The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night

by Elizabeth Pantley, William Sears

book data

781 ratings, 3.51 average rating, 223 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		16%
4		37%
3		30%
2		12%
1		3%

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published

March 28th 2002 by McGraw-Hill

binding

Paperback, 208 pages

isbn

0071381392 (isbn13: 9780071381390)

description

A breakthrough approach that offers hope to exhausted parents looking for gentle ways to help their baby sleep without the heart-wrenching tears. Unti...more

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04/06/07

Lynne rated it:

Read in December, 2006

recommends it for: People who are really attachment oriented

OK, so here's the deal with The No Cry Sleep Solution.

I got this book because I really did not want to let my baby cry it out. I was pretty much attachment parenting from the time my baby was born until, oh, about 3 days after reading this book!

I did get a few good tidbits from the book, which is why it was not a "1."

First, having a really good bedtime routine is essential.
Second, Pantley's "gentle removal method" for stopping your b...more

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08/28/08

Denise rated it:

I read this book in conjunction with Ferber's Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems, just to get a range of perspective. I definitely liked the approach in this book better than Ferber's: it's based in attachment parenting principles, focuses first on whether the parent themselves sees a problem or just feels pressured to have a child that "sleeps through the night", and emphasizes that the process of getting a frequently waking child to sleep in longer chunks can be a long one that req...more

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07/25/08

Neligh rated it:

bookshelves: baby

recommends it for: people about to have a baby

Not having kids yet, I read this book for two things: to get a realistic idea of what I can expect 'normal' infant sleep to be like and to hopefully hit the ground with a few tricks already in the bag.

Excerpts I found especially interesting:

"Babies make many sleeping sounds, from grunts to whimpers to outright cries [even shouting "mom!" when they're older:], and these noises don't always signal awakening. These are what I call sleeping noises, and your ba...more Not having kids yet, I read this book for two things: to get a realistic idea of what I can expect 'normal' infant sleep to be like and to hopefully hit the ground with a few tricks already in the bag.

Excerpts I found especially interesting:

"Babies make many sleeping sounds, from grunts to whimpers to outright cries [even shouting "mom!" when they're older:], and these noises don't always signal awakening. These are what I call sleeping noises, and your baby is nearly or even totally asleep during these episodes. These are not the cries that mean, "Mommy, I need you!" They are just sleeping sounds. ... In [your:] desire to respond to [your:] baby's every cry, [you may:] actually [teach:] her to wake up more often." p.76

"Many people put their babies to bed much too late, often hoping that if baby is 'really tired' he will sleep better. This often backfires because baby becomes overtired and chronically sleep-deprived. ... A baby's biological clock is preset for an early bedtime. When parents work with that time, a baby falls asleep more easily and stays asleep more peacefully. Most babies are primed to go to sleep for the night as early as 6:30 or 7:00pm. ... plan for it by beginning your prebed routine an hour before. ... For babies, early to bed does not mean early to rise. Most babies sleep better and longer with an earlier bedtime. ... Many [parents:] were truly surprised to find that an earlier bedtime really did help their baby fall asleep easier and faster and often encouraged better sleep and a later waking time."p.103-104

"During the night, we move through a sleep cycle, riding it up and down like a wave. We cycle through light sleep to deep sleep to dreaming all through the night. In between these stages, we briefly come to the surface, without awakening fully. We may fluff a pillow, straighten blankets, or roll over, but generally we fade right back into sleep with nary a memory of the episode. ... Babies move through the same sleep cycles as adults do, but their cycles are shorter and more numerous. Babies also spend much more time in light sleep [dream sleep or REM:] than adults do, and they have many more of those in-between stages of brief awakenings." p.41-44 A "mother's best long-term sleep enhancer is to learn how to pretend to be asleep while listening to baby's sounds. And to wait. Your baby just may fall back to sleep without your help. If she needs to breastfeed, you'll know that soon enough." p.78

There are many more bits explored in the book. Sleep associations, for example, are discussed and how to form the ones you want and avoid the ones you don't. Biological clocks' development are explained by age with tips on how to help them along, such as keeping it dim or dark at night, exposing the baby to natural light in the morning, and developing a routine. Avoiding activity that might wake baby up all the way includes not just leaving lights off and avoiding play, but also skipping diaper changes that aren't absolutely necessary (just be sure to start off the night w/plenty of ointment to avoid rashes). Also discussed is how getting a baby to 'sleep through the night' is an ongoing task: just when it's all sorted out, along comes a new tooth, illness, growth spurt, or milestone to throw it out of whack again. A growth spurt brings back the night feeding for a little while. A milestone interferes with sleep in all kinds of ways: if a baby is learning to stand, for example, he may pull himself to a stand with the crib railing and not be able to figure out how to sit down again; he may roll over onto his stomach and be ticked off about it and need help getting onto his back. Or his mind, eager to devour everything in sight, may be too distracted to nurse quietly during the day and he will try to make up for this by nursing at night.
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06/10/08

Lisa rated it:

Read in July, 2008

recommended to Lisa by: Friends from an online group I belong to
recommends it for: Parents of newborns

I liked this book and found it to be helpful. That said, my baby did not have major sleep issues when I started it, nor was he an older baby (he was about 5 months). We were also instinctively using some of the book's recommendations already, so that made implementing it much easier.

We're not interested in letting our baby cry it out and this book helped us feel supported in that stance. It's true that many of the suggestions are commonsense, but we found this book helped to "ti...more

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02/01/08

Cailean rated it:

Read in January, 2006

Well, if you know us, you know that when we have babies we more or less practice "attachment parenting," which we didn't even know existed until we were already doing it. It just felt natural to have our babies co-sleep, to not use a bottle or pacifier, etc. Little did we realize that I would become the "human pacifier" and that our oldest would have a very hard time weaning herself out of our bed. Fortunately we learned how to not begin that issue with our next two, but it s...more

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01/26/08

Stephanie rated it:

Read in February, 2008

recommends it for: moms of older children with behavioral sleep issues

While this book claims to be the third option for sleep-deprived parents (1 being: "cry-it-out," and 2 being "live with it"), I found that it was more like "live with it," with a couple of helpful pointers to make you feel like you are doing something. Or perhaps it works as the preparation phase before going on to the Ferber method.

First of all, like most self-help books, it could have been about 10 pages. I read over half of it before I got to her ...more While this book claims to be the third option for sleep-deprived parents (1 being: "cry-it-out," and 2 being "live with it"), I found that it was more like "live with it," with a couple of helpful pointers to make you feel like you are doing something. Or perhaps it works as the preparation phase before going on to the Ferber method.

First of all, like most self-help books, it could have been about 10 pages. I read over half of it before I got to her actual methodology. The first half is dedicated to just plain sleeping facts about babies -- virtually nothing I had not heard before. Then, her 6 phase process is explained in about 3 pages which is followed by a couple chapters of encouragement. There is also workbook like sheets to be filled in as you document your progress.

The advice is pretty basic: create a bedtime routine (perhaps with a bath, bedtime music, reading stories, a "lovey", key sleep words, etc.) and then gradually put baby to sleep when baby is more and more awake so that baby will learn to fall asleep without you and gradually decreasing your degree of hands-on comfort during nighttime wake-ups. This really didn't work with me because my daughter would often go to bed completely awake, and it did not change how many times she woke up in the night or how well she responded to my comforting her in any way other than nursing her back to sleep.

I think this book is primarily directed towards moms of older children with behavioral sleep issues, rather than actually teaching a young infant (mine is 4 1/2 months) how to sleep better. There is no way a little baby is going to respond to "verbal soothing" in the middle of the night. The author is a proponent of co-sleeping, and breastfeeds her 18-month old. So I think her approach is accurately described as: "live with it" until it's ridiculous and your child can completely understand that he/she needs to stay asleep all night (i.e. at least 1 year old), and then incorporate this method.

No good for me.

I think you can get the same good advice without having to wade through pages and pages of fluff.(less)

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06/15/09

Philitsa rated it:

Read in June, 2008

I read this book a bit before my first daughter was born and just after, and I learned a lot. I was quite proud of myself at the time. I had a well-adjusted infant who had a set sleep and wake-up time. Sure, she would wake up in the middle of the night for feedings, but those were also on a schedule. And I justified those away by reminding myself that she was very low on the weight percentile scale. If she wanted to eat, she would eat!

Fast forward to almost a year later, and I'm d...more

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01/30/08

Natalie rated it:

bookshelves: parenting

Read in September, 2006

recommends it for: all parents

This is one of my favorite books on infant sleep. I really appreciated the tone of this book. The author offers many helpful suggestions for helping babies sleep depending on your parenting style and your babies temperament. So many other sleep books I've read try to tell you that their way is the only way and you must be doing something wrong if it isn't working for your child. It was refreshing to read something that gave ideas without the guilt trip.

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03/10/09

Kristen-Marie Freeman rated it:

Read in January, 2009

I rated this one low because I don't believe that there were many practical, workable suggestions here. However, there were a few, and the writing style and organization are *much* better than Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

(Addition on 3-15-09). I've re-skimmed the book to see if there were any gems to share with my husband, and I'm not finding much, especially for children under 5 months old. Her advice for these babies generally consists of, "When your baby doesn't sett...more

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06/24/08

Lukeandbethw rated it:

This had some helpful tips, but for both my children I just followed my instincts, nursed them both on demand for as long as needed and they eventually fell into good sleeping habits!

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01/17/09

Allison rated it:

Read in January, 2009

A re-read
Good info on baby sleep needs and what you should reasonable expect as a parent. The book is genius at explaining how to teach your baby to get to sleep on his own without having to make him cry until he passes out.
I like how the book presents info and ideas and lets you as
the assumed intelligent adult make the right specific decisions for your family. So many "sleep" books tend towards the "do it our way or else your child will be sleepy and bratty"...more

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01/12/09

fbuser529000555 rated it:

Read in January, 2009

recommends it for: all parents

I really liked this book although it didn't tell me any breakthrough advice, just reinforced a lot of things I already knew. I like using the logs because it gives me an idea of how Tristan is sleeping and what might be affecting his sleep. I can see how it would be really useful for parents whose babies have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Fortunately for me Tristan's sleep habits are pretty good, but there's always room for improvement which is why I read the book. The idea...more

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01/18/09

Academama rated it:

Read in January, 2009

This is my favorite sleep book for babies. (The toddler one is my favorite for toddlers, too.) It's the best compromise I've found between "let your baby cry it out" and "if your baby is awake, you just have to suck it up." It fits in well with an attachment parenting philosophy (even to the degree that she gives suggestions and tips for better sleep while cosleeping and breastfeeding) and has a lot of concrete ideas to use.

I'll let you know whether it revolution...more

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01/21/09

Kristyn rated it:

bookshelves: 2009, baby

Read in January, 2009

recommended to Kristyn by: our pediatrician

I guess I thought this book would be more about how to get babies asleep in the first place, in a peaceful manner. It's geared more towards parents whose babies are waking up often during the night- - which (very luckily) we haven't had issues with yet. I chose it because our pediatrician gave us an excerpt from the book how about how babies slept longer if you put them to bed earlier. I tried that, and it didn't work, but the idea made me curious about what else was in the book. The theme of th...more

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08/02/07

Darcy rated it:

Read in July, 2007

recommends it for: new or tired parents

Flexible, practical, and truly gentle alternative to the cry-it-out school of thought. Empowering.

Like this review? yes (1 person liked it)

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02/17/09

Tannie rated it:

I've been reading several sleep books in the last 4 months. This is the second one I've tried. I didn't like Babywise (it was too gung-ho and "let them cry it out" even at 2 months) and I didn't like this book because it was WAY focused on attachment parenting and encouraged not even letting your baby cry AT ALL for sleep. I've been reading another book that seems to be the perfect marriage of the chaos in NO CRY Sleep and the rigitidy in Babywise. I like it (Baby Whisperer), but s...more

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06/10/09

Ruth rated it:

I've read a lot of books about getting babies to sleep through the night, and this is definitely my favorite. Her basic premise is that she wanted to come up with a third option for parents who are not willing to let their child "cry it out" but also not able to continue waking every hour or two all night long. Everything else I've read basically boiled down to one of those two options (except for Babywise, which is possibly worse). Lots of innovative ideas that are presented in a very...more

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06/15/09

Cary rated it:

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in February, 2009

What I learned from this book is that I disagree with the concept that all crying is inherently bad. The premise that I am a bad mother if I "ignore" my baby's "cries for help" isn't helpful.

I tend to believe that the only way to have a no-cry sleep solution is to co-sleep for ever. Our baby was very, very happy to sleep with us. And I think he would have enjoyed never having to have his own bed. But as the mama, it was extremely important to me to be well rested...more

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06/01/09

Kimberly rated it:

Read in May, 2009

This book is so helpful. I've checked it out from the library several times over the years that I've been a parent and it just has so many helpful suggestions and gives a poor sleepless mother some hope that things can get better without neglecting my child's emotional needs. I haven't gotten my baby to sleep through the night yet but at least I have more ideas and more encouragement. Even though it is rather less scientific, I probably recommend this sleep book to friends more than any other I ...more

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12/18/08

Sera rated it:

bookshelves: favorites, non-fiction, parenting

Read in December, 2008

recommended to Sera by: Amazon.com

This book was extremely informative, because it provided great insight into sleep rhythms and other information that affects how well someone sleeps at night. My goal is to begin using the tips for newborns as soon as the baby comes home from the hospital. Let's see if the author's approach will work. Most of her tips make sense so I am feeling optimistic. Plus, I like to have a third option instead of picking between "suck it up" or "let the baby cry it out", since someo...more

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