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Cassandra French's Finishing School for Boys

3.33 of 5 stars 3.33  ·  rating details  ·  334 ratings  ·  62 reviews
Cassandra French 29 has three handsome young men chained to cots in her basement. They're enrolled in her Finishing School For Boys. Cassie has spent years in the dating hell that is Los Angeles, finding endless disappointment. Jason Kelly, major heart-throb, tries to seduce Cassie into fudging a contract. That's no way to treat a lady -- and Cassie has just the cure.
Paperback, 304 pages
Published June 28th 2005 by William Morrow Paperbacks (first published June 1st 2004)
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Best Dark Humor
256th out of 460 books — 1,036 voters
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 553)
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Katy
Dec 05, 2012 Katy marked it as to-read
Recommended to Katy by: Mitch
My penance... Or I guess punishment...
Mitch says, "If you're gonna go psycho over Opal, might as well take it to its logical conclusion."
Chicgeekgirl21
The book itself isn't exactly great literature, but the concept is hilarious. Cassandra French is your typical "chick-lit" heroine: she has a high-powered job working in the media, a dickish boss, and a clingy, annoying mother. But Cassandra is unlike Bridget Jones and Becky Bloomwood in that she also has three men chained in her basement who have been forcibly "enrolled" in her de facto finishing school. Yes, Cassandra keeps a container of chloroform in the trunk of her car and whenever she goe ...more
Heather
My friend made me read this book since she wanted someone else to suffer and have someone to discuss the absolute whacked stuff that happens in this book. I will admit that the book is well written, but I did not like any characters in the book and was completely unsatisfied with the ending. Cassandra French isn't an anti-chick heroine but a freaking nut case who deserves to be put away for life. She hears her freaking dead dad in her head and doesn't think it's weird at all. Come on! Cassandra ...more
Christina
Laugh out loud funny! The fact that this man created this woman and did so with such a wit is fantastic. Of course it makes you think about his past dating life a little bit, what has he experienced to create these boys and the need to fix them. I hope he's working on a sequel.
Jenn
One of the few books I put down before finishing. It had promise, but when I accidentally skipped ahead and saw a glimpse of the ending, I _hated_ it. I'm sorry I spent any time reading this- it was traded in to the used book shop.
Alistair
Cassandra French has endured years of dating hell and she's not putting up with it any longer. Her plan involves keeping suitable male candidates for reform locked in her basement to undergo a course of lessons in how to be a better men. Complications arise when she kidnaps Hollywood's current heart throb after a particularly icky dating experience. Throw in a mother electronically tagged and under house arrest; her 2 best friends - Claire, who's sleeping with her shrink, and Lexi, a blonde man- ...more
Joanne
Quite funny premise - they should make a movie! I enjoyed it til the end with laughs throughout.
Adrianne
really enjoyable and amusing. all men should go through this finishing school. :)
Lisa
This was a fun book, a little crazy with lots of offbeat humor.
Gospodyina
I was shelving donated books and this caught my eye--the hardcover dust jacket certainly did its job on that front. It ain't art, but it's a lot of fun. Strikingly amusing chick-lit written by a man. The one flaw is I can't really say anything to try to sell you on it, because anything beyond the official summary not only would give away too much of the story, it would ruin the rhythm of the book, which to me was the best part. I'd be reading along, doodly-doo, and then something would catch me ...more
Kara Jorges
This book was enough to give me ideas about locking Eric Garcia in my basement and chaining him to a word processor so he’ll write more books. A writer with his immense talent should surely have written more than five by now. I’m a huge fan of his Rex series, and I absolutely loved this book. Not too many men can write a female character this well, that alone earning him some respect. But the story was great, too.

Cassandra French is a lawyer in business affairs at a studio. Her best friend Clair
...more
Katy
Apr 05, 2014 Katy rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: folks who enjoy a twisted story and a good laugh
Please note: This review originally written and posted 9/11/07 on Amazon. I purchased this book for myself.

My Synopsis: Cassandra French - Cassie Bear to her mother - works as a counsel in business affairs in a movie studio in LA. Her best friends - Claire and Lexi - often go with her out on the town where they try to find the perfect boy for the evening. Oh, and by the way, Cassie has three young men chained up in her basement while she puts them through her Finishing School to be the perfect m
...more
Meagan
From the start all I kept thinking was "WTF?!?!", lol. While reading I also kept thinking how similar this is to "Dexter", minus the killing but adding the character of Cassandra French being a complete sociopath.

The premise of this book is the title character, Cassandra French (I don't think I could have come up with a better S&M mistress name) being fed up with men treat women (mostly herself) like dirt and sets about training men (or boys as she refers to them in the school) to be better
...more
heidi
Definitely not literature, but not chick-lit either (from the cover I assumed it was chick lit when I bought it at a sale for less than $5 and thought, What the heck, light reading!).

Surprised to find that the author is actually a man - he seems to understand the frustrations of the single woman too well! This book has a very funny premise: Cassandra, your typical alpha-type successful, beautiful woman but unlucky in love, gets frustrated with the dearth of 'quality' men in her dating scene. So
...more
Davida Chazan
Cassandra knows exactly how all women really want to be treated. But that may not be an advantage, if she and her friends can't find men who will treat them right. So she's figured out what men need to learn. That's why she "opened" her Finishing School for Boys.

The humor in this book is totally hysterical - really laugh-out-loud stuff. One could expect no less from a writer who has given us such twisted plots as Matchstick Men, and totally silly stuff (with plot twists) as his Rex detective se
...more
Victoria
I read this book for the first time when it first came out - back in 2004. I have to admit that re-reading it was not as much as fun as I remembered it being the first time around. I think largely it is because I knew what to expect - when I read it the first time, Cassandra’s actions were so shocking that it really added to the overall fun of the book.

Still, even as I recalled the plot’s twists and turns, I still did enjoy reading the book. It definitely has a cinematic quality to it that would
...more
Melissa
Funny satire about a woman who keeps men locked up in her basement to refine them. You have to "get" what the author is going for with this...
Erin
When I was given this book as a gift, I thought "Oh my God, there is nothing like picking up the cheapest book in the discount rack and assuming 'the reader' will be happy to see it. Nice. This person doesn't know me at all."

She does, however, know me. Despite my concerns (with the cover and the synopsis), I loved this book. It was amazingly funny and I found myself genuinely connecting to the main character who I had labeled as "completely crazy" before I even started reading it.

I will read th
...more
Denise
3.0 out of 5 stars Had some bad experiences on dates lately? Take a tip....., August 25, 2008

This review is from: Cassandra French's Finishing School for Boys: A Novel (Paperback)
I rated this 3.5 stars
This book was light and amusing and I enjoyed it - pretty far fetched and totally unrealistic so you can safely say it is total escapist chick lit with a twist. This is what happens when a smart woman gets a bad idea to take care of the conditions she faces when dating in our world today. It's all
...more
Roz
I read this one because of the title. Sometimes that's what grabs you, or maybe the cover can do that. Although I found myself laughing or chuckling at some line, in general I didn't like the characters and found the premise of the story unbeleivable. Keeping guys in your basement, in chains, for a year or more and nobody knows? They don't try to escape? And for the reasons she did it? You do read about things like that (the chaining, and locking away) in newspapers sometimes. But this was too u ...more
Crystaline
Another book I read for my stint at the used bookstore. Chick-lit is also not one of my preferred literary niches, but this story? I liked it enough that I read it twice.
It wasn't at all what I thought I was getting myself in for. This is a strangely comical story about a psychotic woman who kidnaps and brainwashes men. It's funny and a bit disturbing and obviously written by a man. And I thank him for so openly professing that sometimes girls can go a little overboard in their want to make men
...more
Stephanie Baker
I really didn't want to finish it, but I wanted to know how it all played out.
Meaghan
had some funny parts and characters but overall was just so ridiculous i couldnt get into it, even until the very end.
Pam
CASsANDRA FRENCH'S FINISHING SCHOOL FOR BOYS by Eric Garcia
RATING: 4/B
GENRE/PUB DATE/# OF PGS: Fiction/2004/295 pgs
TIME/PLACE: Early 2000's, Los Angeles, CA
CHARACTErS: Cassandra French/lawyer in the film industry
COMMENTS: Very amusing book. Cassandra is tired of all the bad dates & decides to kidnap one to train/mold into a man she deems datable & ideal.
AM
Best line...
"Is something going on?" I asked her.
"I'm not sure," she said. "But everybody seems so happy, I thought I'd join in." Screw Prozac. Peer pressure must be the new surefire cure for depression." p 44-45

Oh a review... Campy fun. Possible continuity error on page 107 thought I might have missed something laughing.
Michelle
ok, so not high on the intellectul to read list but very enoyable. Storyline a bit far fetchd, but no one suggested this wasn't fictio and I think it's a pretty original ide that IF someone were to actully act out, this would be how it woul play out. Took me less thn day to read..an enjoyable escape.
daysgoby
This was spectacularly awful - the best comparison I can make is if one of Sophie Kinsella's heroines (y'know, the Shopaholic series author) snapped and decided to start chaining people in her basement.

With lots of chat about lunches and 'do these boots make my ass look fat?'
Karen
Eh, it was alright. I mean subversive yes, but still sorta chick lit-ish. It was recommended to me by a guy at the Christopher Moore book signing as "oh so wicked." yeah. not so much.

But over all not a bad read, and funny enough.

I rate it a Meh+
Jennifer
Technically I didn't finish reading this one. The characters where unlikable, the series of events far fetched and without consequence for horrible actions. I just now realized a man wrote this... no wonder I found the female narrator so unrealistic.
Sera
Oct 22, 2008 Sera rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommended to Sera by: EW
Shelves: chick-lit
This book had a unique storyline regarding a woman who kidnaps men and teaches them how to be nice to women. Some of it is a little off, but kind of funny in a creepy sort of way. Even so, I was slightly disappointed by ending - too easy IMHO.
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Eric Garcia grew up in Miami, Florida, and attended Cornell University and the University of Southern California, where he majored in creative writing and film. He lives outside Los Angeles with his wife, daughter, and dachshund. He is also developing a series for the Sci Fi channel based on the Rex novels.
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