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How to Be Single

by Liz Tuccillo

3.32 of 5 stars 3.32 · rating details · 1,927 ratings · 342 reviews

It's the most annoying question and they just can't help asking you:

Why are you single?

On a brisk October morning in New York, Julie Jenson, a single thirty-eight-year-old book publicist, gets a hysterical phone call from her friend Georgia. Reeling from her husband's announcement that he is leaving her for a samba teacher, Georgia convinces a reluctant Julie to organize a

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Paperback, 404 pages

Published June 10th 2008 by Atria Books (first published January 1st 2008)

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Feb 08, 2009 Sim rated it 3 of 5 stars

I can't quite figure out whether I want to give the book two stars or three. On one hand, each character - filled with pathos and false bravado, reminded me of well... me. And all my female friends. On the other hand, it felt ridiculous and contrived (which naturally upsets me). And at the end of reading the book, I'm torn about whether or not I liked the book.

This was an essay disguised as a novel,and reads like a non-fiction, which works for the book. I didn't hate the book - it flows well en...more I can't quite figure out whether I want to give the book two stars or three. On one hand, each character - filled with pathos and false bravado, reminded me of well... me. And all my female friends. On the other hand, it felt ridiculous and contrived (which naturally upsets me). And at the end of reading the book, I'm torn about whether or not I liked the book.

This was an essay disguised as a novel,and reads like a non-fiction, which works for the book. I didn't hate the book - it flows well enough. And I think I cringed at all the right places, because well, you know - I've been there. Or know someone who has. With all the recycled notions of love and relationships, that's the effect the author was going for, and that's the effect she got from me.

And that's also what's wrong with the book, that it's filled with cliches and a sense of hopelessness. It's depressing to think that 38 year old single women are the same as 28 year old single women who are, apparently, the same as 18 year old single women.If the conversations sound familiar, it's because they are ones you've had at some point, with some friend. And the men are not spared the steretyping either. If all the men in the book are jackasses, it's because apparently, there are no good ones. Especially single ones. None of the men are apparently worthy of us, and yet we are still stupid enough to want them.

The stereotypes extend to countries as well. The cultural comparisons of the "Stupid Americans" who want it all vs. the pragmatic french, the passionate Italians, the sexy Brazilians, the cool Icelanders, the calculating,freedom-loving Chinese, the arranged-marriage-friendly Indians... were annoyingly trite as well. And you read about each culture, but dont' end up any wiser about their approach to life and singlehood.

The book tells you what you already know, and tries to tell you you're still okay. But at the end of it, I didn't feel okay. I felt inexplicably sad. The author sneers at how easily people tell us we need to love ourselves, and yet, ends with the admission that, " I think we are going to have to love ourselvs. Fuck. I know. I know".

And for that, you're supposed to smile and say, yes I knew too.

But the truth of the matter is, no I DON'T know. And neither does Tuccillo.
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Jul 25, 2011 Melanie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book is Sex and the City meets Eat, Pray, Love is the best way to describe this book. You have 5 women focused around the central character, Julie. Julie works for a publisher and is off to write a book about being single across the world after a humiliating night out. Her friends that barely know each other in the beginning become her Sex and the City girls.

Alice is a Legal Aid Attorney who quits her job for a new career in dating. She meets a wonderful guy and is tired of dating - will sh...more

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Jul 01, 2009 April rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was an awesome, fun, inspiring read. It's about a 38-year old woman Julie. She's single. She has 4 single friends, and she decides to travel the world to write a book about single women in different countries. Among the places she visits are Rome, Ireland, India. In each country she meets all kinds of women, and in each country, women have a different take on being single. The author actually did do the research - her information in the fiction book was real. And I found it fascinating.

I l...more

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Jul 12, 2008 Kristen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Tuccillo's estrogen-fueled storyline of five single friends in New York looking for love is just what a day at the beach ordered. (Wait...wasn't there a popular cable t.v. series about single women in NYC? Oh right, Tuccillo wrote for that famed show, too.) The main protagonist, Julie, goes left of her usual rationally centered life; She quits her desk job and vows to travel and write about how single women are living around the world. Meanwhile, back in the states, her four friends are coping w...more

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Feb 06, 2009 Lives with Books rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book was so depressing.

It made me feel like "I need to get married" and at the same time, "It will never happen because all men are bastards."

It should have been called, "Accept You're Single Now Because Noone Will Ever Want You."

7 likes · like · see review

Oct 26, 2009 Rashaal added it

I was shocked when I finally finished reading the book. I am amazed by the time and money I lost reading this book.
Anyhow the cover was very eye catching since it's a great marketing logo for single women, stories regarding the 5 women were neither realistic nor interesting to read about.

The interesting part of it all was when Liz the writer decided to acknowledge her friends through the whole helping journey with the book and the one name that I can recognize linked to the Middle East was Dim...more

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Apr 01, 2009 Natalye rated it 3 of 5 stars

"How To Be Single" -Liz Tuccillo (2008)

Okay, not gonna lie. Even though I am not a huge fan of the chick-lit genre, I totally enjoyed reading this book. I picked it up on a whim, as more of a joke. The title stood out as something that me and my also newly-divorced roommate could get on board with, and it conveniently turned out to be by the coauthor of "He's Just Not That Into You" - a book we both want to read and a movie we want to see even more.

It was one of those books that kept me intrigue...more

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Nov 19, 2012 Shonna Froebel rated it 2 of 5 stars

The author of this book travelled the world to get experiences of single women in a variety of countries. Her main character Julie did the same. Julie left her job as a publicist for a publishing company and signed a book deal with her employer to write a book about being single.
The story goes back and forth between Julie on her travels in various cities and countries and her single friends back in New York. Her story begins with a discussion of why each of those friends is single. Her friends a...more

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Oct 06, 2011 Rebecca rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: chicklit

It's been a while since I read some chick-lit. This book was a little more high-brow then what I usually pick up, but still good none-the-less. Single girl in a dead end job gathers her single friends together for a night out and they go a little crazy. Things change after that. Girl gets a book advance out of thin air (essentially) and takes off on a trip around the world to see if single women in other countries have the same issues as Americans. While she is away, the story is a mix of her ad...more

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Jul 24, 2009 Helen rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book had great potential, and many great moments, but doesn’t deliver in the end. After a night out with her four single girlfriends, Julie decides to travel the globe interviewing single women for a book about dating in different cultures.

It’s a great premise, except that Julie gets air sick every time she flies and is too shy to talk to strangers on her own. Fortunately, one of her friends is able to fly across the world to each country she visits to hold her hand. And in every country s...more

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Feb 20, 2012 Mary rated it 4 of 5 stars

Fair warning: unless you are a single woman in her mid to late 30's, you may find this book trite and possibly annoying. However, should you fall within the target demographic, read on. I did...twice! Tuccillo co-wrote "He's Just not that Into You," which should give you some indication of the combo insight and humor awaiting you here.

What I loved here, and made me laugh over and over, is how nutty we get at a certain age when we haven't married. Yes, I know that married folk have their own ide...more Fair warning: unless you are a single woman in her mid to late 30's, you may find this book trite and possibly annoying. However, should you fall within the target demographic, read on. I did...twice! Tuccillo co-wrote "He's Just not that Into You," which should give you some indication of the combo insight and humor awaiting you here.

What I loved here, and made me laugh over and over, is how nutty we get at a certain age when we haven't married. Yes, I know that married folk have their own identity crises around this same age. Who am I? Have I lost myself in my kids? What do I do now that they don't need me as much anymore? But I'm single, so I can't related to any of that. What I DO relate to is a group of somewhat maniacal women who have been single adults for somewhere around 20 years, and are now faced with the very real possibility that this is it, no prince charming is coming for them.

First, anyone single for that long will inevitably get stuck in their own head: man, woman, feline...it doesn't matter. No matter what our self-esteem, some narcissism sneaks in. We may love or hate ourselves, but if we are single too long we become convinced our problems are on the level of the Greek economical crisis. Perspective gets lost in the shuffle of the years.

Second,the idea of being single forever is rolling around in our heads. Maybe we're fine addressing this directly and openly, or maybe not. Either way it's there, and I believe we start to reshape our lives, trying to find our true selves, our bliss, and our fulfillment in our non-traditional lifes. In the same way the stay at home mom goes back to school, finds a part-time job or decides she has to run that marathon, we single gals make life-changing decisions right about this time. But since we are unencumbered, ours can border on the ridiculous, much like Tuccillo's characters. So we buy pets and convert them into our children, and they shape each and every of our life decisions. We quit our jobs and run off to become a buddist monk. We take Stella got her Groove Back trips to places like Brazil (but note, unlike in this book, most of us don't hire male prostitutes).

What i interpreted to be Tuccillo's underlying message here: the best way to be single is stop trying so hard and just live your life. It's messy no matter what, so just shrug your shoulders and go along for the ride. Easier said than done, but I would like to give it a try. (less)

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Jul 26, 2010 Debbie Petersen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Found this in the bargain bin at B&N for $5.00 It had a few funny moments and moments of truth...who hasn't experienced waiting for the guy to call, then thinking "Well, maybe something happened? Maybe there has been an ACCIDENT, he is in the hospital in a full body cast and is desperately trying to write a message with the pencil in his mouth telling the nurse to call me, but it keeps falling out?" Though these days, it is hearing the "click" of a new email dropping and looking hopefully, o...more

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Aug 19, 2011 Kathy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: chicklit, random-library

So, where do I start...
Well, first off, the title of the book is so contradictory to what it is actually about. The title should be: “How NOT to be single”.

I am disappointed in this book because personally becoming recently single after being in a serious long term relationship I was hoping to read a book that gives you advice and insight into how to be okay being single. Not that I need it, but that’s what I assumed the book would be about, given the title.

The overall feeling I got from the bo...more So, where do I start...
Well, first off, the title of the book is so contradictory to what it is actually about. The title should be: “How NOT to be single”.

I am disappointed in this book because personally becoming recently single after being in a serious long term relationship I was hoping to read a book that gives you advice and insight into how to be okay being single. Not that I need it, but that’s what I assumed the book would be about, given the title.

The overall feeling I got from the book, was that your life is meaningless unless you have a man in your life. Because the chances of meeting anyone are impossible, as there is a man drought, and without a man your life is pointless. So just get used to the fact that your life will be loveless and hopeless. Not a nice message to send to the world in a book. Especially to your fellow single women.
But, in saying that, I did appreciate the author stating the facts as they are. No fairytale movies, no happily ever afters’, that we usually get fed by TV and Hollywood. Even though you felt ambushed by all the depressiveness about it, at least you were fed the truth, and it left you armed with knowledge.

What I absolutely hated about the book, were the female characters, that we were supposed to related to. Are women really like this? Maybe it’s because I’m a decade younger than these women that I think differently. They just oozed desperateness. They were all train-wrecks that had no idea of who they were and what they wanted. They all dreamt about the fantasy fairytale love that doesn’t exist. And even after travelling the world and seeing and learning about other cultures they didn’t learn anything. It just seemed so immature for them at 38, to still believe that a man will solve all their problems and is their key to happiness.
There were so many theories and situations that made me so angry. The author’s opinion about pet ownership; the section which dealt with single mothers; the judgements and sometimes racism of Julie to other cultures and how they live; and the ‘doesn’t the world revolve around America?” mentality.

From the comments above it’s probably surprising that I’ve given this book 3 starts. But even though I totally hated and disagreed with 95% of it, this book did make me feel strongly about it. My girlfriends and I have had some superb discussions as a result of it.
I have not felt so depressed and angry about a book in a very long time, so that’s got to count for something.
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May 09, 2011 Heather Olson rated it 2 of 5 stars

While Tuccillo made some valid points, and there were things I could identify with as a single woman myself, overall the novel fell flat for me. The narrative switched tenses at random at times (and somehow was omnipotent even though it was supposed to be from Julie's point of view), the characters were almost too stereotypical, and most of the jokes were lame. I could appreciate moments of it, but the redeeming moment only comes in the last few pages, after the entire novel is spent proclaiming...more

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Dec 27, 2012 Laurel-Rain rated it 3 of 5 stars

When Julie Jensen, a New York book publicist, gets a hysterical phone call from her friend Georgia, whose husband has just walked out on her for a much younger woman, she begins to assemble a group of friends to take Georgia out and introduce her to the singles scene.

But along the way toward showing her what a fun-filled life she can now have, Julie realizes something. None of her friends is really having much fun, and in their lives are great spaces full of lost hopes and dreams.

So Julie's next...more When Julie Jensen, a New York book publicist, gets a hysterical phone call from her friend Georgia, whose husband has just walked out on her for a much younger woman, she begins to assemble a group of friends to take Georgia out and introduce her to the singles scene.

But along the way toward showing her what a fun-filled life she can now have, Julie realizes something. None of her friends is really having much fun, and in their lives are great spaces full of lost hopes and dreams.

So Julie's next idea is to take time off to study the singles phenomenon and afterwards to write a book about it.

Sort of a journey toward finding some answers.

She starts traveling, with one or another of her friends, and visits France, Italy, Argentina, India, Bali, etc. The travels are seemingly endless and her discovery of what single (and married) life looks like in other parts of the world inspires her to try on new experiences. Just to see. Is romantic love a good basis for marriage? What is better or worse about arranged marriages? Does everyone need to be part of a couple to be happy?

Like an anthropological study, but also a way to connect to other women and learn from them, Julie's experiences bring out her own fears and dash some of her hopes. What will happen to Julie afterwards? And what about her friends back in the states who are also going through their own trial journeys? Like Serena, who tried a spiritual journey, but left the cult disappointed. Or how about Ruby, who thinks single parenting is the answer for her? What will she discover? And finally, Georgia learns that sometimes you uncover a host of insecurities that seemingly spiral outward from the initial rejection, but in the end, you realize some valuable things about what you need.

And on the last leg of their journey, the women discover something unexpected: they have formed a connection to one another. And in a ritual they discover in Iceland, where they all converge toward the end, they realize that they can let their expectations go.

"How to Be Single: A Novel" is narrated in the first person by Julie, whose thoughts and feelings fill the pages, and who is not the least bit afraid to show her darkest moments. In some ways, though, the experiment smacked of massive self-absorption. A study of what privileged women might do to make sense of their world. A fictional tale that felt like a memoir, however, and like a conversation with the narrator.

While I found many parts of the book fun and enjoyed laughing at how each of the women seemed unafraid of looking vulnerable, I didn't feel that connected to any of the characters. Their lives did not resonate for me, and the whole thing felt too reminiscent of Eat, Pray, Love. But for those who enjoy stories about New York women, or privileged women looking for love, you might like this one. For me: 3.5 stars.
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Jan 19, 2011 Kimberly rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is one of those books that I purchased because of decent viral PR. Written by someone that made a few bucks off of writing for "Sex and the City" and from co writing "He's Just Not That Into You" (barf book.. but still good common sense), you'd think that this would warrant a read a la Candace Bushnell's original "Sex and the City" page turner.

Unfortunately, it's not - but in a decent way.

Tuccillo succeeds in having her protagonist discover and experience various different ways that single...more

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Aug 17, 2009 Gina rated it 2 of 5 stars

Okay, so this book is better than a lot of other "two star" books I've rated. It's amusing in parts, and brings up some good issues about single women in their 30s, and how it can be difficult to find good men in the same age bracket. I also appreciate that the author did some research on what single women in other countries do about the same issues (although I REALLY wondered if it was more autobiographical than fiction).

However, I simply could not get past the author's opinion that the main is...more

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Feb 12, 2011 Rachel rated it 1 of 5 stars

I know this book was intended as chic lit fiction; but the ethnocentrism in the book was derailing for me. The main character Julie epitomizes the ugly American abroad.

In Australia she writes: “Like an aborigine with a bottle of Wild Turkey, Georgia spiraled out of control.” and “Her name was Fiona Crenshaw from Tasmania (a small island off the coast of southern Australia).”

Then in China she writes: “In Beijing, as I soon found out, they enjoy “squatter” toilets. Even in some upscale establishm...more

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Feb 06, 2012 Angie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was my second time "reading" this audio book.

Julie decides to travel the world to see what it means to be single in other countries, since she and her friends all find themselves in their 30s and single (gasp!). She proposes this idea to her boss at the publishing house, and her trip is born. She travels to several different countries and experiences love and freedom while doing her "research." While she is away, her friends grow close in the states, and a few even visit her at some point i...more

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Apr 05, 2009 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: chick-lit, fiction, read-in-2009

This book was just okay. I think I had problems with it because I am not single and in my late thirties so I couldn't relate to the characters. While I do understand love is an elusive thing that many people do not find, I happen to be one of the lucky ones, so a lot of this book seemed trite and flighty to me. However, as the book went on I did grow to like all the women and how the author went back and forth between Julie's travels and what was happening to all her firends back in the States w...more

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Dec 30, 2011 DubaiReader rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: abridged-audiobook, 2011

Chick-lit: 3.5 stars.

The abreviated audio CD was read by Judy Greer in a rather twee voice that grated at times, but my expectation of chick-lit was somewhat tempered by the travel aspect.

Thirty-something Julie decides to travel around the world with a view to writing a book about how single women deal with their situation in various countries.
She leaves her four single friends, with all their various problems, and travels from Paris to Rome, India to China, Brazil to Iceland, interviewing singl...more

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Oct 17, 2011 Kayla rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

This was "Eat, Pray, Love" for a girl who isn't trying to get over a broken marriage, but find where she fits in to the love spectrum. Funny and heartwarming, Tuccillo succeeds in making you feel just enough of sorry for these girls before allowing them to become pathetic. All of the characters were charming in their own way, but I found myselves forgetting some of their stories as it zoomed from NYC back to where Julie was at the time. In a journey of self-exploration that most would love to ex...more

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Mar 29, 2010 Shelleyrae at Book'd Out rated it 2 of 5 stars

Maybe because I have never really been single, I just found this trite. From the perspective of being married, I want to tell these thirty something women to grow up and get over the princess in waiting attitude. I feel like most of the women have completely unrealitic expectations of what love and commitment are. Really if the reason Julie can't get a guy is because she is only a size 6 and has celluite - then how does that explain the hordes of happily coupled/married size 12 and up women?
Juli...more

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Apr 09, 2009 Elizabeth rated it 3 of 5 stars

Author Liz Tuccillo was an executive story editor for Sex and the City...it's no surprise because she writes with the same attitude of Carrie and the girls. The protagonist is very similar to Carrie, in that she corrals a group of single women to rise above their communal feeling that time is running out. Each one of them is quirky and successful in her own right, and together they're an unstoppable force. The main character literally travels around the globe in search of what keeps single women...more

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Jun 26, 2012 Jaclyn rated it 2 of 5 stars

I think this book had such promise. I love the idea of the main character traveling around the world to see what the lives of single women are like in other parts of the world. However, it seemed to me to miss the point entirely when the main character enters into a "relationship" in the first country she visits and then continues the relationship and lets it taint the rest of her trip. It ended up being an overall depressing and disappointing book. I wouldn't recommend it at all - especially to...more

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Jul 26, 2009 Beth Schneider rated it 2 of 5 stars

I am not a chick lit reader. Never have been and this book, while entertaining at times, reminded me why I never will be. I only read this book because a friend bought it for me & wanted to discuss it. It rmeinded me quite a bit of Sex & the City and, uncoincidnetally, the author was an executive story editor for the show. It's based around a group of women who are all single in their late thirties & early forties. It seems that their main goal in life is to get married and their liv...more

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Jan 03, 2009 Kathy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I don't think I should have read this book. It socked me in the really tender spot in the gut where just-recognizable-enough self-help books and chick lit and romantic comedies always seem to get me. Instead of the aimed for takeaway message of "You're OK and don't give up", the one I have walked away with is "You're not making any of this up and it's awful out there so if you decide to sit on the couch and just eat cookie dough it won't make anything any worse."

My friend Suj and I have dubbed t...more

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Jan 28, 2012 Felicia rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009-read

This book was a decent read. It was hard to get into but the idea of the book was a good one. Basically a woman in her late-30's decides to figure out how single women all over the world handled being single. She visited France, Australia, India, and a few other places. It was a good idea. Along the way, you also get updates on her friends back in New York (this is where the book was a little thin and harder to read) and their problems with their singledom. If this sounds familiar it is because...more

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Jan 14, 2012 Denise rated it 4 of 5 stars

I loved the TV show Sex in the City and the voice of Carrie is heard through the book's main character--probably because Tuccillo wrote for the TV series.

It's as if Carrie found four new girlfriends and decided to undertake an Eat, Pray, Love writer's jaunt--not with Mr. Big, but with a French Mr. Bigger, named Thomas, as her guide. Their mission? To find out how women across the globe are coping with being single.

The story isn't original, but I enjoyed it. It's a perfect airplane or beach read...more

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Feb 17, 2009 Stacy rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: my friends of the fairer sex

When my good friend handed me this book and said, "Here, you might like this." My first thought was, "You have got to be kidding me." Of course, I thanked her. Yes, the book is about a thirty-something single woman and her thirty-something single friends trying to find their way in the world, and yes, I now fall into that category. I admit, I passed immediate judgment on the book solely based on the fact that the author co-wrote He's Just Not That Into You and was editor of Sex and the City ....more

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About Liz Tuccillo

Liz Tuccillo is an American writer and actress best known for her work on the HBO comedy series Sex and the City and for co-authoring (with Greg Behrendt) the self-help book He's Just Not That Into You. Her first novel, How to Be Single, was published in June 2008.

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More about Liz Tuccillo...

Books by Liz Tuccillo

He's Just Not That Into You - Your Daily Wake-up Call

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

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Quotes from How to Be Single

“I think we are going to have to love ourselves. Fuck.” — 23 people liked it

“Now the uncle spoke up. 'This cannot be,' he said. 'The human being is designed for many things. Loneliness is not one of them.' ... Mrs. Ramani leaned into me, and said, as a statement of fact. 'We are not meant to go through this life alone.” — 1 person liked it

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