else to read so I reluctantly gave it a try. In a nutshell, this book has changed my life. Page after page I found myself wanting to yell, "yes! Thats exactly right!" If I could give this more than five stars, I would. Okay, maybe "changed my life" is a bit strong, but it has certainly enhanced my marriage like nothing More...
1 comment like (29 people liked it)
Apr 22, 2013
Samuel rated it: 5 of 5 stars
I read this book in 2 days; it is a quick read that incorporates stories to illustrate human nature when it comes to expressing love--especially in marriage. It is brilliant not for its originality of ideas but rather in its categorization and clarity of ideas. In the words of John Lennon, "All you need is love." Love is the most important thing, and yet, many people have a truly hard time feeling loved and successfully expressing love to those who matter most to them. Why is this? Dr. Chapman t More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Feb 21, 2011
Jeannie rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Rating: a little over 4 stars.

This book was good. The concepts are important. I got the singles edition as well so I could actually apply these ideas to my current life. The book got a little tedious, though. I felt the first 9 chapters were all that were needed. These chapters encompassed an overview of how Chapman came to the 5-language conclusion, a discussion of each of the five languages, and a "how to determine your love language." I felt the remaining chapters served very little purpose o More...
0 comments like (4 people liked it)
Nov 29, 2007
My dad actually recommended this book to me and I finally decided to check it out from the library. Although I think my husband and I have a good relationship - it was amazing how much I learned from this book! And how I realized that by understand how we communicate differently - it could strengthen our relationship. I would recommend this book to just about anyone! A lot of it seems common sense but it's a good reminder and an eye-opener to read it.
2 comments like (10 people liked it)
Mar 26, 2013
I highly recommend this book for ANY couple. Married, engaged, dating, gay, straight. It matters not. I even recommend it if you're single. My husband and I were on the verge of divorce, even separated, but after some counseling and reading this book it has helped us out tremendously! I bought a copy for my mom, sisters, and brother because I think it is that important to read his book and understand your significant others love language.
0 comments like (3 people liked it)
Jun 13, 2012
David rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Love is a many splendored thing and it is also a full-time job. Actually, it is my primary full-time job and everything else I do are just side jobs. Along with the two Eldredge books (Wild and Captivating) this is the third book TheRedHead and I have listened to on audio in as many weeks. We have had some good couple time in the car going to Kentucky and then Alabama and these books were great for us to consume and then discuss.

I read this book six years ago and listening to it again was a good More...
1 comment like (4 people liked it)
Sep 11, 2010
Laura rated it: 5 of 5 stars
This book was really helpful in discovering how we express love and how we feel loved. Chapman describes the five love languages that people use to express love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Although all of these ways of expressing love are important, he explains that we each tend to respond to one more than the others. For example, if my love language is quality time, then my partner could give me all the gifts in the word, and I still wouldn't More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Oct 13, 2011
Very rated it: 4 of 5 stars
This book looks cheesy as fuck from the outside, but it's full of practical, down-to-earth wisdom. If you are married (or thinking about getting married), divorced (or thinking about getting divorced), read this book.
0 comments like (6 people liked it)
Mar 26, 2013
Tina rated it: 5 of 5 stars
Must read! I am not normally into "self help" type books, but this is different. You will be amazed what you learn about your loved ones and yourself. If only I had read this years ago...
0 comments like (3 people liked it)
Mar 26, 2013
Shannon rated it: 5 of 5 stars
I think everyone should read this. Understanding our own love language and those around you helps in any relationship. I have read a couple of times.
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Jan 25, 2009
Joe rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Everyone has "the" relationship book. This book will NOT automatically solve all relationship problems. People have to want to work on things; have to want to communicate needs and expectations. Having said that, I have not seen a better way to tie in to your significant other's point of view, then trying to understand how THEY need to have love expressed. But even more importantly, maybe, is looking at ourselves and seeing how we automatically expect others to "get" love the way that we need to More...
2 comments like (6 people liked it)
Jan 27, 2009
cheri rated it: 5 of 5 stars
You can read any one of the Five Love Languages and get the just of the books. It teaches you how to identify your love language and those around you. What the author states is that everyone has a major love language (love cup to be filled) as well as a minor love language. You really begin to understand why some people, including yourself, will do certain things. For example, my youngest son's love language is service. He brings me a cup of water to bed because he knows I drink water thru out t More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Oct 13, 2011
The premise of this best-selling book is quite simple, but many of us haven't tried looking at our marriages this way. In short, people have their own, often unconscious way of expressing love and rarely do two spouses have the same "Love Language." This can cause trouble in a marriage because we may simply not understand the way in which our partner is expressing his or her love, even if s/he is trying really hard to express it and has NO idea we aren't getting it. In turn, s/he may not feel lo More...
8 comments like (2 people liked it)
Nov 17, 2011
Matthew rated it: 4 of 5 stars
The author says love is a choice. He says that the infatuation that people experience in the beginning of the relationship is not real love. It is something else. Real love takes work while the infatuation period is instinctual and effortless. But isn't it the stuff we dream of and wish would last forever? Can we really accept that we will only get that chance at the beginning of the relationship and that thereafter, in order to remain monogamous, we must accept that it is not for us to feel eve More...
0 comments like (6 people liked it)
Mar 18, 2008
Lindsay rated it: 4 of 5 stars
I had heard a lot about this book & decided to give it a go. It made A LOT of sense! It is all about improving your relationship with your spouse by showing your love to them in a way that resonates with them - which may be totally different than what would be meaningful to you. It was a very fast read, very easy to "get," and I have found it very insightful not only in expressing myself, but also in recognizing when my Jon Jon is being sweet to me. Sometimes it can be hard to tell. Am I rig More...
0 comments like (5 people liked it)
Jul 24, 2008
Jason rated it: 4 of 5 stars
A coworker lent this to me (my coworkers are pretty aware I need all the relationship help I can get). I'd actually heard about the theories behind this one a couple years ago from a woman I was dating, though at the time it was more of a lecture. . .I digress. . .

Anyway, this was another really helpful book looking at the different ways men and women like to receive love, and it again explained a lot both in regards to past relationships as well as about myself. It was really interesting readin More...
3 comments like (3 people liked it)
Apr 19, 2008
Asia rated it: 3 of 5 stars
This is an entertaining, well-written book from the perspective of a therapist who shares interesting stories about his patients and thier love problems and solutions.

This book has potential to help people better understand those they love and to show love to them in ways they can feel/understand (I'll suggest a much better book below that does this).

However, I worry that this book would do more harm than good since in it it says that a man's love language may be sex. How twisted is that??? And More...
8 comments like (3 people liked it)
Feb 28, 2008
Tuesdi rated it: 5 of 5 stars
We were given this book as a wedding gift but I didn't get around to reading it for almost 9 years. And when I finished it, I wished I hadn't waited so long.
This is another book that can help you identify more effective ways of relating to loved ones. It gives suggestions for using it's tips and lays out how to change the way that you deal with other people.
So often we show love and are angry or at a loss as to why it isn't appreciated or accepted. The jist of this book is that you have to sho More...
0 comments like (4 people liked it)
Jan 08, 2009
Meghan rated it: 5 of 5 stars
I really love this book! I had to read it as part of a Marriage and Relationships class that I took in college, am I'm so glad! I think it does such great job explaining the different "love languages" that we all communicate with. It helped me view my own relationships in a new way. Truly enlightening!
1 comment like (1 person liked it)
Dec 18, 2008
Interesting concept, but I don't like how he writes. Very simple and repetitive. But I feel like I did learn something. I liked what I learned, but I wish I didn't have to read this book to have learned it.
Whats my love language, you all ask? I don't know. So maybe I didn't learn that much. :)
13 comments like (1 person liked it)
Mar 26, 2013
Jess rated it: 5 of 5 stars
My mom got this book for me for our wedding, and I won't lie...it sat around for quite some time before I could put down my paranormal romance books and see what it was all about. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. It gave me a lot of insight about the inner workings of a relationship and that love, a feeling, is also a choice! Luckily I am one, who has a full tank...so it took me some time to decode what my love language truly is, but I'm glad for it! AND my husband even said he'd read More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
May 26, 2010
Kristin rated it: 4 of 5 stars
I think everyone should read this book- I learned so much from it! I think my love language is physical touch.
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Jan 16, 2010
Rob rated it: 4 of 5 stars
I need to come back to this to write a review. No time right now.

Reading "Love and Respect" that should be a companion to this book. It talk about what is being communicated when you fail to speak your spouse's love language. To a woman, the man speaks directly to the wife's feeling of love. To a man, the wife is speaking directly to the husband's feeling of respect which insulates his feelings of love. For example, a husband would say that his wife love's him, but does not like (which means res More...
1 comment like (2 people liked it)
Mar 11, 2009
Jenna rated it: 5 of 5 stars
I don't do self help books most especially ones that involve the word 'love'. Had it not been for a book group discussion assignment I guarantee I never would have picked up this book.

I'm so glad I did! It's really fun to read. The concept is very simple and makes loads of sense. The writing is very down to earth and Chapman gives so many examples through stories that it's a very fast read.

In short, he explains that everyone speaks different languages in life (Spanish, German, English, etc.) and More...
0 comments like (3 people liked it)
Mar 10, 2009
This is a practical book for improving one’s marriage. It points out that different things are more meaningful than others when it comes to expressing love. Loving acts can fall into the following five basic categories: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch. Once you determine what your mate’s primary love language is, you can work at keeping them feeling loved more effectively. It’s also good to determine your own primary love language and let your mate know More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)