A Severe Mercy

Jul 18, 2009 K.D. Oliveros rated it 3 of 5 stars

Thanks to Tata J for lending me another unforgettable book! This is the second love story that made me cry (honest). The first third of the book is your typical Nicholas Sparks story. It actually reminds me of The Notebook so as I thought it would be an easy read, I continued on. On the second part (after The Shining Barrier), C. S. Lewis as introduced. It had the feeling of a religious book and I got a bit thrown out and started complaining to my wife that the book is boring. However, this earl...more

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Mar 03, 2009 booklady rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: couples deeply in love; converts; those suffering the loss of a beloved

Recommended to booklady by: Karen L.

Shelves: 2009, autobiography, non-fiction, poetry, prayer, religion, spiritual, theology, scripture

A Severe Mercy can almost be called a foreshadowing of A Grief Observed. But of course that is only from our perspective looking back on the four lives involved. Sheldon Vanauken wrote A Severe Mercy about the love of his life, Jean "Davy" Palmer Davis. It's a beautiful love story, one of the most idyllic I've ever read, perhaps too idyllic, but poignant and breathtaking all the same. The book traces their relationship from courtship through the early pagan (the author's term) years of marriage...more

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Aug 17, 2008 Debbie Petersen rated it 1 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. In Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris tells of a time he was at a movie with his partner, Hugh. They were watching The End of the Affair, and Hugh was completely taken by the drama and was weeping. David, bored, whispered, "I can't wait until she dies." Hugh was aghast.

I had heard that A Severe Mercy was about a married couple, madly in love, and that thier faith and marriage are tested by the wife (Davy) converting to Christianity and therefore loving God more than her husba...more In Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris tells of a time he was at a movie with his partner, Hugh. They were watching The End of the Affair, and Hugh was completely taken by the drama and was weeping. David, bored, whispered, "I can't wait until she dies." Hugh was aghast.

I had heard that A Severe Mercy was about a married couple, madly in love, and that thier faith and marriage are tested by the wife (Davy) converting to Christianity and therefore loving God more than her husband, and her subsequent illness and death. I personally did not find their initial love story endearing, I thought it stifling. They decide that they would spend all of their time together, and if one had interests that the other did not share, the uninterested party had to go along and take part anyway so that there would be no secrets. They write each other annoying poems and call each other cutesy names, ad nauseum, and then they decide to both explore Christianity together and start by reading C. S. Lewis' books. The husband finishes one of the books and writes a letter to Lewis, who writes back. On that point I am wild with envy. Davy is far ahead on the spiritual walk and eventually leaves the husband behind, who makes a profession of faith of sorts shortly after. Now their annoying story includes going to church, holding Bible studies and singing hymns in the night. At this point in the story I invoked David Sedaris, paging ahead to when she will become sick and die, since I was hoping at that point the story would become more interesting. It did not. If anything, it became even more trite and maudlin. After she finally dies, Sheldon imagines what would have happened had Davy lived, and surmises that either their love would have died, or he with his lesser faith would have dragged Davy down and made her less of a believer. Therefore, God showed his "severe mercy" in taking Davy, thereby preserving their love for all eternity and also calling Davy home while her faith is strong. HUH?

Am I the only person on Goodreads who found this book to be a complete disappointment, despite the fact that letters from C. S. Lewis are included in the narrative?(less)

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Monica I think the interesting thing about this is not that it necessarily has to ring true to anybody, but that this is what he experienced. This is a true...more
updated May 09, 2011 06:40am

Miranda Ruth No Debbie, you aren't alone. It made me feel very uneasy too. I read it many years ago as a student when all my Christian friends were raving about it...more
Mar 02, 2013 12:16pm

Aug 24, 2007 Beth rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: reflective readers, the romantic, the grieving, even the skeptic of Christianity.

Shelves: walk-of-faith

The first half plus of the book I found enchanting and enriching. It was eye-opening to me as an on-looker at the beauty of relationships between man and woman, of the mystery of God’s drawing grace and penetration of skepticism (with some real kickers from Lewis about the threshold or leap of faith…see pg. 88). There is true depth and a special resonance with much of Vanauken’s musings for me, such as his thoughts of beauty. It seems to strike a human tone—many things in his book. After Davy’s...more

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May 06, 2007 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

This book is amazing. Anyone who has really loved someone, or aspires to real love will take so much from this. It also has some beautiful things to say about grief and loss. Poetically written and so inspired!

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May 16, 2013 Josh added it

Recommended to Josh by: Sarah Baker

Shelves: level-4-read-understood

I hated these people for much of the book. Ridiculous in their idealism. Tried to establish principles to live by, and broke other principles in establishing those. Also incorporated convenient traditional and Christian principles to support the ones they already wanted to follow. Then they broke those when convenient, often without noticing (but with me noticing, margin-scrawling in crumbling pencil). Inconsistency is tolerable only when admitted to and praised, and then scarcely (as in Emerson...more I hated these people for much of the book. Ridiculous in their idealism. Tried to establish principles to live by, and broke other principles in establishing those. Also incorporated convenient traditional and Christian principles to support the ones they already wanted to follow. Then they broke those when convenient, often without noticing (but with me noticing, margin-scrawling in crumbling pencil). Inconsistency is tolerable only when admitted to and praised, and then scarcely (as in Emerson's essay about independence and his "consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds").

Also this story was about romantic love, and I dislike most love stories (that are about love). So there's my bias.

Also this story was about a romantic notion of beauty, and I dislike beauty b/c I'm jealous of everyone else who understands it. So there's my gigantic freakin bias.

The writer is self-satisfied with having been C. S. Lewis's "friend", when his letters show a relationship more like professor-student, with a student who "got" some things.

The author spends his life running away from what he could be doing, saying that he is living life to its fullest by being free to do as he wishes and when, and experiencing the beauty of nature and his mate and God. That might be an acceptable way to live for him, although I'm certain it is a bad way for some people, but he wrongly implies it is better for everyone.

Having said all that.

I did see some beauty, as I stayed as open to it as I can be. And I liked some of what I saw through him. And I saw the value of the emotions that come from the beauty, and how they might be connected. Any book the teaches me or opens me up gets at least three stars, no matter how much I'd like to be a judgmental ass and give it two.

I almost gave it four for having letters in Lewis's words, which were fun to read, even when he wasn't smacking down the ever-so-unique and clever ideas of the author.

But seriously, if you're interested in how a duprass would look in the real world, and you want to understand free spirits, and you want to see beauty and love, this book is rich in them.

Also, the author rewards you for paying attention to his words, which he highly values, by repeating certain themes, and I give props for some writing talent. And he looks into himself a bit, and explains why he acts certain ways, which also entertained me.(less)

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Apr 30, 2008 Peyton Smith rated it 5 of 5 stars

Trying to condense this book into a tiny review will be rather difficult for me. This is THE FIRST book I recommend to anyone in any conversation any time literature comes up. By turns this book is one of the most romantic, beautifully written, intellectually stimulating, and downright entertaining books I've ever held in my two hands. For months after I finished the book I would see it sitting on my desk and grow sad thinking of how much I missed time with Sheldon and Davie. Countless times I'v...more

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Aug 11, 2007 Elise rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a book that I absolutely love, about a couple who decide to live with their love as their God. It's a pretty amazing relationship, and along the way, they encounter the Living God. It's such a lovely story (and it's true!) and heartbreaking at the same time.
The only caveat is that the beginning of the book is dreadfully slow. I urge anyone who starts reading this book to press on past Sheldon's little stroll down memory land, and wait for the good stuff.
And, as an added bonus, our good...more

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Jan 06, 2011 Gail rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was given this book after the sudden death of a good friend. Anyone who has loved and lost will relate to Sheldon, an incredible writer and observer, and have difficulty not shedding a few more tears. Sheldon got to a depth of feeling and humanity that I didn't expect in expressing love. I think many would be jealous of a couple who managed to stay in the summer of their love for 15 years and wish for their own "Shining Barrier" to ward off anything that would harm love's growth. Fans of C.S....more

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Apr 23, 2013 Elizabeth Moore rated it 5 of 5 stars

Severe mercy. That’s a rather chilling way to describe something containing so much hope and freedom.

Mercy can often be misunderstood, thrown down and trampled upon by our raw emotions. How can something so good cost so much? Isn’t mercy the act of setting free; a pardon from a much deserved punishment? Why then this sting? Could it be that mercy comes at a high price? Perhaps. And if so, does it come at the expense of the giver or the receiver?

I’m not here to answer these questions. I would...more

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Aug 31, 2012 Wendy rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is an introspective analysis of a love affair more than an autobiography. Van and Davy have a "perfect" love but one that was cut short. Van analyses their relationship and their intentional efforts to keep their "in-loveness" always. Intellectuals, their story necessarily includes intellectualizing. At times, that felt ponderous, at other times, it struck me as patronizing.
The twist in this love story is Davy's unexpected salvation. This threatens their love, as for the first time they c...more This is an introspective analysis of a love affair more than an autobiography. Van and Davy have a "perfect" love but one that was cut short. Van analyses their relationship and their intentional efforts to keep their "in-loveness" always. Intellectuals, their story necessarily includes intellectualizing. At times, that felt ponderous, at other times, it struck me as patronizing.
The twist in this love story is Davy's unexpected salvation. This threatens their love, as for the first time they cannot intentionally share everything. Van sets out to examine Christianity for himself, even writing to C.S.Lewis as another intellectual, for help in understanding the faith. Like Lewis, he too, comes to believe in Jesus Christ through his intellectual investigation.
The book then turns to Davy's illness and death and Van's path through the loss of his life's love even as Lewis' wife, too, sickens and dies at around the same time. The two men continue their acquaintance and support through letters. Vanauken includes Lewis' to him in the book to help explain his thoughts and motivations through his spiritual journey. It did feel at times as if he was name-dropping yet at the same time, I did see how Lewis greatly influenced him and therefore how his letters were apropos to the story.
Lewis' letters were for me the highlight of the book, in fact. This was probably because I found the intentional dissection of the love story a little too self-conscious and patronizing, especially since the dissector was one of the principal actors in this real life drama. There was much that stimulated thought and I enjoyed some of the intellectual discussions and questions that made up a great deal of the book but I could not get past the self-conscious tone. I definitely felt as though Vanauken felt superior to his readers and, as such, I was left emotionally removed and strangely unmoved throughout what was, after all, an emotionally charged story - lifelong love and spiritual joy found; then love and youth tragically cut short. (less)

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May 26, 2012 Jen4short rated it 4 of 5 stars

A book that currently receives MY 5 star rating has to have all of this going for it. 1) It has to be well-written. 2) It has to NOT BE an idealized vision of reality. 3) It must possess some of *history* in it. 4)It must in some way conform to my worldview. 5)It must have something of "The Inklings" in it. This book rates 4 stars. In four areas, it excelled. However, the one aspect of it that I found irritating throughout was the idealism inherent in Sheldon and Davy's pre-Christian (and to som...more

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Feb 27, 2010 Rachel Crooks rated it 4 of 5 stars

Although I got irritated with Vanauken's self-congratulatory narrative style, in the end I found that he allowed the joke to be on him, which I liked him better for :), and which truly made this story great.
The story begins with the author's marriage to Davy, who is his best friend. Early on, the couple decides at all cost to preserve their "inloveness": to let nothing come between them - not material possessions, or other people, or even personal selfishness - they decide that if either has a...more

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Feb 16, 2010 Benjamin rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: to-read-again

Beautiful... Story of finding love, exploring that love, finding God, balancing (or not) that faith with human love, and then human love lost. This is a love story, which I am not prone to enjoy. But Vanauken is so expressive in his language that it fueled me to continue on. This is one for me to read again. Some quotes:

"The actual thing - inloveness - requires something like a spark leaping back and forth from one to the other becoming more intense every moment, love building up like voltage in...more

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Nov 08, 2009 Katy rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was lent to me by a very dear friend. It's not a book I would normally read. It's interesting because at the beginning of the book, I was kind of irritated by the author and his views on the purpose of life and his ideas of what love should be like. Rather than finding it romantic, I thought a relationship of his type would be suffocating and obsessive! Still, I plowed along. I enjoyed the boating and the conversion to Christianity and the great insights from his friend, C.S. Lewis. I...more

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May 15, 2009 PhilorChelsy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: chelsys-readings

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Parts of this story that I loved...

...a couple achieving a unique and very strong love:
"...the central 'secret' of enduring love: sharing....If one of us likes ANYTHING, there must be something to like in it- and the other one must find it. Every single things that either of us likes. That way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together....And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty but on the FACT of a thousand sharings- a thousan...more Parts of this story that I loved...

...a couple achieving a unique and very strong love:
"...the central 'secret' of enduring love: sharing....If one of us likes ANYTHING, there must be something to like in it- and the other one must find it. Every single things that either of us likes. That way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together....And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty but on the FACT of a thousand sharings- a thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable."

...a conversion to Christianity and the experiences that come as they are truly honest with themselves in trying to live Christ-centered lives:
"...it appeared to us that there was veyr little interest in living a life centred in [Christ:]. People went to church of course, but their conversation was about the convivial Couples Club or the radical racial ideas of the bishop. No doubt Christ was in the churches, somewhere, but He was not easy to find."

...and insites from C.S. Lewis in his friendship with the author:
C.S. Lewis, in his second letter to me at Oxford, asked how it was that I, as a product of a materialistic universe, was not at home there...if we complain of time and take such joy in the seemingly timeless moment, what does it suggest?
It suggests that we have not always been or will not always be purely temporal creatures. It suggests that we were created for eternity....We are always amazed at [time:]- how fast it goes, how slowly it goes, how much of it is gone. Where, we cry, has time gone? We aren't adapted to it, not at home in it. If that is so, it may appear as a proof, or at least a powerful suggestion, that eternity exists and is our home."

"Death-corruption-resurrection is the true rhythm....You can't develop a false sense of a duty to cling to sadness if-...sadness begins to vanish? There is great good in bearing sorrow patiently: I don't know that there is any virtue in sorrow just as such. It is a Christian duty, as you know, for everyone to be as happy as he can." C.S. Lewis

Interesting thoughts on homosexuality by C.S. Lewis:
"...I take it for certain that the physical satisfaction of homosexual desires is sin. This leaves the homo. no worse off than any normal person who is, for whatever reason, prevented from marrying. Second, our speculations on the cause of the abnormality are not what matters and we must be content with ignorance. The disciples were not told why...the man was born blind...only the final cause, that the works of God shd. be made manifest in him. This suggests that in homosexuality, as in every other tribulation, those works can be made manifest: i.e. that every disability conceals a vocation, if only we can find it, wh. will 'turn the necessity to glorious gain.' Of course, the first step must be to accept any privations wh., if so disabled, we can't lawfully get. The homo. has to accept sexual abstinence just as the poor man has to forego otherwise lawful pleasures because he wd. be unjust to his wife and children if he took them....What shd. the positive life of a homo. be?....a pious male homo., now dead, once wrote to me....He believed that his necessity could be turned to spiritual gain: that there were certain social role which mere men and women cd. not give....I am sure that any attempt to evade it (e.g. by mock- or quasi-marriage with a member of one's own sex even if this does not lead to any carnal act) is the wrong way....All I have really said is that, like other tribulations, it must be offered to God and His guidance how to use it must be sought."

I liked the review by The Washington Post:
"No brief review can do justice to the human depth of this book." (less)

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Feb 24, 2013 Jaclyn rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-i-own, christian, classics, memoir, non-fiction, relationships, grief

I will start by saying that I think I read this book at the wrong time in my life to truly get the most out of it, hence the 3 stars. If I had read this book at a different time, it would have spoken to me differently and I could easily have seen giving it 4-5 stars. This is a true love story, and a story about the grief of losing that true love. It's also a story of finding the way to a God you've never believed in. So, if I had recently lost a loved one, particularly my spouse whom I loved mor...more I will start by saying that I think I read this book at the wrong time in my life to truly get the most out of it, hence the 3 stars. If I had read this book at a different time, it would have spoken to me differently and I could easily have seen giving it 4-5 stars. This is a true love story, and a story about the grief of losing that true love. It's also a story of finding the way to a God you've never believed in. So, if I had recently lost a loved one, particularly my spouse whom I loved more than any other person in this world, or even a child or a parent, to where I could relate to the loss and pain Vanauken went through, then I think I would have loved this book. And for that reason, I'm glad I own it. When that time comes for me, I fully intend to refer back to this book, as I think it could help me get through my grief and deal with it in a healthy manner.

However, I read this book simply because it was our monthly book club pick, and to me it was just a story. It was a moving, and inspirational story, but it didn't absolutely blow me away. I don't know Vanauken, or his story, very well. And while I have read C.S. Lewis, and really enjoy his works, reading a book written by a friend of his, containing letters from him, didn't do much for me either. I will say that I enjoyed the letters from C.S. Lewis, and what this book did do was motivate me to read more of his works, or re-read some of my old favorites.

I also really enjoyed hearing about Davy, and about their love story. I think that their relationship was admirable and gives one so much to aspire to. I can only hope to have a fraction of the kind of love the devotion these two shared in my own relationship, and that was my absolute favorite part of the book - their story. Davy as a whole being is also very inspirational to me, and I would love to have met her. I found myself envying her friends, and the student groups that met at their house so regularly. I actually found myself wishing there were more about her in this book than there was. In fact, I would have likely much more enjoyed a book written by her, or have enjoyed this one more if it had contained some of her letters or journal entries. I found myself constantly wondering what she would have said in a situation or how she felt. I fell in love with her a little myself, and can absolutely see what Vanauken loved so much about her. I could see her through his eyes. If that was his goal in writing this book, then he succeeded.

Vanauken though, I didn't feel much for. His writing felt very detached, and I never found myself having any feelings for him, or about his perspective at all. To me he was just a man with a famous and very wise friend, and a wonderful wife. I think he found himself to be very insightful and inspirational, but I didn't agree most of the time, and that's why this book only got 3 stars from me. Most of the time when Vanauken himself was talking and sharing his thoughts/insights, or "reading" us his poems, I was bored. I only cared when it was about Davy, or his conversations with Lewis.

I also don't think there was enough meat with regards to their coming to love and believe in God to have much of an impact. This is really where I would have loved to know Davy’s perspective more in depth, and to hear some of her insights. Although Vanauken came to know and love God, he was always a bit detached, and his story wasn’t quite as inspirational to me as I feel Davy’s would have been, because there was no passion. I did really enjoy his conversations with Lewis in this portion of the story, but again, most of the time it was Lewis’s words and insights I was enjoying, not Vanauken himself. To be fair though, there was one analogy that spoke to me that was Vanauken’s, and it touched on a subject that I had always accepted on faith, because I didn’t have a good understanding of it, which would allow me to accept it on logic as well, and that was with regards to the Trinity. I loved his analogy about being the author of a book, and how God the Father is the author, God as the Son is the main character, and God the Holy Spirit is his essence in all of the other characters, even the bad ones. That was fantastic, and all Vanauken (pp. 116-117).

All in all, this wasn’t a bad read, or a waste of time, but, like I said in the beginning, my review is colored by where I am at in my own personal life right now. I do not yet have my great love. I have not recently lost a loved one, of any kind, for which I am grieving. And it didn’t bring me any deeper in my relationship with God. I think if I could have related just a bit more to any one of the three main themes of this book, I would have loved it all that much more. And I would recommend it highly to anyone who can – especially anyone who is grieving the loss of a spouse, or preparing for their death due to a terminal illness. The insights here, although they didn’t touch me directly, are likely to be the most profound and affecting to those who relate. His grief process was so healthy and so thorough, and that was inspiring to me. I hope that when the time comes for me to grieve a loved one, I can do it as well as he did.
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Apr 06, 2012 Ellie Sorota rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-nonfiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. A gem of a book like this comes along two or three times in life if you are lucky. In A Severe Mercy author Sheldon Vanauken relives his past - telling the story of his adult life. It could be summed up with: falls in love, marries, travels, studies, works, buries and writes. But it is probably more truthful to say: adores, protects, imagines, wrestles, pursues, serves and sees. This is not the traditional tale of how-we-met, but rather - after we met, what-we-sought-to-become. Sheldon and his...more A gem of a book like this comes along two or three times in life if you are lucky. In A Severe Mercy author Sheldon Vanauken relives his past - telling the story of his adult life. It could be summed up with: falls in love, marries, travels, studies, works, buries and writes. But it is probably more truthful to say: adores, protects, imagines, wrestles, pursues, serves and sees. This is not the traditional tale of how-we-met, but rather - after we met, what-we-sought-to-become. Sheldon and his wife, Davy, have an unusual approach to married life. Like all starry-eyed couples, they discuss what their future might look like, but then take things a step further with a total dedication from both parties to make it so. Most important to them is preserving the in-loveness they feel from the start, not wanting to wane away to some friendly sort of relationship. They seek to keep passion alive. Along the journey, various tests to the "Shining Barrier" that protects their love appear. The first of the major trials is when Davy becomes a Christian while Sheldon studies at Oxford. Under the guidance of C.S. Lewis, Sheldon explores his wife's faith. (I'll leave you to discover what becomes of their friendship.)
Throughout the many tests their love faces, the least anticipated is Davy's sickness. Sheldon's willingness to expose his struggling grief to unknown readers is a well-trusted treasure. For no reader can continue turning the pages with a dry eye as you identify with his various feelings of loss. Vanauken also boldly follows C.S. Lewis through the forest to unpack Jesus confusing words in Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple."
My only critique of the book is that the Vanauken's decide seemingly on a whim not to have children when they first meet so that there will be no dividing of their love. This strange commitment follows them through the years and is hardly explained. I found it interesting to learn that Davy, Sheldon's wife, was the daughter of a minister and became pregnant in her teen years, giving her baby up for adoption. I can only surmise that the grief of that situation caused her to shun motherhood with her husband, and he - loving her so fully - kept her secret even from his readers. However, this detail would have added so much to the beginning of the book that I wish he'd been forthcoming and had explained how this affected their decision.
Regardless - it is a book worth reading slowly, to savor each word. (less)

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Oct 01, 2012 J. Alfred rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have a lot to say about this book, so I offer congratulations and a hearty pat on the back to anyone who reaches the end of the review. Now then:
Summary: this is the story of two wildly intelligent persons who fall in love, go to Oxford, meet my hero C.S. Lewis, and become Christians. Then Davy, the wife, dies from a terrible lingering disease. Scene.
As far as romance goes: by both poetic and theological (as a Calvinist, I believe that my wife and I were literally created for each other) incli...more

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Jan 18, 2011 Amy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Amy by: Matthew Rushing

Shelves: nonfiction, 2011, christian, memoirs-biography

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Things I'm taking away from this book:

"For I believe [youthful love] must always be lost in some way: every merely natural love has to be crucified before it can achieve resurrection and the happy old couples have come though a difficult death and re-birth. But far more have missed the re-birth." p 211

"The death of any familiar person-the death, even, of a dog or cat-whether loved or not leaves an emptiness. The great tree goes down and leave and empty place against the sky. If the person is dee...more Things I'm taking away from this book:

"For I believe [youthful love] must always be lost in some way: every merely natural love has to be crucified before it can achieve resurrection and the happy old couples have come though a difficult death and re-birth. But far more have missed the re-birth." p 211

"The death of any familiar person-the death, even, of a dog or cat-whether loved or not leaves an emptiness. The great tree goes down and leave and empty place against the sky. If the person is deeply loved and deeply familiar the void seems greater than all the world remaining. Under the surface of the visible world, there is an echoing hollowness, an aching void-and it cuts one off from the beloved. She is as remote as the stars. But grief is a form of love-the longing for the dear face, the warm hand. It is the remembered reality of the beloved that calls it forth. For an instant she is there, and the void denied. It is no the grief, involving that momentary reality, that cuts one off from the beloved but the void that is loss. In the end one can no longer summon forth that reality, and then one's tears dry up. But while it lasts, it is a shield against the void; and by the time grief wanes, the terrible emptiness of loss has given way to a new world that does not contain the shape of the beloved figure." p 181

"Now I learned a great principle of the way grief operates. As I went through the past, day by day, ten thousand forgotten or half-forgotten memories of Davy came to me with all the colour and vividness of life. For one instant that particular Davy-gay or mocking or inquisitive or adventurous or loving-stands before me, warm and real and alive. I respond to her with a surge of love and pure joy. That is followed an instant later by the awful awareness that this Davy, too, is dead. Then, irresistibly, come the tears-the tears for this particular Davy. Until now she has not been touched by death-and she, to, must die. On the day following, if I reread that bit in the Journal, she will not stand before me: there will be no tears. Each memory calls forth warm living reality once: it is followed by another little death and the tears....I shall always love the memory, but I shall never again be able to evoke this Davy." p 194(less)

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Dec 31, 2012 Shelly rated it 3 of 5 stars

Book #36 for 2012 - There is much I could say about this book (but I won't bore you to tears.) I found parts of it good and interesting but other parts
l-o-n-g and boring. It's the true story of a couple who comes to be Christians after meeting and speaking with C.S. Lewis. I found it interesting that they were able to put aside their "intellectualness" and come to be Christians but, at times, I almost felt like they were saying "see, we're smart and we still believe in God." It bugs me when peo...more

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May 24, 2012 Danielle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: for-the-journey, nonfiction

My sister recommended this and I'm glad she did. A Severe Mercy tells the story of Sheldon and Jean "Davy" Vanauken, a couple brought together in their college years who commit to keeping their love alive. But can their idea of love stand up to the Creator of the universe when He starts to break into their world?

Because this book was written by Sheldon Vanauken, the book is very personal and in-depth. The book wasn't all that great for me in the beginning because he spends so much time describin...more

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Sep 19, 2011 Ron rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, christian_life

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Oct 03, 2012 ladydusk rated it 4 of 5 stars

Own.

This was a worthy addition to my "Year of the Memoir" that I'm currently reading.

I enjoyed the story of Davy and Van, their love story, time at Oxford, conversion to Christianity, and her death and his grief. It provided a complete foil to the grief of The Year of Magical Thinking by Didion, which I read earlier this year.

There were many issues that Van worked through in his Christianity that were worthwhile to think on: joy and eternity being the ones that stand out to me. His thinking on...more

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Feb 04, 2009 Candice rated it 4 of 5 stars

I can't begin to explain how magical this book is. Every sentence thought out with depth, compassion, and beauty.

This book is such a glorious testimony of God's love and mercy in our lives. I cannot recommend this book more to anyone who has ever dealt with loss, grief, loneliness, being in love, pagan pursuits, closure, closeness to God, and understanding of his grace and yet sovereignty.

Sheldon Vanuken recounts his life with his love, Davy and their coming to Christ and everything that follo...more

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Dec 29, 2008 Michael rated it 5 of 5 stars

The writing style of this book is similar to that of C.S. Lewis (perhaps minus some of the humor), who was a good friend of the author. Included are many letters from Lewis, which add to the character of the book.

I found this book to be greatly enriching. The language and style I enjoyed (though I admit I am not a great judge of writing quality), but it was the content drawn from the author's life and the depth of his reflections on his experiences that gave such richness to the book.

The book l...more

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Jul 28, 2012 Will Fleming rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: kerilyn-recommended

The first section of the book is a clear, lovely, poetic account of the the author and his wife falling in love. It is especially compelling because of how well it conveys the amount of thought & time they put into *remaining* in love. Everyone says relationships take work, and it's true, but rarely have I seen somebody explain *what* work they did quite so well.

After that, the book goes downhill. The middle section, largely dealing with their conversion to Christianity, suffers from feeling...more

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May 02, 2009 Kayla rated it 3 of 5 stars

The most distinguishing aspect of this book is the author's commitment to loving his wife. Early on in their relationship, they decided that they must at all costs preserve their "inloveness," and they adopted the mantra that "the killer of love is creeping separateness." While I do think that they took this to an unnecessary extreme (my independent, self-sufficient leanings screamed "no!" repeatedly) I did appreciate seeing this example of how love requires work and sacrifice. Also, it is encou...more

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Feb 08, 2010 Katelyn Beaty rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: bawl-inducing, epitomizes-oxford, grief, memoir, spirituality

Would God take your beloved's life if it were the only way you would turn to him? Honestly the idea repels me, but it's a central theme of VanAuken's memoir of his blissful marriage to his wife Davy, who dies of a mysterious illness several years into their marriage, after the two have become Christians. The first 60 pages tell of their intense love and the 'shining barrier' they build to protect it. Christ destroys it, as both turn to him after falling in with a 'we love Jesus but we are very i...more

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Feb 19, 2009 Sara rated it 3 of 5 stars

True love story following Van and Davey's journey from Hawaii to Oxford to Virginia. I was interested in the love story but more importantly their conversion to Christianity. It is a slightly dated read (the couple marries in the years prior to WWII) but I found their observations and experiences to be fairly universal. Includes correspondence from Van to CS Lewis over the years. I had to kind of force myself to continue at points but then, just as I was going to put it down, I would stumble upo...more

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title link	preview: A Severe Mercy
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56594.A_Severe_Mercy?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348812960l/56594.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56594.A_Severe_Mercy?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken[/url]

A Severe Mercy

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