Loading...
242nd out of 332 books
—
162 voters
My rating:
add to my books
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
by
Ayelet Waldman (Goodreads Author)
In the tradition of recent hits like The Bitch in the House and Perfect Madness comes a hilarious and controversial book that every woman will have an opinion about, written by America’s most outrageous writer.
In our mothers’ day there were good mothers, neglectful mothers, and occasionally great mothers.
Today we have only Bad Mothers.
If you work, you’re neglectful; if
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published
May 5th 2009
by Broadway
(first published January 1st 2009)
There is a good chance some of your friends read this book. Sign in to see!
sign in »
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
3,190)
I had heard of Ayelet Waldman but had never read her work until this book. Ironically, I've read her husband's (Michael Chabon, Pulitzer-prize winning author).
In this book of essays, she is honest and personal, often at her expense. She doesn't shy away from controversy. She hints at essays she had published elsewhere (like the NY Times) that generated a lot of backlash and press (like saying she loves her husband more than her children). On the one hand, it's good that she doesn't ...more
In this book of essays, she is honest and personal, often at her expense. She doesn't shy away from controversy. She hints at essays she had published elsewhere (like the NY Times) that generated a lot of backlash and press (like saying she loves her husband more than her children). On the one hand, it's good that she doesn't ...more
view 2 comments
I read this because I read all Michael Chabon's books and he wrote Manhood for Amateurs, which I read earlier this month, at least in part, as a response to this book. This is my first book by Waldman. I intend to check out her fiction, now.
Eighteen essays on parenting in Berkeley, on being Michael Chabon’s wife, on being the fallible mom (and daughter and daughter-in-law) to four kids and one heartbreaking one she knew she couldn’t keep and had terminated.
About her sexu...more
Eighteen essays on parenting in Berkeley, on being Michael Chabon’s wife, on being the fallible mom (and daughter and daughter-in-law) to four kids and one heartbreaking one she knew she couldn’t keep and had terminated.
About her sexu...more
Now that my kids are in their late teens, I feel like I've left that particular battlefield of parenting-whose baby is early on their milestones, what designer wear onesies are in, at home vs. working mom, cloth vs. plastic; breast vs bottle, play dates, classes, narcissistic investment, guilt because you finally gave in and did the d*#! project for the kid since it's already 2 a.m., they're falling on their face & doing what is clearly going to be the worst project of the class (since the other...more
This book completely surprised me. I was prepared to not like it, or to just listen to another person use the 'bad mother' idea to actually let you know that they are a fantastic mother.
In fact, this book was remarkable in its openness and honesty about mental illness, motherhood, and a lot of other uncomfortable/interesting subjects. It contained a few pearls of wisdom, but most of all I am amazed at a person who will just lay it all out there for everyone to see. This chick has guts....more
In fact, this book was remarkable in its openness and honesty about mental illness, motherhood, and a lot of other uncomfortable/interesting subjects. It contained a few pearls of wisdom, but most of all I am amazed at a person who will just lay it all out there for everyone to see. This chick has guts....more
The parenting-warts-and-all memoir isn't quite as unusual as it once was, thank goodness, and that's thanks in no small part to Ayelet Waldman's ongoing efforts. There's no faulting Waldman's honesty. One wonders what charges her most vociferous critics (cited frequently in this book, to the point that these essays become at times an extended conversation with same) can lob at her that she hasn't already directed toward herself. Is she a "bad mother" for (admitting to) loving her husb...more
I think she does love her children very much and she got a bad rap for her opinions. On the other hand, she HAD to know what she was getting into. Speaking from experience the most ruthless critics on the planet of mothers are other mothers. It stems from insecurity and a need to feel justified in our own choices. Why we just can't live and let live, I don't know. She has four children and they were all pretty young at the same time at one point. My sense is people just didn't believe her: how d...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
Ayelet Waldman writes essays about motherhood. While I was excited to hear her point of view--I had heard how she had been bashed for writing that she loved her husband more than her children, and I thought that was an interesting and probably just idea-- 100 pages in I had to put this book down because I couldn't take any more of Waldman's self indulgent rambling. She is often criticized for her excessively personal writing style and her chutzpah; according to her, this is often expressed as ...more
I liked this, and would recommend it to other mothers who like reading nonfiction about motherhood. I didn't agree with everything Waldman says, and her life and opinions are generally about as different from mine as you can get. Despite all that, many of her observations on motherhood rang true for me. Mainly the book is about the expectations we have for mothers and how the bar is set impossibly high. We're doomed to feel like failures because no one could possibly do all the things a "go...more
I often give "Operating Instructions" by Anne Lamott to soon to be mothers and this book is makes a nice follow up for the exhausted new mom. I read it primarily because I have read several of Waldman's other fiction books this summer and wanted to see how she was writing nonfiction.
This is a keen collection of essays about the self-doubts many mother's harbor and a glimpse into the interior of her family life with four children. She doesn't hold back, she tells of her hea...more
This is a keen collection of essays about the self-doubts many mother's harbor and a glimpse into the interior of her family life with four children. She doesn't hold back, she tells of her hea...more
I became interested in Ayelet Waldman, after reading her husband's (Micheal Chabon) book on fatherhood... he made her sound like a fascinating woman.
I read this particular book, because, I just happened to stumble upon it at the library, but I wanted to get to know her better. I kept reading, because getting into the head of a modern mother became so compelling. As someone without children, and not contemplating motherhood - her book gave me a better perspective on what everyone els...more
I read this particular book, because, I just happened to stumble upon it at the library, but I wanted to get to know her better. I kept reading, because getting into the head of a modern mother became so compelling. As someone without children, and not contemplating motherhood - her book gave me a better perspective on what everyone els...more
Bad Mother: a Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace, by Ayelet Waldman,narrated by mia Barron, produced by Recorded Books, downloaded from Audible.com.
The publisher explains this book as well as anyone:
Best-selling author Ayelet Waldman delivers a humorous, encouraging look at the nearly impossible - and often thankless! - job of mothering. Filled with
humor and deliciously outrageous observations on the world'smost difficult prof...more
The publisher explains this book as well as anyone:
Best-selling author Ayelet Waldman delivers a humorous, encouraging look at the nearly impossible - and often thankless! - job of mothering. Filled with
humor and deliciously outrageous observations on the world'smost difficult prof...more
Reading this book took me back to my recent book club meeting. In a tangential conversation, my book club friends and I discussed the self-doubt we sometimes heard from parents our age about their decision not to use corporal punishment with their children. “It’s not the spanking itself,” one friend said. “It’s the whole style of discipline we use. Because if we tried to integrate spanking into our otherwise touchy-feely parenting techniques, it wouldn’t fit. The issue isn’t whether or not ...more
Ayelet Waldman is a self-confessed bad mother, the only problem being that it only takes a few pages of reading to decide that she's wrong. I felt like I was a bad mother myself as I devoured this book after coming home from the library today, leaving my six children to their own devices. The author's tendency to overanalyze and feel guilt over every minute aspect of her parenting and her much-critized confession that she loves her husband more than she loves her children were easy for me to ide...more
I guess Ayelet Waldman isn't for everyone; I know she riled a lot of people up with her New York Times piece in which she stated that she loved her husband more than her children. That piece is, in fact, the take-off point for this collection of essays all to do with mothering, and many to do with why mothers set their bar so high in a way that fathers do not, and why they beat themselves up so hard when they do not meet or surpass that bar. I suppose some might fault this book for portraying ...more
I read Ayelet Waldman’s book Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace after hearing Ms. Waldman interviewed on NPR. I have complained in the past about at least one memorist being reluctant to share her warts with her readers. Ms. Waldman, however, lets us see her as she is, warts and all, with a willingness that she attributes to her bipolarism:
“The bipolar inability to resist the impulse to reveal inappropriately intimate detai...more
“The bipolar inability to resist the impulse to reveal inappropriately intimate detai...more
Collection of essays on her experiences as a writer and mom of 4 kids, unifying theme being her struggle to accept that "jugglers invariably drop balls, and no matter the persistent criticism of the Bad Mother police, balls do bounce. When they fall all you need to do is pick them up and throw them back up in the air." (p. 41).
Very very intense person, at times well beyond what I could relate to (e.g., confesses to being extremely jealous of her mother-in-law b/c she got...more
Very very intense person, at times well beyond what I could relate to (e.g., confesses to being extremely jealous of her mother-in-law b/c she got...more
I found Ayelet Waldman’s memoirs to be heartfelt and genuine. I laughed and I cried. But I don’t relate to her Jewish heritage, I wholeheartedly disagree with her position on abortion, and I have so far turned out to be what she might describe as a ninny who actually likes to listen to Raffi with my daughter. The last chapters turned out to be quite liberal, and not much about motherhood. I guess I didn’t realize how conservative I am... This book opened my eyes about the kind of mother I am and...more
Overview
Subtitled "A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace," Bad Mother is a warts-and-all look at Waldman's experiences as a mother. (She has four children.) These types of books are like catnip to me. What mother doesn't want to learn that she is not alone in her misgivings about her mothering skills?
Waldman writes openly and honestly about a wide variety of topics, including:
* pursuing a career versus staying at ...more
Subtitled "A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace," Bad Mother is a warts-and-all look at Waldman's experiences as a mother. (She has four children.) These types of books are like catnip to me. What mother doesn't want to learn that she is not alone in her misgivings about her mothering skills?
Waldman writes openly and honestly about a wide variety of topics, including:
* pursuing a career versus staying at ...more
I probably would have given this book at least a 3 - possibly a 4 - when I started reading, as I identified with a lot of the points the author made in the first several chapters. However, as the book progressed, a few themes emerged, notably, "get off my back" and "my husband is my superhero." In fact, as I continued to read, it became clear to me that women who have normal husbands (i.e., they contribute as best they can, in spite of jobs that require them to leave their ...more
Waldman honestly (also shamelessly and self-promotingly) reveals the profound ambivalence toward motherhood and all its ramifications that grips women more tightly than ever. It's an ambivalence that manifests in the perceived inability of a mother to make proper parenting decisions and balance ambitions beyond parenthood, and an ambivalence that drives me -- a non-mother, prospective but hesitant about the whole deal -- to read these essays.
My impression of this collection of essay...more
My impression of this collection of essay...more
i liked this book and i enjoyed reading about her life and her children (she and michael chabon have four kids). but at times it surprised me by veering off into a too-indulgent memoir. she makes some very excellent points, however, as she argues that we are all way too hard on mothers, who expect and are expected to be perfect. i liked her call to embrace and allow for "good enough" parenting. i thought she was really right on when she mentioned the berkeley parents network and how ex...more
Ayelet Waldman stirred up controversy when she said that she loved her husband more than her kids. She repeated the statement on national television and became a target for mothers everywhere. This is so patently transparently a publicity stunt that I cannot believe anyone could take it seriously. It reminds me of those games we used to play: "if you were on a lifeboat and you had to chose between . . . " etc. There is no comparison between spouses and children and no one needs to...more
I seriously doubt that any woman who gives birth to a baby goes into it aspiring to be a bad mother. But within days, hours, and honestly probably before the baby is even born, we all have moments where we're sure we're not going to be as good at this motherhood thing as we want to be. One of my first bad mother moments came when Eddie bought me flowers to celebrate my coming home from a business trip when I was pregnant. The flowers died, but instead of dumping out the glass they'd been in, I l...more
From the book jacket: Today we have only Bad Mothers. If you work, you're neglectful; if you stay home, you're smothering. If you discipline, you're buying them a spot on the shrink's couch; if you let them run wild, they will be into drugs by seventh grade. If you buy organic, you're spending their college fund; if you don't, you're risking all sorts of allergies and illnesses. Is it any wonder so many women refer to themselves at one time or another as a "bad mother"?
This b...more
This b...more
This gritty, sometimes heart-wrenching memoir struck a chord. Waldman's vignettes illustrate an aspect of misogyny that is pervasive, specifically among women. Could it be that the self-deprecation so many mothers take part in cannot be contained and thus ends up spilling out onto other mothers? Maybe it's correlation and not causation. The root of it does seem to be that many women simply think that they know what is best for other women and their families (She shouldn't work full time. She rea...more
Wow. Well, once again, a book where the author shares personal experiences and feelings to a degree that I find at once brave and shocking. I do not agree with some (most?) of her parenting style/approach, or even the over-sharing that I admittedly took advantage of by reading this book. However, it was well-written in many regards, and the premise actually speaks to my negative reaction to her parenting: We moms should cut eachother a break.
It was at times difficult to read such perso...more
It was at times difficult to read such perso...more
Very worth reading--provocative. It features, at its best, original perspectives on issues you've thought about a million times--but never quite thought about in the way Ayelet does.
Two things annoyed me: The if-only-men-did-more-household-chores-they'd-get-more-sex argument (yawn!). And the overly precious telling of her woes at imaging her children growing up and away from her. Not that that isn't fertile territory--only that she doesn't bring anything new to it.
What ...more
Two things annoyed me: The if-only-men-did-more-household-chores-they'd-get-more-sex argument (yawn!). And the overly precious telling of her woes at imaging her children growing up and away from her. Not that that isn't fertile territory--only that she doesn't bring anything new to it.
What ...more
I really liked this book of autobiographical essays. It’s about womanhood as much as parenting, and of a sort that rang very true to me. She is funny and wry throughout, when possible; and serious in a non preachy way when called for. The chapter "Sexy Witches and Cereal Boxes" is typical – funny, and very on target regarding early sexual experiences – i.e. “more than a football team, fewer than a marching band”; not “date rape” but “the night I lost my virginity to an asshole.” Th...more
According to an informal Gawker poll, Ayelet Waldman and Michael Chabon have received the second-most votes for literary power couple that make Gawker readers wish they had never learned to read. As of today, they are quite a few percentage points behind Jonathan Safran Foer and Nicole Krauss, but they have moved up a spot since Waldman's book "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamitites, and Occasional Moments of Grace" went from draft to publication to the shelves. ...more
There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Be the first to start one »
Readers Also Enjoyed
Share This Book
Ayelet Waldman is the author of Red Hook Road, The New York Times bestseller Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace, Love and Other Impossible Pursuits, Daughter's Keeper and the Mommy-Track Mysteries. Her personal essays have been published in a wide variety of newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, the Guardian, the San Franc...more
More about Ayelet Waldman...
No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »
“Even if i'm setting myself up for failure, I think it's worth trying to be a mother who delights in who her children are, in their knock-knock jokes and earnest questions. A mother who spends less time obseessing about what will happen, or what has happened, and more time reveling in what is. A mother who doesn't fret over failings and slights, who realizes her worries and anxieties are just thoughts, the continuous chattering and judgement of a too busy mind. A mother who doesn't worry so much about being bad or good but just recognizes that she's both, and neither. A mother who does her best, and for whom that is good enough, even if, in the end, her best turns out to be, simply, not bad. ”
—
21 people liked it
“Let's all commit ourselves to the basic civility of minding our own business. Failing that, let's go back to a time when we were nasty and judgmental, but only behind one another's backs.”
—
3 people liked it
More quotes…
