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Speaking the Truth in Love
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Speaking the Truth in Love

4.09 of 5 stars 4.09  ·  rating details  ·  114 ratings  ·  22 reviews
Paperback, 200 pages
Published September 1st 1992 by Stephen Ministries
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My mom gave this book to me to read; I didn't know anything about it before I opened it. It surprised me in that it was not about what I thought it would be. I was expecting it to be about ministry - how to speak the Gospel to unbelievers in an assertive way. That just what I assumed from the title. However, this book is more focused on relating to people in everyday life. The author speaks of three kinds of responses: agressive, passive, and assertive. Overall, he says that in some cases it is ...more
I read this book as part of my Stephen Ministry training, but it is helpful information for everyday life as well. This book teaches assertiveness in our relationships and intereactions. As opposed to being passive (quiet, taken advantage of) or aggressive (mean, sarcastic), this book teaches a balanced way of reacting to anger, criticism, compliments, requests, and other areas of our life. I especially liked the many examples of dialog offered in this book which helped me identify areas where I ...more
Christine Polli
This is a book everyone should read. It teaches you how to speak up for yourself without tearing down the person you are speaking to. Also addresses giving and receiving criticism and compliments. Skills we all need!
"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild"? Forget it!

This book, read for my Stephen Ministry Training, provides insight, instruction and practical tools for how to behave respectfully assertive.

Passive behavior? Bleh. Aggressive behavior? Bad. Passive-aggressive behavior? Blind sighting.

Respectfully assertive = bingo.

I'm already finding opportunities to put these wonderful tools in action.

Oct 23, 2007 Amy rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone interested in assertive communication
I read this for a women's leadership retreat. This book finds its foundation in biblical teachings, but it is so wise and practical that anyone of any faith can benefit from it. The book examines three dysfunctional communication styles -- passive, aggressive, and the ever-popular passive-aggressive -- and then provides practical skills for not only communicating assertively but also knowing how to "assertively choose" when to be passive or aggressive (yes, there are appropriate times for both). ...more
For me, this book was a bit like taking medicine: not something I enjoyed, something I truly needed, anyway.
While I don't have trouble being assertive with strangers, or even acquaintances, for the most part I become a doormat for those whom I love. While I have gotten somewhat better at being assertive over the years, this book has shown me new techniques to get even healthier (by the grace of God).
Sep 20, 2009 Carrie added it
I learned a great deal about myself from reading this book. It was a required reading for Stephen Mininstry Training. It will show you how to handle anger, criticism and other tough relational issues. You'll learn practical ways to relate to others with greater honesty, compassiona and respect.
Very much a common sense book.
Carolyn Beaugrand
A good friend of mine, in Stephens Ministry, told me about this book. It
sounded incredible to me and helped me a lot. I tend to not be as assertive as I should. I wish there were some type of message board for this book.
Apr 27, 2008 Squatch rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone who feels like a door mat
You wouldn't know by the title but this book is about assertiveness.
Many people confuse assertiveness with being pushy or manipulative. But it is actually just expressing your feelings and desires honestly.
Great material on moving past aggressive and passive interactions toward healthier, assertive ones. I read this as part of Stephen Ministry training. There's a lot of learning behind this slender volume!
Do you remember assertiveness training in the 70's? This is a good refresher on communication skills! Reading it for a class but gaining insight from it! What's next? "I'm OK, You're OK"?
Great reminder and support to consider when communicating. I like this book because it helps me see how relating daily is viewed by biblical text. I enjoyed this very much.
it was for my class. not anything i'd pick up on my own, and not anything my common sense side doesn't say "well duh" to.... but still probably worth hearing. :)
I planned to skim this book, but found myself reading it, at least sections. It is easy to read and practical in its application for relational life skills.
Feb 26, 2013 Gretchen rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Stephen Ministers, any Christian
Shelves: spirituality
One of my most important "How-to-Live" books. Best treatment ever of assertive v. passive v. aggressive.
Diane Blodgett
A good book on not only being an assertive Christian, but also on being an assertive person.
I wish this was a required book to read when I was in High School. A great book for anyone.
Julia Walker
Well written and helpful in knowing how to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.
I'm reading this book as part of my Stephen Ministry training. Very interesting so far.

This book should be required reading for every pastor's wife!
I wish I owned this book, so I could reread and study it.
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