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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
by
Ian Kerner
As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Iron
...moreHardcover, 228 pages
Published
June 1st 2004
by William Morrow & Company
(first published 2004)
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Julie (Mom2lnb)
rated it
Recommends it for:
All Adults Who Desire a Happier, Healthier Sexual Relationship
Reviewed for THC Reviews
As a woman, I know that I am not exactly the target audience for this book, but I decided to read it along with my husband. I thought this would be much better than guessing what the book was teaching men, and also open an effective line of communication on the subject. Even though I had read several positive reviews for the book prior to buying it, I was still very surprised by just how good it actually is. She Comes First is without question, the best non-fiction ...more
As a woman, I know that I am not exactly the target audience for this book, but I decided to read it along with my husband. I thought this would be much better than guessing what the book was teaching men, and also open an effective line of communication on the subject. Even though I had read several positive reviews for the book prior to buying it, I was still very surprised by just how good it actually is. She Comes First is without question, the best non-fiction ...more
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I picked up this book as a way to prove to myself that there are, in fact, men in the world who care about a woman's enjoyment as much--if not more so--than their own. Ian Kerner seems just the man--having just read his Be Honest: You're Not That Into Him Either, and having dealt recently with a number of incompetant men, I was addicted to his genuinely uplifting take on the romantic/sexual/physiological relationhip between men and women--he really does give me hope.
That said, this b...more
That said, this b...more
Obviously I’m not in the target audience for this title, but I was curious anyway. Besides, a woman can’t get what she wants if she doesn’t know what to ask for.
The text is surprisingly entertaining for a self-helper, and the author keeps things light with a lot of creative euphemism (“lunch at the Y”) and deliberately over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek hyperbole (“Once her orgasm was but a distant and faraway destination in your journey down the road of arousal. Now the contours of her s...more
The text is surprisingly entertaining for a self-helper, and the author keeps things light with a lot of creative euphemism (“lunch at the Y”) and deliberately over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek hyperbole (“Once her orgasm was but a distant and faraway destination in your journey down the road of arousal. Now the contours of her s...more
The first third of this book is a good, thoughtful (even insightful) work of non-fiction providing an excellent summary of the female sexual arousal cycle, very detailed synopsis of human female anatomy and sexual physiology. There is a fair discussion of the impact of social norms and gender roles on heterosexual sex. Factually, this work starts strong, though the author's assertion regarding the declining protective utility of barriers for STD prevention with increased number of partners see...more
Okay, the first book I finish this year, and it's a sex book. Of course. I noticed this book because it appears in Transformers 3; Sam's mom holds it up and declares, "There is some killer shit in here." My husband and I debated about whether or not that was a real book, so for giggles we googled it, and what do you know? It's a real book. (I lost the debate. I was sure it was photoshopped. I mean come on, look at the cover.) And it has good reviews! So, we said "What the hell!"...more
First, what annoys me about this book. There's a certain cheese factor to any "how to" book and this is no exception -- though the cheese is admittedly muted. More important, Kerner has a one-size-fits-all approach to sex. Different people like different things, and this is especially true of women. I'd couple this book with "The Guide to Getting it On," which beats it in tone (it's as hilarious as sex itself). The GTGIO emphasizes communication between partners. You don't kn...more
This is a book for any guy who is serious about actually learning what most women want when it comes to this subject. It's true every woman is different, but this book is probably the best guide in terms of keeping it simple, but introducing new techniques.
It's not just about the orgasm with this book, it's also about the intimacy building up that moment to be something more than it can be or that either of us thought possible.
It's a great book also to go back for a refreshe...more
It's not just about the orgasm with this book, it's also about the intimacy building up that moment to be something more than it can be or that either of us thought possible.
It's a great book also to go back for a refreshe...more
One of the things that I like about this book is that even though it sets parameters for how to perform cunnilingus, it still leaves enough room for the individuality of your partner; the biggest mistake you can make is to assume all partners reach orgasm alike. When I showed the book to my partner, she laughed at me, not because of the content, but because I had highlighted passages. With that said, there is a lot of great information in this book regarding nerves/pleasure points, positioning (...more
Everything you ever wanted to know about women and orgasms. If every man would read this, there would be no more divorce. This should be required reading in high schools.
Lots of useful information in spite of a gratingly exuberant writing style. Almost every rhetorical flourish was cringe-inducing to the point of making me want to throw the book away. The noisy odes to the overrated Strunk and White made it almost impossible to get past the first chapter.
But it had very good details and ideas, although it was a bit rigid or ideological on many points. Thank God I won't ever have to date this fucking schmuck, but I don't mind culling from his knowledge ...more
But it had very good details and ideas, although it was a bit rigid or ideological on many points. Thank God I won't ever have to date this fucking schmuck, but I don't mind culling from his knowledge ...more
Hands down THE best book on going downtown on a woman I have EVER read.
I was 50% done with this book and applied the techniques and the next morning my gf sent me a text saying, 'Babe, I know I don't tell you this enough, but last night was AMAZING!' We broke up unfortunately, but she has some stuff to sort out. It definitely wasn't sex.
I can't wait to use this on the next girl. I've re-read the material, so its going to be even more fluid and smooth. She is in fo...more
I was 50% done with this book and applied the techniques and the next morning my gf sent me a text saying, 'Babe, I know I don't tell you this enough, but last night was AMAZING!' We broke up unfortunately, but she has some stuff to sort out. It definitely wasn't sex.
I can't wait to use this on the next girl. I've re-read the material, so its going to be even more fluid and smooth. She is in fo...more
Daniel Namie
added it
All those guys out there having women troubles ought to read "She Comes First" and all you problems will be solved. Learning and educating yourself about the female body is an empowering and life-long tool. Pleasing your woman with a orgasm and she will love you for the rest of your life.
This is the Kerner book touching on female sexuality but it is really about cunnilingus. Pretty exhaustive, actually, and had some good information. It has very specific cunnilingus routines, for those who are interested.
Heh heh, I'm blushing a bit as I write about this.
Heh heh, I'm blushing a bit as I write about this.
While I certainly got some good info from this book, I felt too much time was spent convincing the reader that cunnilingus was a good thing. Aren't we all on the same page with that? And if not, why did you pick up a book about it! Also, the author insisted on "recapping" his chapters with a review of what we learned. Not a bad idea in a text book, but these chapters were only a page or two long. My memory's not that bad! I didn't care for the shifts in tone either, from flowery...more
I don't think the 4-star rating need be elaborated upon. BUT overall this an interesting read, with a different perspective and truthfully, I actually learned some things. So women should read it too.
Without getting into too many details, I found this book extremely helpful. The author's humor is a bit silly at times, but I found him to be quite professional. Even though it is titled "the thinking man's guide..." I would highly recommend this for women who want to give their partners better instructions. In addition to the technical assistance, the author advocates for an outlook and approach to sex that is less intercourse based and more focused on pleasure and intimacy, that l...more
There's no need to be selfish, gentlemen. Very serious and informative book on pleasing your ladies.
Bonnie Jeanne
marked it as to-read
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner (2004)
It works! Take you time with this book and cunnilingus and you will be rewarded.
Definitely an interesting read. I did not necessary love the author's writing style, but it was very informative.
Reid
added it
Every Man should read this book and benefit from it, no question.
This should become required reading for ALL men at an early age!
I rate it as a 4 - Could move to a 5 if we implement this!!
Hey, they don't teach you this stuff in school!
It should be essential reading for any man.
She Comes First by Ian Kerner (date?)
Not as good as Sue Johanssen says.
Yep. More. I know.
very interesting...
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