You Can't Get There from Here: A Year on the Fringes of a Shrinking World

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You Can't Get There from Here: A Year on the Fringes of a Shrinking World

3.48 of 5 stars 3.48 · rating details · 178 ratings · 49 reviews

In these eight interconnected travel stories, journalist Gayle Forman traces the trajectory from her relatively comfortable life in New York's Hell's Kitchen to her sometimes extreme--and extremely personal--experiences in some of the most exotic spots on earth

In this extraordinary memoir--now issued in paperback--Gayle Forman takes us with her to the mountain hideaways o

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Paperback, 336 pages

Published November 14th 2006 by Rodale Books (first published 2005)

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Jun 15, 2012 Colleen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of people taking a year off (of work, bad relationships, life, whatever), traveling the world, and then writing a book about it. Are you truly traveling the world to experience other cultures, or are you traveling the world with an agenda--namely finding some adventures so you can write a book about them? And why is it that they always take a year off? How about 2 weeks...or 3 years? Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I will state that I really liked...more Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of people taking a year off (of work, bad relationships, life, whatever), traveling the world, and then writing a book about it. Are you truly traveling the world to experience other cultures, or are you traveling the world with an agenda--namely finding some adventures so you can write a book about them? And why is it that they always take a year off? How about 2 weeks...or 3 years? Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I will state that I really liked this book. This was everything Paris, I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down, was not--both funny and cohesive (yes, you really can have both!). Forman throws herself into her travels, seeking out the weird wherever she goes and somehow, charming (or bulldozing) her way into their confidence. There were times when I thought, This can't be real; she's making it up. But, there are pictures to prove it! Alas, they are not in the book, which I think was a big mistake, they're on her web site. Instead of giving us a broad, boring overview of each country she visits, Forman chooses one story from each place and tells the hell out of it. In Tonga, she schmoozes her way into a colony of fakaleiti, transvestites who are accepted in society because people pretend not to know that they're men dressing as women (and having beauty contests, to boot!). In Kazakhstan, she befriends a group of Tolkien fanatics who hide in the mountains, acting out Lord of the Rings. In Tanzania, she's a roadie for Profesa J and other hip-hop artists as they travel around performing--one of the few times where it seemed she was truly in danger (I would have taken the first plane home, but not Forman). In India, she is cast in a Bollywood movie and spends a few weeks prancing around the set in an electric blue gown. (Hey all you aspiring actresses--Bollywood producers LOVE white westerners!) There are many more of these stories--and not all are goofy; some are quite sad. But all are fascinating. Forman travels the way I'd love to travel but don't have the courage to. I would love for her to give me lessons in how to get people, worldwide, to let me hang out with them. (less)

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Oct 12, 2011 Kristin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Every writer of something vaguely autobiographical commits a crime of dishonesty: consciously or not, they portray themselves as without fault. Errors in judgment, mean-spirited remarks, events that reveal some character flaw -- all are rationalized or revised away entirely. It's hard to relate your actions to someone else, or to even recall them yourself, without rationalizing them. Over time, a snarky snap at someone becomes okay -- they were asking for it, or I was tired. One way or another,...more

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Jul 03, 2011 Ruth rated it 4 of 5 stars

Gayle Foreman found some really interesting cultural phenomena to explore in this travel book about her and her husband's trip around the world, and she is right, she does seem to have a talent for getting people to talk to her and getting inside these communities. The third-gendered people in Tonga are my favorites (oh! and this story was also the most complex- it sounds so awesome that the fakaleiti are tolerated by the otherwise conservative Tongan society, but as we get to know them we see t...more

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Jan 17, 2011 Em rated it 4 of 5 stars

It's hard to set aside the critical when reading travel stories, but this one just kept me going. The author is a great writer (YA and journalist) and she's focused on the outcasts and "others" within cultures in countries off the beaten travel path around the world--a unique "third sex" in Tonga, street kids in Cambodian villages, 'Tolkienists' who find refuge in role playing societies in Kazakhstan, Hip Hop musicians in Zanzibar, prostitutes in Holland. She travels most of the time with her hu...more

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Sep 25, 2010 Amelmag rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

Here's a reflection I wrote on this book when I actually read it, during a freshman class on autobiographical writing:

I really enjoyed Gayle Forman’s book, You Can’t Get There from Here. A travel book, its theme is similar to Without Reservations, and yet Forman succeeds in ways that Steinbach does not. Why is this?

I think there are several elements that grant Forman her success, and help to captivate us as readers. For instance, she is not as introspective as Steinbach. While this is not nece...more Here's a reflection I wrote on this book when I actually read it, during a freshman class on autobiographical writing:

I really enjoyed Gayle Forman’s book, You Can’t Get There from Here. A travel book, its theme is similar to Without Reservations, and yet Forman succeeds in ways that Steinbach does not. Why is this?

I think there are several elements that grant Forman her success, and help to captivate us as readers. For instance, she is not as introspective as Steinbach. While this is not necessarily a positive or a negative, I think it works well in Forman’s case. Steinbach left us feeling preached at, and a bit bored. Internal conflict, experienced while traveling the world, is not necessarily enough to keep an audience captivated for several hundred pages. To escape this problem, Forman is outwardly focused, addressing her personal problems briefly and with irregularity.

The exception to this is Forman’s focus on her marriage, and the trip’s affect on her and her husband’s relationship. This is one portion of the book that I find incomplete, and redundant. She explains the stress, she shares her whining, she demonstrates her marriage undergoing strain . . . and then nothing. We’re never really given a conclusion. We never see her move through the fighting into a new appreciation of her husband, or a new understanding of herself. Not really. There are small reconciliations, but nothing final. We are given conflict, but no resolution.

But for the most part, this does not happen. Forman organizes her book brilliantly, giving a theme to each chapter, dealing with that theme in full, and then moving on. Each chapter is both complete and unique, offering us something new (no redundancy here) and keeping us interested. She includes only the details that address the specific theme, letting nothing irrelevant slip in and distract. Her stories are fascinating and unusual, and yet very human—very human, because they deal with people. There is conflict and resolution, epiphanies and flashbacks, but all of it is very structured, and very concrete. She deals with abstract concepts, but through physical interaction, not vague theorizing. Her themes hold her to the point, and give her stories consistency and relevance. As a transition tool, taking us from one story, and theme, to the next, she uses short chapters to skim the in-between portions of the trip, freeing us from the mundane experience of day-to-day life.

Even with these transition chapters, however, her book would still be disjointed if not for the overarching theme of globalization. This is what holds her book together, and, ultimately, gives her wacky stories significance and structure. Globalization may seem like a heavy topic, and a bit of a stretch, for an autobiography, and yet Forman’s journalistic experience make this a logical choice. Of course, this might alienate readers with no particular interest in the topic of globalization, but her stories are engaging nonetheless, and, in a globalizing world, the topic is extremely relevant. I personally loved this aspect of her book, and found her insights to be meaningful and thought provoking.

One critique might be that, while globalization receives an adequate conclusion, her life does not. Perhaps this is an instance of her being too outwardly focused; we want more insight into the trip’s effect on her personally, but we are not given it. She returns home, but what did she learn, how did she change? These events are now a part of who she is, but who is she? Who is the new Gayle Forman, and how is she different than the woman who left home a year before? We are never really told.(less)

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Mar 05, 2009 Michelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

The first few chapters are the best, but I really enjoyed the whole thing. It's written by a journalist whose husband convinces her to take a year off with him and travel around the world. Along the way, the author looks for interesting subcultures to explore and write about. The first chapter, about the fakaleiti of Tonga, is not to be missed. The fakaleiti are born male, but make the decision to dress as women when they reach maturity, and for generations have been considered a third gender in...more

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Jan 12, 2011 Erin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: travel

Author Gayle Forman took a trip around the world in 2002, traveling to mostly off-the-beaten path destinations. In this book, she recalls the people she befriended along the way. That these people are deeply unusual (men in a gay subculture in Tonga, African Jews, Tolkien re-enactors in Kazakhstan, etc.) only makes her adventure more interesting.

While Gayle has a wonderful time ingratiating herself with these various groups, back at the hotel, her marriage is falling apart. The growing tension...more

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Feb 01, 2009 kot rated it 4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book--I found it an easy and accessible read, and it did a fantastic job of stimulating my wanderlust without kicking it into overdrive. Let me explain: Forman's travel experiences were honest and self-examining, which made the book less about "ha ha, I get to go great places and you don't," and more about humans relating to each other from all corners of the map. I'll be honest here. I hate it when books kick my wanderlust into overdrive, because I end up feeling agitated and wor...more

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Nov 21, 2008 Nick rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book gets 4.25 stars to be exact. I liked Eat, Love, Pray more, but only because ELP was better written. You Can't Get There from Here is super interesting - in certain parts. This is another travel book about a husband and wife traveling for a year around the globe in seach of the "fringe" societies. I loved the part about the fakaleiti of Tonga (men that have sex with other men, but aren't gay) and the red light district of Amsterdam (prostitutes love doing their work).

I think this book...more

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Feb 03, 2012 Austin Outhavong rated it 5 of 5 stars

Places I would never think to go, people I would never expect to meet...

This woman really has a unique take on travel. It's fresh, human, and exciting to read about.

There were definitely challenges she faced on her trip that I had found myself facing before. And she finds ways to respond that are really mature and positive. I hope reading her book has made me a better traveler.

I'm sure she was prepared to live and tell the story of the people she met. I'm guessing she wasn't prepared to tell the...more

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Dec 25, 2011 Julianne rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I enjoy travel lit immensely, especially by those with humor who are willing to let the reader in. Forman does this well and picks wide-ranging, interesting cultural sites that aren't well known to explore and share about. I love the new information on subcultures and the eccentric characters she draws in along her journey. I found her passages on globalization mediocre but luckily she mainly uses them just to provide cohesion and continuity along the way. Definitely a fun and interesting read....more

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Apr 28, 2013 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

I won't lie: I was hating on this book for the first chapter or two. It was the way Ms. Forman wrote that threw me off: seemingly self-important, "ain't I cool, writing this one-year travelogue?" My expectations were for something different, though I can't put my finger on what exactly. Yet, I pressed on and found it actually quite fascinating. Forman took a tack that I had yet to experience: historical and sub-cultural aspects of areas not typically explored by the common tourist. She doesn't f...more

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Apr 28, 2008 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: travel

In the introduction to this book, Gayle Forman admits that she's a Weird Girl. She says, "...I am a member of the tribe of the odd. Have been since, as a little girl, I came to realize that I was not like an Amy or a Jenny...As such, I spent a lot of time by myself, daydreaming, bug-hunting, thrift-shopping for Snoopy skirts, dyeing my hair unnatural colors, and doing interpretive dances to the Velvet Underground at my elementary school's talent shows... Naturally, I became the picked-on person,...more In the introduction to this book, Gayle Forman admits that she's a Weird Girl. She says, "...I am a member of the tribe of the odd. Have been since, as a little girl, I came to realize that I was not like an Amy or a Jenny...As such, I spent a lot of time by myself, daydreaming, bug-hunting, thrift-shopping for Snoopy skirts, dyeing my hair unnatural colors, and doing interpretive dances to the Velvet Underground at my elementary school's talent shows... Naturally, I became the picked-on person, which was just as well because the alternative was to be a picker-onner and I didn't have the stomach for that." Pay attention when she says that, because her approach to travel is nothing like anyone else's. She focuses on and opens her mind to the odd people - the ones who don't fit in, like Tonga's "third sex," the fakaleiti, and the South African "lost tribe" of Jews. She hangs out with Kazakhistanis who gather together in a national forest for a chance to re-enact The Lord of the Rings and camp out for the night. She becomes part of the ever-changing rotation of Bollywood extras. Her travel style is to stay in one place long enough to integrate with the oddest locals, making friends. She says in the book that she thinks that gives her more valid things to say about the culture, and she's right.

The framework for the book is the idea of globalization. From the little girl selling trinkets in several languages outside Angkor Wat to the impending death of the traditional Red Light district in Amsterdam, every stop Forman makes in her world tour reveals something about the impact - both good and bad - of a world that is leaking culture at its seams.

The arrangement of the book is complex: the author and her husband traveled both together and apart. They frequently set off on side journeys, reuniting briefly before parting again. The changing nature of their relationship forms nine mini-chapters in between the main chapters, which are based on locations and cultures. She also uses these sections to gloss over inconsequential travel details (because, let's face it, you really don't want more detail than, "... the 41-hour train ride..."). This allows for more dedication to detail in the sections on, let's say, the rap scene in Zanzibar.

I love travel almost as much as Forman does, but I find her revelations about the spread of the miasma that is American culture deeply disturbing. There is a well-voiced agreement among flag-wavers that democracy is good, capitalism is better, and if you're a Christian, you won't just be happy here, you're ensured eternal perfection, as well. What about the Kazakhs, who are caught between democracy and communism? The fall of Russia has created a nation steeped in confusion, with Western-style democracy available, but with the leftover KGB on the streets to punish those who celebrate the offered freedoms. What about the Cambodians who can't make a living on their farms, so move to the city to beg? That's a direct result of capitalism. And what about the Lemba, who have been genetically shown to have direct connection to the Jews of Israel? Most of them practice a mix of Judaism, Christianity, and traditional African religions. All of this goes to say that traditional American black-and-white ideas about practically everything are not only faulty, but sometimes formed of willful ignorance. So it's not the spread of cultures as reflected in this book that I object to, it's the spread of American culture.

You Can't Get There From Here is a funny book, a thoughtful book, and well worth reading.(less)

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Jul 29, 2011 Bronwyn rated it 4 of 5 stars

I picked up this book not knowing anything about it and was very pleasantly surprised. It started as a travel book but also became intensely personal as the trip progressed. Forman really does have the ability to connect with others leading to genuine and interesting interactions, connecting you to not only the place but also the people and culture. What i never understood is why is it the husbands "fault" they are on the trip. finding out it is a memoir makes sense.

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Jan 11, 2008 Osho rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2007

Socioeconomically, this travelogue is about midway between Frances Mayes's Under the Tuscan Sun and Rita Golden Gelman's Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World. It's interesting enough as a travel narrative, though as when I read Mayes, I become more interested in how the authors financed their trips than in the trips themselves. The lack of discussion about money becomes an elephant in the room and intrudes on my engagement with the narrative. Forman foregrounds her marital tensi...more

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Aug 21, 2011 Kinga rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Gayle Forman and her husband take a year off to travel around the world, visiting some off-the-beaten track places. Throughout the year, Gayle interacts with locals and seeks them out actively, in a way that most tourists don't. Under the strain of travelling, her and her husband's relationship begins to suffer.

It's a very well-researched book and enjoyable to read. Ms Forman introduces us to aspects of tourism not many of us would undertake, mainly because most of us don't have months to spend...more

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Jan 19, 2010 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars

Chronicles a year spent traveling to hard-to-reach international destinations... Interesting to read because the author focuses on a unique societal element at each location such as sexuality, language, poverty, and even Bollywood. I think my next trip needs to be to Zanzibar for the East Coast hip-hop scene...

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Nov 07, 2011 Julie Lunn rated it 3 of 5 stars

I liked this book because I've been feeling so homebound with two little tykes and it was a fun glimpse into the travel that I miss. I didn't really care for the author's occasional whining and the subplot of all her issues with her husband. And while some of the stories she selected for different regions were really interesting, others were ho-hum. I'd recommend it if you're seeking a quick read to fulfill a travel urge or if you don't mind skipping over some of the boring locations, but it's n...more

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Feb 21, 2009 Preethi Mohan rated it 2 of 5 stars

I didnt like this book much. The only part I liked was the part about the Fakaleiti's is Tonga. Many pieces of the book are extremely detailed to the extent that it gets boring while in other pieces she leaves out weeks or months of her travel. I liked Eat,Pray, Love a lot better.

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Jan 24, 2010 Patty rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2010, adventure, autobiography, family, relationships, non-fiction, women-writers, memoir, voyages-around-the-world

This was fun. Nothing earth-shattering or changing, but lots of fun to read. I never had any interest in doing this kind of traveling, (a little more comfort, please) but that is why I enjoy this kind of travelogue.

Forman visits Tonga, China, Cambodia and other places. There were times that I felt like I had read the book before - the Lemda, the African hip-hop and even the prostitutes in the Netherlands. However, enough seemed new that I don't think I had read this before.

I was led to this book...more

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Aug 08, 2011 Malika rated it 2 of 5 stars

I actualy agree with the "facebook user" review from 10 months earlier. Yes, Forman seems to have a lilt of "ain't I cool?" to her writing. But, the way she actually observed the world cultures with an open ear, is truly wonderful.

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May 22, 2012 Kathryn Jennex rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

A good solid read. not just a travel book but an honest conversation about "geopolitics", cultural curiosities and relationships while travelling. Great suggestion for the summer reading list.

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Jun 14, 2010 Patricia Sanders rated it 4 of 5 stars

Ms. Forman meets lots of unsual people in her year of travels. This delves deeper into places than your typical travel essay.

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Apr 04, 2011 Sara rated it 3 of 5 stars

First few chapters were pretty good, but then I got tired of her bringing her marital problems into the story about halfway through...

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Sep 25, 2010 Tiffanie Z. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Another cool travel book sharing accounts of travel adventures to different countries and cultures around the world.

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Jul 17, 2009 Jennie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Interesting even if you only read the chapter about role-playing Lord of the Rings fans in Kazakhstan (who knew?)

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Apr 22, 2013 Francie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Who knew that my current favorite YA author had written an off-the-beaten path travel book?! Great find!!!!

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Feb 14, 2012 Frank Roberts rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Enjoyable travelogue. The quirky author seeks out the quirky fringes of society, from Tonga to Tanzania.

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Jun 04, 2009 Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, travel

Didn't finish before I had to return to the library. I got a little tired of the author's personal drama with her spouse.

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Mar 30, 2010 Valerie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: africa, arewethereyet

I would love to travel with this woman. I don't think anymore needs to be said.

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About Gayle Forman

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a journalist who specialized in reporting on young people and social-justice issues. Which is a fancy way of saying I reported on all the ways that young people get treated like crap—and overcome! I started out working for Seventeen magazine, writing the kinds of articles that people (i.e. adults) never believe that Seventeen ran (on everything fr...more Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a journalist who specialized in reporting on young people and social-justice issues. Which is a fancy way of saying I reported on all the ways that young people get treated like crap—and overcome! I started out working for Seventeen magazine, writing the kinds of articles that people (i.e. adults) never believe that Seventeen ran (on everything from child soldiers in Sierra Leone to migrant teen farm workers in the U.S.). Later on, I became a freelance journalist, writing for magazines like Details, Jane, Glamour, The Nation, Elle, Budget Travel, and Cosmopolitan.

In 2002, I went traveling for a year around the world with my husband, Nick. I spent time hanging out with some pretty interesting people, a third sex (we’d probably call them transvestites here) in Tonga, Tolkien-obsessed, role-playing punks in Kazakhstan (bonus points to those of you who can find Kazakhstan on a map), working class hip-hop stars in Tanzania. The result of that year was my first book, a travel memoir called You Can’t Get There From Here: A Year On the Fringes of a Shrinking World. You can read about my trip and see pictures of it here.

What do you do when you get back home after traveling the globe for a whole year? First, you get disproportionately excited by the little comforts in life: Not having to look at a map to get everywhere? Yay! Being able to drink coffee without getting dressed and schlepping to a café first? Bliss! Then, if you’re 32 years old and have been with your husband for evah, you have a kid. Which we did. Presto, Willa!

So, there I was. With a baby. And all of a sudden I couldn’t do the kind of gallivanty reporting I’d done before. Well, you know how they say in life when one door closes another opens? In my case, the door came clear off the frame. Because I discovered that I could take the most amazing journeys of my life without ever having to leave my desk. It was all in my head. In stories I could make up. And the people I wanted to take these fantastical journeys with, they all happened to be between the ages of 12 and 20. I don’t know why. These are just the people who beckon me. And I go where I’m told.

My first young-adult novel, Sisters in Sanity, was based on another one of those social justice articles I wrote when for Seventeen and you can click here to read the article. Sisters was published in 2007. My next book, If I Stay, was published in April of 2009 by Dutton. It is also being published in 30 countries around the world, which is surreal. The sequel/companion book to If I Stay, Where She Went, comes out in April 2011. I am currently working on a new YA novel, that is, when my kids (plural, after Willa we adopted Denbele from Ethiopia) allow me to. And after that book is finished, I’ll write another, and another….

Wow. This is crazy long. I suppose the short version of this bio could simply read: My name is Gayle Forman and I love to write young-adult novels. Because I do. So thank you for reading them. Because without you, it’d just be me. And the voices in my head.

Gayle Forman is an award-winning author and journalist whose articles have appeared in such publications as Jane, Seventeen, Glamour, Elle, and The New York Times Magazine, to name just a few. She lives in New York City with her husband and daughter. (less)

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