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The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings In The Ways Of Relationships
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The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings In The Ways Of Relationships

4.27 of 5 stars 4.27  ·  rating details  ·  146 ratings  ·  20 reviews

A renowned, respected teacher and mentor to thousands, Sobonfu Somé is one of the first and foremost voices of African spirituality to come to the West. Somé was born in Dano, Burkina Faso, a remote West African village with a population of about two hundred people. Dano has preserved the old ways of African village life, with family structures, spiritual practices, and me

Paperback, 160 pages
Published January 5th 2000 by William Morrow Paperbacks (first published 1997)
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Are your relationships guided by ego and control or are they guided by spirit? And what would that look like, a relationship guided by spirit? Allow Sobonfu to offer the wisdom from pre-colonial Bhurkino Faso — from the Dagara tribe…where remnants of whole relationships rooted in community and mutual trust and understanding still exist. This book is a beautiful and easy to read collection of thoughts, debunking the Western notions of ‘romance’ and ‘privacy.’
I'm not usually a big fan of how-to books on the subjects of love and relationships, but I make exception with this book, because it really isn't one. Sobonfu (she will seem like a dear friend before you've read much!) has such a warm, gentle, caring voice--the wisdom she shares is of the best and most beautiful sort. She helps her readers become more AWARE of themselves, and their relationships (the book focuses primarily on love/partner relationships, but some elements could certainly be used ...more
This is a deceptively simple book about living in relationship--with one's self, community, world, and the spirit realm. Sobonfu Some portrays the indigenous rituals of the West African culture that she comes from. Her writing is beautiful and characterizes a people with little armor and masks.

This book was a quick read--simple, straight-forward and heartfelt. I experienced an opening--that there is a precious jewel embedded in that simplicity. But it is difficult to translate indigenous wholen
Jeannie Mancini
Sobonfu Some, a member of the West African Dagara tribe, brings to the Western World wisdom uprooted from the ancient elders of her people. This small, concise little gem of a book is filled with practical advice and common sense practices to garner and enhance intimacy in all couple relationships. Although most of her teachings and suggestions are not practical for Westerners because of cultural differences and the negative influences Western society has on our lives today, there are still plen ...more
Very enlightening. This little book answered a lot of questions I had about commitment and about marriage in particular. I also noticed a correlation between the Dagara belief system and that of Christianity (we are all parts of the same body) or even New Age thought (marriage between two people is a gift to the community / world - Marianne Williamson comes to mind) at the end of the day there's only one truth : love is a verb, not a feeling.

Intimacy is Sacred. Community is a Blessing for the co
"The Spirit of Intimacy" provides a very refreshing prospective of relationships and intimacy in the traditional African setting. There is much to think about in this book and it did have me looking at the relationships I maintain with those around me. Indeed there may be valuable relationship lessons to be found in its pages even for us living in Western Society. Recommended reading!
sureshi jayawardene
Some is amazing. The distinctions she makes between the West's ways of intimate relationships and indigenous ways is a great eye-opener. The wisdom she offers is good for any reader looking for ways to grow in their intimate relationships. And if you don't agree with it, a the very least, it's a different perspective on relationships altogether.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who tries to lead a very spiritual life but is unsure how to translate their beliefs into their everyday relationships. Somé also teaches other very important lessons relating to the difficulties that simply being from the West can impose on attempting to connect and attain intimacy with the people that are important to us. Even if you do not believe in indigenous spirituality, if you are willing to suspend disbelief and listen to the core of the text, you ...more
Cassandra Hawkins-Wilson
Given to me by a coworker at the beginning of my divorce, The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships by Sobonfu Some was a very interesting book. Dealing with various aspects of relationships, Some introduces rituals from her village, as well as the theories and methodology surrounding these rituals. Many of the rituals I could not see myself actually practicing, but the symbolic nature of these rituals I could actually see myself incorporating into my life.
Levette Marie
Awesome read...
One of my favorite non-fiction books. This book is like a bunch of thoughts written by an amazing woman, Sobonfu! She is from the Dagra tribe in Ghana and writes little pieces about Dagra culture and values. It is rich, stocked full of culture, and I loved reading it while preparing for my trip to East Africa.
Understanding the multiple definition of intimacy. How it is express in various relationship within a community. And understanding the importance of creating that supportive community for yourself and others.

No matter your background, spiritual, religious belief something can be pickup from reading this book.
Marissa Orchard
Sobonfu was a teacher of mine when I was on a retreat a few years ago, and I love her books almost as much as I love her! This book is amazing. I love how she explains many of the cultural differences between her people in the Dagara tribe and us in the U.S.
Vicci Divine
I would definitely refer to this book often as I strive to connect with spirit and experience intimacy.
Simple yet profound. I'll read it again and definitely refer to it regularly.
Great book. Highly recommended for alternative ways to consider relationships!
Jan 12, 2009 Ayo marked it as to-read
This book was highly recommended. Life changing, I hear!

Best book on relationships in my opinion
Shirley Reid
Brilliant, insightful and well written.
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