15th out of 20 books
—
17 voters
The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children
by
Wendy Mogel
Every parent hopes their child will be self-reliant, optimistic, and well mannered, a challenge in our current culture. Clinical psychologist and Jewish educator Wendy Mogel distills the ancient teachings of the Torah, the Talmud, important Jewish thinkers, and contemporary psychological insights into nine blessings that address key parenting issues such as:
* determining r
...morePaperback, 304 pages
Published
November 1st 2001
by Penguin Books
(first published August 22nd 2001)
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When Dr. Mogel, a clinical psychologist, decided - after marriage and two children - to embrace her religious heritage, one of the outcomes was this book. She impressively combines Jewish teachings with old school common sense and "progressive" values.
This is one of the best parenting books I've come across. Mogel places a lot of emphasis on the parent taking a look at their own behavior and correcting dysfunctional patterns, establishing order, being consistent, acting with authority and self-...more
This is one of the best parenting books I've come across. Mogel places a lot of emphasis on the parent taking a look at their own behavior and correcting dysfunctional patterns, establishing order, being consistent, acting with authority and self-...more
I enjoyed reading this book. Filled with seemingly common-sense guidance on raising children, I found myself noticing--more than normal--how children today don't behave (are bratty/insolent/fresh-mouthed, you get the idea) because they haven't been offered loving guidance as put forward in this book! Have you ever talked to a parent and they complain about their child's behavior and immediately follow it up with, "Well, what are you going to do?" I actually answer them by saying, "You could tell...more
Aug 16, 2008
Elizabeth McDonald
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
those who interact with children
Recommended to Elizabeth by:
my school
Shelves:
non-fiction,
teaching
This was required reading for my new job at a girls' school (which, incidentally, is not Jewish). Although I am neither Jewish nor a parent, I found this book very engrossing. I couldn't put it down, despite the fact that I was on vacation in the mountains at the time. (Well, all right, I could put it down... just not when I was, say, supposed to be going to sleep.)
The author, who practiced clinical child psychology for fifteen years, reevaluates modern child-rearing practice through the lens of...more
The author, who practiced clinical child psychology for fifteen years, reevaluates modern child-rearing practice through the lens of...more
This is perhaps the best parenting book I have read to date, and I have read several. The author writes from an explicitly Jewish perspective and primarily addresses Jewish parents, but, even as someone of a different faith (Christian), I found her advice and perspectives very helpful. The section about talking about God with your children addressed the same sorts of difficulties I experience as a Christian parent. I appreciated the philosophical outlook on parenting the author presented: the em...more
Jan 28, 2008
Shannon
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Parents, teachers, those who work with kids, religious professionals
Excellent book for parents, teachers, or anyone working with kids. Mogel discusses how indulged and unhappy today's kids are, and teaches us how children can be parented in a way that helps them to become more resilient and capable. Her goal is to help us produce children who grow into kind, responsible, ethical adults. Imagine that! She uses Jewish teachings as her foundation, and while I am Christian, I found that all of her wisdom had a universal relevance, and spoke to me in profound ways.
M...more
M...more
Among other things, this book brings up the point that parents today tend to want their kids to excel at everything. While I don't have grand designs for my kids and I'm generally very good at not getting sucked into keeping up with the Joneses--and their kids!--it hadn't dawned on me how the more subtle expectations of kids have changed since I was growing up. This book is great at putting certain aspects of child-rearing into perspective for today's parents--and you certainly don't have to be...more
While I often lose interest before completely a parenting book, this one held me to the last page. The author took some time away from her practice as a a child psychologist to immerse herself in the study of Judaism. So many of the Jewish lessons she learned informed her new perspective on parenting, one that helps foster emotionally balanced, self-reliant, responsible children. I found many of her parenting lesson affirming of my own parenting style and took away nuanced differences of approac...more
I was reading this book for a group (of young families) at my (Episcopal) church. About a third of the way through the book I just couldn't take it anymore.
While I don't necessarily disagree with her methods for raising self-reliant children---Dr. Sears' The Successful Child does a much better job than this does. And if you're looking for something focused on faith--Shalom for the Home--is excellent--and teaches much of the same stuff without annoying the hell out of you. You don't need Jewish...more
While I don't necessarily disagree with her methods for raising self-reliant children---Dr. Sears' The Successful Child does a much better job than this does. And if you're looking for something focused on faith--Shalom for the Home--is excellent--and teaches much of the same stuff without annoying the hell out of you. You don't need Jewish...more
This is one of the best parenting books I've ever read and I know I will re-visit it frequently. Mogel is a child psychologist who took a sabbatical from her practice to study judaism and train as a rabbi, and now she counsels families using a mixture of the two. The result is a common-sense philosophy that emphasizes the dignity of children and importance of helping them develop responsibility and the ability to deal with and overcome challenges. Nuggets of wisdom that I think about constantly:...more
The author, a psychologist who came to believe that the power of spiritual assurance and community had more of a healing power than therapy, explains how the Talmud can help parents raise children sensibly. She asserts that the three pillars of Jewish teaching – moderation, celebration, and sanctification – can be applied to areas such as chores, eating, self-control, and stress. She starts with the premise that children do not belong to their parents, but are a gift on loan from God, born to le...more
May 29, 2010
Jessica
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
parents
Shelves:
parenting,
jewish-interest
Mogel is a child psychologist who studied Judaism and applied it to her approach to parenting. Her basic premise is that children need limits and structure, and a place in both the family and wider community. She breaks her parenting advice into nine lessons and most, if not all, would apply to parents of many faiths and even of no faith in particular. Some of my favorite chapters: The Blessing of Self-Control, in which she discusses why your child's difficult traits are the key to his strengths...more
This book articulated many of my beliefs about parenting in an easy-to-read practical manner and the tie-ins to Jewish teachings was a fascinating aspect from someone not very familiar with that faith. As the cover states, it's more about raising a child to be a good person rather than raising a child to feel good. I see (and have been guilty of inadvertently causing in my own kids!) too much entitlement, whining, disrespecting parents, lack of responsibility and accountability, and punishments...more
Confession: Typically when I read informational, self-help-y non-fiction I tend to skim through because I get bored with the writing style or the information in general. This book was a total exception!
Once I started, I couldn't put it down. I loved both the author's approach to child raising AND Judaism. As a non-Jewish mother raising Jewish children, this was just the push I needed to be proactive in bringing religion into their lives. Admittedly, we have no traditions in our household yet (I...more
Once I started, I couldn't put it down. I loved both the author's approach to child raising AND Judaism. As a non-Jewish mother raising Jewish children, this was just the push I needed to be proactive in bringing religion into their lives. Admittedly, we have no traditions in our household yet (I...more
Dr. Mogel's ideas & observations were right on. This is one of the most practical, straight-forward parenting books I've read in a long time. She did a great job combining Jewosh theology with parenting philosophy & I was surprised how often my own perspectives meshed perfectly. I even laughed out loud as I read the section on chores. Dr. Mogel gave several examples of parents having a hard time with chores & I thought, "These people need more kids--those things aren't even considere...more
I admit to being a bit disappointed in this. I was expecting, well, more. Which, is ridiculous, because when I read parenting books, this is the feeling I am usually left with. I don't think I pulled out any new information, and I certainly did not pick up any helpful hints. However, I did choose to give this three stars rather than two, because it was a pleasant read. Mogel writes with an easy-going, un-preachy tone. And, everything she suggests is genuinely (I think) good parenting advice. She...more
The Blessing of a Skinned Knee is an interesting journey through Mogel's transformation away from child psychotherapist towards a Jewish-informed parent guide. The journey is filled with sweet anecdotes, both personal and professional, and lessons inspired by Jewish teachings and is a quick an easy read.
Mogel's enthusiasm for using Jewish principles and the gifts that being raised in a Jewish home can provide is evident. You can feel her enthusiasm infuse the book like the Shabbat candles she l...more
Mogel's enthusiasm for using Jewish principles and the gifts that being raised in a Jewish home can provide is evident. You can feel her enthusiasm infuse the book like the Shabbat candles she l...more
This book had some good stuff in it. Refreshing, straight-forward parenting advice like the kind I get from my parents. I liked the idea of parenting that is "good enough" -- "Consider that "good enough" can often be best for your child, because when life is mostly ordinary and just occasionally extraordinary, your child won't end up with expectations of herself and those around her that can't be met on this worldly plane."
I feel like I often run into children (especially in our neighborhood) w...more
I feel like I often run into children (especially in our neighborhood) w...more
Jun 19, 2010
Rachel Kopel
added it
I liked this book on two levels. I am always looking for books on functional parenting in an attempt to replace in my mind some of the ideas that were used by my parents. I enjoyed Mogel's approach and have added some of her ideas to my quiver. Especially that even though there are endless opportunities available to us (and to children) it is ok to not do everything even when it is good stuff. It is a good choice to take the time to experience and process one activity rather than sail through ma...more
There's nothing really new here--I think the precepts Mogel outlines are already 80% the way I was brought up and the way I am trying to bring up my own children. But it's still helpful to have it all codified and look at things like "because I'm your mother, and I said so" from a spiritual perspective.
I haven't read any parenting books in a long time (other than the Bible!), so that may have colored my perception of this book. I really enjoyed this woman's way of looking at parenting. It was interesting to hear about her own journey to faith. She has a refreshingly commonsense, traditional approach to child-rearing. I only wish she believed the Bible were true, rather than presenting it as "real or legendary and mythic". It was sad to read that women are primarily the ones trying to move thei...more
I did enjoy this one. I think I enjoyed bits and pieces more than the whole. Some examples:
Mogel describes parent patients from her clinical psychiatric practice who were "disappointed" when hearing that their children had no mental disorder because, unfortunately, no drug or treatment could be given to fix their normal kid.
The author quotes Rabbi Tarfon as saying, "It is not your responsibility to complete the work [of perfecting the world] but you are not free to desist from it either."
She als...more
Mogel describes parent patients from her clinical psychiatric practice who were "disappointed" when hearing that their children had no mental disorder because, unfortunately, no drug or treatment could be given to fix their normal kid.
The author quotes Rabbi Tarfon as saying, "It is not your responsibility to complete the work [of perfecting the world] but you are not free to desist from it either."
She als...more
Lots of excellent food for thought!! This book is not so much a parenting "tips" book as it is a call to change perspective. I love Dr. Mogel, I mean, anyone who refers to dog training and Rabbinical wisdom on the same page is going to be a good read... she addresses why 'democratic' parenting is not workable for children-- I think there are many books out there with this authoritative approach to parenting but for me this one was so much richer for its blending of Jewish teachings to provide a...more
This is a book that approaches the art of parenthood in a traditional manner with sound, doable advice. With the speed of our lives reeving up by the second, it is important to help our kids be resilient, self-reliant, responsible, polite, respectful, and yet to allow them the freedom they need to develop into the adults that they will someday become—Mogel advises parents on how to do so with in your own familial structure regardless of your religion. While I can't yet apply every piece of advic...more
Best book on parenting I have ever read. Really fantastic, sensible, and sane advice. As a parent who struggles with fostering responsibility when there are housekeepers, teachers, babysitters, and every other type of help available, this book actually had some excellent ideas of how and why to implement chores, discipline (in a rational way), and independence. Mogel starts with accepting a child's basic nature and saying that if you have identified his worst trait you then you have identified h...more
This book easily goes up toward top of the list of books I would encourage all parents to read. Some may be turned off by the religious tone to the book. I'm not Jewish (I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith). Mogel gets her message of parenting across in the lens of Jewish tradition, but doesn't shove it down the reader's throat. I appreciated that she emphasized it as a perspective of the way she chose to parent, and doesn't lecture how Judaism is the best, but it was the best for her (and...more
The Blessing of a Skinned Knee offers wonderful parenting advice...how to accept your "unique and ordinary child" while providing the emotional and spirtual guidance they need. It was recommended by the principal of my daughters' Catholic school and I was slightly surprised at the subtitle," Using Jewish Teaching to Raise Self-Reliant Children," when I picked it up at the library. I found the Judaic principals applicable but felt that the same book and advice could have been used using Catholic/...more
I have a list of people whom I would love to buy this book for - not that I think they need help with their parenting skills (well, some of them do), but actually the opposite. I found that Mogel's perspectives mirror those of role-model parents whom I admire - and they come from various countries, socio-economic backgrounds, etc. I have taken to reading parts of this book aloud to my husband. Her references to Jewish teachings are numerous, but they are not dogmatic; it is fascinating to see ho...more
I saw Wendy Mogel speak at my son's school. She's very charming and funny. Puts the bad moments (or years) of parenting into perspective. The book was a little more about the laws of Judaism than I cared for, but I did like the aspects of ritual and agree it's important to raise children to ultimately be responsible and good citizens. That means going through a bit of turmoil while helping your kids become responsible for taking care of themselves and contributing to the family. Overall, gives y...more
This is a great parenting book, with the underlying message that each child is unique and parents must work to understand what sets their children apart and then capitalize upon that thing. A point the author makes that really resonated with me is that childhood is the only time when expectations are that you'll be good at everything -- as an adult, it is accepted that you have unique skills and there are some things you are not good at. We ask our children to do well in all subjects at school,...more
A great parenting book full of common sense advice that we don’t hear much of these days. The author is a child psychologist who left her practice to address parenting and child-rearing issues from a preventive point of view instead of just dealing with clinical problems in the office. Her basic premise is that we as parents often try so hard to “protect” our children from the various hurts and problems of life, but in so doing we actually hurt them more than if we let them handle those problems...more
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
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| Best Parenting Books | 1 | 5 | Jan 29, 2012 10:53am | |
| parentig | 1 | 4 | Jul 02, 2007 11:47am |
Wendy Mogel, PhD is the author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children published by Charles Scribner's Sons in 2001. Mogel is a nationally known speaker and author who looks at every day parenting problems through the lens of the Torah, the Talmud, and important Jewish teachings.
Mogel graduated from Middlebury College and completed an Internship and...more
More about Wendy Mogel...
Mogel graduated from Middlebury College and completed an Internship and...more
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“The sages advise us to study Torah lishma-"for its own sake" rather than to impress others with our scholarship. A paradox of parenting is that if we love our children for their own sake rather than for their achievements, it's more likely that they will reach their true potential.”
—
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